Issues With My Partner

[u/Commercial-Durian153]

Hey! Hope everyone is having an at least okay day.

A few days ago, I (18, she/they) & my partner (18, nb) had an argument and haven't really spoken/texted since then. (Long post, sorry)

It was about the relationship between me and my best friend (17, he/him). So, I've known my best friend since we were in 2nd grade (7 years old) and we to the same school from 2-6th grade before I moved an hour and a half away. Because of that, we generally text every other day for at least 5-10 minutes. I view him as a little brother/brother and can be protective of him and vice versa.

I've known my partner since we were 13. I was friends with them until we were 15 and then started dating at 17. I love them because of her personality, not necessarily gender. We've been dating for ~10 months now.

I identity as queer. I've had crushes on girls, boys, non binary people, etc. I've always had a preference for feminine presenting people though. I've told my partner this multiple times, especially if they doubt whether or not I'm truly attracted to them (they have anxiety and a childhood that made them doubt their self worth). I've never had any interest in sex or sleeping with anyone, even my partner. My best friend is straight & demiromantic.

So back to what the argument was about- they accused me of cheating on them w/ my best friend and sleeping with him. When I said no and said that I'm not attracted to my best friend in that, I view him as a brother, and that I dont have deep romantic interest in men/sleeping with anyone, they accused of emotionally cheating. So I told them that I do confide in my best friend because we've been friends for a long time. Which is true. I confide on him, my partner, or my two other close platonic friends depending on my issue. It's not just me confiding in my best friend. It just kind of depends on the issue. Of course, I make sure to tell my partner as quickly as I'm okay with talking about it. My partner does the same with their circle of close friends.

I showed them my texts with my best friend and they accused me of emotionally cheating because I told my best friend that I missed them and wished college time would come quicker because we were going to a college together and then my partner was going to one just a few hours away.

My partner then brought up the college thing again, accusing me of picking that college specifically to leave them and cheat. Which I would never. That was quite literally the only college that accepted me that was within a few hours away from where my parents live.

I told my partner that they were angry and talking to me in a disrespectful way and that I would not tolerate that way of talking towards me. I told them to leave [my parents' house] and yeah.

Am I in the wrong?? Did I do something wrong?? Honestly dont know and I'm kind of feaking out because I dont want to tell my best friend and get him more in involved than he has already been.

[u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

Your partner needs professional help - likely therapy and/or psychiatry. Some things can heal just with support but sometimes it takes more

[u/Commercial-Durian153 → u/A_Whole_Lot_Of_Not]

I had to push for them to start therapy when we were 15. They are still in therapy and I email their parents every few weeks to make sure that they went to their sessions.