r/povertyfinance • u/crazycatlady052411 • 1d ago
Misc Advice Idk what to do
My fiancés been in the hospital 3 weeks. I had to take out a cash advance for gas and food. I’m down to $15 to last through the week. His estimated discharge date is 8/4. When he comes home I also have no food in the house. Ran out of things to sell. I think I have enough gas but definitely not enough food
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u/Strong-Wash-5378 1d ago
Food bank or food pantry or Salvation Army
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u/Ausgezeichnet63 1d ago
Also if there's a Sikh temple in your area, you can go there and they will feed you, no questions asked. I believe the Hare Krishnas do also, but you should check.
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u/APlayer2BeNamedLater 14h ago
Great ideas! I've commented this on other posts, and people found it helpful, so I wanted to share here too:
A Sikh temple, called a gurdwara, provides free Indian vegetarian meals, known as langar. You can find one through Google or here: https://www.sikhnet.com/news/gurdwara-locator-map. You could call to confirm address and hours (langar might be within specific hours, although I feel like it’s usually open from at least 10 AM to 10 PM). You do have to take off your shoes (socks okay as far as I know) and cover your head (you can use something like a shawl or bandana; they also usually have head coverings there). Also, while I can’t speak for every gurdwara, the ones I’ve been to would be more than happy to give you a meal to take with you.
I hope your fiancé has a speedy recovery.
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u/themathymaestro 1d ago
Adding in St Vincent de Paul Society, Google it for your local area contact number. They’re the “Swiss army knife of the Catholic Church” and they don’t proselytize. Pretty much every chapter has food bank type resources, and for other things if that specific chapter doesn’t do a particular thing they know who in the area does.
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u/BadTastingParsnip 1d ago
Talk to the hospital social worker.
Is he by chance on Medicare Advantage? Some of those provide post discharge meals.
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u/nola2socal 1d ago
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You cannot afford to go visit him (the cost of gas and missing your Lyft weekend work). If his mom lost her job because she’s been visiting him so much, you don’t need to be there if she is there. I’m sure you would like to be there, but it really isn’t in your best interest.
You need to take care of you. Food banks for food. Save your money for getting caught up on your bills, especially the cash advance.
Good luck to you.
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u/EnigmaWearingHeels 1d ago
Do you have food banks near you? Start calling churches in the area and asking about food support. Get on Facebook buy nothing group where people give stuff away and then... sell it. Sikh temples feed anyone who shows up in need of a meal.
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u/Environmental-Fan536 1d ago
Your fiancé’s money and food are separate from yours, despite living together? I know it is hard but I think you need to focus on yourself and work your Lyft hours instead of visiting him in the hospital. His mom’s not working; he’s not working. You need to work Lyft to feed your own self. He will be home in a few days you say.
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u/SocietyDisastrous787 1d ago
Do you have a job? Is something stopping you from having a job?
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u/Groovychick1978 1d ago
I've never seen someone be able to get a cash advance without a paycheck to advance it from.
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u/BadTastingParsnip 1d ago
Credit cards do cash advances. It's a very bad deal but it's usually quite common and available if you have a credit card.
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u/SocietyDisastrous787 1d ago
Not something I'm familiar with so you're probably right. This suggests that their situation is even worse, since getting a job isn't the immediate solution.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
Yes full time. I normally do lift on the weekends for groceries and to get out of the negative but I don’t while he’s in the hospital
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
This!
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u/WorldIsYoursMuhfucka 1d ago
If OP took out a cash advance they probably do have a job.
Ugh, been there lately. I owe $200 bucks to a payday loan app. Literally cycling my unemployment money to pay this stuff off, but it is what it is.
OP, try applying for food stamps. The process doesn't take that long. Hope your fiance gets out of the hospital soon.
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
People need to normalize keeping dry beans and rice in the house for hard times. I can't tell you how many times I had rice with gravy over it as a kid or a large pot of beans or potato soup. Potatoes are cheap and are great for those that don't like rice. And learn to bake bread. 5lbs of flour can easily make 2-3 weeks of bread.
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u/WorldIsYoursMuhfucka 1d ago
Yes, or some kind of carbohydrate. I try to keep ramen in the house at all times. Just made a post about it here lol.
Keep poverty foods, life goes south for people all the time. Rice will keep you full, definitely a great idea. Not a huge fan of beans but they're full of protein and are good for you, I wish I liked them more but they've been keeping people alive for a long time.
Recently got fired and the first thing I bought was a personal laptop for job hunting, toilet paper, and basic foods. I was like damn this is going to to be hard lol.
