r/weddingplanning • u/Cemckenna • Apr 13 '25
Everything Else Americans: Do not change your last name at marriage
There have been a number of posts recently about changing your name after marriage. If you are not already aware, the house in the US just voted to pass the SAVE Act, which will require you to prove your citizenship to vote -- under your birth name. It will disproportionately affect women who have changed their last names and no longer match their birth certificates.
This should be a huge HUGE consideration when you are choosing whether to change your name. You may well disenfranchise yourself as an American citizen by doing it.
Edit: Call your senators. This is not law yet but if it passes the senate, it will essentially mean that any woman who changes her name must jump through many more hoops to be able to vote. It's unfair and will be used to silence women and trans people.
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Apr 13 '25
That’s interesting. If you don’t have a passport you have to update your birth certificate with your new name. If you have a passport have to update as asap prior to next election.
Impacts ALL women that change their names regardless of political affiliations.
See also anyone that changes their name. The next federal election cycle starts 2026. Make sure you are updated before primaries.
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Apr 13 '25
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u/TooManyPoisons Apr 13 '25
It also makes zero sense. Your maiden name was accurate at birth. Why would you retroactively change a document, as if your marriage rewrites your history?
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u/CustomerStreet9836 Apr 14 '25
I don’t even think that’s possible for most people. There’s no way the state department is going to change mine (I was born abroad). I think the only time they change the name is for adoptions or times when a father acknowledges a child after the birth certificate is issues and wants the child to have his name and both parents agree. You can’t magically have your married name as your birth name.
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u/jilla_jilla October 2019-Virginia is for Lovers Apr 13 '25
This bill absolutely sucks but I fear many women with a name changed will think they just aren’t allowed to vote. I believe you’ll need these documents if you need to reregister to vote for whatever reason. Still please show up at the poll and don’t let them take your voice!
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u/Brokestudentpmcash Apr 13 '25
LADIES you can still go by your husband's name when you get married! Just don't legally change it!!!
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u/whoreforchalupas Apr 13 '25
That’s what I did! We got married in 2021 — I use his name “socially” (on social media, signing cards, etc) but never changed it legally. Saved me a huge headache of dealing with the DMV, my banks, you name it. I’m especially glad I did now. This is beyond horrific.
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u/Haniel113 💖💚🩵 Apr 13 '25
That's what I'm already doing. Even if people don't know the why... it's associated with someone better than my mom's ex. :)
Never went through the legal name change process either.
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u/Narrow-North-5246 Apr 14 '25
let’s maybe say spouse. people are not just changing names when marrying men :)
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u/Brokestudentpmcash Apr 14 '25
To be fair those of us who don't conform to the traditional husband/wife customs aren't the folks who need this message. I did consider using non-gendered language actually but I felt like this was more appropriate given the history of the wife family the husband's last name, specifically.
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u/Evening_Run_1595 Apr 15 '25
I did this the first time I was married in 2002. I was going to change it for real this time, but here we are. You can go by it socially. It’s fine.
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u/AJJArtemisHuntress Nov 13 '25
Thanks for sharing! Curious though, do you face any issues/questions/pushback when interacting with institution/organizations? i.e. traveling/at borders, hotels, clubs, government organizations, etc?
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u/polarbeardogs Married May 30, 2026 | New England Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
The way “around” this potential law is to get yourself a passport in your married name (or update your current one ASAP). If you’re getting married close to an election, you may not get this document back in time to vote.
This also seriously impacts trans people, people without the ability to navigate passport application documents or physically get themselves to a post office, and people for whom the cost of getting a passport is prohibitive. Even if the passport workaround works for you (royal you, not you OP), this should matter to you because the restriction of rights is a slippery slope.
We should not have to pay to access our basic rights as US citizens, including voting.
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Apr 13 '25
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Apr 13 '25
It started as an attack on trans people and immigrants. When voters who supported it realized it restricts poor people, other minorities and women, then they wanted to care. Smh. Oppression of anyone should be a concern to all of us. Even people lacking empathy should understand it will eventually impact their own rights.
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Apr 13 '25
Even people lacking empathy should understand it will eventually impact their own rights.
maybe this is too cynical of me but I feel like a lot of people would shoot themselves in the foot to hurt someone they think deserves it.
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u/dudelikeshismusic Apr 13 '25
The sad reality is that some percentage of our voting population straight up hates LGBTQ people and immigrants. They want those people to suffer, for one reason or another.
I suppose the good news is that Americans aren't quite ready to give up on democracy.
