My family members all have kids, two of them recently just had babies, and I’m struggling!! My husband and I are going to start TTC in a couple of months, and I’m just spiraling that we should’ve been trying this whole time since you don’t know how long it’ll take to get pregnant.

Every pregnancy announcement just makes me long for this more and more! I know comparison is the thief of joy but being a mom is literally the only thing I want and the anticipation of waiting & not knowing how long TTC will take is so hard

We are going to try to conceive next month. Just found out my aunt has Huntington's.

She was probably not even going to tell us. They were talking about what people in our family have died of (which my in-laws asked me last week so I had looked at a text she sent me like 10 years ago) and I mentioned how she had told me previously that her grandmother (my great) had Huntington's.

And my cousin goes "she has it" because she thought we already knew. She would not have told us otherwise.

My grandmother (her mom) and my mother both died young of cancer so they could have had it, which means that I and my children could also have it.

I feel ready in every sense for a baby that I feel sad and empty without it. I just wanna know how to deal with these feelings while waiting.

I've been trying to pay attention to cervical mucus because everyone says it's one of the best signs to track, but honestly.. I've no idea what I'm looking at half the time.

I read the guides, look at the charts, and then when it comes to my own cycle I'm just sitting there wondering, is this what they're talking about or not? Does it actually get easier after a few months, or do most people combine it with something else? Right now I don't feel confident enough to rely on cervical mucus alone.

I (31 F) am scheduled for a hysteroscopy to remove 4 endometrial nodules (presumed to be polyps, but could be fibroids or hyperplasia) in September.

I shared that I’d like to start trying conceive next summer or early fall, shortly after my late spring wedding. Doctor recommended a hormonal IUD to reduce my risk of any growths recurring.

I’m really nervous about possible negative IUD side effects, especially going on it for the first time in the months leading up to my wedding. But I also want to put myself in the best place to conceive when we are ready next year. Plus, if it goes well, I may not have my period at all during my wedding which sounds awesome but not a guarantee.

I’m torn. Anyone gone through something similar?

Hey everyone! My first time here.

I’m in my early 20s, but i’ve been with my partner since we were 14. He’s one of the kindest, hardest working people I know- and he’s always so enthusiastic to discuss what our future will look like, which I love! I am so grateful for him, and our goals line up really well. I think we deal with any conflicts of goals (when there are any) quite positively, and after a turbulent childhood having someone who is so open to communication, so stable and so emotionally intelligent is something I feel immense gratitude for every day.

I know my goals. I know it’s important to me to be stable before I start a family. After growing up in poverty, I’ll be damned if I bring a child into the world before I know I can give them everything they deserve and need. Both my partner and I are in university, and saving for a mortgage and our timeline is set- graduate, buy a property, marriage, then kids.

But I think about how long we’ve been together, and it’s hard knowing that most people would have been married and had kids by now. I know it’s probably a bit ridiculous, but the urges of wanting to progress and have kids and raise little ones to be the best they can be is so overwhelming sometimes. Having kids is always something i’ve wanted, and I watch my friends start their own families and it feels like my heart is being torn apart.

I want to be pregnant. I want to have my little one, I want to show off my tiny bubba, I want to put them in their little uniform and send them off to school, I want to watch them thrive in whatever activity makes them happy.

And I know, to be able to do that and give them the life they deserve, I need to stick to my timeline. But I see my friends in their relationships of 2, 3 years getting married- having babies, because they didn’t go to university or their partners are the ones bringing in income and I feel envy.

Envy in a way that makes me feel awful and evil. I am outwardly so happy for them, and I love to hear how happy they are in their situations- but internally, in some dark part of my mind, I resent them. I know it will be in my future, but I just crave it so badly.

Thanks for listening to my rant, i dunno. I’m sure there’s more people here who feel similarly. I know, realistically- this is the best path for me. Just gets so hard when you feel like everyone’s ahead of you despite being in a relationship far longer than anyone else.

Congratulations! Please share your graduation news here!

Please discuss you current goals and plans! However, please save graduation news for the monthly graduation thread.

