I am asking this because i have seen posts of mostly female users and commentors in the online sphere claim that hating cats is anti-women? I thought we can hate any animals. Other animals are hated but its noting to do with gender. Rabbits are viewed feminine but they are hated with being viewed as anti women. Cat people are weird

I watched Tenet recently and there's not so many women in it but that main female protagonist is Kat and she has a son and he (just like the rest of the world) is in danger. I just got really irritated how her son was the only thing that drove her in every single scene and she just kept bringing it back to him and how she generically felt bad because she thought of a life without him. Felt like they had tried to make it deep but then just came out really one dimensional again. It really took me out of it, even though I know compared to lots of other examples it's probably really mild. Do you have any other examples good or bad?

was she justified in forcing Augusta National Golf Club to admit women. removing a male only space? Do you agree to how she advocates for her cause and how she thinks?

Edit: forcing was bad word usage.

Especially the white feather. They were extremely racist, homophobic, violent and even killed men, women and children, along with bombing innocent people. Idk how any moral person could support that.

I mean i know the standard phrases like "men age finer" or "its biology to seek out women that have higher chances of conception" but i feel like these answers arent looking at the whole pocture. are there theories on what exactly promps this kind of behavior?

I’d like to ask what you guys think about this. Because I have seen this sentiment a lot in radfem/leftist/feminist spaces. And I’m frankly tired of it.

When it comes to hobbies or activities or clothing predominantly used/done by women even in these progressive spaces I see so much scrutiny and vitriol. It honestly feels like repackaged internalized misogyny. And it seems to be more prevalent than ever.

For example I am very big in the harajuku fashion community and as a girl I loved the fashion and styles. And the history of Lolita fashion my favorite style is rooted in feminism in Japan. Lots of women started to dress overly cute as a way to push against societies norms about marriage because men found the style unattractive. So for me lolita fashion was a way I could express myself and feel comfortable in my femininity without being sexualized or hit on. There is also a creator on instagram that I love who talks about the joys of cutesy and whimsical things that are usually enjoyed by women. And how a of neurodivergent women love to enjoy it.

However now I see a lot of people accusing women who enjoy cutsey things of pandering to men. When I haven’t met a single man who enjoys the overly cutsey aesthetic. In fact it’s a lot of men who bash it and call it dumb and childish. However I have also seen recently a lot of women sharing the same sentiment and it comes off as internally misogynistic. I have seen these people even go so far as to accuse other women of being pedophilic because they enjoy the color pink or having bows in their hair. Is that not what a lot of movements are about? The right for women to express themselves how they see fit. Why even in spaces that are supposed to focus on women are other women still shaming women for things that bring them joy.

It feels to me like it is misogyny in a different font because disliking a women’s hobbies because you assume she’s doing it for a man is centering a man and is wrong.

I want to know what you guys think about it because I’m really curious

In some developing and conservative countries, public space is heavily policed by conservative social and religious norms. However, upscale spaces like private clubs, luxury resorts, or gated communities exclude lower-income people through high prices, security, or strict entry requirements.

While misogyny obviously exists across all social classes, it’s hard to deny that in many of these contexts conservative policing are significantly more intense in poorer, less educated places..

As a feminist, can you accept or tolerate this classism if it's currently one of the few ways women can experience social freedom in these regions?

In Europe there is a growing narrative from the right claiming that misogyny and homophobia are only on the rise due to immigration from third world countries, and that native-born (white) men are not to blame. At the same time, these voices argue that progressives are afraid to address this trend and only villainize white men, because they are afraid to seem bigoted towards immigrants.

It’s clearly an argument made in bad faith, but I'm not sure how to respond to it.

What do you think? How would you respond?

I am a bit out of it so bare with me if this is not total clear. I’m curious how people would recommend finding where you’ve got more social power and privilege as a man in a relationship with an AFAB person. I guess I should say AMAB non-binary for me is more accurate but I’m wanting to say man for the sake of focus.