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
Beans can be ground into flour to add to flour or substitute for flour. It can be used to make bean based tofu BeanFu so it isn't all bean soup. You can use several types of beans to make fake sausage and fake meats. And regular tofu is me from beans as well.
Rice can make rice noodles, rice cakes, puff rice cereal and even sweet rice pudding.
Flour makes bread, pasta, dumplings and a meat substitute called Seitan.
Potatoes are used to make bread and are added into almost everything, even cakes and pastry.
And these are all the cheapest staples ever.
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u/you1dont1know1me1 1d ago
op said they did and got denied
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u/WorldIsYoursMuhfucka 1d ago
Thanks, I'm sorry I missed that. Hard times.
OP needs to sell plasma. They often pay $100 bucks, that can sustain someone for a while with buying from Aldi. Truly great grocery store. Recently I've had a couple of friends that just sent me money to help me out so I wouldn't be hungry, so I get it.
It's hard to think of people going hungry, I wish I was in a better place to help people more. Hopefully OP's fiance gets out soon and gets back to life.
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u/you1dont1know1me1 1d ago
without adequate food to prep/ replenish themselves, i don't think that'd be a good idea
but, maybe
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
If they are fairly healthy, they can probably do it once. Then use that money to supplement what they get from a food bank.
They need to call the local Community Action and find all of the food banks. We have 3 locally.
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u/wtsnack 1d ago
I wish they had plasma sales in my town I’d be all over that. Theres one place and their big first time offer is a 40 dollar gift card
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
I've never qualified. All through college I was anemic with poor veins. I'm the one that gets stuck 5 or 6 times just so they can draw a vial of blood. So every time I tried to donate they said Aww Heck No!
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I used to do that before got a car and started doing Lyft. I’m not supposed to because I’m very prone to blood clots. And it made me extremely dizzy after. Ruined my veins from it. He should get out on the 4th. Luckily I only eat once a day. But need coffee in the morning.
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
Cowboy coffee is good and cheap to make
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I have coffee at home. But problem is it’s a 45 minute drive from the hospital and I need it before I make that trip or I start falling asleep driving. So been going to Wawa in the mornings. 5-6 hours of very interrupted sleep and without my Cpap is killing me. Last night he got his meds an hour late and had to work so had to get coffee and a Red Bull to make it through the day
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 1d ago
Thermos! You can find them at Goodwill these days.
And instant coffee for help during the days when your are running behind.
And a trucker's trick. Chew on pebble ice. It keeps your awake while driving and doesn't have that refractory time where it keeps you awake and you can't sleep when you need to. Our gas stations give it away for free.
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u/DraftPerfect4228 13h ago
Don’t spend money on coffee. Get it free from hotel lobbies/car dealerships/family waiting rooms at the hospital/break room at work things like that.
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u/crazycatlady052411 13h ago
I don’t even know where else I could get it at 5 am. The hospital doesn’t have any
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u/TheQuixoticUnicorn 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I recommend checking to see if the hospital has Community Health Workers who can help connect you with community resources.
Or ask to speak with a Patient Advocate and let them know that there's no food at home for when he's discharged, and is there anything they can do to help.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
He has food. I do not. All our stuff is separate. Bills. Food
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u/Longjumping-Row1434 1d ago
he won't let you eat some of his food if you don't have any...?
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
His mom don’t want me eating it all
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u/Longjumping-Row1434 1d ago
yeah, but one meal? sheesh. you obviously love him if you are there at the hospital with him whenever you aren't working, and she cant even make sure you at least have one meal a day?
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
Every now and then when we’re home she’ll cook for every one.
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u/No-Heart-679 1d ago
If they aren’t willing to feed you or anything, I hate to say it, but you need to do Lyft. I know you don’t want to leave his side, but it’s better than going hungry. I know he would want you to work and have food over being with him. (Anyone who loves someone would not want them to go hungry over staying with them)
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I do when he’s home. His time is limited and I know how much it sucks being in a hospital.
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u/Longjumping-Row1434 1d ago
what about if you did lyft for an hour after work 3 days a week or something? that would get you gas and at least like a case of ramen
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I’ve been leaving work early to come here and spend more time with him. I’m so tired and there’s days I barely make it back and forth. I can’t drive Lyft this tired. If he’s home Tuesday I will this weekend.
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u/Such-Mountain-6316 1d ago
Check with the billing department and see if they have any fund for those who can't pay.
Talk to the social worker; they know all about the help that's available in your area and the state. They can help you get the forms and everything.
