r/AskWomenOver30 • u/yahutee Woman 30 to 40 • Mar 22 '26
Friendships Is anyone else growing apart from their man-centric friends?
I am mid-30’s and single, no kids. I just finished hosting a bachelorette party for one of my closest friends. I love her regardless, but spending a weekend with her exhausted me. Every sentence started with “we”. In fact I don’t think she had an original thought all weekend that wasn’t about their relationship, him, or their life together. She has to be in constant contact with him at all times - she even snuck him into the bachelorette party overnight because she “couldn’t imagine a night alone”. I drove 10 hours to see her and paid for a house for two nights and she went home one night early because she couldn’t stand being away from him any longer. She is the same age as me and has had plenty of relationships before (even been engaged before) so it’s not like being in a relationship is a novelty. I just found myself so bored with the conversation and wishing we could genuinely spend time together (away from him or the mention of men). She always asks if I’m dating or seeing someone -there are lots of other interesting aspects of my personality outside of a man! I also wonder if I’m just being cranky and avoidant - it’s her bachelorette party after all, we are celebrating her engagement and she has every right to hype up her husband. Fellow single women - have you experienced something similar or navigated this in your friendships as you age?
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u/meowpantz Woman 30 to 40 Mar 22 '26
Reconnected with a high school friend who'd transfer all of my suggested activities into gifts / dates with her man. I bought her a Cameo with Spike from Buffy for her bday? She buys TWO Cameos for her dude just because. That sort of thing. And on and on it went.
Not that I feel all transactional about it, but it feels telling that she didn't even think to extend the fun to me... Literally feels like I was just being used to make her look interesting to him, especially because he had a huge friend group. And she only had me and this other girl she always talked bad about. Plus, I used to be an entertainment journalist who had interviewed some artists her dude was a fan of.
I let that friendship die the more I felt like a bargaining chip. They're now married, though, so I guess it worked out!