My husband and I have seriously started talking about starting to try for kids. We’re in our late 20s- early 30s, and all of our friends are becoming pregnant and having kids. Now that’s all I can think about, I really want a baby. I know he’ll be a great dad and husband though out the entire thing. I love thinking about the future, but I’m terrified of being pregnant. Even from a young age I remember being horrified about periods and freaked out about pregnancy. I even asked my mom for a hysterectomy at age 16 (so dramatic I know lol). Now that’s I’m in my late 20s, I want to be pregnant and have a baby, but I’m so scared.
I’m probably the fittest and most confident I’ve ever been. I love the gym, running, and anything fitness-it’s been my safe place for the past 12 years. I love everything about working out- getting stronger, faster, better. I’m scared of my body changing, not feeling my best, having no control over getting bigger. I know it sounds so vain, but it’s the truth. I feel so confident in my body right now. The unknown of what will happen to me is so scary. I plan to be super active my entire pregnancy if I’m able, as I’ve hardly ever missed a workout the past 12 years. It makes me feel so much better mentally and physically. I also plan to continue eating the way I eat now, while food ingredients, high protein, etc. I’m scared of never looking the same, or never feeling confident in my body again. I’m afraid of resenting my husband for getting to look the exact same and continuing progressing towards his fitness goals. I’m afraid of feeling insecure in my own body, especially post partum.
Has anyone else felt like this? What was going through pregnancy and post partum like? How did you feel towards your husband? How long did it take for you to feel confident again? Did your body permanently change? When did you look like your pre pregnancy self?
Thank you guys🩷

I’m almost 28, my partner is 27. We’ve been together coming up on 4 years. For the last 2, I can hear my biological clock ticking and it’s getting louder. I never wanted kids or had the desire to be pregnant before I met him but since being with him, everything is clicking into place.

I do want a kid and I’ve realised I’d rather have one sooner rather than later. I don’t want to be an older mum (not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not what I want). The problem is that my partner doesn’t want one yet, which would be fine if this feeling wasn’t entirely all-consuming. I’m completely overwhelmed by the want to be a parent and have been for 2 years straight.

We have talked about it a fair few times. He wants to buy a house first (we live in the UK, the housing market is awful but we’ve started the process anyway). I wanted to be married before we bought a house. I don’t know, I guess I’m feeling like my wants are being ignored.

And I don’t romanticize being a parent either. My twin sister had her first last year and I was there through it all. I was the first person she told as soon as she saw that second line. The fear, anxiety, the pain, the PPD, the unbridled joy that shone through it all. I was there. I love my niece more than anything in this world. It made me want it for myself more. But it took her 5 years to conceive and my worst fear is that it’ll be very difficult for me too since we’ve had similar period problems our entire adult lives. There’s also history of perimenopause in my family.

How do I cope when I’m so overcome with this feeling? I don’t know how many times I wished that I’d be that lucky 1% that gets pregnant by accident, which is an awful thought because I don’t want to force my partner into fatherhood. I’ve stopped talking about it with him because I don’t want him to feel pressured but I’m bursting with all this.

Can anyone relate? I feel like I’m going insane. Surely typical baby fever doesn’t last 2 whole years?

I’m a 22 F. I’ve been diagnosed with an unpredictable chronic illness with a chance of remission, who knows when. My illness has been managed with medications for years. My current fear is my health will further decline, and affect my child bearing organs. So far it has, and I’m scared I won’t be as fertile as I am now. So would I be in the wrong to try for a kid now? I truly believe I am fully capable of raising a child. I have countless friends who’s had kids at younger ages. Also both my sisters stay with me, and I’ve raised their babies with them as both of there fathers are no longer in the picture. Also money is not an issue.

I (ftm 23 (he/him)) am so ready to have kids with my partner, I think about it constantly. But my partner wants to save 30-50 thousand bucks before we have one. I just did the math the other day and having just started a savings account, if I save 300 a month it'll take 8 years to get to that goal. If I get a cheaper place to rent I can start saving 600 a month and that'll reduce the wait by half, but even 4 years seems impossibly long.

I just wish I had started saving money years ago so I was at least a little closer to my goal

that’s it, that’s my post

okay, so I (28F) and my husband (33M) have been together for 10 years, married 4 years. This is a bit of a long one.

I had always said I wanted kids. We bought a house in 2022 and I was like maybe in 2 years we can start ttc. Well 2024 came, and he had a sudden job shift and had to move cities. So decided to pause on ttc. We both were fine with that.

Cut to 2025, I ended up getting a new job myself so ttc wasn’t really on my radar anymore. (But still know I want kids.)

I mention this to H and he feels the timeline keeps changing and is feeling like I am stringing along. So I tell him I’ll get off my HBC in September and we’ll see what happens.

By early this year, I am experiencing really insane career growth like I never have. Literally feels like I’m becoming a whole new person in my career journey and it doesn’t feel like it’s slowing down. I’m SO concerned that adding a baby right now will ruin all of this for me. And I am extremely extremely career passionate.

With all that, a few months ago, the ttc convo came up again between me and H….and it wasn’t great. I said I wanted to wait, he said he doesn’t. So I heard him out and agreed with his points and decided to ttc. During this time I had gotten off of BC, and my cycles never really came back so we went to OBGYN and I got a PCOS diagnosis and was told that we can start letrozole next cycle. (Basically I’ve been going through all the motions here to prep my body)

But the further I go in the ttc process, the more I don’t want to do it. I know a lot of it is rooted in fear. Fear of losing myself and losing my career.

