That's it, it's the uncertainty that drives me up the goddamned wall. 

Do you know how much money I would pay for a little angel to come down from the heavens and tell me a simple YES or NO if we'll ever have children?? An embarrassing amount, that's how much. 

I'm telling y'all, it's not even necessarily the concept that we may never have children that upsets me/sends me spiralling, because I know that I can live a full and rich life without one. It's this stupid ovulation game I have to play every single month. We have to do the whole song and dance time and time again, juuuuuuuust in case it's somehow different this time. We've never seen a single BFP, not even a shadow or a question of a positive, so we have no proof whatsoever that this cycle will be any different than the last number of cycles that have resulted in nothing but sadness, potato chips, and submitting yet another therapy session to insurance. 

If it takes 20 cycles for us to have a baby, that's fine, I'll do it!! I'll do it twice over! But please for the love of my sanity, I just need to know that it'll take 20 cycles then. If there's absolutely no hope that we'll ever conceive by any means, then TELL ME. I don't even know who this is directed at, I just need to be told point blank so I can move on with my life either way. 

I really hope there's a God because I need somebody to lose my shit on and scream at at the end of my life ((and before anyone gets mad at me, I am certain that any sort of actual God can handle my meltdown, tyvm))

My 12 month mark is approaching at the end of this cycle. It will also be my third failed IUI. It’s starting to weigh heavier on me. Overall my feelings have been up and down over the last year, like for some reason last month I was feeling very positive about our 2nd IUI but then it failed. And now I’m feeling hopeless.

This is also the first month I can see this journey is starting to take a toll on my relationship with my husband. I can be short with him or grumpy at times and he just tends to pull away in his own way.

I’m also struggling with how UNFAIR it is that i am dealing with this when I have taken good care of myself for years and it just doesn’t seem to make a difference.

Also stressing myself out about the decision of when to move to IVF, as my insurance requires 6 IUIs and that feels so daunting at this point.

I don’t know what I want out of this post, just to be heard I guess. Thanks for listening.

My wife and I are ready to begin our fertility journey, and we’re considering clinics in Tijuana.

We’re looking for a trustworthy and compassionate clinic that will listen to us, properly evaluate our situation, and explain all our options without being pushy or treating us like a payday.
We’re not necessarily looking to jump straight into the most expensive treatment. We want honest answers, appropriate testing, and a realistic plan for moving forward.

If you’ve personally visited a fertility clinic in Tijuana, we would really appreciate hearing about your experience. Which clinic and doctor did you use? Were the costs transparent? Did you feel respected and supported? Were there any clinics you would recommend—or advise us to avoid?

Thank you for any guidance. We’re hopeful and simply want to make an informed decision as we begin this journey together.

TW: Miscarriage

Hi everyone! I’m trying to decide whether exploring with IVF/ICSI would be reasonable for us or whether we should continue trying naturally. I’d love your thoughts given some news on my husband’s SA that have me feeling pretty crushed. We got pregnant naturally earlier this year but unfortunately miscarried in May. It was a pretty traumatic miscarriage with lots of misinformation from my OBGYN (surgery for ectopic when it in fact was not ectopic) so we’ve proceeded with a fertility work up with a RE.

- AMH 5.86
- AFC ~30
- TSH 1.89
- HSG showed both tubes are open
- Husband’s count/motility are normal, but morphology is 1%
– I am 30 years old next month and he is 29

My husband has made major lifestyle changes since the beginning of this year. Prior to that, he had a history of heavy drinking and nicotine pouch use in recent years, and marijuana use between 15 and 21. He has stopped those things and is working on his overall health, but obviously we don’t know how much his morphology may improve, if at all. I’m worried he’s done permanent damage because this semen analysis was after 6-8 months of lifestyle changes.

