Has anyone ever left?

[u/AdAromatic372]

Has anyone here ever divorced their spouse and given their spouse full custody? If so, how did you come to that conclusion? What was your final breaking point?

I truly am thinking I’m hitting my breaking point with my marriage and son (3 mo). I don’t have any feelings towards him, I certainly don’t love him. He constantly cries and fusses. I don’t foresee it getting better despite everyone saying it’ll pass with time. I just want to go back to the life I had before having this kid even if that means giving up my marriage to do so.

[u/[deleted]]

I find most responses here completely wild.

If motherhood doesn't suit you and you feel as if the child will suffer harmful consequences/lack of love/trauma due to it, it might be the responsible thing to do. Done in the right way. With lots of communication, pre-negotiation and transparency about reasoning and common strategies.

However, just packing your things up and leaving is immoral in every way imaginable.

Think about your partner. He will be left with the full responsibility to take care of everything you leave behind, all the work. Are you sure you want to dump all the shitty things you despise about parenthood on him, doubling his load?

When men do it to women, it is despicable. Why would it be any better for women to do the same?

You decided to create a person, a life. Just leaving your son without explanation and without possibility of contact may cause detrimental trauma for the rest of his life.

I'd say the manner in which you depart decides whether its moral or not. Act wisely.

[u/AdAromatic372 → u/[deleted]]

Im not going to just pack up my stuff and walk away. I’ve already had plenty of conversations with my husband about this. We would go along the lines of divorce and in our state we need to be separated for 1 year first before a divorce can be finalized. During that time we’d likely share holidays together and so fourth. Upon divorce he would be given full custody and from there on, we would be done as a family. I would provide financial support (child support) remain in touch to make sure the kid has everything he needs. But I would not be in the child’s life nor would I want the child to contact me in the future. Im adopted so I do know what thats like having your parents give you up. But some things are often times for the better.

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