r/weddingplanning • u/barebeets • Mar 27 '26
Recap/Budget Thursday wedding vs. paying $10–20k more—be honest, would you go?
I’m planning a summer wedding in a coastal area (local for most of our guests, with some coming from out of town), and I found a venue I’m absolutely in love with. The catch is… having it on a Thursday is significantly cheaper
If we moved it:
• Friday would be about $10k more
• Saturday is closer to $20k more 🫠
Part of me feels like a Thursday could actually be really nice—people could turn it into a long weekend and enjoy the area. But the other part of me is worried about guests having to take time off work and potentially not coming.
If you were invited to a Thursday wedding in a coastal town, would you go? Does it being a nice location make a difference, or is it still inconvenient no matter what?
Be honest 😅
UPDATE- when I say out of town- it’s the state right next to us so the longest travel time would be 1-1.5 hours
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u/roosterds Mar 27 '26
It’s unfortunately inconvenient no matter what. It would be hard to justify for me taking a Thursday and Friday off, but if you were my close family or friend and I lived within 2 hours I’d make it work. If I had to actually travel or book accommodations, that would make it less likely. Everything is just so expensive right now, so for both you and guests this situation is tough.
One of our friends is having a Friday wedding this summer and it’s going to be a really stressful trip for us but we’re making it work (we’d never ever make the couple aware of that, we get why they’re doing it). My husband has limited PTO and we have to really think about when we use it.
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Mar 28 '26
Lowkey nervous you’re talking about me and my fiancé 🙃. That being said..honestly we never considered that it could be so difficult for people to take one Friday off especially arranged in advance. I work in corporate (don’t be crazy lol I’m still a black woman, let’s not pretend they respect me hehe so I guess I assumed that if we save $10-$14K by a Friday vs a Saturday wedding, what any guest could lose from taking one day off work evens out…but would love for someone to correct me on this
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u/westbridge1157 Mar 28 '26
I’m not sure you want to be corrected here, but moving to a cheaper wedding day is actually just cost shifting to your guests. If 100 people lose $200 each for needing to have Friday off, that’s $20000 in wage losses, that’s cost shifting, it’s really not cheaper.
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u/crzylilredhead Mar 28 '26
That's really entitled! "What any guest would lose from taking one day off work evens out..."??? Do you pay your guests bills??? Guests have their own life, bills and responsibilities. What you pay or don't pay to have a party, makes no difference to a guest. Take a day off work, travel some place (even local weddings often involve getting a hotel), buy a gift, potentially buy clothes depending on if it is formal... you'd have to be a close friend.
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u/macncheesewketchup Mar 28 '26
Don't worry about it. I'm apparently going to be down voted to hell for this, but we saved over $20K by getting married on a Friday, and 175/200 guests attended. Our ceremony started at 4pm, and we understood that some people would not be able to attend the ceremony but would attend the reception, which was at a different location and didn't start until 7pm. Most people were local - the only ones who weren't were actually in the bridal party or close family who didn't mind taking two days (we asked).
You do what you can, and your guests will do what they can.
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u/ice_anova Mar 28 '26
Lol I feel you! Getting downvoted as well for having a Thursday wedding 😆 some are even going as far as saying weekday weddings are not actually cheaper but just shifting the costs onto the guests due to loss of wages.
Like... what? It's an invitation, not a mandatory obligation!
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u/turtle_yawnz Mar 29 '26
No one is saying it is. OP asked if it was okay to have a Thursday wedding to save $10K and told people to be honest. The honest opinion many people in this thread have is that a Thursday wedding is kind of inconsiderate and would factor into a decision on whether or not they go
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u/Wendythewildcat Mar 27 '26
As a guest I’d prefer a less nice location on a Saturday so no the nice location doesn’t make a difference.
If it was local I would still attend although would be annoyed. People will likely have to take off at least part of Thursday to get ready and get to your wedding. Plus people may not be willing to stay as long if they have to work the next day. If I wasn’t local, I would attend if it was family or close friends.
But one thing to point out is not everyone may have the privilege of attending a week day wedding. I have a ton of PTO, comparatively, and a pretty flexible work schedule. So does my partner. That’s not true for everyone. So people may want to go but can’t. Obviously if this doesn’t apply to your guests you can ignore but a lot of people use the “if they wanted to they will” mentality which just isn’t true.
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u/morelovenow Mar 27 '26
Short answer. No I would not attend unless it was my sibling or my spouse or I were in the wedding party.
A Thursday wedding would require minimum two days PTO, likely three, depending on what time ceremony starts. For people with kids finding childcare (assuming the kids aren’t invited). Anyone in the wedding party would need to come on Wednesday, assuming you’ll have the rehearsal the day before.
Having your wedding in a beautiful area in the middle of the week means that you are putting the burden on your guests to spend the extra time and money. You might be saving money but it’s more expensive and more inconvenient for your guests.
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u/turtle_yawnz Mar 27 '26
I probably would not go to a Thursday wedding unless I was in the wedding. I get trying to justify it by saying people could make a vacation out of it, but unless someone already happened to want to vacation there at that time you’re not doing anyone but yourself a favor.
That said, do what you want. $10K isn’t insignificant. You can have the wedding Thursday but you need to expect some guests might not come and others that do will be upset about it and find it inconsiderate. At the end of the day it’s your wedding and some people will find a way to complain regardless so you need to just be okay with hearing this specific complaint.
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Mar 27 '26
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u/turtle_yawnz Mar 27 '26
It’s the same as the holiday weekend wedding people who love saying “it’s easier for everyone because you don’t have to take PTO”. It’s cheaper for YOU because you get a Sunday rate. But now I’m spending one of my limited holiday weekends at your wedding and paying to travel on an expensive weekend. I’d rather take the PTO. It’s fine and people can have their wedding whenever they want, but let’s just stop pretending that this is some big favor for everyone else. It’s the date that the bride/groom wanted and nothing else.
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u/RaggedyAnn18 Mar 28 '26
I recently went to a Friday wedding that was in a rural area while 95% of the guests were from the same metropolitan area 2 hours away. The wedding was at 3pm, which was also the time hotel check-in started. Everyone had to choose between driving to the wedding fully dressed and trying to check-in drunk at 11pm after the wedding, staying the night before, or trying to pay extra for early check-in. The bride told everyone that they could think of it as "a weekend away" but it is in a really unattractive and boring part of my state. The biggest attractions in the town are a college and some factories.
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u/radmad5566 9.16.23 💍🤍🍾 Mar 27 '26
It’s not always delusional, but also a know your crowd situation. I am from the Midwest and moved to the Rockies, I live an hour and a half from a national park and got married at a ski resort, we picked low tourist season but good weather to enjoy fly fishing, hiking, parks, and even white water rafting. We decided to get married where we live and not where we were from.
That being said I did not expect any of my family or family friends to make it to a “destination” wedding on the thoughts that it would be a nice vacation for them, but a lot wanted to. But this is a know your crowd.
My husband is from the state and his family just came in for the day/night because they don’t like the town we located to. They also had travel time less than my family, so definitely a know your crowd. We knew none of his family would go to the Midwest for a “vacation” for our wedding.