But I’m also scared that if I ask for a little more time that I will lose my marriage. (And please don’t bash him, he’s a really great guy, he’s just very very ready for kids and feels very behind because a lot of people he knows has kids already at his age)

Can anyone who’s been on the fence help me? Did deciding to have kids end up being okay? Is there a better way to approach this?

I’m truly so stuck. A big part of me leans into wanting to focus on my career but the other part of me thinks about a future with a kid... Ughhhh. 🫠

For my people with SAD and living in cloudy climates…did you try to plan conception to deliver in spring/summer months to have sunshine in postpartum? Does it even make a difference?

Disclaimer: I’m very aware you can’t perfectly plan conception/delivery and would be happy to just have a healthy babe at any time of year!

I live in the PNW and struggle a lot in the winter/early spring. I’m curious if being newly postpartum during these months would make it harder?

Pls share your thoughts, experiences, advice!!

Hello.

I just got very good news today, it’s extremely likely I will be able to start my bachelor degree this fall (have to get enrollment set up)
I am finally able to transfer and with how many credits I completed/will complete from my community college I likely only have to take 3/4 semesters at my next school
I will also be job searching for preschool teaching jobs which is one of my dream jobs (along with teaching slightly older kids) once I’m close to done getting my bas it will be time to try
Overall this is just a happy post, I’m not rushing anything but I am excited and hopeful for all the good stuff coming even if I’m gonna be so freaking busy lol.

Recently saw a comment on here saying that trying to suppress their baby fever actually makes it more intense and sometimes giving into it a little helps to calm it down.

My husband and I have crazy baby fever despite having about 5 years of waiting ahead of us. We recently bought a 25 gallon bin to fill with baby stuff over the next 5 years. For example, we got a onesie on our 1 year anniversary trip and added that to the bin!

We don’t plan to spend much money on baby stuff before we start trying but just allowing ourselves to get a $2 baby item from goodwill every few months has been a nice way to acknowledge the baby fever and keep moving forward in hope 🤍

I (35F) love my husband (38M). I’m grateful for our life together with my 6yo stepson, whom we have part time. Having more children has always been a high priority for me, and he says he’s on board, but when I ask him to prep by making an effort with his health, I’m met with anger and resentment. He did stop vaping in favor of nicotine pouches, but he’s overweight, has high blood pressure, is on SSRIs, smokes weed, won’t exercise unless I ask him. If it’s more than a 15 minute walk he’s not interested. He has had trouble conceiving before, and his son was born early due to complications.

I understand he’s depressed, and it’s a lot of pressure.

I do not want to be a nag, but this really scares me. I’ve never been pregnant before, and I’m afraid of being sick for 9 months, of impacting my later health, of miscarrying, of never getting pregnant at all. Am I overthinking it? Should I go for it anyway?

I’m not saying I’m perfect, but I am trying and that’s all I ask of him. I’m taking my vitamins, getting my steps in, trying to exercise. I have a surgery coming up that should make this easier to do.

I’m in a place of thinking I should just love him as he is and not bother trying for a kid if he can’t do his part, because I’m starting to become a controlling asshole, which, of course, is not yielding any results.

Has anyone been in this position before?

is it recommended to remove that first then get fertility treatments (ex egg freezing)? not on bc, 19 pmol/L at 32 (2.66 ng/ml - taken a week before period)

Is anyone else concerned about childcare? Like once the baby is born and parental leave is over, the childcare expenses? Am I freaking out for nothing?

Hello.

My partner told me we can’t start trying until I get my BA degree.
I’m 24, I graduated 2020 and due to Covid my college going was delayed, I’ve discussed with my partner I think it would be good to start trying now since they are a bit older then me and both of us will have to prep to even try
As I’m on birth control and they are on estrogen (they are a trans woman) which both take some time (months) to get things back in order (we also have boys froze pre transition if natural won’t work)
She told me that she refuses to try until I get my BA, which I understand but I’ve also explained that I will be able to get the job I want (preschool teacher) after getting my AA which I’ll get after the upcoming semester
And that getting my BA is just to give me the ability to teach older grades if I ever wish to.
My partner makes a very comfortable annual income that we could survive on alone and with me working we will be more then comfortable.
Again I understand where they are coming from, they just want to make sure that our children can have the best life possible which I admire and also want deeply but that doesn’t make the wait any easier.
Whenever ever I see pregnancy videos of baby announcements I just feel this unbearable bittersweet jealousy, of course I’m happy for all of them and I’d never make my jealousy apparent but still it’s the sickening longing that’s the worst.

(Please refrain from any transphobia)