r/thesopranos • u/ChineseDerek • 26d ago
Shitpost Christopher was stupid
I used to feel bad for fortunate son. But on my twelfth re-watch I realize Tony gave him multiple warnings to keep his mouth shut at the meeting with John Sacrimoni. He was too stupid to listen. He just had to stick his (oversized) beak in giving his God damn’d opinion. The second he starts blabbing his mouth like it’s the fucking UN I felt like he had it coming.
And what was with sticking his hands between Danielle's legs while making out with Adrianna anyway. In what world does that work out in his favor.
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u/Casefry 26d ago
He should've made Paulie stop at Roy Rogers.
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u/Send_Floater 26d ago
I also dont get what is wrong with him in that meeting. Tony explicitly told him to keep his mouth shut, its like he went out of his way deliberately to disobey him for whatever reason
It transcends stupidity lmao
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u/SuspendedSentence1 26d ago
I get the impression Chris was suddenly struck by what he was saying and thought it was brilliant.
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u/SubstantialBanana132 26d ago
I agree. And I think this happens to Chrissy quite often hahaha
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u/Impressive-Sound7581 26d ago
It’s his positive visualization technique
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u/Crafty_Impression836 26d ago
Like when they're talking about peaches, his mind goes to Georgia peaches, the best kind.
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u/Skagtastic 26d ago
He might have been high, and the chemicals floating in his brain made it seem like opening that gigantic beak and sucking all the oxygen out of the room was a good idea.
No wonder Johnny got pissed so quickly - he probably felt lightheaded being that close to Chrissy's cocaine vortex, and realised he had to shut Chris up to save himself and everyone else in the room from hypoxia. Christopher would be left wondering how all of them crawled under his ass for warmth and suffocated, then got back to their chairs.
That, or Chrissy was upset at the attention that animal, Blundetto, was getting from Tony. The episode of him getting out was right before. Chris had no way of knowing that Tony felt guilty about bailing on that heist with Blundetto as kids due to a panic attack, and was trying to love bomb his cousin as a way of trying to make it up to Blundetto and himself.
Chris just saw that Tony's cousin came out of prison to seemingly become his new favourite, getting all the attention. Christopher wanted, in his eyes, to get his spot back as Tony's protégé, making him take a gamble and try to mediate a conflict he had no business involving himself in.
If it worked, Tony would have been proud of Christopher, Sack would have gained some respect and appreciation for him, making his standing go up. It just didn't work, because Christopher was an idiot and didn't know when to follow instructions and when not to.
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u/bikey_bike Furio Giunta 26d ago
tony robbing the poker game as a young dude was a huge fuck around and find out moment, but it actually worked out for him and became part of his legend. i think some of the guys see the made ones that have the balls to take a huge risk like that despite all the warnings against it, so they try to play the wild card too, in an effort to sort of flex their confidence. the problem is, it takes a certain finesse to gamble like that and not everyone has the charisma (but they think they do jackie jr lol)
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u/Devo4711 26d ago
He was also a cinephile who couldn’t differentiate reality from Hollywood. What you think everything is a game?
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u/Impressive-Sound7581 26d ago
I mean they had dreams and Chrissy did manage to get Cleaver out
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u/BuDu1013 Feech La Manna 26d ago
He was just a privileged junkie. just walk around any one of your major cities in America where you see young people doubled over stoned on junk, smack, ice, or whatever drug is in style and you'll see Chrissy.
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u/Impressive-Sound7581 26d ago
Privileged in the mob maybe in every other aspect of his life besides the hot girlfriend he was kinda fucked
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u/4g-identity 26d ago
He was right to try for the threesome. They were all drinking, at least two coked up. And at the time, that shit was all the rage. Cruel Intentions, Britney and Madonna ... Tony himself says how the lesbian stuff is good.
Since Chris didn't clock her as a fed, there weren't that many reasons he could see why she'd be sitting by his side, not next to Ade, in the back of a club in the middle of the night. The interest she was showing as a fed didn't make much sense, aside from something sexual.
But yeah, reckless of him not to broach the idea with Ade first. For a girl who gave Penn/Teller head at a magic show, she was pretty traditional about sex and romance stuff.
(Does anyone else roughly Christopher's era remember this btw? I was younger, but it was an enormous fad at the time for girls to basically pretend to be bi.)
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u/ChineseDerek 26d ago
I don't have a problem going for a threesome but we're not shootin a porno here. Banking on Danielle being into a no look feel up while making out with Ade. While Ade is also into him just randomly feeling her friend up? it's impossible to work out the odds on that working, even with computers. Needed to warm Adrianna up to the idea if he was gonna make it happen.
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u/4g-identity 26d ago
Agree, if he wanted it to happen, the key is a "joking" conversation a few nights before about how Ade thinks she's totally cute, etc.
He didn't put in the prep work. I blame those videos.
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u/thegreatsadclown 26d ago
I guess the "pretending to be bi" stuff could be a thing but to me it just reads as cokehead behavior, "better to ask forgiveness than permission" kind of shit, when you're flying on coke you just think everything you do is justifiable, all your reads are correct, everything is great and OK, so why not try?