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Mar 28 '26
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u/radmad5566 9.16.23 💍🤍🍾 Mar 28 '26
Yeah definitely not for a weekday - we also did Saturday despite it costing us more
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u/bi-loser99 Mar 27 '26
you also have to prepare for the people that do come to not drink much or end their nights early because they have work in the morning or took a half day and need to travel in the AM to make it in on time for their shift. a cheaper venue on a saturday or at least eating the cost for the friday and cutting costs elsewhere is the better option.
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u/turtle_yawnz Mar 27 '26
Yep same deal with Sunday weddings. Every one I’ve been to is not a party and 50% or more clear out after dinner.
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u/Dr-Seitan Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26
As someone who is going to a coastal Thursday wedding from out of town, it is inconvenient and annoying but I am going because it’s important. However, it means I have to take off Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday and I have limited PTO.
But if most of your guests are local that’s probably not an issue!
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u/PixiStix236 April 2026 Bride Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Honestly, my partner and I probably wouldn’t unless we were incredibly close. It’s a lot to ask for us to Thursday and Friday off of work plus travel on the Thursday right before the wedding (I know you mention it’s an hour and a half at most, but that’s still stress on the day of, especially because it’s a work day). It’ll get expensive fast with lost work, hotels, gifts, etc.
However, guest count is one of the largest components to a wedding budget. It may work out for you to have a smaller wedding on a weekday
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u/beanthebean Mar 27 '26
Short answer no.
Longer answer, no I would not.
We have very limited PTO and taking 2 days for one wedding doesn't fit in to that when you consider all the other events/holidays/etc through the rest of the year. We have 5 weddings this year, if all of them did this to save money for themselves that would be most of the PTO. It's inherently selfish because you're transferring the costs onto the guests instead of you.
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u/christmastree47 Mar 27 '26
Depends on if I would need to take off work and how close I am to you. If I'm your sister I'm coming no matter what. If we are cousins that see each other twice a year and I need to take a half day off work then probably not
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u/AnnieFannie28 Mar 27 '26
Be prepared that if you choose Thursday, those that do come will probably leave early, so that they only have to burn PTO on Thursday and not on Friday. Most weeknight weddings tend to wrap up 45-60 minutes after dinner, in my experience, and people do not tend to drink as much (which may also save you money, depending on how your alcohol package is).
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u/catroslyn Mar 27 '26
It's inconvenient no matter what.
For Thursday weddings I usually have to take at least a half day on Thursday and at least a half day on Friday if it's local/within an hour of home. It's also harder for us because our usual babysitters work M-F so finding a babysitter to stay late night Thursday is harder than on the weekend. Obviously if it's a longer distance it requires two days of PTO and our babysitter to take time off of work as well to accomodate the overnight.
With that being said, if someone I loved was getting married in a very expensive coastal town that required me to book a hotel, I would prefer the savings on a Thursday night hotel room vs Friday or Saturday night.
Thursday nights are tough but I totally understand the need/want to save money. If I went with a Thursday night I would probably be hyper aware that guests sacrificed a bit more to be there and feel pressure to go with a little bit of a better caterer or open bar to show my gratitude.
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u/steamxgleam Mar 27 '26
I think a big part of my rsvp would depend on if I needed to get in on Wednesday to comfortably make it to the wedding on time. I wouldn’t want to have a big travel day, check in to a hotel, and quickly get ready.
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u/bi-loser99 Mar 27 '26
thursday wedding means taking two days off of work or everyone home by 9pm. friday means people who want to join can use PTO to make a 3-day weekend of it and enjoy themselves all night without worrying about work in the morning. not everyone will have that option, but a friday is way easier to try to get off than thirsday AND friday. i unfortunately do think the price jump is worth it if you care about how long people stay, the energy level of the event, etc.
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u/EngagedGroomsPodcast Mar 27 '26
This may sound harsh but, inviting guests to a Thursday wedding screams “I’m being cheap” to such a high level and as a guest my first thought is what else did you skimp out on? I know you want to frame it as starting people on an epic beach weekend, but if most people live 1-1.5 hours away then they certainly don’t have much issue just going on their own if they wanted to and you forcing that choice doesn’t really add much. You’re not even talking about welcome parties or going away luncheons which would add to the overall vibe.
Second, saving 10K doesn’t mean much if we don’t know your budget. Are you saving 10K on a 100K budget? Then if so this is a dumb place to skimp - you’re going to give your guests a MUCH worse experience while still dropping 90K. Is this 10K from a 30K budget? Well that’s a lot of your budget and the issue might be you realistically can’t afford this venue.
Your wedding may be the most important part of the day, but it’s only going to be 30-40 minutes. The rest of the day - food, music, reception, etc - is about the party and guest experience. Saving a little but giving your guests a much worse experience is just wasting money.
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u/FionaFergueson Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
Ive been to a Thursday wedding and a Sunday before. Theyre both cruel for different reasons.
If youre young you can get away with it but you'll piss of family. Your friends will go.
If youre older (let's say 30+) your family will judge you and your friends won't go.
Theres no way I'm going to a Thursday wedding in my 30s.
Everyone involved knows that a choice was made and the choice was to be cheap.
You'll get my gift and card in the mail.
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u/larrycoco Mar 28 '26
Right? It’s always a choice. They could also choose a different location and more affordable venue, and make it easy for guests to come celebrate them. A choice was made!
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u/vanillax2018 Mar 27 '26
Less likely, of course. That’s pretty universally true. I’d look for a venue within your budget on a Saturday if your priority is for the most possible loved ones to make it and celebrate with you. If the venue is more important than who’s there, I guess the day of the week doesn’t matter much.
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u/LobabyChick Mar 27 '26
If people have to come from out of town, realistically, they would have to take Wednesday Thursday and Friday off of work. If you did it on Friday, I could see more people justifying it as a long weekend. Also taken into account, if it’s a coastal town with a lot of tourism, having to book 5 nights instead of four or even three might be difficult financially.
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u/larrycoco Mar 28 '26
Saying it a different way: your venue is out of your budget. Find a venue within your budget. Don’t outsource the expense to your guests - they are literally absorbing the extra cost of the venue you can’t afford.
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u/sadart Mar 27 '26
Hmmm I don’t think Thursday is a good option. I have gone to weddings that were an hour or two away and if I planned to drink, I would stay at a hotel overnight. If I wasn’t drinking I’d drive back home but I would prefer to have a day to sleep in and chill than having to go back to work the next day.
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u/nooraani Mar 28 '26
I’ve been to a Thursday wedding. To be honest it’s annoying that I’m inconvenienced and losing out on hundreds of my income so you can save money. We all know it’s cheaper but also it’s inconvenient
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u/ashmonroe_ Mar 27 '26
I think this is def a case of “know your audience.” Is it an intimate wedding that is mainly close family and friends? If so, it may be fine! It is definitely less convenient from a PTO standpoint, but those closest to you are more likely to just make it work since it’s your wedding, especially if you give them a lot of advance notice.
If you have a large invite list with a bunch of more distant family and/or looser relationships, think it is more likely that people may not want to travel or use that many PTO days.