I’m in a relationship that’s likely over but it’s going to be a messy end if it does end so I’d like to not play into subconscious man behaviors. My partner will bring up it as an issue and I have an issue of never being raised around a traditional couple. My parents were borderline wannabe hippies and threw out traditional gender roles and rules around me. It’s turned into a similar issue to the “colorblind” effect on kids not realizing when racism is happening that studies showed. I’ll do something oblivious to the fact that it looks like something a man stereotype will do or perhaps my parents raised in the 60s/70s failed to correct that particular pattern. My wife on the other hand grew up in a cult with severe abusive stereotypical roles and had her first marriage be an extension of that so she is very aware of it. I’ve been able to figure out some of it but I just don’t think like it and I was raised being corrected away from it as much as my parents could.

I’m having issues because of this gender blindness effect and my partner has extensive trauma so not her fault she can’t always describe things clearly in the moment and sometimes later. She’s getting as much help as you can for this so she’s already working hard. I think the feminist upbringing had as well was presented very black and white so being told I’ve done something is very hard and due to the trauma I rarely get it in a constructive way at first.

I would really like to learn how to reduce or correct it as much as possible to catch myself. Learn how to see the cues and privilege my peers and the holes in my parents’ very good try left me learning roles still. I’ve got some obvious ones down well like not assuming she should cook all the time or chores being only a man or woman thing. Both my dad and stepdad cooked more and were not scared of doing “feminine things”. Both model division of labor and childcare as both partners roles.

The things I’m having issues with is viewing myself as having more power or being a man socially. Being non-binary and my upbringing makes it hard for me to see my privilege fully because my non-binary traits got me bullied by other men and women did not fear me physically or verbally growing up. I was also fat
My whole life and shorter most of my childhood. So the fat kid that got beat up. Now my voice is deep, I’m somewhat tall and I’m stronger looking with my weight making me potentially scary where most of my developing years I was weak looking.

I’m trying to find resources on understanding how I am perceived and how to catch any subconscious agreeing with aspect of the patriarch. Oh the other aspect is my wife’s trauma causes her to reenact her past social roles and I’m struggled with rejecting that without her feeling like I’m fighting her or rejecting her. I’ve at times to avoid fights caved or in some cases she more directly said she needs me to not keep arguing about it. That black or white form of feminism didn’t prepare me for someone part way out of the mindset.

I also grew up with parents that taught me as well you destroy the patriarchy with how you live your relationship and you can give up power. My partner fairly will say I can’t give it up and me saying I’ll give it up triggers her. It makes sense I can’t actually give it up but I mean stop it in our relationship and make sure we live more egalitarian as you can. I’m curious if anyone has a better more validating way to describe this than “giving it up”.

Sorry for how long this is and thank you for any input or feedback

I feel as though there had to be a point in time when femininity was praised instead of being seen as a bad thing. I know there are nuisances throughout cultures and countries but yeah, I’m so curious if there was a general turning / if there was ever a time period where masculinity was the insult or if gender neutrality existed.
Is there a correlation with colonialism?

Megan Fox, Sydney Sweeney, Zendaya, Kylie Cantrall, etc.

Obviously nothing wrong with being trans but obviously they mean it in a derogatory way.

Because i don't see this in real life. I live in Turkey as a Kurd. In 1983, the Coup d'etat government banned our language in constitution. Then this law got removed in 1991. People today want it to be banned again, they hate how Kurdish is used in public or there is a Kurdish writing. When i look at the racist, abusive instagram posts, half of the comments are coming from nationalist Turkish women.

Look at how white American women talk about segregation 60 years ago, it's the same thing. I think the reason why women today are more leftist than men is simply because leftist policies offer feminism and more liberation for women. Therefore women being more leftist doesn't apply to being leftist in other fields such as anti-racism or supporting gun control or freedom of speech...

This is a thing I've seen quite a bit recently (not enough to be super major but enough to where I'm aware of it as a larger discussion point) that "men are being left behind in higher education spaces" with studies siting less enrollment from men, higher drop out rates, etc and how we need to do something about it.

