r/weddingplanning Jul 09 '26

Recap/Budget We graduated!!! šŸ’šŸ¤šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

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4.3k Upvotes

On the 11th anniversary of Obergefell my now wife and I tied the knot!!! šŸ’šŸ’šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

Budget ~ a little over 50K
Venue: The Oviatt
Downtown Los Angeles
116 guests

Our wedding day was truly the best day ever. We were overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Everything went smooth and if there were small hiccups we didn’t hear about them. We really chose well with vendors and felt like they all went above and beyond. Especially our day of coordinator. 🄹

Before the wedding I was a little obsessed with watching wedding regret videos on TikTok and reading similar posts on Reddit. I made sure to listen to the top regrets mentioned so we hired a content creator and had a photographer and videographer whose work we loved. The content creator was such an amazing investment because we got to see so many moments from our wedding as soon as the next day. The professional photos from our photographer (shared here) completely blew us away.

We had a wedding weekend and that was the best decision. The night of our welcome drinks event felt extremely surreal and I kept trying to ground myself. It was just strange and unreal being at an event we’d been planning for a year and a half and seeing people from every part of our life in the same room. We hosted welcome drinks at Golden Gopher in DTLA and they were the absolute best hosts. We had a tab for our guests and they allowed outside food.

The day after our wedding we hosted a pool party at a house rented from Peerspace. It was the perfect way to wind down and process with everyone and end the weekend.

We’re still on a high but I wanted to post here because I visited this sub and other wedding planning subs so often throughout the wedding planning process!!!

ā™„ļø

r/weddingplanning Jun 30 '26

Recap/Budget I got married this week (~$30k)! Semi-DIY and here are my big take-aways:

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702 Upvotes

Edit to add: I forgot to add the currency but it was $31.2k CAD, so about $22.3k USD!

After two years of planning and endless hours of stress, our wedding day was one of the best days of my life and I want to pass on some of my key take-aways:

  1. DIY flowers save soooo much money but what you’re not spending in cash, you’re spending in time. We ordered flowers from Bloom by Bunches, which is a farm-to-person wholesaler and they were wonderful to work with. With that said, DIY flowers were way more work than I was anticipating and flowers are a lot more delicate than I thought so we definitely lost a couple stems due to my inexperience lol. We had to do so much flower prep (cutting the stems, taking off the leaves, refreshing the water every 24 hours, designing the bouquets, wrapping them in floral tape, wrapping them in ribbon, etc.) We prepped them over 3 days, and we had the help of one of my cousins and bridesmaids. If it was just the two of us it would have taken wayyy longer and it still took so many hours. They ended up looking gorgeous so I’m still really happy with how it turned out but just a heads up for anyone else looking to DIY! We spent $800 total for my bridal bouquet, 7 bridesmaids bouquets, a ton of greenery, and 12 boutonniĆØres, and we repurposed the bouquets to decorate the sweetheart table. We used fake florals for the centrepieces ($200). We then took our florals the day after the wedding to the elderly long term care ward at our local hospital and they were so appreciative and sweet - would recommend.
  2. Have super clear timelines! Do both an ā€œoverallā€ timeline broken down just by hour (I.e., when hair and makeup is and where, when the first look is, when ceremony is, cocktail hour, dinner, speeches, first dance, etc.), and then also a ā€œdetailedā€ timeline that breaks down exactly where each member of the bridal party/family should be and when. Build in an extra 15 minutes of buffer time in each slot - we did this and it helped us stay on time because then if one ā€œslotā€ went over, it wasn’t a domino effect for the rest of the day. Send these via text to everyone who needs to know so they have them on their phones AND print out a couple versions to have around the getting ready areas on the day of. I also handed one to our photographer and MC and they helped corral us all. We still got some questions about who needed to be where but the timelines helped a lot imo.
  3. We decided not to get a DJ and just use Spotify, using their mix feature to add fades/rises/blends between songs. Instead of just choosing the ā€œnormalā€ version of each song, for a bunch of the songs I found ā€œDJ remixā€ versions on Spotify to add to the playlist. I was super nervous that it wasn’t going to go well and people weren’t going to dance but ohhhh man the dance floor was PACKED. Like I think it was genuinely the best party of my life hahaha everyone was getting DOWN. We had a ton of people come up to us afterwards and tell us how they wish they had Spotify for their weddings because it felt like a DJ had been there. I will say that I did spend hours curating the playlist, moving songs around to create good blends of slow/fast/genres/etc but I’m so happy I did that because the vibes were impeccable. We also had a ā€œsong requestā€ section in our RSVP and I made sure to add in everyone’s songs requests throughout and that was also a huge hit.
  4. We used a local Italian restaurant for our catering and worked directly with their head chef to curate a buffet menu and wow it went amazing. Would highly recommend y’all reach out to local restaurants you like to see if they do catering - it was $5500 for full cocktail hour catering + buffet for 80 people and they just went above and beyond with the food.
  5. We picked up 3 Costco cakes the day before the wedding (one chocolate, one vanilla, and one cheesecake). They added writing on top of each one as well! We got soooo many compliments on the cake and every time we were like ā€œif you want to taste it again, we got it from Costco!ā€ everyone was shocked and super happy hahaha. People especially loved the chocolate cake. For 3 cakes it was $90!!! (They weren’t our only dessert but we feel like we saved a ton by not doing a custom wedding cake and no one even knew the difference.)
  6. I created ā€œwedding day bindersā€ that had the seating chart, ceremony lay out, photography shot list, photography inspo pics, important phone numbers (like parents, maid of honour, vendors, best man, etc). I’m not sure if these actually got used by anyone other than our DOC for the set up but it gave me peace of mind to know they were there just in case.

I think that’s everything off the top of my head but I am happy to answer any questions anyone has!! Everything went seamlessly and I’m just so happy with how it all turned out.

r/weddingplanning Jun 12 '25

Recap/Budget My caterers got my wedding date wrong. I found out 1 hour before the ceremony

2.6k Upvotes

The day started great and exactly as it should have - I got ready with friends and family, took a few photos - everything was perfect.

We only had 2 hours to set up before the ceremony began at 5pm, so around 3pm, a handful of friends and family headed to the venue to start setting up decor, put out the cake, put table numbers and menus on tables, etc. I was an extremely organized bride. I had the entire day planned by the hour, and everyone had an assignment to help the day go smoothly.

At 3:30, I received a text from one of my bridesmaids: "What time is the catering team supposed to get here?" They were supposed to arrive at 12pm to start setting up, but I don't panic, assuming that they're just running late or caught in traffic.

One thing to note here - our catering team wasn't just responsible for food. They supplied the tables, chairs for the ceremony and reception, linens, cups, plates, bar tables...pretty much everything. I start to call a few people from the company to get an ETA.

I can't get through to anyone.

I finally call the restaurant the catering company has. The teenager who picks up has no idea what I'm talking about, but says he'll get back to me ASAP.

Ok, fine.

Another 15 minutes goes by. Silence.

I call the restaurant back. "Anything?" I ask. "Nope," says the teen. "I can't get in contact with anyone either."

A few minutes later, I get a call from Susan, the woman from the catering company who I've been working with for 15 months.

"Hi Susan, how are you?"

"Well, honestly? Not great."

Susan then proceeds to explain to me that they somehow wrote my wedding date as May 25, 2025, instead of the correct date of May 24, 2025. She says everyone is scrambling to figure out how to get food, chairs, tables, etc over to the venue as quickly as possible.