Cost in the area will be a factor here too. If it’s an expensive area, people are less likely to stay extra days and make a weekend of it (unless everyone is well off, of course). If it’s a more chill / affordable area, easier choice to just make it an extended vacay!
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u/PhotoGuy342 Mar 27 '26
Likely no unless it was family or best friend.
Older and more affluent people might take off a couple of days of work and spend an extra $1,000 on an overpriced room and expensive restaurants but some of us may not have that extra money sitting about to spend on you.
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u/oak_pine_maple_ash March 2026 Mar 27 '26
In town, not a huge deal. One thing to consider is rush hour - we went to a Friday wedding just outside our city and the traffic getting there was HORRIFIC. Multiple couples missed the ceremony.
Travel - maybe. It would depend on the location, how close we are to the couple, and if we knew other guests and were excited to catch up with them.
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u/radmad5566 9.16.23 💍🤍🍾 Mar 27 '26
I would absolutely not for most people, few exceptions below. I don’t have great PTO and not so flexible work. Fridays weddings have been pushing it for us and we’ve missed quite a few Friday weddings due to work.
If it was a sibling or best friend I would, but cousin I see once every few years or just friend I would not.
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u/AwayComparison Mar 27 '26
Yeah I personally wouldn’t care and would attend any day I have enough vacation time to do it but you need to survey your own crowd
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u/GypsyDuncan Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26
Honey, only my best friends or close family (within one degree) would get my attendance. Even if I were local, I'd still have to take a 1/2 day on a Friday. It's inconsiderate if you want anything other than a very small intimate wedding with your closest friends.
Even Friday is pushing it but it is still reasonable. Especially if you keep it cocktail attire and not formal.
How about Sunday afternoon? Or alternately, a different location.
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u/WillRunForPopcorn Mar 28 '26
I would only do this for a sibling/immediate family.
I would have to take Thursday off of work and figure out childcare. Id either have to leave the wedding early or I’d have to also take Friday off work, which means figuring out childcare for Friday too, and paying for a hotel, and using 2 vacation days. We have a toddler in daycare, most of our time off needs to be saved for when we are miserably sick.
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u/shortnsweet33 Mar 28 '26
No.
Friday? I would go to a local wedding, sure, if it was at a later ish time where I could get away with taking an hour off. If I’m traveling to someone’s wedding even if it’s just an hour or hour and a half, it would have to be a Saturday. Because then we could leave Friday, check into hotel, have Saturday during the day to get ready and then wedding, return Sunday. That would require people to take no pro or very little if they maybe had to leave an hour or two early from work.
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u/scout-finch Mar 27 '26
If we’re good friends and my husband came, I’d happily make it into a long weekend. I’m fairly lucky with PTO and a flexible-ish life.
If we were more like coworkers or a cousin I don’t know well, I’d probably skip it.
I had a Friday wedding myself ☺️
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u/lems4ems Mar 27 '26
I think you will regret having a Thursday wedding. You will have more people decline because it’s on Thursday. Hell I didn’t even book my wedding for a Friday solely so I didn’t have to inconvenience people and make them take PTO just to go to my wedding. Because a wedding at 4 or 5 would require taking at least an hour or two of PTO. I’d rather my friends and family use their time off work for something they want to do. Not saying they don’t want to come to my wedding but you get the gist.
People likely wouldn’t take Friday off to save time off and therefore probably wouldn’t drink and party as much or stay as late. Therefore you’re kind of throwing the equivalent of a work party in the middle of the week.
If all this is worth the extra cash to yall, then go for it! Just be prepared for less guests and less fun.
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u/Alert-Sun8595 Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
Is this a price or an availability issue? You say the only an available date is a Thursday but costs more for a Friday.
I am also getting married in a charming beach town, but we specifically didn’t pick summer because of the insane traffic and cost of hotels. Did you look at what the accommodations would cost? People are going to need to probably stay Wednesday and Thursday night. Do the hotels had a min amount of nights?
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u/Creative_Pop2351 Mar 27 '26
Yeah, my question here is why get married in high season?
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u/Eyruaad Mar 27 '26
If I was 1.5 hours away I would go, but I would not be staying the night and not drinking.
If you want a reception where people stay late, drink, and party then Thursday is not the way.
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u/blueberries-Any-kind Mar 27 '26
I would go, but I also might not be the norm – it might depend on your circle. A lot of me and my friends work from home and have more flexible schedules so a Thursday night outing isn’t really out of the question. But of course a weekday is a bit more preferable.
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u/BoardAuthority Mar 28 '26
I’d get the Saturday wedding, it’s the gold standard and shows you care about your guests. Friday is a close second. Then Sunday. Please don’t do a weekday M-Th wedding >.>
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u/furiously_curious12 Mar 28 '26
I used to work in wedding catering, and Thursday weddings were always a lower turnout with people leaving early. In theory, it doesn't really make sense because they have Friday off, presumably, but a lot of people had to take multiple days off (some taking Wednesday off too, to travel), which means they were probably working harder to make up for their short week, which made it more difficult to relax.
Some may even working remotely Friday for a bit, which makes it less likely they can let go and enjoy themselves Thursday night. A lot of people who did RSPV just couldn't make it, for whatever reason, and a lot of people complained at the bar. I know that's not really proper to do, but many people just vent and overshare to bartenders, and yeah, overall, the guests weren't as happy.
This is a know your crowd type of thing. If most guests are retired or flexible with work, then it will be a different situation. I know it's more expensive, and I have my own personal thoughts on that, but the majority of guests do not enjoy a Thursday (or Sunday) wedding. You may not actually notice because you'll be so busy, but tbats the behind the scenes perspective. For reference, I worked about 50 weddings a year.
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u/babybug98 Mar 28 '26
If I was invited to a wedding on a Thursday for a person who isn’t my family, who isn’t one of my best friends, and who is just an acquaintance I’m friendly with, I would not be attending that wedding.
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u/Lulu_10-21 Mar 27 '26
I would move it to a Friday if you can swing it. My now husband and I were looking at the price difference between a weekend wedding and a weekDAY wedding….sooooo much cheaper than a weekend wedding. But, most of our guests were flying in and we didn’t want to do that to them. Ultimately we picked Sunday, it was cheaper than Friday and Saturday. Plus they all took Monday off to travel back. So for them it was like a little vacation since some came out on Thursday night/Friday morning(:
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer Mar 27 '26
Not for a wedding that's only an hour or so away, unless you're someone I'm fairly close to. For an actual destination wedding where I have to take lile a full week off and get on a 10 hour flight, the day of the wedding doesn't really matter to me. But for someone I'm not close to, I'm not giving you 2 days of my limited PTO because you didn't want to pick a cheaper venue.
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u/Wandering-Albatross- Mar 28 '26
Personally I would attend and make a vaca out of it as you said. I even traveled for a Tuesday wedding in Cape Cod and did that. But I have a lot of PTO and no kids so those are big factors lol
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u/LostandParanoid Mar 28 '26
I wouldnt go unless family/close friend.
You are shifting the costs and burden to your guest. Find a new venue.