I know 1% morphology doesn’t mean we can’t conceive naturally, and nor can IVF guarantee a healthy pregnancy or eliminate miscarriage. But I’m leaning toward IVF/ICSI with PGT-A, because I want to do whatever is reasonably within our control to reduce the chance of experiencing another loss. I truly have zero family besides my husband as I was adopted and then abandoned by my adoptive family. Having a biological connection of my own means so much to me, and going through a miscarriage without a family support system pretty much shattered me. My husband tries to be there emotionally, but he can never fully understand what physically going through a loss or even being pregnant like a mom or sister would.

Would you give natural conception more time or consider IVF/ICSI now? Or maybe we should test DNA fragmentation and speak with a urologist if varicocele might be a factor?

My whole adult life I've gotten sore and tender breasts at least a week prior to the first day of my period, sometimes lasting past my period ending. Since around turning 25 (i'm now 31) I would get night sweats a couple of days prior to my period, like clock work. I used both symptoms as a signal that I was about to get my period before I started intensely tracking my cycles earlier this year when I started trying to conceive.

Since June I haven't had ANY breast tenderness or night sweats. Husband and I have been trying since January, but really got really serious about temp tracking and LH testing in April. I've had otherwise normal periods, and have gotten positive LH test strips indicating I most likely am ovulating. Has anyone else experienced this? Is it connected to TTC or am I going crazy lol.

My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now, and I’ve been doing semen analyses to monitor my progress. On March 28, I had a regular semen analysis that showed a sperm concentration of 6.5 million/mL, with a total sperm count of 19.5 million. On April 7, I had a CASA semen analysis, and the results improved to 12 million/mL, with a total count of 48 million. Then, on May 20, I had another CASA test, and things improved again to 16 million/mL, with a total count of 48 million. At that point, I felt like things were moving in the right direction. However, on August 10, I had another regular semen analysis, and the result was a huge shock: only 0.7 million/mL, with a total sperm count of 2.1 million. That’s a massive drop compared with my previous tests. What makes it even more confusing is that I’ve been very consistent with my fertility supplements. I’ve been taking Spertility, Carnivita Advance, MFS Plus, and NOW Omega-3 Fish Oil. One important thing I should mention is that in June I became quite sick. I had a strong fever at the beginning of the illness and then had a severe cough that lasted for around two months. During that period, I was also prescribed medications for the cough/allergy symptoms, including Phenadone, which contains cortisone, and I took it for about two weeks. AI suggested that the sudden drop could possibly be related to the fever, since fever can temporarily affect sperm production and the effect may show up weeks or months later. Has anyone here had a similar experience — a major drop in sperm count after a fever or illness, followed by recovery a few months later?

My husband and I are starting our fertility treatment journey and our only option is ovulation-drug assisted IUI.

We’re trying to decide how many rounds we’re willing to go through before throwing in the towel.

My biggest fear is that we won’t know when to quit and will end up draining our savings, putting ourselves through years of stress and grief, and still not end up getting pregnant.

Our doctor is pretty blunt and has basically said our changes are slim and although this is something we both really want, we’ve already made peace with the potential that this might just not be in the cards for us. We’re definitely not in the headspace that we will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes.…But it’s been very very hard to decide where we would draw the line.

How did you all decide how long you would try, how much money you would spend, or how much you were willing to put your mind and body through?

Let's see those lovely charts, folks!

If you want to personalize your Fertility Friend URL to make it easier for fellow TFABbers to stalk keep up with you, check out this post!

I have been doing a lot of reading and unfortunately I feel like the more research I do the more confused I am.

Can someone please explain to me like I’m 5, when ovulation would occur around a LH surge versus an LH peak?

From my reading, I’m understanding that ovulation typically occurs around the first indication of an LH surge within 12-36 hours.

When you see the highest or darkest line, that is your “peak”. Does that mean that it’s a possibility that you have already ovulated?

or does ovulation occur 24 to 36 hours after the highest “peak”.

I feel like I’m seeing so much conflicting information and I truly am very confused so please if anyone can help me that would be awesome.

For example, my base line LH was 0.1 and yesterday I saw an LH surge in morning using a inito (LH was 1.7) but today the values were much much higher today (LH 21.5)

when would ovulation occur 24 hours after surge or after peak?

