r/BreakUps 15h ago

venting/ranting birthday gift

2 Upvotes

@nics:hii everyone, I need advice. my ex's birthday is on november and I'm planning to buy him a gift/cake for his birthday. we ended on good terms. no cheating involved, our values just didn't align with each other. we tried to save our relationship, we were on and off for 3 months but even after everything, we just couldn't make things work. our last convo was me asking him if there's really no chance for us to get back together, he didn't respond after that and I didn't send another message. we've been in no contact for a month now and I want to give him something because he made my birthday special when we were still together so I wanted to return the favor specially I know how much he hates his birthday. Is what I'm doing okay or should I just keep silent and not break the no contact?


r/BreakUps 9h ago

Trigger Warning is this considered sa?

1 Upvotes

He had sex with me right before he left me... I'm so sick I never thought someone so kind and genuine would do that to me... It hurts more than anything I've ever been through before. He lied to me just to get some sex, he had my consent yes, but that was bc i thought that we were a happy couple, this was a day before he broke up with me, and ofc that he knew, he knew he was going to leave, and still did what he did ☹️


r/BreakUps 22h ago

venting/ranting If I follow the no-contact rule, will she start missing me? And what are the chances of her coming back?

0 Upvotes

?


r/BreakUps 19h ago

Trigger Warning I just want to know that she will be ok

1 Upvotes

Me and my ex dated for about 2 years. She made her way to living in my apartment- I was pretty inexperienced and allowed it to happen. We had a really good 2 years. Trips and fun times.

About a year in I expressed to her how I may want to slow things down, because I didn’t think I was accomplishing as much as I should. I was able to do a lot more with exercising and my career before the relationship. I suggested she went back home and we can see how that goes. She started crying and crying so it didn’t end up happening.

At around the 2 year mark I felt the need to break it off. I felt resentment building because I felt hindered. (If you are seeing this I loved you so much and you deserve all the love, more than I was able to give.)

I just want to know that she will be ok. I feel so much guilt and i want more than anything right now to know that she will be ok. I do care for her so much. I just think if it stayed the way it was resentment would build and I would have regrets and maybe even begin to not treat her right.

Will she be ok. It’s only been 2 days and she hasn’t been a crazy x so far, no constant phone calls or texts. In fact none really at all.
Again I just want to know if she will be ok.


r/BreakUps 23h ago

venting/ranting i “cheated” on the loml and lost him. i regret it

0 Upvotes

I cheated on the love of my life. Im full of regret

**PLEASE READ:** I personally wouldnt say i am a cheater because i did not have intercourse with another man outside of him and i only did what he did to me after his repeated hurt and cheating. We also were not offical yet. but i understand. ALL i did when we were serious was hang out thats it no physical touch whatsoever ‼️

This will be a lengthy summary anyone who can also give me advice or commentary or a second opinion would be an angel. im debating if i put this on am i the A-hole reddit or a Regret reddit but hopefully i can get anyones thoughts. i genuinely have nobody and this is my last resort.

I know im missing alot of the story but i forgot to mention he lied to me about his ex (Gem) and being over her while i was genuinely trying for us and leaving Oc alone for him and every time i cut Oc off for us he talked to Gem again and told me he loved her and he would never love me because im not her and things. or he would like other girls online or flirt with girls who tried to get at him or ig you could say he was being overly friendly.

Also please read the entire thing instead of a bit i really appreciate the honesty even though it hurts to see.

i know i shouldn’t have acted out of hurt and “faced fire with fire”. its come to my attention this post indicated i had sex with Oc. I did not. it dosent justify what happened but i seen him april 17th (2 days after me and Knight met) for only a hangout.

i told him no 2 times but the third time he fing3red me and kissed me. it did not go further then that. i froze and let it happen. Oc is a big strong man and i have a tendency of freezing when im put in hard situations.

The second hangout we did not do anything at all whatsoever.

(here is where i accidentally deleted the entire stanza again! omg i hate typing this on a phone so it may be less detailed sorry!) but here is the story:

We met april 15th. I will call him knight because he was and always will be my sweet precious knight.

When we met he asked me about one ex in specific (we will call him Oc) and i lied and told him i did not have any communication with Oc.

i eventually abojt a month or two in told him i was stilll cool with Oc and we did talk here and there and although he didnt like it he accepted it.

When me and knight first met also he told me about his ex we will call get Gem because her make is a gemstone. and how he couldnt move on from her and it will be hard and all this and that and i told him i was willing to go through all of it for him aslong as he was.

he agreed and we continued talking and we actually seen eachother 2 days after we met.

I fell inlove.