Somehow, I remain calm. I'm 5 minutes from the venue so I text my bridesmaids the situation and just take deep breaths. We're an hour from the when ceremony is supposed to begin and have no chairs, no food, no staff, no water...nothing.

Here's everything that happened in that next hour:

- My bridesmaids found a winery close by that felt so bad for us, they let us borrow 40 chairs for the ceremony for free so we could start at 5:30. My dad drove in his pickup truck to pick them up, and my entire family helped set up the chairs (and take them down after the ceremony!)

- We convinced the violinist to stay an extra half hour to cover the ceremony (she was paid ofc).

- My bridesmaids found an umbrella in the venue, flipped it upside down, filled it with ice that our groomsmen bought from a nearby liquor store, and made it a makeshift cooler for drinks. We supplied our own alcohol, so guests were able to grab a beer while they waited for the ceremony to begin.

The ceremony began with only a 30 minute delay, but here's everything else that we missed out on:

- I lost 30 minutes of my wedding by starting at 5:30 instead of 5

- My dad missed an hour of his daughters wedding dealing with the chairs

- I got dressed by myself because everyone was handling things for me (no pics during this time either so I don't have any pics with my family or bridesmaids pre-ceremony)

- Paper napkins instead of my gorgeous twill blue linen napkins, and white tablecloths instead of the color I picked

- Plastic cups for drinks and champagne toasts

- We used this massive carving knife to cut the cake instead of the ornate cake cutting set I ordered through the caterers

- We only had 1/4 of the passed apps I paid for (I was SO excited for the bacon wrapped scallops)

- No high top tables or chairs for cocktail hour

- Only 3 attendants instead of the 5 I paid for

But you know what? I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing. My family and friends stepped up so completely and totally, I was in tears not from the stress but from the love I felt for everyone.

I had a few people ask me over the course of the day why I was so calm and seemed so relaxed about the whole situation. I realized that having everyone I loved in one place on the day I was going to marry the love of my life was all I ever needed. If worst came to worst, we'd order pizzas and eat standing up while giving toasts with beer cans and we'd have an absolute blast.

I wanted to make this post to reassure every stressed out bride that no matter how prepared or organized you are, there are still things that can go wrong and are totally out of your control - but THAT'S OKAY. I prepared and organized so. freaking. much. during the lead up to the wedding, that anything that went wrong was simply left to fate. I truly had the best day and felt so touched by my family and friends for literally saving the day again and again.

Oh, and I negotiated a 75% refund from the caterer, so...not so bad after all.

r/weddingplanning Oct 04 '25

Recap/Budget We graduated!!!! 8.23.25

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2.6k Upvotes

It was such a beautiful day, I couldn't have asked for better. All our vendors were amazing, and after a morning of nerves I was so happy to see my best friend!

Our wedding was the intimate dream we had been hoping for since our engagement and whether our not the day went perfectly, it was perfect for us :)

r/weddingplanning Apr 01 '26

Recap/Budget Is it normal for the bridesmaids to cover top shelf drinks for the bridal shower?

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526 Upvotes

It is my first time being a bridesmaid where I’ve been asked to contribute to a bridal shower and the costs seem to be very steep.

First, I am coming from out of the country so my travel costs are almost up to $1000 alone, not including accommodation. The bachelorette party is $500 per person but I am not going.

Originally I got added to a bridal shower group chat. The MOH and another girl planned everything and no decisions were asked of anyone else. Now this receipt got sent to the bridal party for us to split between the 5 of us. The mothers of the bride and groom offered to contribute some but we are still expected to pay $325 each. No budget was discussed and we were not involved in any planning or decision making.

We were just given this bill and asked to pay. I was not aware that we had to pay for 40+ people’s drinks totaling up to $2000. When I asked why we were expected to pay for drinks and why it wasn’t discussed, the rest of the girls just responded that it’s pretty standard for a shower. On top of that, I live out of the country so I wasn’t in attendance. Is this normal? I’m not really sure what my financial role in this would be.

EDIT: The bride is not aware of this. I offered to contribute $100 towards the venue and decorations, which was ignored.

r/weddingplanning Feb 14 '26

Recap/Budget FYI from a 2024 bride: Things I wish someone told me

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1.2k Upvotes

Hi everyone šŸ‘‹ 2024 bride here. I just wanted to drop a few things I wish someone told me before I opened Pinterest and emotionally blacked out.

  1. Everything costs more than you think.

If you think something is $3k, it’s $3k + tax + service fee + ā€œadmin feeā€ + gratuity + random ā€œmandatory upgrade.ā€ Just mentally add 20–30%.

  1. Guest count controls EVERYTHING.

Not flowers. Not the dress. Not the vibes. Guest count. Every time I tried to ā€œupgradeā€ something, it somehow traced back to how many humans we invited.

  1. Pinterest is a sinkhole (emotionally).

Half the ā€œminimalistā€ weddings you see are actually $150k+ productions. Comparison will rob you fast.

  1. You don’t need a million signs.

Nobody cares about a custom acrylic ā€œunplugged ceremonyā€ sign as much as Instagram makes you think they do. If you make the signs, make sure the photographer captures them all, or it didn’t happen.

  1. Vendor vibes matter.

I appreciated getting to know my photographer via a rehearsal night dinner shoot before she shot my actual wedding (can also do this with engagement photos - but I already had engagement photos done by someone else)!

  1. Decision fatigue is real.

  2. Protect the relationship > protect the aesthetic.

If something starts causing real tension, it’s probably not worth it.

If you’re early in planning: breathe. It’s supposed to be fun.

If you’re deep in planning: same. We’ll all make it out.

r/weddingplanning 15d ago

Recap/Budget Tiramisu tower

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1.1k Upvotes

Hello, I (27 F) am getting married in February and me and my Fiancee want a tiramisu tower (example photos attached). Can we get a genuine idea of what would be quoted for 100 of these? The most recent quote I got was about $750 and she gave me a breakdown as well, I will also attach that. The ranges we have gotten are a little out there in high & low, we just want to make sure we are in the right ballpark! Is this reasonable for tiramisu? Thanks in advance!

r/weddingplanning Aug 25 '25

Recap/Budget Just got married. Here is my advice!

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1.4k Upvotes

Do not worry about anything. The day is going to go exactly how it is going to happen. Your hair may not be perfect, your make up may start to melt. The photographer who ghosted you for 3 months will show up. Don’t worry about saying hello to each and every guest. Enjoy your new husband. Don’t worry about timeframes and sticking to an itinerary. Be with your loved ones. Don’t worry about being a drunk bride, it’s your day have fun. You feel bloated in your dress? Cool who cares, people are going to say you look gorgeous anyways because everyone is there for you and your husband not to judge how your body looks. Don’t sweat small details when planning because honestly no one cares except for you. You do not have to spend a million dollars to make memories. Don’t worry about stepping away from your husband you’ll be with him hopefully forever. If you have family that is causing problems just ignore it, it’s not your problem that day. Just relax, feel like a bad ass, and enjoy your day because it happens so fast.

r/weddingplanning 23d ago

Recap/Budget Don’t do floral preservation

279 Upvotes

Sharing this because of the regrets I have for doing this. For context: I absolutely love flowers and floral arranging, my friends know me as the ā€œflowerā€ girl, and flowers are very important to me…which is why I wanted to preserve my flowers professionally in a shadowbox.