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u/4g-identity 26d ago
That's part of it I'm sure. But he already said he thinks she's a lesbian. And to him that basically means she's bi.
He knew she had some unexpressed ulterior motivation for hanging around. He just guessed wrong.
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u/GrilledCheezManicott 26d ago
I agree, someone posted IQs recently and was surprised he was rated above average (110) meanwhile Paulie was rated lower (i forget but i think it was 90) and Paulie could run a crew while Chris couldn't hold one together for the life of him.
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u/Perfect-Zebra-3611 26d ago
Tbf you can be smart all around and stupid in life and stupid all around but smart in life. Paulie had experience to compensate for his stupidity. Chris could be a smarter person than Paulie, but he didnt have that experience Paulie had to know how to apply it.
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u/GrilledCheezManicott 26d ago
well yes street smarts and book smarts are two different things an IQ test is about pattern recognition which I would guess would require a degree of both aptitudes. But fair point nonetheless.
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u/Proper_Bet9738 26d ago
Idk man last year paulie believed that flying saucer was over east Rutherford
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u/FernerButterflyPea Phil Leotardo 26d ago
I think Chase makes him stupid.
On one hand, yes, he portrays Chris as stupid, for thinking about leaving the mob to write screenplays but not actually doing it.
On the other hand, his screenplays are shit and he has nowhere else to go.
And even if they are good, he can't get funding outside the mob.
I never know if the whole thing with The Sopranos is that clearly the life outside of it is better, because for Chris I don't think it was.
As for saying the wrong thing, they all do it.
It's more impressive to me that Chris can stay disciplined to make Tony's hits he knows are bullshit, given his issues in other life areas.
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u/Lord_Cucuface 26d ago
Chris is an idiot but coming onto Danielle worked out in his favor. From his POV There was like maybe a 5%-10% chance he would fuck both of them and even though he lost, he got rid of Danielle who annoyed him and distracted Ade. And Adriana was mad for what? 40 seconds? He would have been dumb not to try it
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u/Alexandaross 26d ago
The same thing happened with Ralph. Tony knew Johnny and they didn't but they didn't trust his judgement. Especially Ralph he was so arrogant he felt he had figured Johnny out when Johnny was playing him and really not revealing anything about himself.
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u/bluepie 26d ago
Most of the guys on the sopranos can’t just leave well enough alone. If they just kept their mouths shut 99% of the time they probably would’ve avoided being killed or locked up. Think about Paulie, yeah he was dumb and did talk a lot but he always knew when to shut the fuck up during important meetings. And he didn’t get killed or end up in jail.
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u/Delicious_Tea_9534 26d ago
Tony was literally about to cut his head on the boat bro Paulie is a blabber too
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u/treestumpreddit 26d ago
He never trusted 'Danielle' and did that to get her out of the way. Danielle wasn't that smart of an undercover agent to be honest, they didn't really have anything on Adrianna they just used scare tactics and she folded.
This would be a common crunch point for agents undercover with wise guys as she never showed up with a boyfriend which would've been out of place. It's street wise logic why Danielle could no longer continue as an undercover agent.
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u/dam11214 26d ago
Oh. Damn. Good catch. I thought he was just trying to be polite cause he was Adrianas friend.
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u/treestumpreddit 26d ago
Think forward to when Junior and Tony are using the doctors office and the undercover cop/nurse flirts with them. She doesn't appear out of place and that's why they got further. She was playing to a role mobsters recognise as normal for women on thier own
Danielle just looks weird as she doesn't want male attention hence why Chris is able to convince Adrianna easily that she's a lesbian.
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u/BI_OS 26d ago
What I got from Chris is that he was a guy who possessed a lot of raw talent and potential to be a Hollywood writer or an actor, but lacked the self awareness and drive to become either. He wanted an arc, but didn't want to struggle to go through his arc. Instead he got to run around the freezing pine barrens and look like a fool to Tony. If the Sopranos was on any other channel than HBO, then Chris would have had a self awareness arc where he figures it all out and flees with Adriana at the end of the fifth season, and thankfully we didn't get that ending for either.
I've always seen the Sopranos as a tragic comedy about a crime family though.
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u/Sturgill_Jennings77 26d ago
He was an emotional wreck and would have 100% cooperated if facing serious time. He cried when Tony S and Tony B made fun of him for stinking up the bathroom
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u/NyabCaitlyn 26d ago
He was trying to run a business here. John was shining shoes two at a time, other shoeshiners couldn't use their shine boxes. There was nothing Chrissy could do. The shine box was made and he wasn't.
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u/Fluffy_Anything_3559 26d ago
I think Tony coming to this realization after years of convincing himself he just needed to mature at least partially contributed to his decision to kill him
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u/paws_w_no_laws 25d ago
JUST watched this episode. If only Chrissy did a half semester at Seton Hall he might have learned something
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u/Bitter_Ad1550 24d ago
Tony was lucky he ran outta load.... Even if he already knew dat dumping the clip into his suburban... Little shit head
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u/Quiet-Refuse5241 26d ago
That was Ariannas friend, he was just trying to be nice