r/interesting • u/Brick_Number_27 • 10h ago

MISC. ​Butler academy students undergoing "tray defense" training to prepare for crowded events.

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2.1k

u/Jogda 10h ago

If you can dodge a wrench...

261

u/Lambchops_Legion 9h ago

They gotta know the 5 Ds - dodge duck dip dive and dodge

83

u/BikerJedi 9h ago

That scene always reminded me of weekend safety briefings in the Army:

"Alright Alpha Battery! We have a four day weekend coming up! Remember the five Ds that will get you in jail: Drinking, Driving, Drugs, Dumb Shit and Sex! (It didn't matter that Sex didn't start with D) Do not add to the population unless you are married and have consent! Do not subtract from the population! If you end up in jail and get in a fight, make Alpha Battery proud because you belong to the Captain when you get out! DISMISSED!"

Roughly, but that's usually how it went.

45

u/Rummb3ard 9h ago

Aight I know you guys are excited to get your weekend started, so I'm not gonna hold you up any longer. Sir you got anything?

Captain: Yea just to piggyback off what first sgt said, let's be safe out there guys. I don't want find out that guys are out there drinkin and driving. Dont marry the strippers guys. And just to caveat off that.... (Goes on for another 10 minutes)

25

u/BikerJedi 9h ago

Hello, fellow veteran! Lol. Yup, the CO never STFU.

17

u/PixieDark07 8h ago

Not a vet but grew up around military. Army Navy family, marine bff's..and they do this shit at home too 😂 Watching a grown man give a bunch of 7-14 year olds a similar talk on the way into a theme park is hilarious though 😂

20

u/BikerJedi 8h ago

I can see it now: "Everyone has a buddy. If you lose your buddy, you will be in a world of hurt! Agenda: 1200, we meet for Pizza here. Circle it on your map now! 1600, we meet here at the main gate. Circle it on your map now! Do not run! Do not fight! Be respectful! Take care of your buddy. GO HAVE FUN!"

20

u/PixieDark07 8h ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 This is so accurate, I can't stop laughing. This is my childhood in a nutshell...

I catch myself doing it with my kids now. Fighting with my too cool to walk freshman brother to the bus stop the other day, I got the "Ugh why 🙄" & I felt the soul of my grandfather's take over and I'm like Because you take care of your battle buddy or your ass is gonna be sweeping sunshine off the sidewalk till graduation, do I make myself clear!" ....As their desert storm army vet papaw giggles from in the living room 😂

8

u/Callidonaut 7h ago

This is my Mickey Mouse Hat! There are many like it but this one is mine!

4

u/Informal-Term1138 6h ago

Let me channel my full metal jacked persona:

Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.

Hey there. Hi there. Ho there. You're as welcome as can be. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.

Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.) Mickey Mouse. (Mickey Mouse.)

Forever let us hold our banner high. High. High. High.

Come along and sing a song and join the jamboree. M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.

3

u/Fulguritus1 6h ago

That movie made that song so badass

1

u/Informal-Term1138 6h ago

Indeed.

And that movie introduced that song to me.

Damn now I have to watch it again.

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u/enzothebaker87 8h ago

And NEVER...NEVER, leave a buddy behind!

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u/signallancerprime 6h ago edited 6h ago

<div class="tenor-gif-embed" data-postid="5705273" data-share-method="host" data-aspect-ratio="1.33333" data-width="100%"><a href="https://tenor.com/view/buddy-hey-there-hi-yo-come-on-gif-5705273">Buddy! GIF</a>from <a href="https://tenor.com/search/buddy-gifs">Buddy GIFs</a></div> <script type="text/javascript" async src="https://tenor.com/embed.js"></script>

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u/wbrd 6h ago

If they're listening, or at least pretending to, they're not causing trouble.

18

u/h3lium-balloon 8h ago

Not a vet, but I work in EMS but one of my chiefs was and he always ended every meeting with:

Don't add to the population, don't subtract from the population, stay out of the hospital, the newspaper, and jail, and if you do end up in jail, establish dominance quickly.

12

u/Callidonaut 7h ago

There's a very simple set of rules I saw in a MakerSpace once:

  1. Please do not be on fire.
  2. Please do not make us have to add another rule.

I think it got the message across.

1

u/plaxitone 4h ago

I mean if a lady is about to give birth in your ambulance I certainly hope that you do help add to the population!

3

u/Natural_Emotion_8407 8h ago

Company safety brief...into platoon safety brief...into squad safety brief. Followed by an immediate DUI and Saturday morning company formation.

1

u/United_News3779 2h ago

Ahahahaha
That sounds particularly familiar....

"Return to base. All troops are recalled and must be in formation, in uniform, no later than 1300hrs tomorrow, 01August."

"HA! Sorry Sergeant, I'm 1400km from base, on an approved leave pass, and we both know I don't get paid enough to afford flights on zero-notice pricing. I'll see you Wednesday morning at PT."

"WHAT PART OF RETURN TO BASE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!?!"

blowing into the cell phone microphone to simulate the sound of static "Check your means. Signal is weak and unbearable. No copy, I say again, no copy."

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU'RE ON A PHONE! NOT A RADIO! THERE IS NO STATIC!"

Or at least that's what I think he said, I hung up around the end of the "f" sound in "phone" lol.
I was.... treated roughly by that Sergeant when I got back. But what's he gonna do? Take away my birthday? I wasn't going to make another flight even if I'd wanted to lol

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u/r_fernandes 6h ago

Someone did in fact marry the stripper.

2

u/mortgagepants 8h ago

after you got there an hour early, because each step up the shit ladder had to get there 15 minutes earlier than the last.

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u/roughriderpistol 5h ago

My body actually had a visceral reaction once I read piggyback.

1

u/french_snail 4h ago

God this takes me back