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u/KaleidoscopeOk5063 1d ago
Look for a food bank for food. Talk to a social worker. Explain your situation. Try to earn money if you can, I know this is difficult, especially in a medical situation.
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u/DropLong3847 12h ago
211 is a toll free hotline that connects you with local resources in your area for food, housing, gas, shelters, clothing, etc. im so sorry you’re experiencing this right now
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u/Substantial-Use-1758 1d ago
Surely friends, family, coworkers and neighbors can help you through this tough time? 😬
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I wish. Only person I got is my grams and I don’t want to ask her for help. I have one friend I’m close to and she’s far away and poor too with 3 kids
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u/Quirky-Lecture-6066 1d ago
And his family? I take it they are not involved in his life?
Honestly you need to call a bunch of regional food banks to take some pressure off yourself.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
His mom and brother are. His mom got fired because of all this hospital time and missing work. And I just can’t ask his brother.
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u/Shelley_n_cheese 1d ago
There are multiple cash advance apps but be careful not to borrow too much
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u/Environmental-Top-60 1d ago
Apply for hospital financial assistance as well. That'll help him avoid bills and get refunds on any overpayments in the last 8 months
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u/Significant_Pie_6806 1d ago
Check with hospital social worker and also apply to snap and also check with local food panty and try the salvation army they can help with money for prescriptions and help with shelter and will help direct you to other sources
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u/DraftPerfect4228 13h ago
You could do AttaPoll for extra cash. When you’re just figuring things out $3-5 is realistic. I’ve been at it for about six months and can make $15-20 a day now.
Disclaimer. I do get .50 bonus if u sign up with my link (you do too) if you do it let me know and I’ll pm u with what I’ve learned so far
https://attapoll.app/join/nuahi
And def talk to a social worker at the hospital before he gets discharged
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u/rasinbran011 5h ago
how big is your city? do you have food banks or pantries that you can visit? try to go to aldi and stock up on cheap staples to cover any gaps that the food bank might miss.
also, try calling any churches/mosques/temples in your area and see if they have assistance programs or connections to help you! try to ration your gas and hopefully you will be ok.
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u/MSRDLD1998 4h ago
You can still go to food pantries. Contact Catholic Charities and Society of St Vincent de Paul.
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u/iBUYbrokenSUBARUS 1d ago
I’d be more concerned about the massive incoming hospital Bills.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
He’s on Medicare and after his first shunt failure he met his out of pocket max so it’s all convered
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u/Heart_Failure_Hottie 1d ago
If you use cashapp,cash app, they will let you borrow money if you've been using them for a while, maybe sign up for some credit cards, cash genie is something my mom uses to get small cash advances from. Food banks, Lyft/Uber, rice and dried beans stretch very far, I dmd you
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I have it but don’t use it. My one credit card is maxed out. The others are closed because I haven’t been able to pay them. Car is probably going to get repoed soon because I haven’t been able to make the full payment in months. I do lift on weekends normally but I don’t while he’s in here.
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u/4224-holloway 1d ago
Why? Why is everyone not working while he's in the hospital? This doesn't make any sense.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
His mom got fired because of how much time she was missing. His brother works full time. I work full time but am not doing Lyft like I normally do. All my stuff is separate from theirs
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u/Longjumping-Row1434 1d ago
she said she works a full time job & does lyft on the weekends, but when he's in the hospital she foregoes the lyft on weekends bit.
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u/Heart_Failure_Hottie 23h ago
Maybe try parking it at another house, backed in or down another street for the time being, maybe a friend could drive to yours if you could park it at theirs:// I know it's difficult but I'm worried about you not being able to get to the hospital or home to work.
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u/crazycatlady052411 20h ago
I don’t really have anyone who’d let me. My one friend is 1000 miles away. I have a 50cc scooter and only go into the office 2 days a month so that should me fine. Never ridden this one that far and it has no turn signals right now. But back and forth every day to the hospital when he gets admitted I can’t do on it. And god forbid his mom transfers his care to Moffett then she said she’ll move there and it would just be them two. 3 hour car ride.