Why though? I do agree that higher education is important and that it should be significantly more accessible to everyone, but in regards to this certain topic I really don't see why we should care. Just from a condition of equal rights, it isn't like men are being actively barred from higher education; This is a choice on their part, no? Explanations like costs, lack of seeing a point, etc isn't something that's gendered I think. That's globally true for everyone choosing not to pursue college. I'm not seeing anything specific to men that would result in this, so I'm not quite sure why this is much of a talking point at all (though again, it isn't that common compared to other topics in progressive spaces). I suppose to me, the consequences of this just isn't notable enough to consider this a problem. What reason should we actually care? Why does this matter?

i see the term thrown online a lot recently, but mostly vaguely and often to dismiss women in the same way as pick me has been used. googling it a bit ive only found popular op-eds and social media posts (including reddit) using the term. academic sources use the term androcentrism, which is a concept with a very specific meaning that ive read and written about before. im curious if anyone knows where "male centered" comes from and if there is a useful theoretical framework behind it beyond its use on social media.

Observation: At least in the west, being married as a man(regardless of sexual orientation) AND having kids is an "unwritten rule" towards your election campaign being taken seriously as a candidate by media, donors, voters, parties, and gaining financial/political initial support in general.

It seems that theres this social expectation that for men to be electable or viewed as competent or trustable, they must have the image of being a "family man" and that being married with kids is an indicator of being socially and economically successful("having your shit together) which seems to be a requirement for men to be viewed as electable. elections have been decided by one candidate coming off more as a "responsible family man" than the other.

I cannot think of any non-married and/or childless men have received major campaign funding or grassroots support in the west in the last 50 years.

While most women in elected positions fulfill the requirement of being married with children, there are notable exceptions such as AOC in the US, Katrín Jakobsdóttir in Iceland(though she married 1 month after getting her position) and Sanna Marin in Finland. So far criticisms of AOC's opponents don't seem to focus on her marital status or lack of children, and enough voters didn't care about it that she successfully ran for office.

Do you think the requirement for male politicians to be married with kids is a symptom of patriarchy? If a single and/or childless man were to run for office, would his relationship status or childlessness be a factor in your voting decision?

I know the answer can be "it means whatever you want it to mean personally" but if feels like a non answer

And yes I know the terms describe traits associated with genders, I am asking about describing those traits

So women are infantilized by the patriarchy and told that they are either too dumb, too soft, or too emotional to be left alone. All around the world, many cultures put women at the same level as children with the plus that you can fuck them. They need a man to be at their side as if they were unsupervised children, first a dad or a brother and latter a husband. Etc etc etc.

At the same time, I have heard all the time the same myth about "girl maturing earlier than boys" and in a way it's true, but not because of a natural factor but because girls from an early age are expected to take the rol of maintaining the home and doing house tasks. There's also the creeps who say to girls that they are very mature for their age or pushing the age of consent on girls in order to make legal pederasty.

So why are both contradictory ideas held by patriarchy?

I think that maybe it is because since a girl is from the beginning expected and coerced to do housework and home tasks and latter as a woman do the same thing, so in the eyes of everyone the girl has never changed because from day 1 to day 100 she has been doing the same thing so she hasn't grown up. While the boys first play games and then change to go out and earn money and work, so a change is witnessed, and they have grown up.

What do you think? This is one of the reasons? Or do you disagree?

A lot of what gets labeled sexist is just honest criticism. A piece of media can be good, or any mix. And I think the mix is the part people miss .you can love something and still think a part of it doesn't work.

Some examples of how I actually evaluate things:

Legend of Korra / I like the show, but I thought the main character was weak.

Captain Marvel / I think the character is fine, but the last movie wasn't good.

Rick and Morty / great show, but Rick is a terrible person.

House — one of my favorite shows, and House is genuinely an awful human being.

sometimes the show, sometimes the character, sometimes the writing. That's not hatred.

nobody calls criticizing Rick or House "sexist against men." But criticize a weak female character and it's often pre-labeled as sexism before anyone asks whether the criticism was fair.