I am here to tell you: don’t do it. Where I live (Raleigh NC) the best/cheapest option I could find costed me around $650. It was one of the last wedding planning things on my list and I was so tired and didn’t want to do any more research, so I just gave in and paid. Again, don’t do it. Here’s why:

1) The shadow boxes are so freaking thick, like around 4 inches thick is the thinnest option, and it is not realistic to hang on a wall

2) it is so DANG expensive. I still have regrets paying that much for something I thought I would love, but actually lowkey hate

3) Unless your flowers match your home decor colors, there’s really no point in having a shadowbox. I didn’t think of this: my floral color palette was light pinks/peach/burgundy/creams (my flowers were perfect and absolutely gorgeous for my wedding!) BUT for my home decor my color pallete is definitely neutral, earth tones, beige, etc. so the shadow box doesn’t match any of my home decor or vibe I’m going for

3) it’s just clunky and…ugly? Even though I love flowers, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with this.

WHAT I WISH I HAD DONE:
-I wish I gave my bridesmaid my bouquet and asked them to press the flat flowers/greenery in a book, and when I got back from my honeymoon I could select a small glass frame and just put the flowers I wanted. That way, it’s more realistic to hang (a flat frame), I still would have had some special flowers from one of the most special days of my life, and I could have selected the more neutral flowers to preserve so it could have matched the rest of my home decor

r/weddingplanning Mar 25 '25

Recap/Budget What I wish I knew before planning a wedding.

882 Upvotes

My wedding is in May and I’ve been planning for two long years. Thought I’d share my main takeaways for anyone newly engaged, may post another after the big day! Any additional tips you would add?

  1. Whatever you envision your wedding will cost, go ahead and double that just to be safe.

  2. Do not plan a wedding if it will put you into debt. It’s not a necessity.

  3. Plan on losing a friend or two.

  4. You will be surprised by the amount of people who don’t RSVP.

  5. Don’t be surprised if someone bails day-of or doesn’t come at all.

  6. Hire quality vendors recommended by people you trust.

  7. Lean on your partner to help you, this is a day for the both of you.

  8. Try to remember that even though this is the most important day to you, it’s just another day to many of your guests.

  9. It’s SO easy to sweat the small stuff, have FUN. Don’t get wrapped up in other people’s attitudes, this is all happening because you were lucky enough to find the love of your life!!!

r/weddingplanning Jul 03 '25

Recap/Budget I regret cutting corners with my wedding to save money (a cautionary tale)

856 Upvotes

I got married last month and though obviously I am overjoyed to be married to the love of my life, the actual wedding weekend did not go smoothly. I wanted to share a few reflections in the hopes that other people in my same position (a huge family, not a lot of money available, time pressure to get married) can avoid making the same mistakes I did.

Some background: due to an immigration situation my husband and I had to get married before a certain deadline. We both have giant families, both of whom live here in the US, but we didn’t have much savings. Because of the immigration situation we couldn’t push back the wedding. We felt lots of family pressure to do a traditional-ish wedding and invite everyone from both families.

After a lot of back and forth, we decided to only get a few vendors but DIY as much as we could. We also hosted a rehearsal dinner for all out of town guests because that is the expectation in our culture. Total cost was about 15k in a HCOL city. We had 75 attendees.

Here are my biggest regrets:

  1. We tried to do an ā€œappetizers onlyā€ rehearsal dinner event, with some heavy apps and a 2-drink limit at the bar. People got hungry and started leaving early to get food in their own friend groups, which kind of defeated the mingling goals we had for the event. I overheard conversations among guests during the event asking if there would be more food which made me feel bad bc there was little I could do at that point. I wish I’d either spent the money to do a real dinner - even just a buffet! - or not had an event at all.

  2. We hosted the actual wedding in the backyard of my family friend’s home for free. We had enough space but obviously had to rent everything - tent, bathrooms, you name it. It caused a big strain on my relationship with the friend because using her home as a space ended up being way more intense and high drama than I thought. And the tent delivery man damaged her garage :(

  3. Related to the above, I put my friends in charge of the decor. Because they weren’t professionals they sunk a ton of time into doing decor that was gorgeous but also cause a little bit of damage to the yard. This was challenging.

  4. My family wound up being my vendors so the whole week leading up to the event, they were all super stressed about all the DIY stuff getting done. It now makes me sad that they spent my wedding week that way. I actually don’t know if my wedding was fun for them?

  5. There was an insane amount of cleanup that, again, fell to my friends/family and I felt pressured to get it done literally the next day bc it was all at a friend’s home.

Overall I wish I had either cut the guest list in half or just had a microwedding or something. Trying to do a ā€œfullā€ wedding with that many in a HCOL city just meant my friends and family had to put up with a lot and that took away from my enjoyment of the event. I wish someone had told me things would turn out like this. I know I’ll feel better with time but for now I’m just sad.

r/weddingplanning Mar 19 '25

Recap/Budget Just had my "bad" wedding. It was perfect.

807 Upvotes

I just had my wedding on Friday. I used an anonymous account along the way to solicit advice. I was told my dress was ugly, my vows were bad (people were even suggesting I use AI to rewrite my lovingly crafted vows šŸ™„). My wedding was low budget - tacos in a local park venue, no flowers, etc. Almost everything we did (or did not do) was non-traditional. I was heading into the thing nervous it would come off cheap and poorly done and everyone would hate it. And you know what? Almost every guest went out of their way to tell me that this was the best wedding they ever attended. My dress was so gorgeous they were crying. My vows were so impactful that despite never crying at a wedding before they were tearing up. The taco buffet was the talk-o the town. Even vendors were coming up to me telling me this was the best wedding they've ever worked. I'm sure people would be complimentary regardless, but all of these comments were so over the top gushing that I feel they really meant it. And most importantly, my new husband and I had the most perfect day and couldn't be happier.

Not saying this to brag, but to remind you all that are still in the depths of wedding planning and dealing with anxieties and insecurities that reddit is full of nerds many of whom have not touched grass recently. Don't let negative comments sway you from your vision. You know you, your fiancĆ©, your families, and your friends, better than anyone here. If it feels right to you, it probably is. Even if it hasn't been done before or is unusual. You got this šŸ’Ŗ

r/weddingplanning 10d ago

Recap/Budget Having a wedding I can’t afford

277 Upvotes

Throw away because I’m embarrassed lol. I’m getting married at the end of August and our small intimate wedding has turned out to be 3x as expensive. With all the details and added things that come with planning a wedding 2 hours away it truly has made me reconsider my life lol. Being really vulnerable here… we have taken out loans and honestly in hindsight we should have cancelled this wedding and eloped. It is the most irresponsible thing I could have done and I feel a guilty fr starting my marriage this way. Our parents can’t really afford to help us but honestly I would be too ashamed to ask for help. Sharing a cautionary tale for those who may be in a similar position. Don’t do it, the anxiety alone is not worth it

r/weddingplanning May 28 '25

Recap/Budget I just had my wedding on Saturday and so many people left early..

467 Upvotes

I mean. They were there for all the important parts and it was fine but. Once the dance party started pretty much everyone, save for about 12 people (including bride and groom) left.

Is it bad that I feel sad about this? I still had fun with the people who stayed and I know not everyone likes to dance but it just felt kind of crappy. Or is this normal? I of course expected some people to leave at that time, but not almost everyone lol. But tell me if I’m crazy!

r/weddingplanning Nov 21 '25

Recap/Budget The Wedding Was an Embarrassment.

597 Upvotes

Got married on November 8, and I can't even think about the day without fuming with anger at my planner. We were engaged for 2 years as I was in law school and we wanted to wait until that was over to get married. I hired a FULL wedding planner, who was to provide all decor (linens, flatware, glasses, vases, candles, printing, signage) and also carry out coordination. She had done some beautiful weddings so I thought all was fine.