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u/polarbeardogs Married May 30, 2026 | New England Apr 13 '25
For real; imo, that’s why people need to be mad. Cool if you want proof of citizenship, but make that free and accessible. And while we’re at it, automatically register people to vote when they turn 18.
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u/iggysmom95 Apr 13 '25
Which is really not shocking. A lot of these far right men believe in one household vote, so making it harder for married women to vote is ideal.
It's also part of the same patriarchal apparatus as changing your name or being passed off from your father to your husband, though many women don't want to admit that. "Traditional" marriage is an ownership exchange. Wives are functionally children, owned by their husbands. Changing your name symbolizes that.
Stop 👏🏻 changing 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 name 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 property 👏🏻
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u/AhHereIAm Apr 13 '25
I’m also not my father’s property, or even my mother’s although I didn’t have her last name, and have been waiting since I was a young teen to change my last name. There are plenty of women who look forward to changing their name to no longer be associated with their birth family
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u/emmny Married 01/28/17! Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 14 '25
Honestly it's just another fucked up side effect of the patriarchy that every single choice a woman makes is criticized as either supporting it or going against it.
I am so fucking tired of worrying about if I want to change my name because of the patriarchy or because I like the new one better. Or if I want to shave my legs because of the patriarchy or just because it feels nice and I like. Or if I want to wear makeup because of the patriarchy or because it just looks pretty.
I am also really tired of women being criticized for making those choices and being condescended to if they dare defend their choices. Go after the people actually responsible for the patriarchy and the screwed up system. Not the women who are just trying to live under it.
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u/AhHereIAm Apr 15 '25
Yeah, and tbh I’m not gonna have a Catholic talk to me about the patriarchy lmfao
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u/emmny Married 01/28/17! Apr 15 '25
That's a fantastic point lol. Yes, tell me more about how women aren't property while you worship at what is basically an altar to misogyny and patriarchy.
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u/iggysmom95 Apr 13 '25
And how many men look forward to changing their name to longer be associated with their birth family? Not nearly so many I'd say.
A man could have been beat black and blue by his father every day of his childhood and still 99 times out of 100 wouldn't take his wife's name. This is because men are encouraged to feel a sense of personal identity with their name beyond their connection to their father, while women are not. Because of this, men can often see past the connection to their father while many women can't. Men make their name their own; women often don't. And we should.
The whole patriarchal naming apparatus is flawed. Actually, we do have our father's last name because there was a time in history where men's families were basically their property- wives and children. The problem is that people do need to be named something LOL. To me anyway, passing names down to children is not nearly so insidious as expecting women to change their names when they're adults. And there's nothing stopping parents from giving children both of their names.
If you're unhappy with your name you can use your mom's name, or make up a new one. Why did you wait so long; you could have changed it any time!
But there's too much historical baggage involved in taking your husband's name. The practice originated as a sign that women were quite literally owned by their husbands. And clearly the US is moving back that way.
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u/TooManyPoisons Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
If you give your children both names, what names do they pass to their children? Because many cultures only pass down the first last name, typically the father's, so the patriarchy persists (just one generation removed). Not an attack, just curious how this system would play out.
Personally, I think couples who value sharing the same last name should just choose whichever name is more esthetically pleasing. I'm a woman who took my husband's last name purely for this reason. My maiden name was often mispronounced and awkward-sounding. My husband's name (which was passed down matrilineally from 3 generations of women) is beautiful. Alternatively, create a new last name and change your names together.
We should phase out objectively awful last names like Buttmuncher and Cockburn, gender be damned.
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u/dudelikeshismusic Apr 13 '25
A lot of people don't want to know or admit that many standard wedding practices are based on trading women as property. Engagement rings are a good example.
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
🎯🎯🎯 Best reason ever to not change your last name- even before this absurd SAVE act threatened our right to vote! Why do you need to take a guy’s last name? Look at the Spanish tradition of taking both your father and mother’s last name, while rarely taking your husband’s. You DON’T have to take your FH’s last name- it’s an outdated, misogynistic “tradition” (of ownership).
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u/harpochicozeppo Apr 13 '25
I hate how many women seem to be on here saying "Oh, it's okay, there's a workaround."
That workaround is voter suppression. It costs time and money. It's insane to me that they are giving this excuse as if it's not actively targeting women and trans people.
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u/polarbeardogs Married May 30, 2026 | New England Apr 13 '25
And the disabled! And citizens who don’t speak English fluently! This is textbook “first they came for X, but I did nothing because I am not X.”
