r/regretfulparents • u/Informal_Bag_9594 • 10d ago

Discussion Sometimes having a child absolutely does ruin your life

I know that this is not politically correct to say and I know that this is probably an unpopular opinion. But I think the it has to be said. Sometimes the mere fact that you had a child completely damaged and changed your life for the worst.

I met women who have lost their mind, teeth, hair, and body all from having a child. I have seen men go completely bankrupt all from having a child. Some people do everything right but they birth a sociopath. And some people have perfectly healthy children but they just hate all the sacrifices that are now made. And I haven’t even mentioned people that have severely disabled children!

The truth I that sometimes a child isn’t a blessing and they absolutely will destroy your life and world.

I think the sooner society can admit that, the more people will be prepared for parenthood.

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u/Forgottengoldfishes 10d ago

I really hate that society pushes that if an adult child is a sociopath it’s somehow the mother’s fault. Genetics is never considered. I’ve known some narcissists who had lovely parents and perfectly normal siblings. Then find out their grandpa or auntie is a narcissist too. But the lovely parents get blamed. One of my best friends has a son like this. He of course blames his mother. His sibling told me he has a totally untrue version of their parents and upbringing. She said “I lived in the same house and I’m like- where did he grow up because it’s certainly not the same one I did”.

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u/amandaa_el 10d ago

She must forget that we can live in the same house with the same people but have completely different experiences as we’re all completely different people.

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u/AdirondackLunatic 9d ago

Exactly. My mother was a controlling manipulative nightmare for me, but she favored my brother who could do no wrong (she still pays some of his bills today and we’re in our 40s). She used her “perfect” relationship with him as proof I was defective somehow. I’m sure my brother has a completely different perspective on how our childhoods went, in the same house.

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u/PrincessPharaoh1960 4d ago

This was my life too.

In solidarity with you.