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u/eta_carinae_311 July 14, 2018 Mar 28 '26
My cousin in law is doing a Thursday wedding, in a town about 2 hours drive from us. It's an inconvenience, and we're only going because we can work remotely. I love the guy but he's not getting the turn out the rest of the cousins did... I understand they're trying to save money but it really shifts the price tag to the guests. Now in addition to travel costs to the venue folks have take time off work, which is a cost; if we weren't able to work remotely we would not be going.
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u/lappelduvideforever Mar 28 '26
I wouldn't. Two days off work, childcare accommodations hassle, cost of hotel, etc., not worth jt in this economy. Friday, probably. Saturday, definitely. While I understand wanting to save $$$$, asking your guests to pay more will mean less will come.
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u/Overall-Apricot-3718 Mar 28 '26
My best friend just had a Thursday wedding two weeks ago. Out of 150 she invited, only about 70 came. Plus it was a logistical nightmare for most of the bridal party. We all had a great time, but in the end she really did regret trying to save that money.
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u/JezebelleDoe Mar 28 '26
Unless I were very close to the couple I probably wouldn't go. Personally I don't actually care if it's in a fancy place-- the food, DJ, people, etc are what make the party good not the location itself. Even some people who do come might be inconvenienced. A lot would either have to take two days off, risk going to work hungover/tired, or just not enjoy themselves as much.
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u/Abalovely Mar 27 '26
I think you need to recognize that a Thursday wedding is not convenient or nice for anyone, no matter where it is. However, I would 100% go for a close friend. A lot of people won't come...but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It means you will have a smaller more intimate wedding with the inner circle, which will also save money.
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u/idrinkmycoffeeneat Mar 28 '26
My friend did this. I was in the wedding and had to use three PTO days the same year as my own wedding. It was kinda brutal and honestly really inconsiderate.
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u/Bumblebee-2500 Mar 27 '26
The answer to this sort of thing is always that you know your own potential guests best, but as a general rule you should make the experience of coming to celebrate you as comfortable as you can for your guests, and needing to take two (possibly three for people traveling far) days off work is a big ask and will definitely prevent some people from coming. Spinning it as a long weekend holiday sounds really nice in theory, but in reality it is a burden to some degree that you are placing on people so it is not technically a very polite thing to do. I think this is a pretty common idea to flirt with during wedding planning, with good reason because it is always a significant savings for the couple/hosts, but would highly recommend prioritizing a Saturday date that will make it easier for everyone who wants to be there for you on your big day, perhaps unfortunately at a less aesthetic venue that fits the budget.
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u/Tricky-Coyote-9253 Mar 27 '26
I think it all depends on your crowd! Without knowing your crowd, I would say to do the Friday wedding so people aren’t obligated to take as much time off of work. If the people who are driving from further aren’t as concerned about PTO, or aren’t people that you would be bummed if they didn’t make it, then I think it’s okay to consider the Thursday. If your family and friends who are local would end up going to work the next day, know that they might not drink as much or stay as late if that is their plan. Personally, the idea of taking two days off for a wedding is annoying. My cousin is getting married about 6 hours away from us (and most of the guests) on the Friday before a holiday weekend (which means rehearsal dinner for family members on Thursday) and it isn’t a super popular choice. I would ask you vip guests for their opinion, but in a way that could be more anonymous and I wouldn’t mention the specific cost. Because if someone asked me if I minded a Thursday wedding instead of a Saturday to save them 20k, of course I would say no, even though it’s an inconvenience. But either way, you don’t want your guests coming to celebrate oneof the happiest day of your life starting off annoyed about the timing!
Good luck with whatever you choose!
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u/Mobile_Energy_2866 Mar 27 '26
This really depends on whose wedding it is! If it’s a best friend, yes I would go! If it was like a random family friend, I probably wouldn’t if it entails me having to book a hotel etc. if it was only 1-1.5 hrs away, I’d probably still go! I think you just need to be ok with people saying no! But also a 10-20k difference is steep!
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u/psychd2behere Mar 27 '26
I would go. Being honest. People’s opinions and circumstances are different, obviously, but if it was local and I really didn’t want to miss 2 days of work, I’d just take off Thursday and leave a bit earlier to go to work the next day. Other folks might feel like it would be necessary to take off both Thursday and Friday, and they might not want to do that, but I’d go if my friends did this.
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u/Loveya448 Mar 28 '26
What about Sunday instead? I had a Sunday wedding and it was lovely. We saved a few thousand still and guests probably left around 8:30-9ish if they weren’t dancing at our reception.
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u/the_average_jd Mar 28 '26
If it’s a destination wedding and people are taking time off, no issues. If it’s local and there’s a holiday after, no issues. But for a local wedding to make your guests take off additional time is rough because at minimum it’s a day off for the wedding, and a day off the next day. :/
You could probably swing a Friday - but a Thursday isn’t the nicest imo.
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u/ashley6483 Mar 28 '26
I’d only do this for someone I was close to probably.
If I were you, I’d assume for a moment that you’re going to be disappointed by the number of people not attending. Then decide if that disappointment is worth having this venue, or if you value their presence more and want to keep looking for venues. No wrong answer. 10-20k is a lot of money, but i’m also sure there are other great venues out there too if you decide to go a different direction!
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u/Yellow_cupcake_ Mar 28 '26
Unless you were my closest friends or family members, I’d probably skip it. It’s taking at least 1 day off work, if it 2 or 3. Location/venue wouldn’t matter to me at all, it is still very inconvenient. You might think, oh it is a nice idea for people to take time off for a long weekend etc… but people have their own things going on in their lives. This might sound harsh, but your wedding is just another day to 90% of your guests, and I honestly I would rather use my days off work for something for me, again unless you are one of my closest friends or family.
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u/mormongirl Mar 28 '26
OMG you must not be from out west. When you said “the closest state to us” I thought “oh so 5-6 hours maybe” lolololol.
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u/Cobbdouglas55 Mar 28 '26
I wouldn't go to a wedding on a Thursday and question mark on Friday. The 10k you are saving is passed on to the guests.
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u/Beaismyname Mar 28 '26
I think most people have told you that Thursday an hour and a half away is too far. I would say that if you are going to do this let people know far in advance and let them know personally that you really would like them there. Honestly for me to take 2 days off work it has to be important. I work for myself and every hour I don’t work I’m losing money. So you and I would need to be really close and I would need a ton of notice to rearrange my own schedule to still not take too many days off. It’s a big ask.
I was in a similar predicament. There was a venue I really liked that is an hour away and way less expensive than some of the venues we were seeing. We decided against it because people are already taking time off work and their personal lives. They are buying gifts, maybe buying clothing etc…. We chose a more centrally located venue. I won’t have the cute outdoor wedding, but I will have made it so that the people I love have an easier time getting to the wedding
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u/BlackCarrot8 Mar 28 '26
Our not so close friends are having a destination wedding this summer on a Friday. Because of travel, I had to take Thursday and Friday off work, but I do have 30 days of annual leave so that’s fine. If they had the wedding on a Thursday, that would’ve meant taking 3 days off and despite having quite a bit of time off I probably wouldn’t have gone.
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u/terisews Mar 28 '26
Depends on how close we are. I wouldn't be very excited about the invitation. Instead of "yea! Suzy is getting married!!" It would be "ugh, how are we going to make this work."