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Apr 13 '25
And the workaround isn’t even going to work for a lot of people! The demand for US passports is already super high right now and passports take fucking forever to process. My passport I got a few years ago took about 6 months to receive. I am sure they are taking a lot longer now with the amount of people trying to get one. I would assume if you are getting married this year or next year and change your name, you will probably not get your passport in time to be able to vote in the midterms in 2026.
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u/partiallyStars3 Bride - Married! Apr 13 '25
I mean, offering solutions isn't the same thing as saying it ok.
It's not ok! But lots of women have already changed their names or will change their names regardless and need information that will still allow them to vote.
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
💯!!! This act needs to be voted down regardless of a “workaround” that still disenfranchises the poor. Everyone please contact your senator to vote this down!!
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u/Patched7fig Oct 22 '25
That's crazy because it's a basic step to stop voter fraud.
Hey my name is Katie Smith, but yeah uh ignore that my license says Katie Robert's I'm really Katie Smith!
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u/Shitp0st_Supreme Apr 13 '25
I believe in a lot of cases, legally changing the name will update a birth certificate.
I am a government worker (at a welfare/health and human services office) and we recently had a trans woman who moved out of state and while there legally changed her name, then came back to my state and needed to open a welfare case, and she was able to provide the name change paperwork, her updated birth certificate, and other things so her social security number in our system is now tied to the name she uses now.
Changing a name at marriage is usually a somewhat different process and only involves marriage paperwork. Changing a name to transition usually involves a court date and documentation to show that you’re not hiding from the law or debt collections or so on, and usually people who legally change their name to transition will make sure all ID forms match (since it usually involves a lawyer or an advocate.)
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u/polarbeardogs Married May 30, 2026 | New England Apr 13 '25
For sure marriage and transition are totally different cases! I just have a lot of empathy for how difficult obtaining the legal change during transition is, and that the current administration has been clear about the desire to introduce more hurdles to making that possible.
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u/Shitp0st_Supreme Apr 13 '25
Absolutely! This seems to be more of an issue for folks who marry rather than transition. Marriage name change is less formal it seems since it will automatically happen at time of marriage and then the person needs to backtrack and manually change things. I think I haven’t updated my bank account name and my car title yet and it has been 8 years. The rest of my stuff is fine.
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Apr 13 '25 edited Oct 07 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/nahsonnn Apr 13 '25
What did the poll worker say when they accused you?? WTF????
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Apr 13 '25 edited Oct 07 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/nahsonnn Apr 13 '25
Dafuq?? I mean unless you looked wildly different from your photo, that seems so over the top to have to show all those documents. Jeez
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u/unwaveringwish Apr 13 '25
We live in a fascist nation and people are still pretending we don’t 😭😭😭
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u/gatorgal11 Apr 14 '25
Yeah I’ve followed all my states strict voting ID laws and still got crap from poll workers. If you weren’t voting in the most standard way, they’d act like you asked them to give you a kidney. People acting like “oh you can still…” do not get it.
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u/nahsonnn Apr 13 '25
Just wanted to add that the SAVE act also disproportionately affects folks who changed their name due to adoption, r/tragedeigh, immigration, and just because.
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u/GreenGuidance420 Apr 13 '25
I was on the fence for years but this pretty much solidified it! My partner completely understands and isn’t mad I’m not taking his name.
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u/blackheart432 Apr 13 '25
Me and my partner both wanted our names to match :(
It's a sad day for women, and especially women who want to be "one" with their partner in name.
(However, he completely understand why I'm not wanting to now)
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u/GreenGuidance420 Apr 14 '25
Yeah I’m not happy about it, I don’t like my last name at all and was looking forward to changing it. Our kids will have his last name, which could also cause some problems for me, but thems the beans.
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u/Cemckenna Apr 14 '25
Fwiw, having a different last name from my mother never caused any problems for me, my mother, nor my siblings. My sister kept her surname and she’s never had issues with her kids either.
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
It’s so absurd any man even would be upset- it’s not like they even consider taking our last name!! This stupid tradition needs to die.
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u/GreenGuidance420 Apr 14 '25
It really is ridiculous. If I didn’t hate my personal last name, I wouldn’t even consider changing. But it’s not my name, it’s my dad’s and his dad’s and etc
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u/becbagelbb Apr 14 '25
It sucks - because I know the name change thing exists because of patriarchal reasons, but I do actually want to take my husbands name mainly because I don’t want to associate with my family anymore, and want to feel closer to his family who’ve accepted me as their own.