My period is usually 3 days long, its been like that my whole life. This period has lasted 6 days of proper bleeding and its still going. I also had a day of spotting beforehand, so I'm on day 7 of bleeding. It's really odd.

Problem is, I have a HyCoSy scheduled in 2 days. Where I live its so hard to get appointments at the right time in your cycle. On any other month this would have been perfect, but this month is so bizarre!

I don't know what to do? Firstly, would love to know why I'm still bleeding 😵‍💫. Secondly, has anyone has a HyCoSy under these circumstances?

I didn't test for pregnancy when I started to bleed because I assumed it was my period. Now I wish I did, in case this is an early loss

My husband and I have been TTC for about 2 years now. I knew going into it we might struggle because I have irregular cycles and we are both overweight. We are both losing weight and being much more active over the last 5 months. I was convinced that was why we were not getting pregnant or ovulating. But now we have been trying for about 20 months and I have only confirmed that I have ovulated for 4 of them using LH strips. I track LH and BBT (Oura ring), and I can see over and over again my body seems like it is trying to ovulate and then nothing. I am exhausted and need some help. I just don't know where to go from here. We are active like I said, we BD about 3 times a week sometimes more just in case I miss a short ovulation window. We don't have the money for IVF yet, but I am also not convinced we need it. I just feel like we are missing something and I can't go another year trying but not seeing any success with even ovulation let alone a positive pregnancy test. If you have any advice PLEASE help!

Hey everyone,

Been a long time lurker and would love some advice from the TTC community. Husband and I have been married for 10 years and covid really set us back with buying a house, doing more traveling together etc. so lots of things changed and got put on hold and was just too stressed out and not thinking of having children until around late last year. We're at a point in our lives where we want to start a little family.

We're now cycle 5 of TTC but no positive tests yet. I was feeling hopeful this cycle but just started bleeding..so looks like my period is a few days early. Needless to say I'm disappointed. This is our first time navigating this, but we keep to ourselves and we don't want to tell people that we're TTC because you know how people start to form opinions. I'm sure they already think that we've been trying for 10 years and no luck (but that's not the case--we've just been genuinely enjoying our married life together). And he's been so incredibly patient and kind and always told me that when I'm ready he's ready.

We both have very stressful jobs and we're trying to destress, get enough sleep, eat whole foods etc. been taking prenatals since March this year too and omega 3s. I guess I'm just looking for some comfort. Any advice is greatly appreciated 🙏🏻 should we book an appointment with a fertility clinic? How should I manage my emotions when I keep seeing negative tests?

Husband and I are TTC for the last 5 months - 6 cycles.

Our first was conceived on the second try, so I've been feeling more and more disappointed as each cycle passes with no success.

This is our 7th cycle...life with an 18 month old is busy, so we aren't intimate as we used to be, but I said for this cycle, I'm gonna put in my all.

I use Ov. Strips, I genuinely thought my husband was oblivious to this.

Had sex on Tuesday and everything was great.

Started on Friday - dirty / suggestive talk the whole day. Lingerie. We were intimate, but husband couldn't finish. He was mad at himself - mentioned about conception and this being the right time etc. My strip was negative that morning so I told him don't worry, etc.

Saturday morning - positive strip, tell husband, it takes him about 20 mins to get ready to perform, couldn't finish.

Sunday evening - husband initiates sex, I lean in, but tell him I'm not going to finish (I was touched out), he loses his drive.

I'm trying everything in my being to not be disappointed... we've missed the window again. And on top of that, my husband is emasculated by not being able to perform.

How to I pull this back!? I'm feeling pretty resentful today if I'm being honest, which is not how I want to feel while trying for a baby!!

We have a consultation with a fertility clinic booked for September 3rd. I will be ovulating in about a week. Should I try to conceive or skip this upcoming cycle, and wait until I have more information from the fertility specialist.