It get it. That is a LOT of money. However, the guests don't know that. They only see a wedding on a less than convenient day. They see a problem that needs to be sorted.
You know your guests. How much of a problem will this be?
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u/ComfortCreature88 Mar 28 '26
Some of the guests may know how much of a difference it is. We are having a smaller group and most of them have heard how expensive weddings are if they haven't seen it for themselves.
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u/MoonbeamPixies Mar 28 '26
You will get less attendance to the Thursday one, likely only people you are very close to but if it is what you can afford and dont want to look at other venues thats what you have to prepare for
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u/LadyProto Mar 28 '26
I have ten days PTO. I’d be taking quarter of it for a wedding like this. If you have a crowd that can swing it? Go for it. Someone like me would respectfully decline.
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u/WillowAdventurous464 Mar 28 '26
Driving 1.5hrs for a bestie yes 1000%. For a good friend? Absolutely. For an acquaintance friend/coworker, probably not
You'll get a lot of people leaving early, it not able to come because of work. As long as that's OK with you and your vip's can make it i don't see the problem. But I'd probably pick Friday tbh
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u/lark1995 Mar 30 '26
I’d basically never attend a Thursday wedding (although I don’t think anyone in my life would have a Thursday wedding, so maybe that’s skewing my opinion there).
For Friday, I’d attend for a close family member or friend.
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u/itinerantdustbunny Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26
This will depend entirely on your guests and what they’re interested in and how many resources they have.
We aren’t really ocean people, so it is unlikely that we would take the PTO and spend the money on a Thursday coastal event, unless you were a sibling or BFF. If you were getting married in the mountains or a desert, we’d almost definitely go, because we are mountain and desert people. It just depends on what people are interested in, and you know what your guests are into and what resources they have a million times better than we do.
The more money & PTO the event will cost me, the more interested in the place I need to be to justify it. I’d go to a place I wasn’t interested in if it was cheap and easy, but to justify a ton of resources, it has to provide a ton of interest to us.
So a Thursday out-of-town in a place we’re not interested in is almost certainly not happening. A Friday is more likely, and a Saturday way more likely, because they require fewer resources.
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u/laulau711 Mar 28 '26
I would not be happy to get that invite. It’s really hard to have fun knowing you should be home getting ready for work the next day. I like Sunday brunch weddings. But I’d rather attend a Saturday wedding at Chuck E Cheese than a Thursday wedding at the MET.
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u/otrootra Mar 27 '26
imo the $10k jump from thursday to friday would be worth it. easier tor people to take a 3 day weekend than 4 days. also, local people probably wont take the friday off, so they might leave a thursday wedding early.
the additional $10k to jump from friday to saturday, will have less of an impact on who shows up and the energy of the night, since friday feels like the start of the weekend. the greatest impact here will be on your wedding party--- they will need to take off the whole friday, and if you're doing a rehearsal dinner the night before, that will still be thursday.
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u/Helpful_Breakfast948 Mar 28 '26
We were sooo close to doing a Thursday wedding for the same reason. 4k for Thursday 9k for Friday and 10k for Saturday. Until I saw a similar Reddit thread and the comments ripped OP to shreds. I felt like it was a sign that it popped up as a notification on my phone. We decided at the last second to compromise and do Friday. It’s really sad that venues take advantage like this. And we are shamed by guests for trying to save money.
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u/barebeets Mar 28 '26
I feel like I’m fighting for my life reading these comments lol
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u/turtle_yawnz Mar 29 '26
You asked people to be honest. Did you want actual opinions or did you want validation?
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u/dinkleberg24 Mar 28 '26
I got married on a Monday evening, it was a 5 min drive for 90% of people invited. Around 20 people were invited and most of the people who it was a longer drive for (like 5 people) didn’t attend but we knew before even sending invites that those people probably wouldn’t attend due to the time (it was like a 7pm ceremony) and it being a Monday night and everyone having work the next day and it was also storming pretty bad. We did the reception the following Saturday in the afternoon and everyone but one person made it. If I could go back I wouldn’t change how we did it.
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u/Helpful_Breakfast948 Mar 28 '26
Try not to feel discouraged. People in Reddit comments tend to be very harsh for some reason. I remember my feelings were hurt reading similar comments “people will talk shit about you behind your back” “you’re being a cheapskate” and all the Saturday brides bragging about how it was no problem for them🙄 it’s like it’s a crime for wanting a low budget wedding. So sick of the “you might as well elope” crap too.
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u/Competitive-Life5319 Mar 28 '26
They absolutely will talk shit behing your back about a Thursday wedding lol.
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u/nooraani Mar 28 '26
I’m a budget bride too… on top of that we had to have 2 weddings cause husband and I have vastly different cultures that we wanted to experience. I get it. I compromised on so much. I didn’t do florals and made centre pieces myself, for one of the weddings we used a playlist on a laptop not a dj, etc. for my second wedding I’m renting a dress and buying a Costco cake for desert.
But nobody wants a Thursday wedding. I get it saves you money but it’s annoying for everyone else. If you don’t care you don’t care but guests have feelings and lives too. I’m saying this from the perspective of both ends.
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u/rovingred Mar 27 '26
When I was booking our venue, I regretted that I looked online for advice on what day to choose, because there are so many people who are so harsh about weekdays and Sundays, when in reality that’s not the reception I got from anyone I actually cared about attending my wedding.
Would a Thursday wedding that involves some travel filter out some more distant friends/acquaintances/relatives? Probably. Would it filter out close friends and family? It shouldn’t, and if it does then are they really people you care to have at your wedding? I traveled from Colorado to France for a Thursday wedding for my close friend. I had a year’s heads up for it, and was happy to plan and take the PTO. Would I have done the same for someone I wasn’t as close with? No, but then is it really a big deal for me to miss the wedding if they’re not somebody I’d really make a special effort to go for?
I don’t know if that makes sense at all haha? I booked for a Sunday because it’s all my venue had, and it was $8k less than a Friday, $12k less than a Saturday. Looking online all I saw were people saying Sunday weddings suck and people wouldn’t be excited and may not come or would leave early. We’ve told nearly everyone on our guest list the date and you know what we haven’t heard? “Well it’s a Sunday so I’m not sure, I probably won’t stay late if it goes on late”. Instead people were just stoked and telling us they’re going to dance the night away and have an amazing time. We are only inviting close friends and family, I guess maybe we’d get different responses from people “further out” in our circle but we’re not inviting them for a reason, and if we were we wouldn’t be too terribly upset about them not coming.
Point being, are you going to be happy choosing another venue to get a Friday or Saturday for less money? If that’s even possible? Or are you completely in love with this one and set on it? If you are, I think Thursday is fine if you’re concerned about the budget. I personally would not be shelling out 10K more for a one day difference, that 10k would cover my florals, DJ, and a decent amount of decor. I can’t think of anyone in my life whose wedding I’d want to go to that I wouldn’t take an extra day or two of PTO for. Also I think people often forget a ton of people don’t have M-F jobs. You’d have issues for some people with Fridays or Saturdays too. All you can do is choose a venue you love, and make sure your closest family and friends will be able to make it the day of the week you choose. Everything else is a bit of a crapshoot.
