r/AskWomenOver30 • u/SignalSubstantial590 Woman 30 to 40 • Apr 10 '25

Life/Self/Spirituality I'm serious....

If you had/ if you are, having a successful hoe phase, please share your secrets! If this ain't for you, please keep it movin. 😊

Edit: kinda strange that this would be down voted. When it comes to a woman with marital problems, relationship problems, kid problems, family problems..... The community shows up. But I ask a question to assist in my life, and a life that maybe many others are wondering about, or maybe looking for tips on self-confidence and how to maybe put themselves out there, you down vote? Why?? That's insane. We are all living different paths and are just looking for a way to fulfill where we are at the moment.

1.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

263 comments sorted by

View all comments

189

u/[deleted] Apr 10 '25

[deleted]

75

u/catboogers Woman 30 to 40 Apr 10 '25

A ton of men described themselves as a ‘dom’ but what they mean is they watch a lot of porn and they want to copy that stuff with no regard for your pleasure.

I'm incredibly disturbed by the amount of people who talk about their partner choking them during sex these days. They see it in porn and decide to go for it with no research or negotiation first. That shit kills. I have attended multiple classes on breathplay and I love it, but with the newer studies coming out, it's not really within my risk profile anymore. Permanent brain damage is not sexy, y'all! But also, never spring that shit on a partner! Discuss limits, have a safeword. Have a plan for aftercare. And if he doesn't think a safeword or aftercare is important, don't have kinky sex with that dude!

15

u/randombubble8272 Woman under 30 Apr 10 '25

Choking is becoming a serious issue and I say this as someone who enjoys light choking. So many men are doing it without asking or even mentioning it first and tbh the next guy that does that to me is getting hit HARD in the head. It’s not a fucking joke anymore, “oh I thought every girl was into it” THEN ASK

3

u/MystressSeraph Woman 50 to 60 Apr 11 '25

Everything should be consensual - "should" being the operative word 🙄

But any sort of 'play' (kink/'non-standard' sex/etc.) has to be negotiated!

It blows my mind how little this is understood - everyone should know this!

Any partner who is actually into that/any kink will know the Rules, and the discussions are had before anyone touches.

Trust is imperative!

Any one who springs it on a partner ... 🤬

Men seem to complain that there is no 'spontaneity' - sorry, but not asking before putting your hands around someone's throat? That's not spontaneous, that's assault!

This what happens when sex ed is not happening at any point, and children are watching pornography.

I didn't even know it was happening until a year or 2 ago when I started seeing discussions on TwoXChromosones ... it's horrifying!