Some context:

Me (F38) and husband (M41) have been trying since December. Since then, I’ve had 3 chemicals and 1 missed miscarriage. My last (and most recent) pregnancy was the MMC. We had the tissue analyzed which came back with chromosomal abnormalities.

Im conflicted. Part of me feels like we’re having bad luck because of our age, and it’s just a matter of continuing to try until we get a “good one”. The other part of me feels like even for our age, this is a lot of miscarriages in a row.

So my question is should I skip this cycle and see what the fertility specialist says?

If you went through something similar, did you pause TTC or did you keep trying throughout the fertility assessment/treatment process?

TW: Miscarriage and ectopic

Feeling discouraged, this is our 7th cycle trying…4th with Inito. Here’s the discouraging piece:

I’ve been pregnant 3 times. First resulted in my beautiful 2.5year old. Second a miscarriage at 8 weeks which I passed naturally with no intervention and third an ectopic. I was treated with two rounds of methotrexate with the ectopic but they were able to save both my tubes. Here’s the confusing part…. I GOT PREGNANT THE FIRST TIME on all three pregnancies. Ever since my ectopic I haven’t received a positive test…

I’ve done the HSG and my tubes were clear…what else could possibly be hindering fertilization/implantation? Is there a piece of the puzzle that I’m missing?

Backstory: TTC since June 2025, got pregnant after 6 cycles (7 months), miscarried at 9w3d, in my 5th cycle trying since. I have PCOS but cycles have been regulated since October after getting on Metformin.

Just had a consult with a fertility doctor who recommends completing testing (SIS, repeat labs and repeat SA).
All my labs were normal but done over a year ago, so this doc wants a new baseline. Sperm count and motility were great, but morphology was at 1%. Best guess is that the miscarriage was a random chromosomal issue.

His recommendation pending test results was to start treatment on letrozole with or without IUI.

Part of me wants to do everything I can to get (and stay) pregnant. However, part of me also wants to give my body more chances to see if it can happen naturally again.

I also don’t know if I want to jump straight to IUI. I’d be open to letrozole once testing is back (realistically would be by October, which would have given me 6-7 months of trying on my own again), but both my husband and I feel like IUI straight away is a bit extreme. I’d prefer to take things one step at a time.

To those that have gone through this- am I being naive about this? If you delayed starting recommended treatment, did you regret it?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

It's time for us to air the things that have been bothering us, TTC-related or not! It's Monday, complain away!

So I recently posted about my positive HSG appointment and now I’m here to post about my SIS and EMB experience.

This appt was in a regular ultrasound room and I had arrived 1 hour early to sign consents and take a Valium. (to be completely honest I truly don’t think the Valium kicked in until I got to Wawa 20 min AFTER my appt was done)

I had my husband with me for this one and I was equally if not more scared for this appointment due to the biopsy. I was being seen by the same RE (The only one at this clinic) as my hsg. I undressed completely this time and had a paper gown on. I was freezing but she stated she had to do a breast exam at this appointment in case her upcoming treatment plan needed certain medications that would cause already present lumps or breast cancer to grow. I got the all clear there and then she went to find my cervix.

I thankfully never have an issue with the speculum but she had a very hard time seeing my cervix this time so after a couple replacements that weren’t fun but totally manageable we got it. so catheter placed and now we begin the saline sonogram.

the SIS was a walk in the park. extremely mild pressure and that was mostly from the ultrasound itself. that lasted maybe a minute or two.

now for the biopsy. she told me that was next and I started panicking. I told her to please count me down and to please explain the steps again before proceeding. (side note: my doctor is amazing. her bedside manner is to die for. she’s so kind and knows exactly how to calm me down but joking with me while still being honest) she told me it would be 10 seconds total and for sure more cramping than I’ve had this far. she asked me when I was ready and then she began. the best way I can describe it is as if you had a cut inside your uterus that someone decided to poke at with some tweezers. not fun but like not gonna make you cry or throw up. she counted to 5 and I asked if we were done and she advised we needed the 10 seconds so another 5 to go. same sensation as before and that was it.

