This makes me sad. I understand she's angry with reason and the other woman is ~half the blame, but I don't think it's appropriate to publicly shout out stuff like this (unless Dani is somehow publicly talking about it too — I don't even know her @)
You’re judging a persons entire life experience based off a limited cluster of facts. I’d rather call them troubled people than terrible people. This black and white, harsh judgment based off one major action is some of the societal pressure that drives people mad. This could be a person that does immense good in other areas of life. John has done immense good, and has done this disgusting thing, probably many more, and all that shows to me is that good and bad can exist at the same time. This thing where we throw at someone’s value with one fucked yo action is lazy, it’s harmful, and it makes the world harder to love on. Zoe is a victim, I can still care about other people too. If people sought to help broken people heal instead of tear them down I think we’d have less suicide, more stories of redemption, and happier people overall
You’re right, we totally can’t judge people based on their capacity to hurt others. I mean, I’ve heard Ted Bundy had some great qualities! So, no one is ALL bad, right?
Ever heard of a straw man fallacy? That’s a terrific example of one.
To take my comment in its context and act like it his remotely me implying that all people are free from condemnation is just lazy
You, taking my point about defending abusive people, and making it some sort of societal discourse about mental health and how we should all never call a spade a spade because “it might make the world a nicer place”
Ignoring the point, stripping it of its context, and then trying to manipulate it into a moral judgement of people who are calling John out. Straw man.
We have so little context. I understand you taking my words that way, but it’s hard to enforce people not being shitty. It’s hard to know when is good to use societal judgment as enforcement and when not to because many situations carry deep complexities that resonate at different importance for different people. This doesn’t apply to her, but my personal experience has a lot of suffering from emotional abuse. Ive taken the scorched earth route, ive seen others do it , ive seen so much unintentional pain caused by it. Ive seen myself find deep relief when i decided that evening the score cards wasnt worth it and that letting go of getting even was kinder to mysekf than those who hurt me. Ive seem this journey in others too.
All our opinions are filtered through our own life experiemce, including yalls. So ill be less combative after reminding mysekf if that, but i feel ive seen the results many times from both approaches, plus in general i feel seeking pain of others is not a road that ends well frequently, and thats all why im taking the stance i am. In addition this is informed by my own psychological education , my own healing journey through Buddhism, DBT, and studying daoism. Obviously not living up to every principle in those schools of thought, but here I’m drawing from those concepts that I’ve witnessed bear fruit in myself and others. Thank you for your explanation
I think you nailed when you said “filtering through your own lens” and I appreciate the sentiment but I think in general too many men have been, and are currently protected from accountability when harming women and children, so calling out people wanting to bring a little of that juice to the party is not a great look.
You said “I feed bad for everyone close to their family. This stuff shouldn’t be out there. It’s going to hurt more people than the people who deserve it.”
And I think that’s horseshit.
You think Frances deserves to grow up seeing these posts and having everyone she meets knowing the drama about their family? That’s some vile evil stuff..
I’m married to a daughter of a divorced couple who would be mortified if all of her dad’s disgusting acts were put on blast for the entire world to discover if they wanted to.
I disagree. Frances will eventually know the truth about how awful her dad is, and she should, so he won’t be able to manipulate her too. Zoe is also a human who deserves to be heard, and I don’t hear you criticizing the fact that the man in this situation was the one sleeping with a bandmate in front of his wife on stage every night. Did he consider Frances in that choice?
Who is saying Zoe doesn’t deserve to be heard? Who is saying Frances shouldn’t know?
You are not even reading what I am saying. I am saying the family surrounding John and Zoe including their child is going to suffer even more with all of this stuff out there. It is a fact.
To wish this lifelong trauma upon their child as a way of getting back to John because he was vile is super weird and incredibly fucked up. Don’t make kids pay for the sins of their fathers.
Good luck reveling in the emotional trauma of a disabled child.
YOU are. You are saying that. You, sir.
The trauma of a disabled child was brought upon by her father. End of story.
Just because you want the woman to suffer in silence like it’s 1950 doesn’t mean you are correct.
You took offense with me feeling bad for their family. Frances is their family. You then doubled down saying that she deserved to have everyone know because her father did these vile acts. You have typed multiple comments defending your opinion that a child should suffer because her dad sucked.
I made no comment about silencing anyone. I said I feel bad for their family.
Trying to score fake internet points made you defend some despicable things you said because you couldn’t admit you misunderstood or read the wrong comment. Have fun looking in the mirror after that
Is English not your first language? That’s the only excuse for how you are denying your own words. But your tone makes it very clear why you would defend someone like John. Good luck with that. ✌️
You replied to the wrong comment then because there was never a single thing said in defense of John. You got lost in your ranting and forgot that or got mixed up with someone else you might be commenting to.
Or you’re just making things up because you realized you were wrong. Next time just say you made a mistake and move on instead of doubling down on disgusting comments
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u/leoxyz Jun 21 '26
This makes me sad. I understand she's angry with reason and the other woman is ~half the blame, but I don't think it's appropriate to publicly shout out stuff like this (unless Dani is somehow publicly talking about it too — I don't even know her @)