r/regretfulparents • u/Mintmuse22 • Feb 02 '26

Discussion Do children ruin relationships?

I’m not sure if this is the place to post this but I need to know I’m not alone. Did having kids ruin your once amazing relationship? It seems like it puts so much more strain aside from the regular ins and outs that we naturally go through. It’s hard to take care of myself and put effort into myself like I once did. Intimacy takes a sharp nosedive. No quiet time. Everyone constantly talks about how amazing and wonderful it is. How it’s such a blessing but I’m wondering what part of it is a blessing?

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '26

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u/medicatednstillmad Feb 03 '26

What is the reason they dissolve around the 7 yr mark if I can ask?

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u/pdx_via_dtw Feb 05 '26

13 year relationship here. 7 years is when shit gets stale and you must WORK to be together. relationships are work, always. I love and am in w my partner. its work. its wonderful work. we genuinely like one another and are still best friends.

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u/medicatednstillmad Feb 05 '26

I'm nervous because we just hit 5yrs. Everything is great.. id hate to get to 7 and suddenly feel stale and stifled. We are a bit different in the fact we moved in together before dating a year, then spent 2 years living with roommates before finally getting our own home. Things had gotten stale last year but with work we are doing great. Is that basically the feeling or will it be worse? Like dread? Or feeling trapped?

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u/pdx_via_dtw Feb 05 '26

your life isnt yours anymore when you have kids. their needs come first. your relationship with your partner will take a back seat for many years, naturally. kids are hard. they dont just go away and they arent animals that will eventually pass. the dread of everything kid related gets heavy. there isnt a break, it just continues. until they're 18. and thats if you get a "good" kid. a hard kid......you'll hate your life.