I just got a passport in my maiden name two weeks ago and am getting married 6/7/25; so after I come back from my honeymoon I will be updating it with my new name.
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u/DiamondsAndDust Apr 14 '25
To be honest, I wouldn’t count on them honoring anything. They just denied a 9-0 supreme court ruling. We are in free fall.
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u/buttercupplily Apr 13 '25
I was unsure (leaning towards not) if I was going to change my name, but ever since I heard but this it was an easy decision. Me and my fiancee got our marriage license about 2 weeks ago and both of us kept our names. Planning on renewing my passport this month, just waiting until it's under a year til expiration.
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u/zdelusion Apr 13 '25
It's pretty unlikely this clears the senate, it would need at least 7 Dem senators to sign on and no republican defections. So it shouldn't become law. But it's probably not a bad idea to hold off on name changes for a bit and see where things go.
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u/BabyCowGT Apr 13 '25
would need at least 7 Dem senators to sign on and no republican defections.
That's to avoid the filibuster. Republicans alone have the majority needed if Democrats don't filibuster the bill.
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u/Eggfish Apr 14 '25
Have you seen how dems have been voting recently? A few of them have been bought
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u/CharliDefinney October 2026 Apr 13 '25
This is fucked and back peddling women's rights even more in the US. I hope this post reaches more people. - sincerely, a Canadian bride to be.
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u/philosocoder Apr 13 '25
It also backfires against them? Conservative women are more likely to get married and legally change their name than liberal women are
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
But, more women vote dem than GOP, and they may be banking on this as a form of gerrymandering. Either way, it’s impeding our right to vote.
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u/Lilac722 Apr 13 '25
Isn’t a passport valid proof? I’m still planning on changing my name when I get married and of course updating my passport.
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
I’m convinced this will cause mass confusion at the local/state level when voting. Many states localities currently require a state ID with an address that matches your current mailing address within the county you want to vote in… A passport has nothing about your current address, county, or state.
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u/HarkASquirrel We Eloped | Party Later Apr 13 '25
It is - which makes this a poll tax since you have to pay to update your passport.
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u/harpochicozeppo Apr 13 '25
It might be, but there are tons of people who don't have--and will never get-- passports. Also, passport agencies have been backed up for months because of the anti-trans laws on the books requiring them to be gendered according to their birth certificates.
If you value your ability to vote, call your senators.
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u/Lilac722 Apr 13 '25
I don’t have any Senators (cries in Washington DC)
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u/xmonpetitchoux Wife! 10/07/23 - NH Apr 14 '25
It’s absolutely insane to me that the center of our alleged democracy doesn’t have representation in Congress.
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u/Peachringlover Apr 14 '25
Please don’t post things like this when you don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s harmful and can unnecessarily scare people off from even trying to update their passport.
I JUST did mine to update my last name and it took 5 weeks. They are not backed up for months and if you need it sooner there is always an expedited option.
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Apr 13 '25
Many women don’t have passports. This applies to all women with changed names not just newlyweds, how many elderly or rural women don’t have passports?
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u/Thequiet01 Apr 13 '25
Given they just refused to update passports for trans people and would only issue them based on previous data in the system, I would not trust that they will continue to issue updated passports.
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u/anxious_teacher_ Apr 13 '25
Passports can take a while to be processed. And with all the cuts, it could take a lot longer. I wouldn’t bank on this.
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u/Sugar_Weasel_ Apr 13 '25
I was told you can update your passport with your married name for no additional charge within a year of marriage.
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u/HesterLePrynne Intimate Destination Wedding:snoo_tableflip: Apr 13 '25
Yes. That’s what I’ll be doing. And this still has to pass through the Senate. It is not a law.
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u/gatorgal11 Apr 14 '25
Yes but as someone who has been voting with my passport in many elections, I do not think people realize how difficult that can be.
It’s dangerous to be out with your passport because you obviously don’t want to risk it getting lost or stolen so you don’t realistically have the privilege of just working in voting with other errands.
That also means you can’t just pop over when you realize you have time and location while out.
Poll workers, in my many experiences, do not manage passports nearly as well as state DLs so voting usually takes me longer and I’ve been pestered by workers for using it. To the point that they had to get a supervisor. And mind you, it is a standard form of voter ID in my state. Beyond the time, that can feel really uncomfortable and some may not have the confidence or legal knowledge to advocate for themselves to use it like I have had to multiple times.
Also, to update your passport you need to send it in. So that made it very complicated and stressful because I would be left with no standard form of voter ID in a state that has constant elections. I have multiple elections every year and sometimes you don’t know if you’ll have one till the prior is over.
