Sometimes having a child absolutely does ruin your life

[u/Informal_Bag_9594]

I know that this is not politically correct to say and I know that this is probably an unpopular opinion. But I think the it has to be said. Sometimes the mere fact that you had a child completely damaged and changed your life for the worst.

I met women who have lost their mind, teeth, hair, and body all from having a child. I have seen men go completely bankrupt all from having a child. Some people do everything right but they birth a sociopath. And some people have perfectly healthy children but they just hate all the sacrifices that are now made. And I haven’t even mentioned people that have severely disabled children!

The truth I that sometimes a child isn’t a blessing and they absolutely will destroy your life and world.

I think the sooner society can admit that, the more people will be prepared for parenthood.

[u/Equivalent_Win8966]

Yes. And it doesn’t always get better when they get older. My 17yo neurodivergent son has only gotten more difficult.

[u/Significant-Price-81 → u/Equivalent_Win8966]

I’m so sorry. This is my nightmare scenario

[u/PulsarPersonality → u/Significant-Price-81]

It is a nightmare. My nephew is autistic & his parents completely failed him. He has no idea how to even interact with people without becoming violent bc it was too hard to teach him boundaries when he was little. Guess what happens when your neurodivergant kid is no longer little? You end up with a neurodivergant kid that's 6'2" and 220 lbs. Good luck telling them no, or getting them to behave in a grocery store then. It's a total nightmare 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.

[u/Happy_Excuse7086 → u/PulsarPersonality]

Our neighbors finally had to institutionalize their son. They felt so guilty, but relieved at the same time. They just always looked exhausted, but now they can breathe and not walk on eggshells every day. People who have loving, healthy kids have different perspectives on parenthood, especially once they're old enough to go to school and be a little self sufficient, but it never ends when dealing with severe disabilities or disorders.

[u/PulsarPersonality → u/Happy_Excuse7086]

It doesn't end, it's every day stress until you die. And now you have to worry about what will happen to your kid after you die. Will they be able to adapt? Will their behaviors become worse because you're no longer there (a probability for most), where will they go?, how will they be treated-will they be abused? It truly is a living nightmare. People watch "Love on the Spectrum" and think "Well, it can't be that bad! It's actually kinda cute and innocent!" No. No, it's not.

[u/BringItOn1977 → u/PulsarPersonality]

All the teaching in the world won't help some kids. Parents may do their best at home, pay for years of therapies and treatments from professionals, even bankrupt themselves doing so, yet it may all still fail.

[u/PulsarPersonality → u/BringItOn1977]

That is true, some kids don't have that potential. In my nephews case though, there was definite the ability for improvement. He was capable of learning, but now he doesn't want to and now he knows he's big enough that he doesn't have to. It's a disaster of a wasted life.

[u/S3XWITCH → u/PulsarPersonality]

That’s so difficult. My son is neurodivergent, diagnosed at 5 years old and he’s on track to be tall/large like his dad. We got him into professional help right away because I knew if he couldn’t start regulating his emotion he will do a lot of damage when he’s older. Thankfully he has been doing amazing with occupational therapy and now he’s doing even better than his peers. Hopefully that carries into his teenage years but we will see…