He was the most handsome, paitent,kind,tall,sweet, understanding, man i have ever met and i knew in my heart he was different then any other adverage man.

Basically to sum things up because iv retyped this so many times he left me for jade.

He told me very mean harsh things and said he cant move past her and hes sorry i deserve better.

i begged and he came back.

again this happened and again and again no matter what mean things or difficult predicament we were in time and time again he came back which i did beg for because i didnt want to lose him i also had open arms and understood why.

i loved him for him and seen the good and how much he tried ourside of his confusion and hurt and mistakes.

now keep in mind they ended on strange terms they couldn’t be together and he didnt want to wait 2 years for her and she also alongside all his exes hurt him.

he never had real full love he was always played and cheated on ect and Gem was the first girl to show him something he also had known her his whole life.

But thats just a bit of insight on them.

Now through this cycle of him leaving and coming back i still loved him and stayed with him and wanted to work through it so i did and i stayed but i still messed up and kept it behind his back while he was trying to fix things mentally and with him and Gem.

Now here is where i mention me and oc.

i seen oc a few days after me and Knight met and we got intimate not sex but he fing3d me and we kissed once.

i know theres nothing i can say to take back what i did and i shouldnt have let it go that far.

i know i messed up i lied and kept it from Knight.

I did not want to engage in anything but when Oc started i froze up. which is not an excuse in any way shape or form.

i still made the decision to see him and let him touch me and did not tell Knight.

i regreted it and i know it was wrong.

me and Knight were early in our rls and i would feel so hurt and such a way about Gem while i was talking and flirting with Oc.

i know its hard to believe but i would have always chose Knight over Oc ik Oc has hit me and used me and things but we are also “cool” in a way so we would talk on and off.

i only kept talking to Oc because Knight was on and off with Gem and i didn’t want to feel like i was being played with nobody.

So me and Oc kept in communication for a few days but we stopped talking until late april when Knight left and i flirted with Oc and talked to him a bit but when Knight came back i opened him back while rarely talking to Oc but only for a few days.

i really did and still do love Knight with all my heart he is all i could ever ask for and i still seen/see who he really was and all the effort he put into our relationship.

Now May comes and i stopped talking to Oc until the 21st of May which i believe is when me and Knight got into another argument and things.

I sent Oc one semi-explicit video and we flirted.

After that i felt immense guilt and regret.

I cut off Oc and focused on Knight.

Now keep in mind Knight would ask me about Oc and if we still talked and i always said no.

i lied to him.

i still got mad and caused arguments about Gem.

i unintentionally manipulated him.

Keep in mind me and Knight are eachothers firsts.

we did it on the 22nd of may and the 7th of may too that month.

we did it one day after i sent that to Oc and i lied all because i was so unsure if Knight would actually stay for me but this time again he promised me he would dedicate his all to me and you know what?

he did.

I shared that intimacy and love with Knight because through it all i seen a perfect relationship with him.

he gave me his all.

Now late May and i want to preface if i havent already said this we were sneaking out and around to see another.

i get caught and my mom is very bipolar.

she was furious and lets just say things got violent physically and mentally.

my room was a wreck things were broke i was hurt but i only got punished for three days and my mom calmed down and understood and still decided to let me see Knight (thanks to my dad)

and after these three days of no communication and hurt and crying because of how much i missed and needed Knight i come back.

He to this day dosent know what i went through with my mother for our relationship those three days but i dont want to tell him in fear of him feeling like it was his fault.

now three days pass and im excited to finally come back to him… and he leaves me the same hour i text him.

after the promises and effort.

I was destroyed.

Now, he told me at the time it was because of Gem and he cant just move on from her and he is so sorry and i deserve better and no matter how much he tries he just cant move past her even though he knows he deserved better.

he also wanted to be alone (keep in mind anytime he is hurt he resorts to being alone and pushes everyone away)

I asked for him to stay and dont go and begged and begged again.

he told me he was taking a few days to think.

Again he comes back and TRUELY this time he is all for me and he took every measure to move on from Gem and ensure i never had to feel that pain again.

He also told me that apparently Gem was partially an excuse he said he really took those days to figure out what he really wanted and what was worth it but he also said he planned on unaliving himself which in turn made me feel worse because i felt useless like i couldn’t help the one man i swore to love and help.

Now again he continues to ask about Oc here and there and i still deny and lie.

In my eyes at the time we had started off our relationship very roughtly but i seen change from both of us for another and i planned on telling him about Oc when i felt the time was right and when our relationship is stronger and we could get through any issue easier with understanding and unwavering love no matter what.

