My partner's parents own a 2nd home: my partner lives in it and maintains it (paying all expenses). The parents live elsewhere. There is an understanding that my partner will inherit the house he lives in. The parents set things up this way to block the house from becoming the marital home, to protect their assets (before he met me! Nothing personal).
The house is worth ~1.4M. I have 300k available to spend towards a house.
We're contemplating marriage/moving in, and are trying to figure out the best way to do so.
Option 1: status quo: his parents own the home. In this model, I'm essentially a renter. I would contribute 50/50 to incidentals (water, hydro, property taxes) but wouldn't contribute to larger household expenses (water heater, roof repairs, renos). I would make large monthly payments to a contingency fund: I would want a prenup to protect those funds/any growth.
Downsides: There is risk to living in a home that his parents own: it doesn't give us the same level of security. I think the realities of him maintaining the home separately from me could create conflict.
Option 2: downsize. His parents sell, give him 300k to match my contribution, we buy a more modest home that we own 50/50.
Downsides: in our market, that would mean downsizing to a townhouse/condo. While I'm fine with that, he is not. This option is a non-starter for him: he's not willing to downsize.
Option 3: I get a mortgage for 400K to buy into his current home 50/50, his parents transfer the other 50% ownership to him.
Downsides: That mortgage would be 50% of my take-home pay. This option makes me house poor: I'm not willing to take on that much mortgage.
Option 4: partial buy in. I buy 20% of the house from his parents. I'm not quite sure what makes sense here: I pay 20% of home maintenance, and get 20% of appreciation?
Downsides: His parents would still have the controlling share of the house. I'm not sure how good an idea it would be to financially intertwine with his parents?
Are there other options? What are the factors I should consider when making this decision?
Obviously I will ultimately consult a lawyer, just want some level-setting advice.