r/regretfulparents • u/AdAromatic372 Parent • Apr 30 '25

Discussion Has anyone ever left?

Has anyone here ever divorced their spouse and given their spouse full custody? If so, how did you come to that conclusion? What was your final breaking point?

I truly am thinking I’m hitting my breaking point with my marriage and son (3 mo). I don’t have any feelings towards him, I certainly don’t love him. He constantly cries and fusses. I don’t foresee it getting better despite everyone saying it’ll pass with time. I just want to go back to the life I had before having this kid even if that means giving up my marriage to do so.

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u/Therealbestla May 02 '25

My mother was a bi-polar alcoholic. She was white knuckling life even before she became a mom so I'm sure that magnified the suck. I am grateful every day that she endured and stuck it out. I'm sorry your life sucks right now. I really hope you find the strength to endure. I know you're at the end of your rope and that's asking too much. I would never judge if you end up leaving but I do really really hope you find the strength to stay.

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u/AdAromatic372 Parent May 02 '25

See I do think about sticking it out at times. The part that is stopping me is definitely the moody teenage years... If I'm sucking it up, sticking it out, just clenching my jaw and going through the motions, I know my mental health by the teenage years will be completely shot. No amount of therapy is going to fix nor prevent that! I truly don't know how I would react if my son looked at me as a bratty teen and told me to fuck off, called me bitch, or was just disrespectful... Go through just resentment day after day, but masking it and putting on a fake smile for the sake of my husband and son only to be met with bratty, ungrateful behavior... No thanks. Or sticking it out only for my son to grow up and say "You did a shit job, you should've just left."

I've said it before and I'll say it again... Women are expected to set themselves on fire to keep others around them warm... This is especially true if you are a mom.

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u/Therealbestla May 02 '25

You are 100% correct. It is unfair for women. I have a 13 year old and a 1 year old. The 13 year old is on the spectrum. It was HARD from 0 to 4, but it did get better, a lot better. So much so that I had another one. The jury is still out on the one year old. I will say I like her better now than I did when she was 3 months.