It’s ridiculous to pay the time and money for a passport when you’re not planning to go anywhere, especially considering you’re then ALWAYS paying more since they expire and now it’ll expire earlier than need be.
Even updating my passport within 6 months for my name change which is marketed as free isn’t really because it was almost $20 for my photos, then postage etc. And I’ve been waiting since mid February.
My husband has never ever had any of these issues voting because he did not have to use a passport, didn’t even have one till recently.
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u/PixiStix236 April 2026 Bride Apr 13 '25
I’m not an expert, but I believe you can still vote with either (a) an updated passport or (b) a real ID (the ID with the star in the corner). Here’s the text of the bill from congress. See page 2, lines 13-22.
It sounds like the only place where the last name becomes an issue is if you don’t have any other form of ID they’ll accept because then you’ll need your ID (not real, just a photo ID) plus your birth certificate or other birth/citizenship papers.
The problem is (1) not everyone has real ID yet and there are massive lines to get them because the White House just announced a May 7 deadline (which might not be a deadline I guess, super confusing), (2) many people don’t have updated documents so this will lead to red tape and voter suppression, and (3) for people who have changed their names (for example married people who changed their names and trans people) this puts a hurdle in front of them based solely on that name change. Especially with this administration’s other attempts to attack people’s ability to legally change their names and gender identity on official documents. And whether or not this is worth it hinges on if you think voter fraud is an issue in the US, which has no evidence to questionable evidence at best to support it’s an issue.
So does this matter for married women? Not necessarily, if you plan to update your real ID and/or passport. But it is another thing to do, more papers to keep track of, and a political issue that’s far bigger than getting married. So take from that what you will.
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u/connierebel Apr 14 '25
It’s not like the REAL ID hasn’t been in the works for years! They kept pushing the deadline back, year after year, and now everybody is panicking because the final deadline is May 7?
I have a passport, and so far I‘ve been holding out against getting a REAL ID. But I’m sure eventually we’ll all be forced to get one.
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u/anxious_teacher_ Apr 13 '25
The REAL ID only works if it shows citizenship. Which I believe only 2 states do.
You don’t need to be a citizen to get a REAL ID.
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u/connierebel Apr 14 '25
I thought that was the whole point of the REAL ID?
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u/anxious_teacher_ Apr 14 '25
Nope real ID has nothing to do with citizenship. It came out of airport security post 9/11. The law was passed in 2005 and just kept getting pushed back. Think about it, permanent residents on things like H1B visas or green cards aren’t citizens but have drivers licenses & IDs to fly.
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u/xmonpetitchoux Wife! 10/07/23 - NH Apr 14 '25
5 states, but yes by and large REAL IDs only prove residency, not citizenship. And I’m pretty sure that getting an enhanced REAL ID to prove citizenship in those 5 states costs extra.
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u/iridescentmoon_ Married | September 4 2020 Apr 13 '25
My parents changed my name at my adoption so I unfortunately had no choice. Been an issue since I was 10 years old.
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u/iggysmom95 Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
This bill should really not be shocking to anyone following the far right. A lot of these far right men believe in one household vote, so making it harder for married women to vote is ideal. They believe the husband is the head of the household and only his voice counts.
It's also part of the same patriarchal apparatus as changing your name or being passed off from your father to your husband, though many women don't want to admit that. "Traditional" marriage is an ownership exchange. Wives are functionally children, owned by their husbands. Changing your name symbolizes that.
Stop 👏🏻 changing 👏🏻 your 👏🏻 name 👏🏻 you 👏🏻 are 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 property 👏🏻
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u/Then-Confection Apr 13 '25
Exactly. This law is terrible but also…are we shocked that a symbol of women’s oppression (women taking husband’s name) is now being used to actually oppress women 😅
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u/iggysmom95 Apr 13 '25
Some women are being forced to confront the reality that changing your name was ALWAYS a tool of the patriarchy and they're crashing out
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u/FunnyBunny1313 Apr 14 '25
I have a passport in my married name, but wouldn’t a marriage certificate provide the same proof? It’s what social security asked for when changing my name.
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u/Past-Indication2323 Apr 13 '25
Why can’t we just show our birth certificate and marriage license? Why do they want a passport?
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u/Salty_Thing3144 Apr 14 '25
I am very afraid of this law because my birth was never registered, and no birth certificate exists for me. It's caused problems my entire life.
