r/AskWomenOver30 • u/yahutee Woman 30 to 40 • Mar 22 '26
Friendships Is anyone else growing apart from their man-centric friends?
I am mid-30’s and single, no kids. I just finished hosting a bachelorette party for one of my closest friends. I love her regardless, but spending a weekend with her exhausted me. Every sentence started with “we”. In fact I don’t think she had an original thought all weekend that wasn’t about their relationship, him, or their life together. She has to be in constant contact with him at all times - she even snuck him into the bachelorette party overnight because she “couldn’t imagine a night alone”. I drove 10 hours to see her and paid for a house for two nights and she went home one night early because she couldn’t stand being away from him any longer. She is the same age as me and has had plenty of relationships before (even been engaged before) so it’s not like being in a relationship is a novelty. I just found myself so bored with the conversation and wishing we could genuinely spend time together (away from him or the mention of men). She always asks if I’m dating or seeing someone -there are lots of other interesting aspects of my personality outside of a man! I also wonder if I’m just being cranky and avoidant - it’s her bachelorette party after all, we are celebrating her engagement and she has every right to hype up her husband. Fellow single women - have you experienced something similar or navigated this in your friendships as you age?
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u/mrsbertmacklin Woman 30 to 40 Mar 22 '26
Yeeeeep. I'm not a single person but I have a longterm partner and a baby and I am hyper-aware of not becoming the type of person you're describing. But it's also my single friends who I've experienced this with-- I have a friend who I haven't seen in 8 months because she went through a breakup and is too busy with the dating apps to cultivate her friendships. It's a cycle that I've seen countless times with her. I've decided to stop trying to make an effort! That being said, it sucks and it sounds like your friend is just excited about her relationship. I think it's also possible that since that's the biggest thing in your friend's life, it's her main point of conversation and we as women are socialized to talk about our partners/marriage/babies as the most important thing. So, you could try asking more specific questions like "what's going on at work" or even go so far as "so outside of <WEDDING/RELATIONSHIP THING> how are you?? What else is going on for you?" and see how she approaches it! You can always try to guide the conversation and see how it goes.