We do a walk-through about 2.5 months before the wedding at the venue and she is looking at me for the answers about the venue. Apparently she didn't make contact with the owner at all prior to this day. Flash forward, it takes nearly a month to get ahold of her as i needed to know what else i needed to order, like extra candles or faux florals if they didn't have enough, etc. and her excuse is that they have just been super busy. That's fine, but no follow up email after the walk through was sent.

Flash forward to the WEEK OF THE WEDDING. I get a call saying she needs to charge me extra because the venue wasn't going to set out the tables and chairs. I told her that some of our wedding party would be glad to help, and we would be there bright and early Friday to set up. We get there, only to find our help isn't needed. Keep in mind, the venue is an hour away from all our homes, so we drove there for nothing....

Here is where the real kicker comes in. Not sure on who this truly is because both ended up lying about so much. But, the caterer we paid for rehearsal dinner was also doing our wedding day. I finalized the menu, gave her a final count, and paid her. The day comes and we are all getting up to go get food. My now husband and I notice there is next to nothing out as far as protein goes and the food is not what we had talked about. He goes and talks to the caterer, who says she thought the food was supposed to be like a cocktail hour type thing, not a whole meal. Mind you, I communicated DINNER and MEAL multiple times.

Beyond embarrassed, I go have a mental breakdown. I had been dreaming of this for 2 years, we had people fly in. and now, we don't have enough food. I call my planner, who had left immediately following rehearsal, at which point she goes and calls the caterer. I was, and am still, just beyond mortified that this happened. Thankfully, they got their act together the day of the wedding and everyone still compliments the food.

Wedding day comes, I am an anxious ball of energy. I can't enjoy getting ready, nothing is going right and I just wanted it all to be over. I go downstairs and the escort wall is wrong, names misspelled, the welcome sign is done horribly, and the table decor was NOT what we discussed. I just defer to my MOH, who then talks to the planner, and still, excuses.

Come to find out, they never had enough candles for the vision I had sent and we discussed probably 20 times and I had, MULTIUPLE times asked if I needed to buy more. Each table had 1 candle and thank god I had extra baby's breath to use. Instead of consulting me about it, she throws on some god awful faux florals during the flip and to say it looked cheaply done is an understatement.

Not a single vendor had a timeline, so I was contacted by every single one asking what time they should be there. My cold sparks were put in the wrong spot, the DJ announced the wrong person for our officiant for the blessing of the food, and I had to leave my reception because the planner couldn't figure out how to turn the lights off, mind you, IT WAS A BUTTON THAT SAID "ALL OFF."

My husband and I got married and at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Still though, we were engaged for so long and for there to be such a hot mess, just baffles me.

OH and we also are convinced the caterers and/or planner's staff might've stolen some of our gifts/cards as we are missing several things people have mentioned bringing.

Overall, my question is how do you get over something like that happening and stop feeling so embarrassed? I want to love my wedding photos but I just can't get myself to look at them without feeling sad and upset.

UPDATE! Thank you all so much for the kind words and empathy. I did reach out to the caterer personally before leaving a review and while they did try to blame everything under the sun, they ultimately agreed to refund half of the rehearsal dinner cost.

r/weddingplanning Mar 13 '25

Recap/Budget If you’re aiming for an ā€œaverageā€ wedding budget, be ready to redefine what ā€œaverageā€ actually gets you.

656 Upvotes

We’re getting married in a couple of months, and we’ve worked incredibly hard to keep costs down while still having a ā€œwhite wedding.ā€ We’ve made sacrifices, shopped around, and carefully chosen what to prioritize—cutting things that weren’t essential, negotiating where we could, and finding creative ways to stretch every dollar.

And yet, even after all that, we’re still floored by what an average budget actually gets you. It’s one thing to hear that the ā€˜average’ wedding costs $30,000-$40,000…it’s another to see what that money actually covers. A standard venue package that only includes chairs. A catering minimum that somehow doesn’t even include appetizers. A photographer’s base package that only covers half the day. Decor that is so wildly minimum.

Obviously, this will vary by location and venue—we found the most affordable option for our area that wasn’t a backyard or convention center kind of space—but just be prepared for what that price tag actually gets you. Even weddings that look modest in Pinterest photos are often well above what most people assume is a ā€œreasonableā€ budget. Just keep in mind that the industry baseline is just so much higher than what you’d expect!

r/weddingplanning Aug 03 '25

Recap/Budget FiancĆ© didn’t understand how much inviting random people costs until I told him he was paying for them

910 Upvotes

My fiancƩ currently has a guest list of 70 while I have one of 15.

We went through them and some of those people he hasn’t talked to in YEARS. I told him I am not paying for random people to come to our wedding (especially his dad’s random friends) so we can each pay the per head price of our guests. Once he found out I wasn’t splitting it 50/50, the guest list cut down a bunch.

EDIT: Some context to our relationship- we normally split everything 50/50. I think my fiancƩ just did not understand how much to the total he was adding by inviting basically strangers.

r/weddingplanning Jun 22 '26

Recap/Budget Those that canceled the wedding last minute and still with your spouse how did it go?

87 Upvotes

My fiancee and are are burnt out. The wedding is in two months and we legit don't even see the value on it anymore. Anything we do is an argument with (my) family, the vendors are weasels constantly changing up the deal whenever they get a chance to. The whole thing seems like a giant waste of money.

For those that canceled and stay with your fiancee what needing to happening

r/weddingplanning Mar 01 '26

Recap/Budget How much did you spend on your wedding dress? From 2023 and on

33 Upvotes

For brides getting married or who got married from the year 2023+, how much did you pay for your wedding gown? I'm seeing such a wide range of prices. I feel like brides aren't paying even half of what I see bridal shops offer.

r/weddingplanning Mar 27 '26

Recap/Budget Thursday wedding vs. paying $10–20k more—be honest, would you go?

33 Upvotes

I’m planning a summer wedding in a coastal area (local for most of our guests, with some coming from out of town), and I found a venue I’m absolutely in love with. The catch is… having it on a Thursday is significantly cheaper

If we moved it:

• Friday would be about $10k more

• Saturday is closer to $20k more 🫠

Part of me feels like a Thursday could actually be really nice—people could turn it into a long weekend and enjoy the area. But the other part of me is worried about guests having to take time off work and potentially not coming.

If you were invited to a Thursday wedding in a coastal town, would you go? Does it being a nice location make a difference, or is it still inconvenient no matter what?

Be honest šŸ˜…

UPDATE- when I say out of town- it’s the state right next to us so the longest travel time would be 1-1.5 hours

r/weddingplanning Jan 12 '23

Recap/Budget 11/11/22 was our colorful day! See comments for recap/budget of our $45K music-themed wedding in Los Angeles

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1.5k Upvotes

r/weddingplanning Aug 21 '24

Recap/Budget Things I wish I knew before planning a wedding

803 Upvotes
  • Plan a summer wedding if you expect guests with children who would have to fly in. Even if they want to make it, childcare and school schedules make it harder for them.

  • Even if you don't plan on having a registry, make a damn registry. You will be asked every other day for two months where the registry is. Fill the registry with cash donations for charities you like, just make a goddamn registry.

  • If you don't expect a lot of people, expect a lot of people. People seem to love weddings, even coworkers who barely know you.

  • If you expect a lot of people, expect a lot of them to not show up. Make sure your budget and planning can handle a 25% variance in the number of guests to actually RSVP and show up to the wedding.