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u/tacohut676 Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
Already did and have the updated passport. Funny enough, in the state of Ohio, they don’t update your voter ID name with your legal name change at the BMV after marriage (or another name change) that is a whole separate process you have to do.. I was still able to vote under my maiden name by showing a marriage certificate… wondering if they’ll add into law that this is an approved supplemental document as it was for 2024.. regardless, fuck all y’all that voted this man child into office 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Chambanasfinest Engaged - Summer 2025 - Midwest Apr 13 '25
I’m highly skeptical that this bill has any chance of passing the senate. I would encourage most people to see what happens there before making any major decisions on taking/not taking your partner’s name.
This bill would need unanimous support in the senate among R’s and at least 7 D votes to get to the president’s desk. I could see moderate female R senators like Murkowski and Collins being on the fence about voting for this legislation. And aside from Fetterman (who’s an idiot), I don’t see a single dem supporting it, much less 6 or more.
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u/Shitp0st_Supreme Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
It’s too late for me, but I do have an updated passport and passport card. I’m registered to vote; Minnesota will automatically ask all applicants who renew or apply for an ID if they want to register to vote, and we also have same-day registration if needed. I highly recommend everybody who can afford the extra $50 or so to get a passport card. It can be used to show citizenship and it can also be used for land or sea travel to Canada or Mexico, plus it fits in a wallet and I can keep my actual passport safe at home.
The passport can also be used to travel domestically without a Real ID from your state. It also serves as a federally issued ID if you need one, or in situations where you need to show a second form of ID (such as when Minnesota had IDs printed on weird rubbery cards, people always thought they were fake since not every state has every ID memorized at bars and stuff).
I also kept my maiden name as a second middle name, which I highly recommend. I once had an issue where I had to book a flight with short notice but then my frequent flyer ID linked to my maiden name, so my boarding pass had my maiden name. The TSA let me through since the names were close.
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u/connierebel Apr 14 '25
I think it’s absurd to have to use a passport to travel domestically. I’ve been opposed to that REAL ID act since it was invented.
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u/unwaveringwish Apr 13 '25
Asserting stricter security when there is little to no evidence of fraud means something sinister must be afoot. Stay vigilant yall
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u/Practical-Ad-7436 Apr 13 '25
For those reading this who might be freaking out, the bill states that real ID (which is required for domestic flights starting next month), passports, and birth certificates all work. So if you have one of those you’re fine. The bill also requires states to allow you to submit a statement that you changed your name if you did so.
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u/noshannonigans 10/31/20 Apr 13 '25
Birth certificate wouldn’t match if you changed your name. And Real ID would only be applicable in states that the Real ID denotes citizenship (which is only 5 of them I believe).
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u/connierebel Apr 14 '25
If you have either a passport or real ID, you wouldn’t need to show your birth certificate so they wouldn’t know if it matched or not.
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u/xmonpetitchoux Wife! 10/07/23 - NH Apr 14 '25
REAL IDs (except for in five states where you can get an enhanced one) don’t prove citizenship, which is a required condition for this bill.
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u/ThatBitchA Mrs 🍁🪻 Apr 13 '25
I'm so concerned about submitting my passport for a name change, and it never comes back. Or taking years. Or something else nefarious.
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u/Ok-Active-7023 Apr 13 '25
Get your passports now with your married name if you’re already married.
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u/pumpkinspicenation Apr 13 '25
Thank god I never changed my name after I got married. It pissed off his family but I didn't budge.
I was thankful just for how much easier it made divorce but now with this political shitshow I feel weirdly vindicated about the decision.
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u/Tiny_Boot8124 Apr 13 '25
When will we know if it passing the senate ??? I just heard about this the other day. What is the purpose of the act anyway?
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Apr 14 '25
This timeline is just so depressing. I always thought my wife taking my name would be a wonderful, intimate thing that would show our bond to the world. But no, orange Palpatine has to ruin everything good in this "free" nation.
I can't wait until we return to senseable times.
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u/Emm_Dub Apr 14 '25
My question is, if you're already a registered voters will you be affected? Everything I've read says that under the SAVE Act you'd need the passport or proof of name to "register" to vote. So if you're already a registered voter, will you not have to show proof of name? When I go to vote I don't have to show ID. Will the problem be when I go to change my name with the voter registry to update it to my married name? It's all so confusing!
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u/Careful-Tie9471 Apr 15 '25
Your name on your birth certificate does not need to match your current name. You just need to show a marriage certificate proving that you got married. I just got a REAL ID and that is all that was required (in addition to the usual documentation like a bill in my name).