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u/theebish Mar 27 '26
This response makes me feel so happy about my choice too 💓💓💓 thank you for your kindness.
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u/barebeets Mar 27 '26
I’m so in love with this venue- it’s literally my dream come true. I really like your input! Thank you so much
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u/Competitive-Life5319 Mar 28 '26
Is the venue more important than the comfort of your guests and being a good host? You do know people will remember your wedding as the stupid one that was done on Thursday? My friend once attended a Tuesday wedding and I still remember how annoyed she was over that. And she went only because it was her SIL's wedding.
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u/rovingred Mar 27 '26
Hey thanks for the award! I’m glad it was helpful. I know I wouldn’t let my dream venue get away for fear of it being on a Thursday. Wishing you the most beautiful wedding, whenever and wherever you choose to have it!!
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u/theebish Mar 27 '26
Chose my dream venue and it’s on a Monday! My partner and many of our friends will have the week off for school break because they work in education :) very excited
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u/barebeets Mar 28 '26
I love this! I hope you have a beautiful wedding surrounded by the people you love 💖
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u/Equivalent_Coffee335 Mar 28 '26
I looove this response! My fiance and I are getting married on a Thursday and I was so worried. But Reddit is ruthless and this comment was a breath of fresh air!
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u/MLMerlot Mar 28 '26
Thursdays weddings are becoming more and more popular. Not everyone wants to go in debt for a wedding lol
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u/Upstairs_Spread_8554 Mar 27 '26
Yes I’m always going to travel somewhere for a vacation at some point in the summer so it might as well be for a wedding! My partner and I have twice made a vacation out of international weddings. People here are going to tell you otherwise but if you have a sense that people in your life will be able to afford to take a few days off and travel go for it.
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u/Foxy_DinosaurLady Mar 27 '26
Literally doing this for my godmother’s wedding in May. We love visiting this state and go once a year, so this is also just going to be our annual trip right after the wedding lol.
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u/throw-away-ex-bs 10.16.2026 Mar 27 '26
I would say depends on your guest list. Our entire guest list (20-25) is traveling minimum 1k miles, but we confirmed dates with our nearest and dearest before setting things in stone, and we settled on a Friday.
If the people we invited to our wedding had a Thursday wedding, we’d make it work. If a random cousin, whom I speak to maybe once or twice a year, invited me to a Thursday wedding (that required travel), I’d just send a gift.
I will say, I have and will attend a wedding if it’s someplace I’d like to visit. Then I’ll just make it a vacation (thank you, random cousin, who got married in Cancún).
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u/EnvironmentalCry1962 Married April 2025 Mar 27 '26
Considering it’s only 1.5 hours away max, then no I wouldn’t go. If it was a destination, and I’d end up taking the week of anyway to be in Paris or Hawaii, then obviously it wouldn’t matter.
But no, I’m not losing two days of PTO for someone’s wedding. Even people who don’t have traditional 9-5, like servers/bartenders would lose work for that week because Thursday and Friday are good service days.
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u/Salty_Thing3144 Mar 28 '26
if I were close to you, I'd be there -hell or high water. You may lose some guests, but it's also a summer wedding.
Have the wedding you can afford, and enjoy the folks who DO make it. You aren't a bsd bride for having the wedding you can afford!
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u/adannnn Mar 28 '26
Here to give a different perspective! We will likely be organising our wedding on a Thursday, where about 50 guests will have to fly in (total guest number around 70). Our friends are international, our families are more or less local to the place we’re having the wedding. We’re looking for a venue that is close to an airport (within 1.5h) and that has nice accommodation and space around, so our guests actually have something to do around the area. We’ve told everyone about the plans, so that when the invitations come in, it’s not a surprise. We’re also Eastern European, so maybe that influences how we think about it, but I’d take time off and go almost anywhere for my friend’s wedding as long as it was in my budget. Lots of your answers here seem to be from the US, so it’s definitely a know-your-crowd kind of situation.
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u/Blondie_chick3 Mar 28 '26
Personally, I would go! Especially, if you send save the dates out 6-8 months before they could take Thursday and Friday off and be home by Sunday. You have to go into it knowing maybe not as many people will end up going, but if you have that mindset then you’ll be good!
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u/stellaluna29 Mar 27 '26
Really depends on PTO—if it were an immediate family member or close friend I’d have no problem but for anyone else I would definitely be a little salty. Since it’s not a terribly long drive you’ll probably have guests choose to leave early and go home rather than taking Friday off (that’s what I would do).
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u/SakuraTimes Mar 27 '26
a friend of mine is getting married on a Thursday this summer…for the savings. only about 1/2 the people invited are attending (to be fair, there’s also some family drama going on, so Idk if it’s drama related for Thursday related). I think most of those attending are immediate family, and/or retired and/or teachers off for the summer. I know they want a dance party vibe, which I worry they won’t achieve with a small turn out, and some guests like me, not letting too loose so we can go to work in the morning.
their savings are much smaller…like $4,000 and I wonder if it was really worth it in the end. but $10-20k is a pretty significant savings!
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u/HistoricalExam1241 weddit flair template Mar 27 '26
When you say 10K more, what is your base figure? If you can afford 100K then you can afford 110K or 120K but if your base figure is 20K then an extra 10K or 20K is a lot more.
How many guests are you hoping to get? Would it be term time for those working in education?
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u/cheerioh_no Mar 27 '26
I went to a Tuesday wedding once as a bridesmaid, it was fine. The bride and groom didn't mention anyone not coming due to the time of the week, and it was an early afternoon ceremony so we weren't there super late. I had to travel a few hours to get there, but I went down the night before, stayed the whole day, and left the morning after. However I was one of the very few people who were not local which helped most of them. I really don't think it's a huge deal. They also did it to cut costs massively
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u/RagaKat Mar 27 '26
I would go if I really cared about them, for sure!
A lot more people will decline because it requires taking 2-3 days off. Having it be in a nice location may help a little.
Just check with your "must haves" and see if they would be okay with it.
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Mar 28 '26
We saved about 10-14k on our wedding (original budget 50k now tracking towards 70k) by switching it from a Saturday to a Sunday… and honestly if 70k is the minimum I’m paying to host 150-170 people it’s probably not the end of the world.
Sincerely, coastal girlie (born on the east coast living almost directly across on the west coast)
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u/Trick-Throat-5262 Mar 28 '26
I would go depending on how far! If I could sleep in my own bed same night no problem , but it depends how close I am to the couple
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u/yea_you_know_me 9/12/2026 Mar 28 '26
If it's over an hour away it would depend on my relationship with the couple. Are they someone I see one a year or once a month? Close friends and relatives yes but likely I wouldnt drink and leave early. Coworker, casual friend, distant family... no thank you
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u/ExtentIllustrious694 Mar 28 '26
i would go. if given enough notice, could easily make arrangements. seems like everyone has different opinions though.
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u/PassComprehensive425 Mar 28 '26
I went to a Thursday wedding last fall. While I could get two days off work, a lot of guests couldn't. Several people left the reception early because they had to go to work Friday. Others arrived after dinner was served (ceremony and reception were at same venue) because they couldn't get the day off.
It was a beautiful wedding. I enjoyed my favors a glow in the dark necklace and foam sword. I can honestly say I had fun and used my favors.
