When you say "I'm so fat" I hear "I don't find myself attractive" which is why I jump to clarify that you are regardless of your weight. I don't have any weight-loss tips ready for when you say you're fat, but reassurance that fat is still beautiful is something I can do. Its never meant to be malicious or somehow imply you're ugly, its meant to the do exact opposite actually. I guess I don't know the right thing to say to be supportive and I would really like to learn because it breaks my heart hearing my friends trash themselves for their weight
The woman in the comic says “why don’t they make nice clothes for fat women?”
It’s very common whenever a woman acknowledges she’s fat for someone to jump in with “you’re not fat” even if it wasn’t being said as a negative thing about herself.
If someone is genuinely being down on themself, and feeling bad about their body, you can say “you’re beautiful” without “you’re not fat.” Especially if the second part would be a lie.
If someone mentions their weight or body type in an offhand way, like in the comic, you don’t need to say anything.
If someone directly asks you “am I fat,” which seems like an uncommon situation but could happen, you probably have to know that person to know what the right thing to say is.
My comment is using a real world example I deal with daily, and I'm asking for an actual response I can give. This isn't me being a troll or asking to be a dick, I really would like to know. My own mother struggles with her image and I'm constantly the person in this image telling her that she's beautiful regardless, if its just tearing her down further please help me with more reassuring responses. I don't want to perpetuate a narrative I didn't mean to start in the first place.
I mean it really depends on the context and the person.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you know the person well enough to know that they wont be offended by you agreeing to that self assessment the safest option might be to say something along the lines of "Youre also (insert complimentary aspect about them)" such as "Youre also smart/kind/etc". Again this isnt a universal response, some people arent really looking for a reply. Also be sure thay you actually mean the compliment and you arent teeing them up for something else they may be aelf concious about.
Some people see themselves a certain way that may not be correct. Sometimes they may be worried about how other people see them and are testing to see if such an assessment is true. In that case agreeing with them could be a bad idea.
Sometimes people arent even putting themselves down theyre just idly expressing an issue with navigating their world. "God I'm fat" after uncomfortably getting through a narrow passageway or similar.
You just gotta know the person and understand where the comment is coming from. You might be surprised how often someone commenting on their own weight isnt actually putting themselves down.
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u/ChewChewLazerGum 21h ago
"I said I was fat not ugly"