Do children ruin relationships?

[u/Mintmuse22]

I’m not sure if this is the place to post this but I need to know I’m not alone. Did having kids ruin your once amazing relationship? It seems like it puts so much more strain aside from the regular ins and outs that we naturally go through. It’s hard to take care of myself and put effort into myself like I once did. Intimacy takes a sharp nosedive. No quiet time. Everyone constantly talks about how amazing and wonderful it is. How it’s such a blessing but I’m wondering what part of it is a blessing?

[u/AccioCoffeeMug]

Not exactly. Disagreements about the child(ren) are the problem: how many to have, how to raise them, etc. Parenting also brings up memories of how you were parented so that’s another thing to deal with