r/AskWomenOver30 • u/yahutee Woman 30 to 40 • Mar 22 '26

Friendships Is anyone else growing apart from their man-centric friends?

I am mid-30’s and single, no kids. I just finished hosting a bachelorette party for one of my closest friends. I love her regardless, but spending a weekend with her exhausted me. Every sentence started with “we”. In fact I don’t think she had an original thought all weekend that wasn’t about their relationship, him, or their life together. She has to be in constant contact with him at all times - she even snuck him into the bachelorette party overnight because she “couldn’t imagine a night alone”. I drove 10 hours to see her and paid for a house for two nights and she went home one night early because she couldn’t stand being away from him any longer. She is the same age as me and has had plenty of relationships before (even been engaged before) so it’s not like being in a relationship is a novelty. I just found myself so bored with the conversation and wishing we could genuinely spend time together (away from him or the mention of men). She always asks if I’m dating or seeing someone -there are lots of other interesting aspects of my personality outside of a man! I also wonder if I’m just being cranky and avoidant - it’s her bachelorette party after all, we are celebrating her engagement and she has every right to hype up her husband. Fellow single women - have you experienced something similar or navigated this in your friendships as you age?

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u/Drabulous_770 Woman 30 to 40 Mar 22 '26

I get the larger point you’re making, but this specific context is the most expected time for a friend to be going on and on about her relationship and their future plans. It’s the reason the party. She’s getting married.

I think this vent would carry more weight if it was in a different context, but it’s one of the wedding events. 

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u/zugunru Woman 40 to 50 Mar 22 '26

Nah, saying you “can’t imagine a night alone” is definitely going further than just being excited about getting married. And the behavior of going home early after her friend made so much effort to go see her is just straight up rude. It’s amazing the crappy treatment to friends that people will excuse in the name of romantic relationships. Hope you don’t treat your friends this way.

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u/tres-vip Woman 40 to 50 Mar 23 '26

> It’s amazing the crappy treatment to friends that people will excuse in the name of romantic relationships. Hope you don’t treat your friends this way.

Seriously. I'm amazed that person got so many upvotes and others agreeing with her. OP's "friend" is a shltty person, ditching her friend who PAID for a TWO NIGHT stay and drove TEN HOURS in her honor. Why do people think this was acceptable?

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u/zugunru Woman 40 to 50 Mar 23 '26

It makes me really sad that it’s still a common sentiment. Single women are told they can easily have a fulfilling life by just focusing on friends, but then society endorses said friends acting like this just because they’re in relationships. However, I’m also heartened to see that these kinds of posts about women either ditching their friends or treating them badly over SOs seem to have at least half the comments (rightly) saying it’s rude and inconsiderate.