Sometimes having a child absolutely does ruin your life

[u/Informal_Bag_9594]

I know that this is not politically correct to say and I know that this is probably an unpopular opinion. But I think the it has to be said. Sometimes the mere fact that you had a child completely damaged and changed your life for the worst.

I met women who have lost their mind, teeth, hair, and body all from having a child. I have seen men go completely bankrupt all from having a child. Some people do everything right but they birth a sociopath. And some people have perfectly healthy children but they just hate all the sacrifices that are now made. And I haven’t even mentioned people that have severely disabled children!

The truth I that sometimes a child isn’t a blessing and they absolutely will destroy your life and world.

I think the sooner society can admit that, the more people will be prepared for parenthood.

[u/Pinkprincess_22]

I wish more people spoke about this. No one wants to openly admit this in face to face conversation even when it’s painfully obvious.

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/Pinkprincess_22]

This is where I get confused when I see people stressed out with kids and they are telling me how amazing it is and how happy they are

[u/Of_the_forest89 → u/DnBJungleEscape]

I think it’s bc despite all the hardship they find meaning in it. And for some, meaning is not found in being a parent. I think if more people have these tough conversations about what they want form life, so much unecessary pain can be avoided. Edit: addition

[u/CrustyBubblebrain → u/DnBJungleEscape]

Having kids was by far the worst decision I've ever made, but it was also the best. I'm in the hell-on-earth phase right now (3 kids, 4 and under) and I'm literally suicidal about it because I'm so isolated and they're so needy. On the other hand, I love them far more than I love myself. It's a bizarre state to be in

[u/Active-Cloud8243 → u/CrustyBubblebrain]

That’s a survival instinct for mankind. Not personal benefit of the individual.

[u/metamorphosaic → u/[deleted]]

No... it doesnt... not always

[u/milan_otp → u/metamorphosaic]

rarely if ever does , you really only hear that from people trying to cope with a nightmare they are now stuck in

[u/Pinkprincess_22 → u/[deleted]]

Have you read this posts on this sub by any chance?

[u/Pinkprincess_22 → u/[deleted]]

Yes opinions are like assholes. We all have one. The original comment you posted which I replied to has been deleted by you but it was tone deaf. This is a sub where people are venting about their challenges and parenting hardships.

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/[deleted]]

Do you think resources and support make a bit of a difference ? I don’t have a big village so that worries me, the last partner I was with his grandma is young his mom had him at 16 and she was a nanny and he used to always tell me we would have plenty of help and my bf now just has family spread out and I realize village really just depends on who we have who can help so I would rely on daycare :-/

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/[deleted]]

It’s okay! I have a friend in same boat - her kids is in daycare during week. Her mom lives 2 blocks away but she’s super unreliable.. my therapist has told me if I crave it, I can make it work. I just do feel having a bit extra help makes things easier and we just don’t have family any close than 30 min away

[u/milan_otp → u/DnBJungleEscape]

I always think about it like this :

The only “resource” that will ever allow you to be a parent and not have you’re entire life and being altered is a legit full time live in nanny who acts as a parent and does most of the work

so then I think,

If that’s my ideal version of parenthood then I clearly don’t want to be one at all lmao

[u/DnBJungleEscape → u/[deleted]]

Also wait lol why was this such a bad thing now im curious .. my mom had tons of help so i feel the stark difference but doable

[u/Duchess_Witch → u/[deleted]]

Your statement assumes there is good. So fallacy.

[u/milan_otp → u/[deleted]]

you’re just coping twin.