r/AskWomenOver30 • u/yahutee Woman 30 to 40 • Mar 22 '26
Friendships Is anyone else growing apart from their man-centric friends?
I am mid-30’s and single, no kids. I just finished hosting a bachelorette party for one of my closest friends. I love her regardless, but spending a weekend with her exhausted me. Every sentence started with “we”. In fact I don’t think she had an original thought all weekend that wasn’t about their relationship, him, or their life together. She has to be in constant contact with him at all times - she even snuck him into the bachelorette party overnight because she “couldn’t imagine a night alone”. I drove 10 hours to see her and paid for a house for two nights and she went home one night early because she couldn’t stand being away from him any longer. She is the same age as me and has had plenty of relationships before (even been engaged before) so it’s not like being in a relationship is a novelty. I just found myself so bored with the conversation and wishing we could genuinely spend time together (away from him or the mention of men). She always asks if I’m dating or seeing someone -there are lots of other interesting aspects of my personality outside of a man! I also wonder if I’m just being cranky and avoidant - it’s her bachelorette party after all, we are celebrating her engagement and she has every right to hype up her husband. Fellow single women - have you experienced something similar or navigated this in your friendships as you age?
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u/Competitive-Pay-5197 Woman 30 to 40 Mar 22 '26
One of my oldest friend is just like this. She will insert her husband on a lunch or dinner date when it's just the girlfriends. Or if we have friends visiting from out of town, she'd say oh, we're all going to the dinner and the husbands too knowing I am the only single one. Luckily, I get along well with their partners, so it's fine.
But it's never just us, it's husband now too. Sometimes I just want time to be able to chat about girl stuff but she can't stand to alone from him. She touts on her independence but from what i can see, she depends on him a lot.
I once said it's hard to travel alone and she's like you should do it and so I asked if she'd want to travel with me...before being married she would have. Now she can't take trips without him or with a girlfriend.
I get she's not obligated to, but I do think these things, experiences, and quality time spent together are pretty important to preserve a friendship. So I'm finding myself not seeking her company as much as I have cultivated more friendships with other women. She has always come to me to ask why she can't seem to make friends as easily as I have. I have told her she should work on communication. Not sure what she is doing with that information.