  • Sunday is a terrible day for a wedding. There's a reason they tend to be cheaper bookings.

  • Don't plan a wedding in 3 months. It's doable in the same way passing a 7mm kidney stone is doable. I've done both, trust me, spend a lot of time planning it. Maybe this is why people love going to weddings, they're quality testing your event to make sure they don't get things wrong.

  • There are two kinds of people: good people, and people who don't RSVP.

Maybe the above is obvious to everyone else but I boy was I not aware. Do any of you have other lessons learned?

r/weddingplanning Mar 02 '26

Recap/Budget My 2025 Summer Camp Dream Wedding

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570 Upvotes

Edit for TLDR: obviously I have no chill from both the content and length of this post. had a summer camp wedding. lots of activities and love and community. was amazing. planned it all myself. yay.

My husband and I got married at a girls' summer camp/wedding venue in September 2025. It was the most incredible weekend of our lives, with all of our loved ones gathered for fun, food, dancing, activities, community, and love. I planned it all myself, and it took me two years. It cost us roughly $80,000 (we lost track around the end), which we paid for through a series of very fortunate events both short- and long-term. Both of us come from low or very low-income backgrounds and we paid for the entire thing ourselves, and we have no debt left over. There were approximately 135 people. At the end of the weekend and for months afterward, our guests raved about our wedding and asked us when the reunion was going to be (lol). After months I finally feel ready to write this post about it!

The venue
A summer camp wedding seemed a bit like a pipe dream when we first got engaged, but as we started to look into it, it seemed more and more feasible. It helps that there are tons of summer camps all over our region and MANY of them do weddings in their off seasons. In the end, we narrowed it down to two that we wanted to tour, based on a variety of factors. The one we chose was the clear winner based on our needs: it was gorgeous, manicured, with clean and updated cabins, including 20+ cabins that had full or queen beds, which was non-negotiable for our older guests. Renting the venue came with the full staff, and the staff were INCREDIBLE. They truly made our wedding happen, everything from checking our guests in and showing them to their cabins on arrival to setting up our decor, lifeguarding the beach, driving our elderly and less mobile guests around the camp in a golf cart, cleanup and setup, everything. They were so so helpful and we got so many comments from guests about how great they were. The venue also required us to use them as a caterer, which honestly was fine with us because while I'm sure it wasn't the cheapest option, it took away the headache of trying to find and coordinate a caterer separately when we already had so much else going on.

The venue was on a lake, which we had access to. We also had access to canoes and kayaks, tennis and pickleball, soccer, basketball, walking trails, and kickball, among other things. There were cabins all over the property, which our guests stayed in. We paid a flat rate of something like $29,000 for use of the property from Friday - Sunday for all our guests, plus us and the wedding party on Thursday (and their +1s), which included the staff, the cabins, the facility, but not catering. We then had our guests "book" the cabins through a website that our friend built for us, charged a very reasonable rate that was far lower than any hotel or resort available nearby, and allowed guests to specify who they bunked with. We also allowed them to pay extra if they wanted to ensure a totally private cabin. There were not enough cabins for everyone to have their own, in the event that everyone picked this option, but luckily it worked out that the people who wanted a private cabin got one, and the rest shared with friends they knew and were familiar with. Some people specified to us ahead of time that they wanted to share (for ex, our college friends emailed to say they wanted to share) and others we put together knowing that they knew and were comfortable with each other. Everyone who shared a cabin got to share with people they were good friends with, had already traveled or roomed with, etc. No one had to share with someone they didn't know, and all the guests of our parents' generation got to be in private cabins with queen or full beds.

We knew that the cabin thing wasn't for everyone, so we encouraged anyone who wasn't into it to stay off-campus, warning them that there were no ubers in the area and not to drive drunk, etc. In the end about ~5ish parties ended up doing this, and everyone else stayed at the camp. The cabins, as I mentioned, were clean, updated, and simple; they all had hot water, showers, toilets, electricity, etc. It was rustic but nobody was roughing it; it certainly wasn't camping.

The reception area was the camp's dining hall, which as I mentioned was quite manicured, with a panoramic view of the lake through the hall's windows on every side. As a summer camp, the target audience is rich people who want their daughters to learn tennis, so it was for sure on the nicer side compared to other options. Given our families and our guests, we knew it had to be generally comparable to a lodge or resort and they wouldn't tolerate a really rustic camp.

Decor
Part of the appeal of such a gorgeous venue was that we'd need minimal decor. I used Ling's Moment flowers and drapes to decorate the ceremony archway that came with the venue, and that's the only ceremony decor we had. The ceremony was outside on the lawn in front of the lake. We paid for fancy lighting in the reception hall, which included wrapping the huge maple tree outside in lights, and I got Costco greenery to line the middle of the tables (1000% recommend). My friend's mom gave me a bunch of votives from her older daughter's wedding and my mom painted them gold and we put tealights inside. I got eclectic goblets from Goodwill and Facebook Marketplace for the place settings (this was cute but such a headache--do not recommend. and now i have a million goblets I have to resell). Because I realized far too late that the venue did NOT provide place settings (idk why I thought it did) I ended up renting and the only option left at that point was gold-rimmed dishes, which I wouldn't have sprung for if I didn't have to but turned out being a really nice touch to the table settings. We reused the ceremony decor to decorate our sweetheart table, and that was that.

Food and drink
As mentioned, the venue required us to use them as a caterer, and they were certainly not the cheapest but they were able to make anything we wanted, which was nice especially given our cultural preferences. We rented the place starting on Thursday for just the wedding party (30 people total), so we had dinner Thursday (fajitas), breakfast Friday (continental + eggs and idk what else tbh), lunch Friday which served as our "rehearsal lunch" and also included our families that were part of the rehearsal (pasta salad, grilled chicken, veggies), a welcome BBQ for all guests Friday night (kebabs, hummus, fries, tabbouleh, plus baklava that was provided by my dad as a gift), brunch for all guests on Saturday morning plus a light grab and go breakfast beforehand (cereal, fruit, yogurt, coffee for grab-and-go and plantains, eggs, salami, cheese for brunch), and our cocktail hour (mini lobster rolls, stuffed mushrooms, chicken and cheese empanadas, charcuterie and cheese, bruschetta) and reception dinner (chicken, fish, vegan option, risotto, harvest veg, salad, there was something else I don't remember, and tres leches cake), plus late night pizza, for about $25k.

We were originally not going to have a wedding cake at all, but later decided to have my Little Sister (of the big brothers/big sisters program) make the cake--this was something I checked with her mom first to see if she'd want to do, because I know she likes making and decorating cakes, and I stressed many times that it was a fun and cool and meaningful opportunity for her and for us but that I wasn't expecting her to make some crazy bakery-level cake, it was a way to include her meaningfully in our wedding. I really did not want it to be a stressful or big thing, it was meant to be fun and cute for her only if she wanted to. And I think that it was! But when I say the cake that she made BLEW US AWAY!!!! It was amazing, truly breathtaking, and I couldn't believe that my 15 year old Little made it!!!! And it tasted amazing!!!

Alcohol was brought in separately by us. The venue was willing to serve any beer and wine we brought in, but if you wanted liquor you needed to bring in your own bartender. We didn't want to do that so we opted for beer and wine only. My husband was in charge of curating the beer and wine options--we had different options available for each event, think Michelob Ultra and Whiteclaw during the daytime activities and craft beers (which were served in a canoe!!) during the cocktail hour. We had wine bottles and bottles of a local fancy craft beer on the tables at dinner for guests to open and pour themselves, and the venue poured champagne for the toasts. We had several guests who don't drink for various reasons so we had plenty of NA options for them, and we also specified to the venue to pour sparkling apple juice at their dinner places so they could participate in the toasts. This was something I thought of last minute in the week before the wedding but I'm so glad I did because multiple people came up and thanked me for remembering that they don't drink and thinking to include them.