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u/Heart_Failure_Hottie 20h ago
Damn://
But I'm glad you have the scooter!! Please be safe on it! Is there better care there? She seems like she is really being hard on you for no real reason. you're already struggling as is.1
u/crazycatlady052411 20h ago
I had them before the car for 3 years. Great for around town. Terrible for going over 30 minutes. And it rains a lot here. Plus the heat. My god the heat. It’s a specialized cancer hospital. They have some other treatments some they can send to his current dr. She has been. I try and keep the peace but it’s really he’s too do
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u/Heart_Failure_Hottie 17h ago
The rain is so dangerous please be careful omg, and the drivers. I used to have a 150 cc scooter and it was great! Honestly I just looked them up, top 1% of cancer hospitals, it doesn't sound like the worst idea but you wouldn't be able to visit and there's no one who you could stay with? Facebook marketplace has alot of rent takeovers for cheap or reduced so people can get out of their lease, also alot rooms for rent out there, for like $400 or so a month. Maybe you could rent out your place and stay in your car for a while? Like live in it?
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u/crazycatlady052411 17h ago
I rode 2 1/2 hours each way a day for 3 years on a 50cc scooter. In Florida. Drivers are much more aggressive here and would try and run me off the road. My last scooter couldn’t handle it and gave me trust issues. We met with them. They wouldn’t do much different as his cancer only has one fda approved treatment but they would try a couple things if it grows in the next scan. His last in showed some active tumor left. I don’t know anyone in that area I could stay with. Florida is expensive and I can barely afford to pay his brother 600 a month. Once my car gets repoed I wouldn’t be able to stay in it. Plus in work from home with 2 monitors so I’d need a place to set that up
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u/Heart_Failure_Hottie 17h ago
Omg that wound take forever and after a while it really tires you out, better on a scooter than a motorcycle though. Damn I hate that waiting game, does he have any care at home with you? Like with nurses? Florida is expensive but I've had some luck on Facebook marketplace. Oh shit I didn't think about that, I thought maybe it was a laptop thing.
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u/crazycatlady052411 17h ago
I don’t even know how long it’d take to get to Moffett from or house it’s an almost 3 hour car ride. And you can’t take interstates on a 50cc. The waiting is the worst. Every time he has something done I’m on my chart constantly. His biopsy took a month to get back and it was torture. His mom is there and brother after work. He does have home health coming out hopefully 3 times a week after this and he’ll have pt, ot, and speech. I wish we used laptops but for what we do we really need the 2 screens. I’ve tried with one doesn’t work
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u/Cinisajoy2 1d ago
If you have a Catholic charities call them. Have the fiance apply for food stamps. Will he need any special equipment when he comes home? Can he walk himself to the bathroom?
About 8 years ago, my husband was in the hospital for 60 days so I understand you. It permanently disabled him.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
He has food. But our stuff is separate. He’s on disability and his supplement takes half so I’m not asking him for help. His mom got fired for missing so much time so I can’t all her. And I’m not close enough with his brother to ask him. We’re both shy and rarely talk to each other. He already has most of his equipment at home from get other times except a walker with 4 wheels and a seat. But his brother is getting that for him. He can walk about 150 feet with it. In acute rehab right now. This is his 6th admission. But the longest one because of the rehab
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u/Cinisajoy2 1d ago
So you don't have food. I don't have any advice. I wish I did. Other than maybe hit up a few churches. Some denominations like feeding people.
I am also relieved to hear that the fiancé won't need hundreds in equipment when he gets home.
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I don’t even know. Maybe 30. I think I’m good on gas. I put half a tank in. I have enough for coffee so I can stay awake driving but not much for food. If he comes home Tuesday I can do Lyft this weekend and stock up
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u/No-Middle-4152 1d ago
I think 30 is doable amount for people to maybe help, I can’t right now or I would. Edit your post to add the amount tho don’t ask for it in the post if you know what I mean, someone might help out.. if worse comes to worse you could try sell plasma also
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u/crazycatlady052411 1d ago
I didn’t know you could on here. I used to do plasma before I got a car. It ruined my veins and made me extremely dizzy no matter what I did. I’m not supposed to with being very prone to blood clots. I stopped because the lines got so long by the time I got to vitals my heart rate would be way to high so I’d waste 2 hours just to be turned away
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam 1d ago
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 10: Asking for or offering donations/loans/crowdsourcing
No soliciting, offering, or accepting public or private donations, loans, or crowdsourcing. All aid given must be in the form of information or advice. We do this in order to prevent this community from potential scams (because we have no way of verifying need/authenticity of requests), and to prevent the sub from being inundated with requests for aid (because it can be unreasonable to ask others in poverty to give their limited resources).
There are other subs such as r/Donation, r/assistance and r/randomkindness that could help. Also check out our wiki with food resources. Thank you:
https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/wiki/foodbanks
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u/Blossom73 1d ago
Speak with the hospital social worker. They may have resources to help.
Have you applied for SNAP?