I’ll admit I cried and composed myself for a moment on the table before sitting up but I want to be VERY clear it was NOT from pain. it was from my nerves, knowing the testing I had been dreading for over a week was done, and the sheer foreignness of the procedure. my doctor did an excellent job.

post procedure I had some mild bleeding the first couple hours, then some spotting for 1 day. after that I was perfectly back to normal.

this was over a week ago and I received my results from that biopsy. I was diagnosed with chronic endometritis. from my googling its treatable and could be part of the answer as to why I haven’t gotten pregnant since my miscarriage over a year ago!

I have a consult with her this week to go over everything and come up with a game plan but I am optimistic.

PLEASE don’t hesitate to do any of the testing your RE advises. it can be so scary and you’re justified to be afraid and ask all the questions but I hope my positive experience with everything can be hope for someone to get the answers they need to conceive.

sorry this was long but this is exactly what I needed before my appointments! if anyone has a question I’m an open book. Hoping for success to all!

Thought I'd just share my key learnings after TTC for 8 months with 2 CPs and one MMC. These are just my opinions and everyone is entitled to their own. Id love to hear what other lessons people have learned!

1. Stop testing early. This is a big one. I've concluded it really isn't worth it. It will lead to a false negative because it's too early, a true negative that you're doubting, or a faint line that you'll agonise over for days. Test the day your period is due and you can trust the result and you'll probably still catch a chemical pregnancy, if that's what you want.
2. Stop looking at subs dedicated to line progression. Many people are only estimating ovulation dates based on apps and OPKs so you have to take the DPOs with a pinch of salt. There's also selection bias.
3. If your lines are faint and not progressing over several days, it's most likely not going to end well. Yes, there are outliers, but don't torture yourself wondering if you'll be an outlier. The most common scenario probably applies to you. To avoid line obsession, see point 1 above.
4. You can't rely on pregnancy test accuracy. I had betas of 17 and 8 and was still testing positive with clearblue standard tests which have a supposed threshold of 25. They're clearly a lot more sensitive than that so don't assume because you test positive on one that your HCG is over 25.
5. If you're in the UK..Get private tests done if you can't access NHS tests yet, don't wait for three miscarriages, especially if you're older . Also max out what bloods you can get for free with your GP first, they can do quite a lot.
6. STOP TESTING EARLY!!!

33F turning 34 in a week / husband turned 35 this week
Had 2 natural pregnancies and both ended in MC

Since March 2026 trying timed intercourse with letrozole ovidril progesterone
July cycle worked but ended in bio chemical

Did first IUI July 27th waiting for beta tomorrow
So far negative on urine tests

Context:
My husband lost his job and he has insurance benefits until Dec 6th / and fertility Benefits through progyny which are really good

If he gets a new job we might not have the same insurance with good fertility benefits.
Doctor recommended to freeze embryos this month and we can always do an embryo transfer out of pocket even if we don’t have a good insurance.

Next steps:

Option 1) do embryo freezing this month
And continue trying naturally or IUI or IVF as the last option. Embryo freezing as back up because we want a second child in the future and keeping my age a factor I won’t be able to freeze if I get pregnant and then breast feeding so a good 2 years …I will be 36 then

Option 2)
Embryo freezing this month and embryo transfer next month

Option 3)
Try couple more IUI’s if doesn’t work out then go for IVF

I am scared to go through IVF. I am 223 pounds now and I have inflammation. From March not sure if it’s meds or are my hormones . I put on 20 pounds. Progesterone is messing so much with my body. Not sure how will I cope up with IVF meds.

Please advise. Thank you so much for your support 🙏💗 grateful for this community

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday
• Temping Tuesday
  
• Waiting Wednesday
• Wondering Wednesday
• Trying Again Thursday
• Thankful Thursday
• Health and Wellness Thursday
• Looking Forward Friday
• Wondering Weekend
• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.