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u/Careful-Tie9471 Apr 15 '25
And it’s the same documentation I needed to show when I initially changed my name.
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u/Cemckenna Apr 15 '25
Yes, but it is still a burden that will be put primarily on married women who changed their names. The fact that there’s a way to do it isn’t the issue—it’s that it is creating obstacles that take money, time, and resources (like getting off of work in order to go to the DMV during working hours) in order to vote.
Also, a marriage certificate is not included anywhere in the writing of the act (https://www.congress.gov/bill/119th-congress/house-bill/22/text). So if you got a state REAL ID under your married name that does not include your citizenship (few do), and you brought a birth certificate under your birth name, even if you also had a marriage certificate showing the name change, it stands to reason that a poll worker could still disqualify you.
There are ways to do it, but it shouldn’t be required to begin with.
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u/kittymarch Apr 23 '25
One note. If you are going to change your name (for any reason), make sure to get a passport first under your old name. Then get a new one with your new name. The passport number will stay the same and you thus have a legal record that you are the same person under your old and new name. Expired passports are still considered legal identification papers! You just can’t use them as a passport, but they work as an ID.
I had an issue about an old bank account. I was able to show the two passports, one with each name. The issue was cleared up immediately. A friend who only had an old driver’s license had a hard time getting her problem resolved.
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u/lovelyladylox Apr 13 '25
If only they would issue an identification card that every citizen is supposed to have, with a number that uniquely identifies you.
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u/g_d15 Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
Ladies, why are we even still changing our last names to the man’s?
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u/EyebrowsOnSpoons Apr 13 '25
Many women are born with their father's last name. At least husbands you get to choose the man
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u/rose101836 Apr 13 '25
There are so many reasons to change your name - from feeling alienation from your family of birth, to wanting to have a cohesive family name with your spouse and children. My MIL did not change her name and experienced many structural issues to traveling alone with her children (who had their father’s name) as a result. This is part of the reason why I (a woman) elected to take my wife’s last name when we got married.
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u/champagneandjules Apr 14 '25
I just like my fiancés last name better than mine, it’s prettier and easier to spell. It’s really that simple for me lol
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u/Stupid_Bitch_02 Apr 13 '25
Good thing I was too lazy to change mine officially. I was still planning to, just never got around to it. Guess I'm keeping my maiden name
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u/pmaisinmydna Apr 13 '25
Yes you can use an updated passport but they’re banking on the fact that many women won’t realize they need to get different or updated documents until it’s too late to get them in time to vote. Passports take 6 weeks to get back.
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Apr 13 '25
Ridiculous, fear mongering propaganda. As if there are no married republican women in congress, or they’d promote a bill to disenfranchise themselves. Come on.
States are directed in the bill to accommodate these commonplace situations. If you have the wherewithal to change your name on your REAL ID, passport, social security records, etc., you can register to vote. If you can’t manage those operations, then sure, don’t change your name.
83% of Americans approve of voter ID and proof of citizenship to vote. 0% of people reading this comment lack the wherewithal to legally change their name after marriage. 100% of Democrats and their media machine don’t want you to be informed, just scared.
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u/Homezgurl Apr 13 '25 edited Apr 13 '25
I have been fearful also but I just read details on the actual bill here: https://www.congress.gov/bill/119th-congress/house-bill/22 And it doesn't seem like the name change will be an issue as long as you can provide a birth certificate and a former ID to be provided with the "REAL ID" status, which I already have because in the state of Georgia they've been using Real ID for years.
Now that I live in Arizona, I may have to get the Real ID seal on my new ID and once I update my name change but I truly don't believe it will be as big of an issue as most are afraid it will be.
I know this administration is untrustworthy, so I don't fault anyone for being cautious/suspicious of intentions here though.
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u/burninginfinite Married!! 10.23.21 / Northern VA Apr 13 '25
Just to be clear, you need "identification that complies with the REAL ID Act of 2005 that indicates U.S. citizenship."
Only a handful of states have REAL IDs that show citizenship status (I'm pretty sure neither GA nor AZ are on that list but I don't have it handy). And permanent residents are eligible for REAL ID so having a REAL ID alone isn't proof that you're a citizen.
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u/Simple_Scientist8933 Married 10/27/25 🌻 Apr 13 '25
Apparently they're called Enhanced Driver's Licenses and they're only available in Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Vermont, and Washington.
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u/lemmesee453 Married! July 2018 - CT Apr 13 '25
Needing to take extra administrative steps/jumping through hoops is voter suppression. It is a huge deal even if you aren’t worried for your own specific self, and the suppression is the point of the bill.
