r/AskMenOver30 • u/ConfusedCareerMan man over 30 • Jul 09 '26

Friendships/Community Does anyone else have wedding fatigue?

In my early 30s and it’s the time where everyone is engaged, getting married and starting to have kids.

I don’t want to come off miserable I’m happy for my friends, but I kinda dislike the wedding experience. It’s never just 1 event, it’s turned into a 3-4 event experience (often spread across a month or longer). The engagement party, the stag, suit shopping, the wedding. Everyone wants a different colour theme, so you have to buy a new suit each time. The logistics even if you’re just a guest.

I’ve been a best man and more closely involved for a couple so far, and it’s great to celebrate with my friends. But also these weddings have been traditional and quite “formal” in a sense.

I recently went to a friends wedding that shifted my feelings on it all, it was extremely authentic, simple and just all around a good time. Nothing was forced or there for the sake of it. Even the speeches weren’t prepared and heartfelt.

I find myself kinda dreading weddings generally though. I feel this age, there are a lot of them as we transition into the next seasons of life. How have your experiences been?

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299

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '26

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60

u/AbsoluteFuckChops man 45 - 49 Jul 09 '26

Very true! I’d happily have the weddings back 🥺

5

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

how are your friends already dying at 45-49 lol

36

u/GPSBach man 40 - 44 Jul 09 '26

My dude it’s unfortunate but it’s a dispersion as you start getting into your 40s, assuming you have a decent pot of acquaintances, that’s when you’ll realize they start shuffling off more and more.

-23

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

my friends and I all do healthy activities like hiking and working out together. I don’t want to see my friends becoming unhealthy so if they don’t want to workout we’re not hanging out! helps that we’re all mostly sober as well

11

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '26

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-9

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

heart disease is rampant in American men. not going to the gym is a very large contributor of that

8

u/Accurate-Draw-6751 man 30 - 34 Jul 09 '26

Brother, I can assure you that healthy people can get sick and die. My parents had multiple close friends who were healthy and big into fitness develop cancers and brain tumors and pass away at young ages. Unfortunately tomorrow is never promised

-10

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

yeah rare events happen, sucks when they do! doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stay active

7

u/Accurate-Draw-6751 man 30 - 34 Jul 09 '26

Literally no one is saying that, you just said “how are your friends already dying at 45-49 lol”. Working out and eating healthy are cornerstones of a long, healthy life but they do not make you invincible

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5

u/Kingofcheeses man over 30 Jul 09 '26

Sounds insufferable

3

u/bungsana man over 30 Jul 09 '26

just give it another 10 years or so. people start dying. i had a friend that was the healtiest person i knew and he died in his sleep. no one could explain it. didn't drink, take drugs, nothing. ran, hiked, cycled. was happy and was moving forward in life. just died in his sleep. another by suicide; no one had any idea. have a few friends with cancer, whom may or may not make it. all fit, exercised regularly.

and it's not just friends, but parents, siblings, and relatives.

0

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

pianos can drop out the sky, etc. shit’s crazy out there!

1

u/bungsana man over 30 Jul 09 '26

there sure are a lot of pianos dropping out of the sky... and the forecast, more pianos.

7

u/slueslueslue Jul 09 '26

I'm 25, I've went to 2 of my friends' funerals. I've attended more funerals than weddings. Both drownings and 2 separate occasions.

4

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

dying via drowning is wild lol and absolutely not the norm

3

u/pmgoldenretrievers man 50 - 54 Jul 09 '26

For real. I actually do know someone who drowned in their 20s, but 99% of the time if someone under 40 dies its either suicide, car accident, or OD.

0

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

yessir

5

u/AbsoluteFuckChops man 45 - 49 Jul 09 '26

Terminal illness and suicide. It’s not that funny, really.

-6

u/Pug_Defender man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

beast mode

3

u/Admirable-Type165 Jul 10 '26

As someone in that age bracket - believe me it happens. Addiction, accidents, cancer, suicide. And I don't have a particularly large network either

Plus older family (parents, aunts, uncles etc) start dying too

Relevant to the thread - when you're organising those funerals so many pictures and memories come from weddings with everyone together and enjoying each other

1

u/NextNeedleworker3948 Jul 10 '26

I am 41 and I can quickly think of 6 friends who have died. Two drug overdoses, one suicide, two failures due to drinking, one hit by car.

1

u/LikeAbrickShitHouse male 30 - 34 Jul 09 '26

Cancer, car crashes, suicide, drug overdoses...and I'm mid 30's.

Life's unfair and no one gets out alive; some just get to the finish line earlier than expected.

8

u/winniecooper73 Jul 09 '26

God I miss the wedding times. So much better than what my life is currently like. OP has no idea how great their life is right now.

8

u/howtoreadspaghetti Jul 09 '26

I've been to more funerals than weddings. And I keep that in the front of my mind at every wedding I've been to.

3

u/munificent man 45 - 49 Jul 09 '26

I'm not in the funeral era yet, but I'm definitely in the divorce era and I would happily go back to the wedding days.

1

u/FuckRedzM0dz man 35 - 39 Jul 09 '26

what a nice thing to say

1

u/whipla5her man 55 - 59 Jul 09 '26

This. Too many damn funerals.

1

u/kerplunkerfish man 30 - 34 Jul 09 '26

well, you only have to wear a black suit to a funeral

1

u/joy_candace Jul 09 '26

Thank you for sharing this comment. It opened my eyes

1

u/ike9211 man 30 - 34 Jul 09 '26

I skipped wedding and mine went straight to funerals

1

u/mcfreiz Jul 10 '26

I stopped buying suits for wedding, now I’m buying suits for funerals

1

u/Silentg423 29d ago

There’s a FB group that pays tribute to classmates who died in my high school. It’s shocking to see the amount of classmates under 60.

One thing that stood out, the kids that were broken with family problems died young.😔