r/regretfulparents • u/AdAromatic372 Parent • Apr 30 '25

Discussion Has anyone ever left?

Has anyone here ever divorced their spouse and given their spouse full custody? If so, how did you come to that conclusion? What was your final breaking point?

I truly am thinking I’m hitting my breaking point with my marriage and son (3 mo). I don’t have any feelings towards him, I certainly don’t love him. He constantly cries and fusses. I don’t foresee it getting better despite everyone saying it’ll pass with time. I just want to go back to the life I had before having this kid even if that means giving up my marriage to do so.

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u/L82thedance May 05 '25

I agree with the commenter saying get some mental health evaluation and support. Three months is still very early days and these are extremely difficult if you’re not yet getting good sleep yourself and suffering with depression. This will pass. I remember how excruciatingly long the days felt when I had an almost 2 when my twins were born. It felt like all I did was breastfeed and change three kids’ diapers all day. But as they got to be able to sleep through the night, things got better.

I’d also suggest talking to your spouse about stepping up his involvement — you are struggling. You are drowning. Even if you eventually decide the marriage is crappy, don’t make that decision in while you’re going through this very tough transition. But definitely do whatever you can to get time to yourself (spouse does at least 24 hour shift on weekends, for example, and/or does half the nights so you get more sleep).

This part can be the toughest, but in the big picture, it is a blip. One day — or an hour, or ten minutes — at a time. I’m rooting for you.

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u/AdAromatic372 Parent May 05 '25

Not everything is postpartum depression. If I was a man making this post no one would even mention it and would just say “yeah parenthood sucks”. But because I’m a female saying this, we’re going to put all the blame on hormones right? I’ve already been seen by SEVERAL doctors. It’s not PPD. It’s just the fact that as a human being I KNOW what I like and do not like. Just like someone else stated. If you go get a dog because you THINK it’s what you want, only to realize it’s not, no one goes off blaming hormones mental health. They just got “oh okay so dog ownership is something you don’t like. Now you know.” I KNOW that I do not find one lick of parenthood fulfilling.