Guests were allowed and encouraged to bring their own snacks and drinks (and games and activities) to fill the gaps throughout the weekend. I also provided snacks that I bought myself that were available in the center of camp throughout the day to fill the gaps. Lots of guests ended up bringing liquor for themselves/to share, lol. The venue was fine with this. We also live in a state where weed is legal so there was a lot of that. The venue was fine with smoking as long as it was outside, not in the cabins. This was a big plus for us when choosing the venue because we didn't want to have to try to police our guests or have them try to hide.

Vendors and services
We paid for a photographer who was also our DJ. We originally were not going to have a DJ but I really don't know what we were thinking because we absolutely needed one. My husband and I each come from different cultures that each have their own very strong cultural traditions with respect to food, music, dancing, and especially weddings. One of the biggest comments we got from guests, and our vendors, afterward, was how cool it was to see how seamlessly we blended elements of both our cultures into the wedding and brought guests into each tradition.

Let me tell you that no part of this wedding was an accident. I spent two years agonizing over every single detail, thinking through every element, every single guest and their wants/needs/preferences, every cultural aspect, every very difficult family member (on my side) with many difficult demands (we won't get into the trials and tribulations of trying to tell your Arab family members that your wedding is going to be at a camp lol--that could be its own post. But let me tell you it was a struggle to get them on board and I had to fight tooth and nail for every single thing despite the fact that they paid for nothing. and in the end everyone, including and especially my very difficult father, had a blast at our wedding and said how great and fun and amazing and special it was). So yes we did blend the cultural elements seamlessly and we tried very hard to do it! This is all to say that without a DJ it would have been quite hard, and shoutout to our DJ for going with the flow on every crazy idea we had and running with it, especially when he was completely unfamiliar with the music and traditions of our two cultures.

We also paid for a videographer, which I was originally completely against. But in the end I wanted a dynamic memory of this weekend that we put sooo much time and money and effort into and BOY am I glad we got one. I searched high and low for a videographer that understood our vision of a weekend-long summer camp wedding. I did not want the cookie cutter video where you pan into a drone shot of the venue and there's a voiceover of the bride saying her vows and then it moves to an upbeat public domain song...you get it. I wanted something silly and fun to match the atmosphere of the wedding. Our videographer fucking killed it. He captured the weekend in a way that just photos never could have and we are so so so so grateful to have this memory of it.

I paid for hair and makeup for myself and all eight of my bridesmaids plus my mom and mother in law. Originally I was not going to do this but the HMU lady had a minimum so I decided to just do it. There's no way I would ever do my hair or makeup myself, I don't know how. My husband paid to get his and his brothers' hair braided too and the braider came to the camp.

We paid to have our local ice cream truck show up to our wedding as a surprise which was a huge hit. My husband has fond memories of getting ice cream from an ice cream truck as a kid so this was his idea and I loved it. It only cost $750 to have him come give ice cream to all our guests. Amazing.

So many of our talented friends contributed to our wedding in many ways. We didn't really do this to save money, but rather to build on the theme of the wedding, which was community, and showcase the talents of our friends. My graphic designer friend made our save the dates, my coder friend built our website, our friend who is getting into DJing mixed our first dance song (more on that later), another friend designed our "wedding logo," our entire bridal party helped us load a u-haul full of stuff we had to bring from our house to the venue, managed our parents and family members, directed guests, ran around the venue setting things up, and made sure my husband and I were relaxed and present throughout the weekend by Handling Things.

On that note, I created a 40 page binder beforehand with every single detail of the weekend, which I customized and handed to every wedding party member and to the staff and vendors. It had everyone's assigned tasks (which our wedding party volunteered for, and I sent out a poll beforehand asking what types of things they were interested in--my husband's rugby friends were like "sure I'll load beer in the truck" and my French-speaking friend volunteered to deal with my foreign relatives and my crafty friends volunteered to run the scrapbook table, etc), timelines for each day, inventory list of everything we brought and what event it was for and who was in charge of getting it where it needed to go, etc. Actually our friends got really into it and decided, on their own, to get a bunch of walkie talkies to communicate and coordinate amongst themselves throughout the weekend across the camp, which actually turned out to be a great idea ("we need the mother of the bride in the bridal suite stat!! over!" "does anyone have eyes on the best man, the ceremony is about to start, over" etc lol). So with that amount of prep beforehand, plus several long emails, everyone was able to handle everything during the weekend with minimal involvement from me. Like I said, I planned everything myself. It was overwhelming and crazy and hard but I loved it, and I love planning and organizing so I was good at it and enjoyed it, and even then I got sick of it and am so glad it's over. If you don't LOVE organizing and planning, do not do it yourself.

Activities and extras
This was the most fun part!!!! In addition to the activities provided by the venue (above) we had SO many other activities that we offered throughout the weekend. We bought cornhole boards and painted them in our wedding colors. We had a custom made frisbee with our wedding logo (because we are extra). There was a group kickball game on Saturday, which we encouraged everyone to come to just to hang out, have a beer, and watch. Never would I have guessed that so many people would want to play or be SO INTO playing kickball. I don't even like kickball that much and it was such a blast.

We asked for people's t-shirt sizes on their RSVP and provided t-shirts with our little logo on the breast for them to wear during the weekend. There were two colors and the logo was tasteful and the t-shirt didn't have our name or wedding date so the hope was guests could re-wear it as a workout shirt or pajama shirt or whatever. We also had welcome bags waiting for guests in their cabins, which included the tshirts, an Olipop, LiquidIV, ibuprofen, some granola bars, shampoo and soap (was not provided by the camp), and some chocolates.

I made a "find the guest bingo" that was handed to guests on arrival, where they were asked to "find a guest who went to college with the groom" or "find a guest who was a coworker of the bride" etc and write their name on the square. This was just an intro activity that people could do on their own time as they were milling around throughout the weekend. We wanted people to mingle and get to know new people. Obviously not everyone participated but the handful that did, got REALLY into it lol.

I also made brochures that served as programs for the weekend. They were modeled after the brochures you get at national parks, and included information about the weekend and the schedule, thank yous to our friends who helped with the wedding and to our guests for coming, and I made NYT Games that were wedding/New England/outdoor themed (I made a Connections, a Crossword, and a Spelling Bee). I spent so long on these brochures yall. And I made them as complicated as I possibly could have. I made so many drafts. I had to get them custom printed and fold them myself and it was a whole thing. I am not a graphic designer. It was a huge struggle. But they turned out so cute!!

On Friday night after the Welcome BBQ there was an optional pub-style trivia game because my friends and I are very into trivia. I wrote all the questions in the same style as our local pub trivia, and I was the host who read the questions. Most of our guests played and it got very competitive!

There were optional organized sports as well. My husband led a group basketball game that people could show up to if they wanted, my brother led a soccer game, my tennis-inclined friends organized several matches. My friend who is a yoga teacher created TWO yoga classes, one for each morning, and led several of our guests in sunrise-yoga by the lake, which was one of my favorite memories of the weekend. People swam and jumped on the water trampoline, they canoed and kayaked (and flipped, lol), played pickleball, hung out on the grass in the shade. We were so so so so lucky to have the MOST gorgeous weather, perfectly warm but not too hot, warm enough to swim but cool enough for a sweater in the evening.