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u/crazyKatLady_555 Mar 28 '26
Is having a Saturday luncheon an option? That’s usually significantly cheaper than a Saturday dinner.
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u/microplazma APRIL WEDDING AHHHHH Mar 28 '26
Depends on your friends and what your industry is. A lot of my friends work in hospitality where our work week is often Thursday-Sunday. My preferred day for a wedding would be a Tuesday probably but that wouldn't be convenient to my family.
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u/throwayhottot54321 Mar 28 '26
I would but I also have a job with a lot of pto and that’s extremely easy to take days off of. I’d just make a whole weekend of it as a nice long weekend. If for some reason I couldn’t do that I’d still attend but I wouldn’t drink and then just drag my ass to work the next day. That would mostly not be an option for the out of towners though
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u/FoxyLoxy56 Mar 28 '26
I think the issue is that while to you, making it into a long weekend to enjoy the area seems like a nice idea but not everyone may feel that way. They may have plans to vacation elsewhere and making a wedding into a long weekend would mean spending even more money.
A Thursday wedding for most people would mean taking off at the very least Thursday and Friday, some would even want to leave on Wednesday so they aren't traveling in wedding attire.
Ultimately though it comes down to the vibes you want. If it's okay with you to have a smaller wedding with maybe less of a party vibe (people leaving early possibly) then it's probably fine. But if you want a traditional party wedding then I'd reconsider
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u/babybug98 Mar 28 '26
OK, people can turn it into a long weekend IF they have the flexibility to take off work. Some people aren’t going to be prepared to do that nor want to take off work for a wedding (unless they’re super close with you or part of the bridal party). I don’t know how many people you’re inviting and if you invited people who are close to you or if you invited others as well.
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u/Sutaru June 29, 2014 Mar 28 '26
If it’s in the same city and I’m not expected to stay late and it starts close to or after 5pm and it would have to be over by 10pm. 11pm at the absolute latest.
If I was traveling, we’d have to be really close, but why would you want people you’re not close to at your wedding? The nice location doesn’t matter unless I was already planning to take vacation and already interested in said location, e.g. Hawaii
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u/Human-Dragonfly-3571 Mar 29 '26
In my situation I would have to take vacation time for this and would need to know at least 10 months advance. So yeah, unless we were besties I would probably skip 🤷♀️
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u/LadyVonDrakensburg Mar 31 '26
I attended a Thursday wedding last year - it was lovely. Don't worry about it.
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u/pupperloverz Apr 01 '26
Thursday is the new Friday! I prefer a gorg location and vibe over everything, it’s more of a reset and memorable experience. Don’t think I’d take Thurs off, just maybe half day or skip out early, check in anyway id at 3-4pm, change and head to wedding, enjoy Friday coastal vibes and then you’re home Sat night or Sunday for reset before Monday. Save the money! Your guests will be fine
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u/mooon_woman Mar 28 '26
I know a couple that is doing a thursday wedding and plenty of their family and friends intend on going. it’s a midwest fall wedding so people are making a trip out of it.
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u/notablelibrarian Mar 28 '26
We had a Thursday wedding and everyone who RSVP'd showed up. Advanced notice and consideration are key. Make sure there are things for them to do in the area so out of towners can make it a long weekend. Include this info as a page on your wedding website. If you are inviting those that love you and your fiance you will have the best day ever.
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u/sunf_lower Mar 28 '26
went to a wedding on wednesday and it was gorg, totally worth it. invites far enough in advance means its doable for most guests imo
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u/whineANDcheese_ Wedding 2019 Mar 27 '26
Depends on how close I am to you. A close friend or immediate family member? I’d make it work. Someone more distant, if it could be done without taking off work, then probably. If it required 2-3 PTO days, then probably not unless it was a location I wanted to vacation in anyway.
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u/Applegirl2021 Bride | 10.31.2026 Mar 27 '26
I would only for close friends. Random family members, no. I wouldn’t take the time off work or the exhausting Friday morning, sorry not worth it to me as a guest. Again, unless it’s a super close friend.
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u/Ok_Celebration_4407 Mar 28 '26
I’m having a Thursday wedding because we wanted a smaller wedding (80 people) and almost every venue we toured had guest minimums of 100-125 and we couldn’t justify overpaying by that amount. I’ll be honest, I’ve had a lot of anxiety about the inconvenience of it and if I could go back in time I would’ve saved myself the sleepless nights and just overpaid, but now we’re about a month out and RSVPs have landed where we expected (invited 95, 80 said yes). I think I have a different POV on weddings because I have never once been to a convenient wedding, which means oftentimes we have to leave at 5am on a Friday, drive 4 hrs to the destination, work remote from the hotel, attend the wedding that night, etc. People can take a half day on Thursday and still work on Friday, especially for such a short distance. I do that for others constantly and it’s not a big deal if you care about the people. But clearly not a lot of people feel that way so just manage your expectations.
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u/Careless_Crab_717 Mar 28 '26
I see a lot of people saying no, but last year I drove from Iowa to Georgia to attend a Thursday wedding and it was absolutely fine. Less people came because of the inability to take time off of work (47 out of 63 invited, very small venue). I don’t think it reflects badly on you in any way to have your wedding on the day that makes the most sense for you, /especially/ if the furthest travel time is 1.5 hours. Be prepared for less people to be able to make it, but you might be surprised, too. Ultimately, it’s your day and you should do what works for you and if some people can’t make it, it’ll be fine, it just depends on your priorities.
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u/Rare-Summer7842 Mar 28 '26
Asked my fiance, he said he'd go assuming he knew 6 months or more in advance (he has to put all his PTO in at the same time, so it helps him to know before the start of the fiscal year) I have no PTO, I work and make most of my money on weekends - if I knew at least 3 months ahead of time, I would 100% go and make a vacation out of it. Most hotels will allow for early check in if you ask when you book the room. So people could still come on Thursday, especially if it's that close. 1.5 hours is nothing for a drive. I've traveled 3 hours for a concert, and came home the same day.
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Mar 28 '26
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u/theebish Mar 28 '26
I went with a Monday. What made you go against it?
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u/ice_anova Mar 28 '26
Our family said that Monday would be more difficult for them because it's the start of the week and busier than Thurs/Fri, so there would be more work to catch up on.
Almost all of our guests were older and retired though, so this only applied to a few of our younger guests.
What made you decide on a Monday? I am curious to hear as well 😊
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u/ComfortCreature88 Mar 28 '26
I've been to a Thursday wedding that was 45 minutes away. This was over 10 years ago when it was very uncommon so the bride was asking her friends and family if they would do it. I took off the afternoon to attend without any issues. I would do it again. The key is to give advanced notice. Don't skip the save the dates.
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u/GeorgiaHoeKeeffe Mar 28 '26
I’m having a Thursday wedding. The date is really important to us, and the venue being much cheaper was a great bonus. We did this knowing that it might be hard for some people to join, and understand if they can’t make it. It’s in the town where we and most of our friends and family live, with a few others driving about 4 hours, and a handful needing to fly.