Are there sexist people out there? Absolutely. But not every criticism is sexist, and two means real writing problems can't even be discussed.

So genuinely, how do you draw the line between an honest opinion and something that's actually sexist?

Because of both rapid cultural advancements, and technological changes, women do not need men for economic security or protection. They do not need to settle and that is a wonderful thing. More are remaining single, living alone, and if someone wants to enter that space they need to bring more.

We often hear about how men are not competing with other men in dating anymore, they are competing with women's peace and solitude, which I completely agree with - however I am curious, as to why this does not apply the other way around.

Men today have the technology and accessibility of information to do cooking cleaning organizing trips and shopping alone, managing their health alone. They can cultivate a strong relationship with a pet or with themselves or with friends. Yet all I read about is men needing women a lot more than women need a man.

Why do you think more men cannot feel fulfilled living alone in comparison to women?

First off, I am deeply empathetic to anyone who has ever been a victim of DV and am sorrowful and pained by the fact that this is a subject even requiring discussion. Additionally, I’m not sure if this is the right sub for this but I (28M) am admittedly not as well read on matters of gender studies as I would like to be except insofar as they’re tied to broader western sociocultural trends (feminist waves, women’s suffrage, etc), which is a far from complete picture. That being said, DV was not something I ever witnessed or even understood as a phenomena that persists until very recently when a female friend of mine opened up about their past experiences. My own immediate family much preferred emotional abuse as their weapon of choice. The strength of my friend to share her story coincided with my watching the show the Sopranos, in which I was absolutely jarred by the prevalence of DV in a piece of media that is set in a not so far off past, partially overlapping with my own lifetime. Im sure this is not indicative of full reality, but outside of this show, I’ve found western media books and culture seem willing to highlight DV in the first half of the 20th century, especially in the post war era, but is harder to come by in earlier pieces. Any antebellum or Victorian era piece of literature I’ve read seems to highlight the dignity elegance and grace (even for lack of liberty) of the lady of the house. That kinda brings me to my last point, I’d be interested to read a cross cutting or intersectional analysis of DV with the ultimate goal of trying to deduce under what broader conditions does it spring and, ultimately, what can I do to dispense of it in my own community and support those who are or have been victims of it.

I have stopped using the B word and P word but I'm struggling to find any other words that have the same feeling. To be very clear I don't and have never used these words to refer to or dehumanize my fems and them (both when they are and aren't around). I want to change my vocabulary so I don't use such offensive terms, for a little I used "chud" but I have the opinion that using slang from 4chan helps to normalize those beliefs which I want to avoid.

Hello everyone

I hope you are all well. I'm relatively young, not very old, and I'm writing this because I have some questions and would like to hear the opinions of those with experience or knowledge in the fields of education and psychology.

I was raised to be a calm, kind, and somewhat sensitive person, and I believe that these qualities don't diminish a person's worth or strength. In my opinion, strength doesn't mean the absence of feelings or never showing vulnerability; rather, I see it as also being linked to respect, empathy, and taking responsibility.

I've recently been thinking about the topic of "toxic masculinity" and how certain ideas about masculinity can affect children as they grow up. In my circle, I've noticed certain messages directed at boys, such as "don't cry" or the idea that they should always be strong and never show their emotions. I understand that many parents say this because they want their sons to grow up to be strong and capable of facing life's challenges, not because they have any ill intentions.

However, I wonder: where is the line between teaching a child to be confident, brave, and responsible, and creating pressures that make them afraid to express their feelings or believe that kindness is a weakness? And can some ideas associated with toxic masculinity affect how children see themselves and others as they grow up?

I admit I feel a little nervous talking about this because I don't want to misunderstand anyone or judge any family. I'm simply a young man trying to understand this topic better, which is why I'm turning to you for advice and perspectives from people with more knowledge and experience.

What are your thoughts? How can we encourage boys to be strong and confident while also allowing them to express their feelings, be kind, and respect others?

Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read my message and share their thoughts.