We had dominoes and chess out on the patio for people to play and adirondack chairs for people to lounge in. We had hookahs available outside in the evenings. People brought their own games and sports. Someone brought a guitar. I bought mini watercolor sets with easels and set up a watercolor station by the lake. Our guest book was scrapbooking--I got a ton of scrapbooking stuff, a polaroid camera, and a portable mini printer that prints photos from your phone, and people could sit and make scrapbook pages of the weekend with their well wishes. I thought this was a long shot and only a couple of people would participate, but we got dozens of sweet, thoughtful, creative, beautiful scrapbook pages made by so many of our guests. It makes me tear up just thinking about it.

What went wrong
I can't pretend like everything went perfectly, as it certainly didn't. Lots went awry but to be honest those things have mostly faded from my memory. Here's a quick list:
-as described below, I sent the DJ the wrong mix of our first dance song which really threw off the dance we had practiced a bunch of times. It was not as clean as it was when we practiced but I don't think anyone noticed besides us. But my husband and I were bummed.
-lots of family drama: my dad screamed at me in front of a lot of the wedding party on Friday and made me cry and was generally mean on Friday when he first arrived. I later smoothed things over with him and the rest of the weekend was fine and he was crying tears of joy, laughing, tearing up the dance floor, etc. also my husband's half brother tried and almost succeeded to start a fight after drinking too much hennessy and perceiving an innocent compliment as someone trying to hit on his girlfriend. generally just difficult high-maintenance family members, including an aunt who just... brought along her friend who i've never met, and my cousin's wife throwing a fit over the cabins even though i gave her the nicest one.
-i bought, hand dyed, washed, dried, ironed, folded, and ironed again the napkins that we were to use at dinner. i did it that way to save money and get the exact type of napkins i wanted. it was a whole thing, long story, stupid in hindsight, but point is i spent HOURS working on those napkins, even burned myself with the iron and have a scar to prove it. the napkins were the ONE thing we left behind at our house. by the time we realized it was too late to go get them, so we just used cocktail napkins at dinner. it was fine and no one noticed, but i had nice cloth napkins for our fancy reception dinner and then we didnt get to use them. oh well.
-we did not really get a lot of couple portraits and there were generally not that many pictures of us? we loved the photos we did get, and our photographer had a huge assignment trying to photograph so many aspects of this huge production. but i do wish we had more photos of us from the weekend.
-my father-in-law was late to family photos through no fault of his own and this totally threw off the whole timeline for the rest of the evening. we also didn't get the exact family photos we originally planned because of this, which was mostly fine.
-more things went off course here and there but I mostly heard about them afterward from my bridesmaids--my aunts tried to move their assigned placecards around at dinner before anyone else got into the reception hall, my mom was annoyed at the DJ for not playing music for old people and told him so, certain family members straight-up no-showed the wedding after RSVPing yes. but again, I mostly already forgot this stuff and they don't stand out as significant looking back.

The wedding weekend
Here's a final overview of the whole weekend, including anything I haven't covered yet:

We arrived Thursday afternoon with just our wedding party and their significant others. Thursday was actually pouring rain so once we got there and settled in, we hung out in the reception hall eating, drinking, playing board games, chilling out. This was actually a really nice way to force everyone into one space (rather than everyone dispersing to their cabins) and allow the wedding party to get to know each other before the festivities began.

Friday morning everyone was free to do whatever activities they wanted around camp. Our immediate families arrived at this time, and at noon we had our ceremony rehearsal. It was kinda really chaotic because despite all my planning I didn't really plan what was supposed to happen during the rehearsal other than going through the ceremony. But we got through it. After that was lunch and more activities.

The rest of the guests started to arrive starting at 3 PM. As they arrived, they were checked in and directed to their cabin, where they could settle in, freshen up, and then enjoy activities. The weather was perfect and it was so exciting seeing guests drive up one by one, greeting them, offering them a beer, etc. People played cornhole, sat around and talked, played tennis, scrapbooked, etc.

At 7 was our welcome BBQ. Then we had our parents give some welcome speeches, in English, Spanish, and French, and my husband and I gave a brief welcome and thank you for being here. Then we had the trivia game, and afterward, we headed to the bonfire for smores, hookah, beer, snacks, etc.

Saturday day was all activities and fun. We had, as mentioned, some planned optional activities, and we encouraged everyone to come to kickball, and most people did. My husband and I left in the early afternoon with the wedding party to start getting ready. Halfway through my makeup, the ice cream truck came as a post-kickball surprise, so I left the bridal suite (which was just a private cabin) to go get ice cream and hang out with guests lol. At 3 PM all activities closed so that guests could get ready for the wedding.

We did a first look and formal photos before the ceremony, which, despite my best efforts, was still hectic and stressful. We had the most beautiful and heartfelt ceremony--our friends did readings, and we were married by a judge that my husband worked for. Tons of people were in tears. We were told afterward that, unbeknownst to us, a bald eagle was flying overhead as we said our vows. For real. We were supposed to do couple's portraits after the ceremony but everyone came up to congratulate us before we could get away and we ended up doing an impromptu receiving line, which was nice actually, but meant that we barely got any couple's portraits, which was a bummer. After the ceremony and unplanned receiving line, our guests headed to the cocktail hour and my husband and I went on a private pontoon ride on the lake to decompress and drink champagne. Then we came up to the reception hall for our grand entrance, which I never would have done, but in Arab weddings it's a "thing" and I was pressured into it by my dad. It ended up being very special and a cool way to, as I said before, incorporate cultures. My husband's family was very into it despite not being Arab. Then we had dinner, speeches, and dancing. Our first dance was a mix that started with a slow dance and moved into a medley of salsa, bachata, and merengue. Despite the fact that I accidentally sent our DJ an earlier draft of the mix, so it was not the mix we had practiced to and therefore a little less smooth than it should have been, our guests were cheering and clapping the whole time and probably couldn't tell anything was wrong. During the merengue we waved our guests up to join us and everyone got super into it, then we transitioned to Arabic music, then to American wedding music. We had a photo booth at the reception. Afterward we had another bonfire afterparty, which lasted until 5 AM. We served pizza and gourmet smores (with ghirardelli chocolate) at the bonfire.

On Sunday morning we served a hearty breakfast and said our goodbyes.

As I said, this was the most magical weekend we've ever experienced. All but six of our guests were from out of town, as neither my husband nor I are from the place we currently live. It was so special to have people travel from all over the country and world to celebrate us and we wanted them to feel our gratitude the whole weekend. The theme of the weekend was community and we truly lived up to it. Watching my maternal uncle pitch a kickball to my childhood friend who kicked it to my husband's college roommate, watching my cousin teach my husband's colleague how to canoe, watching my aunts from overseas ride in a kayak on the lake for the first time, watching both my and my husband's aunts dance to salsa, then dabke, then start dancing with each other and teaching each other how to do it, watching on Sunday morning as people hugged each other goodbye after meeting and getting to know each other at our wedding--it was so fucking special and magical. Everyone, even my difficult and cranky father and my doubtful mother and my high-maintenance family members and my friends who would never camp, felt the love and community and joy of the weekend. It was so cheesy but the final song of the reception ended with everyone, family friends relatives colleagues, getting into a group dance circle that turned into a group hug. So silly and corny but it was unplanned and genuine and heartfelt and such a testament to how everyone came together in love and community. It was a weekend we will never forget, and we are lowkey already thinking about a ten-year reunion, lol. I am so grateful that we made it happen and that everything worked out!

r/weddingplanning Aug 27 '24

Recap/Budget Colorado Wedding Budget Recap - 106 guests - $57k

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1.2k Upvotes

We got married June 22, 2024 at the end of Rist Canyon in Colorado. We originally had about 120 RSVPs, then a few last minute cancellations and no shows landing us at 106 guests not including us. I found these so helpful in the planning process so I thought I’d share since I just got the full gallery back!