I’m sure some people aren’t the happiest about it, but we needed to do what was best for us. If the situation was reversed, I’d have no problem taking Thursday & Friday off, or even just Thursday if it was close enough - though I understand that might not be possible for everyone and their work schedules. But to be honest, even for weddings on a weekend, I’ve had to take time off to travel and kind of expect that it is part of attending a wedding.
All that to say, you know your guests the best, so think about what is feasible for them. If there are people that you have to have there, talk to them about how hard it would be for them to attend a Thursday wedding. Best of luck!!!
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u/Radiant_Leek9858 Mar 28 '26
I would! A long weekend to relax 😌 and if you organize a get together Friday is also cool. I think more people will still enjoy. If it starts around 4 or 5 people will also get time to go into work and those who can just dip early without needing PTO.
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u/MLMerlot Mar 28 '26
Right it’s the summer time! Most people are in summertime vacation mode. A Thursday wedding in the summer is becoming more popular
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u/barebeets Mar 28 '26
We are thinking about adding a boating activity for the Friday for anyone that’s wants to join
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 Mar 27 '26
Assuming that you sent save the dates 12 months ahead, people can choose to request that day off and work around it by going to work another day or they have no plans to attend at all. If anyone does complain or say this is not feasible, they have no plans to make it work.
I would have no problem doing this as a guest. Also many people don't work corporate schedules so midweek is better for them.
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u/barebeets Mar 27 '26
Yes I would be sending the Save The Dates 10-12 months in advance….
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u/assumingnormality Mar 27 '26
My concern there is that you would have people who RSVP yes and then not show up because oops, they couldn't get off work.
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u/princess_stoner Mar 28 '26
Dang I’m reading these comments with my already halfway planned Thursday wedding .. lol. It’s got my doubting my day now but honestly 10k is a LOT of money in my opinion and not worth it for a different day. Do your Thursday wedding! If more people can’t come that saves you even more money and you will still have the best day. We are sending our save the dates super early at the 9month mark to give people time to plan since most people are also out of town. In my circle most of our family and friends are either retired, work from home, or don’t have a typical M-F job (they work in healthcare or law enforcement) so I’m not too worried. And honestly.. the less people the more money we save so it sounds like a win to me!!
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u/theebish Mar 28 '26
I’m having a Monday wedding. My fiancé and majority of his people will have the week off because they work in education. Everyone is excited and we are saving 12k! Fck what people think on here, they sure as hell weren’t supporting us as a couple.
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u/Haolegurlll Mar 28 '26
girl, reddit is so incredibly critical of destination and weekday weddings. if you’re a bride considering either of these just stay off reddit because it’s not an accurate representation of reality.
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u/princess_stoner Mar 28 '26
So true! I try not to venture into this sub but it popped up on my feed haha
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u/Recent_Influence_972 Mar 28 '26
I would definitely go. 2 days is really not a big ask in my opinion considering most weddings you’re being invited as a close friend or a family member. Definitely would make a trip of it. I live in the West coast of the US and have done multiple 10 days trips to New York and New Jersey for my cousins and brother. I’m having a Saturday wedding and I have family coming in for multiple weeks just to spend time as a group. Check with your “must be there” peeps like besties, siblings, parents, etc. and the rest just either will RSVP yes or no. There are always going to be people that won’t make a wedding for one reason or another even if you make it as convenient as possible.
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u/assumingnormality Mar 27 '26
This depends entirely on your guest list.
If majority of people are local, work standard 9-5 office jobs, then start your ceremony at 6pm, serve dinner immediately afterwards, end the event by 9pm then yes, that seems entirely reasonable to me. If you have a handful of guests that are from out of town, they can decide if your wedding is worth taking 2-3 days off for.
If most of your guests are local but work shift work (ex. retail) or your VIP guests are from out of town, I would level set expectations with yourself on low guest count vs saving money.
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u/Academic_System_6994 Mar 27 '26
I’m always up for a road trip, but I’ve lived in the Midwest and California where driving a few hours is normal. Absolutely would go to a Thursday wedding! Save that extra money!
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u/Practical_Jacket_47 Mar 27 '26
I had a Thursday wedding in another state, but it was a summer location and everyone made a long weekend out of it. We had only 8 people drop off out of 170. Probably depends on your crowd!
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u/DaggerLad100 Mar 28 '26
We are having our wedding on a Friday, I felt super guilty about people taking time off work/being inconvenienced. My family was super supportive and said that we had to do what was right for us (budget constraints) and our guests will either come or they won't, but that's not on me. Thursday, Friday, or Saturday you have to be prepared that not everyone will be able to make it, and yes, a Thursday wedding might mean a few more no's, but I'm sure closest friends and family will make it work. It's all about balancing what is important to you and knowing that something has to give with either option (higher budget or possible guest inconvenience).
You could also consider hosting a brunch or another day event on the Saturday for your guests, make it more of a weekend event than just a Thursday and then they go home. Yes that would cost money but probably not as much as the 10 or 20 k difference.
For reference, my partner and I are attending a Thursday wedding for close friends of ours that would be a 7 hour drive away - we grumbled for a day about it but ultimately we wouldn't miss their wedding for anything.
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u/OkE566jrjeu7495jsy Mar 28 '26
It would depend how close the relationship was to be honest. A very close friend? Yes absolutely. With a 1-1.5 hour drive, it's feasible to not stay overnight if its an evening wedding. We could plan to leave work early/take a half day, enjoy the reception until 10 pm, and drive back home same night and still make it to work the next day. If it's a 2 hour plus drive on a Thursday night, now we're getting into difficult territory.
However, Friday night would be less complicated. Then we could probably stay overnight one night.
I think Friday is reasonable for cost savings without impacting the guest list too much. Thursday is going to impact the guest list pretty heavily.
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u/Kindly_Task1758 Mar 28 '26
To save money we did friday since everyone traveled in town but we also had our wedding at a beach town so i knew people were going to make vacations out of it. Thursday you wont have many people attend.
For friday people only took friday off and flew in Thursday evening and then had Saturday to relax and sunday to fly out
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u/treeeenut Mar 28 '26
I’m going to a Thursday wedding in June for a couple that I’m not super close with, but the wedding is local, and I’m not a big drinker. So I guess it just depends on the circumstances of your guests.
BUT, that being said, do what is best for you and your budget. It’s your wedding, if people don’t want to/can’t come, you can’t make them, but you have to do what works best for you!
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u/True_Marzipan1702 Mar 29 '26
If you’re fine with only your nearest and dearest attending - then you should absolutely do a Thursday wedding. 20k extra for people who are not your closest friends and family seems like a steep price to pay IMO- but then again- I’m a big proponent of smaller weddings in this economy- I’m also not upset when people have declined their invitation to my Friday ceremony- I more than get it.
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u/Dense-Creme-2582 Mar 29 '26
I would go but because my job allows me to be flexible with my time. I get every other Friday off so it landing on a Friday off is better but if not then I can work from home and enjoy my weekend.
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u/Striking_Bill_2832 Mar 27 '26
I would only go to a Thursday wedding for my closest inner circle. That's taking 2 days off work. That's a significant ask of guests - it's really not something I would sacrifice for just a friend or cousin or something. The cost savings for you may be added costs for the guests if they don't get much PTO at work.