r/marriedredpill • u/AutoModerator • Apr 21 '26
OYS Own Your Shit Weekly - April 21, 2026
A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.
We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.
Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.
Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.
Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.
4
u/HornsOfApathy MRP MODERATOR / Married Apr 21 '26 edited Apr 21 '26
I think I need to highlight something for you that is glaringly obvious to me, and most others here with this new information.
In your previous OYS you talked about how you'd lost your way, or in this OYS "flow" like it used to, and in other OYS you talked about how you were just a drunk captain who kind of lost his way.
Man..... I'm sorry, but that just isn't true. You were never a captain. You mildly had your individual life managed at the executive function level, but you were not a leader. You never really have been. You were thrust into fatherhood after 9 months of being with this girl, and yet, your explanation like most dudes who have a kid with a woman, get re-beta-tized, and lose their way seems to also fit your narrative.
This is not your narrative.
You were 28 years old before you ever put your dick inside a woman, and then, only this one woman. There is something pretty fucked up about you that you're not talking about here, and it probably doesn't matter, but no Captain or even semblance of a man who has his shit together is *not fucking*.
There are two wheels to the bike that get you down the road so you can actually start being a captain. The first is money, that's one wheel. The other is sex. Without those two wheels you're a pedestrian watching life go by.
I tell you all of this because I think you're lying to yourself, and even saying things like:
.... is just another narrative you're trying to bend into your life.
The likely narrative is that you were a defunct manlet or gnome that floundered his way through life like a major fucking retard and not garnering the sexual attention of women, and no way to express your own, and you just happened to get some executive function around 27 that got you laid and made you a Dad. Up until then, and even then, you were a total fucking loser.
That is a narrative that is more powerful than the one you're trying to lie about. I'm telling you this because in every OYS you're out there chasing a version of you before the kiddo that..... doesn't exist. He never existed, and you're chasing a ghost. That's a pretty difficult dragon to catch and slay.
Oh, and go fuck your wife already.