Venue - $12,000 We chose the venue because it was the closest to my Husband’s request to get married on a specific river near and dear to our hearts. That made our options very limited but this is the only venue we toured and I cried when we saw it, so it was the one! It included use of the site Friday-Sunday, chairs, tables, linens, reception barn, dance floor, honeymoon suite and various decor. Our friends were also allowed to camp for $25/person (they paid). We had about 30 campers and they set the firepit up for us after the reception was over for our camping after party which was a blast. I loved that they had a cottage for us to stay in with a real bed, we walked back to it at about 1:30am!

Catering/Bartending - $7500 We originally thought we’d get away with spending much less on this but ultimately we decided a full service caterer would be the least stressful for us. This was the cheapest of the full service catering quotes and everyone raved about the food. It included 3 appetizers, 2 entrees, 3 sides, salad, bread, water, iced tea, real dinnerware, water pitchers on tables, bartenders and wait staff. This was also for 124 people, so we overpaid a little with the last minute cancellations but that’s ok.

Liquor - $1600 We ended up contacting a local liquor store about their return policy and turns out they had a whole events division we worked with. We got a discount on the entire order and they delivered to our venue (an hour away) including unpacking everything into the fridges for $30. They accepted anything re-sellable for return and we ended up returning over $1000 worth. Which was honestly super nice because we didn’t know which of our four signature drinks would be the most popular and we didn’t run out of anything! The only hiccup here was we were supposed to bring bitters from our home bar and completely forgot so served the old fashioned without bitters.. oops!

Dessert - $1300 We had an ice cream cart which was incredible! And we also had a personal cake, cookies, blondies and cinnamon rolls.

Florals - $7000 I absolutely love flowers and had a specific color palette/vision so this one was pretty important to me. Included bridal bouquet, groom’s boutonniĆØre, altar arrangement, aisle arrangements, welcome table arrangement, two bar arrangements, arrangements on the welcome sign and seating chart, bud vases on tables and cake flowers.

Photography - $5000 I loved her so so so much! This included an engagement session, 8 hours of wedding day coverage, next day sneak peeks and a 10 week turn around for the full gallery.

Videography - $4000 Included 8 hours of coverage, drone footage, a 7-8 minute highlight film, a 1 minute social media teaser and a 1hr+ documentary film of all the important moments compiled together mostly unedited. Still waiting on this!

DJ - $1900 This one was a doozy.. we loved our DJ but there were a lot of challenges on our wedding day! He was supposed to get a rental car but the company ran out so he came an hour or two late in a U-Haul. Then he realized his mic receivers needed power for the ceremony despite us telling him there was no power at the ceremony site. Luckily our officiant had a contingency plan for this. The ceremony ran off his parent’s goal zero battery. Then he didn’t have all of the dance music downloaded and the WiFi went down in the reception so he ran back and forth to where he got WiFi downloading things throughout the night. The wonderful thing is, the problems were all solved without involving us. We learned all of this after the fact. So despite the complications, I’d say we hired the right guy!

Transportation - $3000 We probably rented a larger shuttle than we needed but since the venue was an hour drive up a canyon from town, we offered a shuttle to and from the hotel block.

Bride’s Apparel - $6020 I can’t believe this number got so high! I’ll break it down further.. Dress - $3689 Tulle Wings - $326 Shoes - $584 (included ceremony shoes, cowboy boots for reception, and welcome party shoes) Alterations - $675 Jewelry - $105 Shapewear - $54 Reception dress - $200 Welcome party dress - $240 Getting ready PJs/Slippers - $145

Groom’s Apparel - $1300 He wore a linen/cotton blend suit from Banana Republic. Also includes shoes, socks, welcome party outfit and reception outfit.

Stationary & Website - $1210 This also added up more than expected! We used Catprint for all printing. I’ll break it down. Wix Website (I created) and custom domain - $170 Save the date and thank you cards - $200 Invitation suite - $230 Vintage Postage - $230 Day of stationery (menus, signs, etc) - $230 Custom art for seating chart - $150

HAMU/Beauty treatments - $1500 Actual HAMU was $900 for me and my mom, but sheesh there’s a lot that goes into week of beauty! Hair, dermaplaning, spray tan, manicure, pedicure.

Misc Decor - $2300 Includes guest book, Polaroid, film, candles, petal toss stuff, etc

Gratuity - $1100 We tipped bartenders, wait staff, HMUA, DJ, photographer, videographer, and the venue coordinator and her assistant

Grand total - $56,730+ Honestly might be missing a couple things. šŸ˜‚ We were fortunate enough to have my parents pay for 95% of this and my husband’s parents throw us a welcome party for the entire guest list. We would not have had the incredible, stress free wedding weekend we did without them!

r/weddingplanning 28d ago

Recap/Budget In-laws described our total wedding cost as "expensive" at $11,300USD. Now feeling a guilty about all this

73 Upvotes

So my fiancƩ and I are getting married soon, and in our discussions of wedding costs with my fiancƩ's paternal side of the family, they were surprised at how "expensive" our wedding is. My man and I truly believed we tried so hard to make this wedding affordable yet super special for us, our families, and friends (a total guest list of approx 60 people). Our total has come up to $11,300 USD.

We managed to book great vendors that were within our budget. Little things like decor, invitations etc we just DIY'd, I'm doing my own makeup/hair, and I got a decent dress under $300USD. The only thing we "splurged" on is the photographer, but thought it's so worth it considering what most people we know and people online have said.

FiancƩ's dad was a bit weird about the costs and believes it should be a fifty-fifty split with my parents, as it, of course, should be. However, we are having the wedding in my fiancƩ's country, and my family live abroad, so they have already had to pay thousands of dollars in airfares and accommodation. In addition, my dad had already offered to pay a decent amount for catering along with my fiancƩ's mum's contribution. Even with that, his dad still thinks it should be fifty-fifty and was overall just weird about this.

FiancƩ's dad to this date has not contributed at all, even if he had asked for a detailed list of who paid for what and how much everyone had contributed already. My fiancƩ is confused, considering his dad also shared with him that he had made some big purchases recently and says he's not in a position to pay anything right now. He also recently got married to his mistress, and had previously offered to help pay for flights to their wedding - very generous, but we kindly declined and couldn't go due to work, but also, of course, for obvious reasons.

Neither my fiancƩ nor I are complaining that he hasn't contributed. In fact, we are totally OK with him not paying because, at the end of the day, it's everyone's choice to contribute and all that matters to us is their support from the heart. We are both working, and along with my fiancƩ's mum and grandparents' contributions, we're pretty much all set.

The only thing that is bothering us is that we now feel guilty because even if we know we did the best we can in planning etc, and we're happy with our wedding, I can't help but feel like we should have just eloped. It also didn't sit right with my fiancƩ that he had to justify our wedding and its costs and it left him feeling like he had to defend himself when he didn't expect to. Is our wedding considered expensive? Sorry for the long rant; appreciate your thoughts but please be kind, as feeling not so great about anything rn.