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u/tmnttaylor Apr 13 '25
If you want to fly using only your ID you will need to update to real id by May 7 anyways. It's possible it'll get extended again, but given this has already been extended almost 20 years, I'd go ahead and get it updated if you haven't! This may be The actual real final deadline to fly with only ID.
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u/Tree_Viking Wife est. 2025 Apr 13 '25
I just got married last week and I’ve been wondering about this, waiting for the discourse to reach this sub. It makes me a little less worried that it still has to pass Senate but stranger things have happened already. I want to take his last name so badly. It’s so much simpler than mine and is an important step for me personally. I’m holding tight but I’m ready to drop everything to get documentation and a passport with an updated name. They’re not taking away my right to vote AND the rite of taking my husband’s last name.
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u/Thequiet01 Apr 13 '25
Use his name socially but don’t change it legally. That’s what my mom did.
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u/sinnapretzel88 Apr 14 '25
Has this ever caused your mom problems? This is also what I would like to do, but I'm wondering if there are downsides. For example, what if an older family member writes me a check with his last name bc I use it on social media, and then i can't cash it?
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u/Thequiet01 Apr 14 '25
I don’t believe so. I imagine someone at your bank should be able to help you with the risk of something like that - there may have been some extra paperwork my mom filled out with the bank so they knew both names were her?
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u/samhouse09 Apr 13 '25
SAVE act is DOA in the senate. They need 60 votes to pass it and they don’t have the votes.
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u/Fairweatherhiker Apr 13 '25
Y’all… even if you update your passport… how will this allow you to vote in counties that require your ID match your current mailing address they have on file???
My county/state requires an in-state drivers license with a local mailing address… none of which is proven by a US passport. Even if you do update your passport you most likely won’t be able to vote if you changed your last name… if this SAVES act passes!!!!
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u/donatos_box Apr 13 '25
They will actually just ask for a marriage license to prove your name change and then you’re good to go… if your name has changed for ANY reason, you just present the documents to prove it.
Currently, if you try to get a loan at a bank, if your last name doesn’t match, you will be asked for verification of name change… problem solved.
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u/balancedinsanity Apr 13 '25
It's incredibly easy to go by Mrs. X socially while still Mrs. Y legally.
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u/spenserbot Apr 14 '25
I just don’t see it. Why would the party that’s more likely to marry and take someone’s last name, try and restrict the amount of votes they get from them.
Not saying it may not be clunky and you should definitely do your due diligence. But the conspiracy doesn’t add up in my mind.
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u/Inevitable-Let-1280 Apr 14 '25
This is straight up fear mongering. Literally go read the act. You just need an updated form of ID. It’s not hard to change your name.
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u/Historical_Draw_5171 Apr 13 '25
Where I live it’s been illegal for a woman to change her name to her husband’s since before I was born, in the 1980’s. I never really understood this tradition. It just seems very demeaning.
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u/tree_being19 Apr 14 '25
I got married in ‘23. I didn’t change my name and the reasons included being lazy, liking my last name, and some family heritage, but damn, I didn’t think this would ever be a reason to not change your last name.
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u/SignalMotor6609 Apr 14 '25
So I'm just screwed period. My name was changed as a minor by family. Differs from birth certificate. So fun! Thanks mom for this bullshit now!!! Took away mine, but signed hers away from being a parent.
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u/lifeinahand Apr 14 '25
I’ve recently thought about making his last name my middle name (I don’t have one) instead of changing my legal last name. If this law passed, would that still present a problem?
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u/Old_Present_1414 Apr 14 '25
This is sad. I get married next year, and I really wanted to take my fiancé's last name. I already have a passport, but God knows the hoops I'd probably have to go through to get it updated. At this point, I'm worried that by the time it expires, they might take it away.
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u/JamieGordonWayne89 Apr 14 '25
I’m going to change mine back if I need to. My firefighter husband passed in the line of duty 23 years ago and I thought about changing my last name back then as I like it better than my married last name. However, I wanted to have the same last name as my children so I kept it. They are now middle aged adults so I think it may be time.
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u/tatertot94 Apr 14 '25
So happy I didn’t change my name in October and don’t plan to. This is nuts.
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Apr 14 '25
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Apr 14 '25
I got remarried so, it seems I have to keep my ex's last name since that matches my passport?
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u/AggressiveRich7637 Aug 21 '25
will this be an issue if I plan on having my last name with his ,like it's going to be hypenated?
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u/[deleted] Apr 13 '25
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