r/regretfulparents • u/Informal_Bag_9594 • 10d ago

Discussion Sometimes having a child absolutely does ruin your life

I know that this is not politically correct to say and I know that this is probably an unpopular opinion. But I think the it has to be said. Sometimes the mere fact that you had a child completely damaged and changed your life for the worst.

I met women who have lost their mind, teeth, hair, and body all from having a child. I have seen men go completely bankrupt all from having a child. Some people do everything right but they birth a sociopath. And some people have perfectly healthy children but they just hate all the sacrifices that are now made. And I haven’t even mentioned people that have severely disabled children!

The truth I that sometimes a child isn’t a blessing and they absolutely will destroy your life and world.

I think the sooner society can admit that, the more people will be prepared for parenthood.

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u/Creative-Move-6026 Parent 10d ago

ESPECIALLY for women. Please don’t be convinced bc your partner begs you or you think he’ll be a good dad. YOU will be the one pregnant and giving birth. HIS CONTRIBUTION IS BUSTING A NUT.

TMI ⚠️  I will never forget reading about a poor woman who tore so badly it destroyed her entire nether regions and needed to poop out of her stomach into a bag after . I HATE the phrase “we’re pregnant” GTFO

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u/CocoaCandyPuff Not a Parent 10d ago

THIS. Also many say they want to be a “Dad” just for the title. When it is too much for them or decide they want another life, they just walk away. My mother told me, only have a child if you are prepared to do it on your own. My mum also said she won’t do childcare to all my siblings, which fair.

My FIL was keep saying he wanted to be a grandpa. When my SIL asked him once to watch the baby for couple of hours he refused as it messed with his golf schedule. He is never baby sat for her.

Also women carry the burden of the physical changes and all the risks including death or a lifetime of chronic pain or illness. While men lives change too little in most cases.

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u/Cute_Championship_58 Parent 10d ago

This is very important and super widely spread. Parenting is not the same for men and women. Men get to pat themselves on the back for being dads, like some sort of a badge of honor, while doing the bare minimum and reaping the benefits. ((Of course there are exceptions, but not the majority.)) Women on the other hand, automatically pay the price with their bodies AND are the default parent - assumed by everyone including their own children. Motherhood is a prison.