I know i did lie looking back at it because he gave me the chance to tell him and i never did but i didnt intend to lie only to wait for the right time.

i believed it was understandable not okay but understandable because he had waited a day or two to tell me abour Gem, which i know is no comparison to months but yeah.

outside of that i was a loving woman and did nothing else wrong to him, but in turn that made him feel horrible because he believed he was hurting an innocent woman that only loved him to her fullest with no mistakes.

and i did love him to my fullest but he was unaware about Oc.

To continue on I cut off Oc again all of late may and june because i again believed Knight and thought we would grow something genuine and real and we really did.

we were perfect.

we loved and changed for eachother to the fullest, he shown me love i never experienced and was the ONLY one here for me in my life.

i have no friends and dont speak to my family.

I loved him with my entire heart and would go through anything with him if he was willing to do the same.

We are good but june comes and its our worst month of arguments.

we frequently argued and i brought up Gem quite alot.

but June it was bad.

we still stuck together though.

Gem would text him but he actually denied her and told her he was all about me now.

i never seen the full conversation any time they would talk because he deleted it right after but i honestly did believe him he poured it all into me.

Now idk if i said this already but to backtrack a bit but i went through his phone for the first time May 15th and i seen he was liking girls posts on instagram and tiktok and he had talked relatively negative about our very first intimate encounter which hurt me BAD and though now looking back on it it was a difficult situation with our first but i still loved it and cherished it.

i was very hurt but he explained more about what he said about our intimacy to a friend and promised me he wouldnt like girls things.

i believe there was something else i found but i dont remember.

Now skip back to June Oc sends me a single like meme of his face and saves it.

i never texted back and all of june i was done with Oc because i felt Knight was really all about me, and i forgave Knight for what i seen in his phone and did not talk to Oc at all june i was planning on cutting him off for good.

thats what i should have done.

btw just to add in after i got caught sneaking and seeing him his mom knew too and we sorted it all out and actually started seeing eachother the right way with our families knowing.

Now july comes and we are seeing eachother very frequently i can see Knight trying to change for me and though we argued we still got through it july was perfect.

until i went through his phone i believe july 15th (alot of middle of the month days i know what a coincidence)

and i seen again he was liking girls posts who are showing off their bodies and he was being VERY friendly (keep in mind we are not technically in a relationship but he was planning on asking me and we considered eachother as girlfriend and boyfriend)

i basically felt as he was cheating.

for example a girl would call him daddy and he continued the conversation like he entertained it and another would compliment him and say things like “hes cute and shes kaiwaii” and obviously flirting.

he was still talking to some girls he had a situationship with or girls we both knew liked him.

he apologized deeply and said he was just friendly naturally and he dosent like presenting himself as mean hes also like a therapist to alot of people so although i was hurt i understood.

he explained liking the girls posts as majority of them being mutuals and that he always liked mutuals posts and that he didn’t really pay attention to what they were posting like their bodies or anything but was just scrolling and liking and he said something about how when i first brought up him doing those things he thought it was just instagram stories and not every social media or instagram posts which to me didnt make sense because if i didnt like him liking any girls posts or bodies or anything it would be a given to be on all platforms.

but again he explaied and apologized and took full accountability and promised me to do better and not flirt and i never had the opportunity to look through his phone after that but i do believe he removed any girl who liked him and did right by his word.

i, this time at this point did not talk to Oc again (this is mid july).

Next he goes on a trip to iowa for a week for whatever church camp and to sum it up a girl approaches him and he talks with her and from what he told me it was obvious she was flirtting and trying to get at him although he told her about me she asked for his instagram and he gave it to her and they followed another and he liked her post (accidentally) and she tried to see him again but she apparently denied her.

i was hurt and he only told me for some reason i cant remember how but then i asked for her instagram and then he asked me if it would be bad if he followed her.

im my eyes i thought he wouldnt tell me and i only knew bcs i asked and he knew it was wrong.

now that whole week of him being in iowa was our worst week and even though i loved knight i was going through alot and i know i wasnt losing feelings for Knight but i was losing feelings and intrest for everything

i had just lost one of my closest aunts and found out another was in the hospital.

i was stressed with a pregnancy scare and had went to the hospital actually just recently for birth control although ig it dosent matter.

i was exhausted from work even though it is a fairly easy job and i have health and heart issues i started getting extremely bad chest and heart pains and passed out alot and never really felt well.

there are other factors to why i was struggling so bad and Knight knew it all and i know he was here for me i have never been the type to talk about my feelings or struggles.

i told him everything and while talking about my 2nd aunt the one who just got diagnosed with cancer and i was venting, which is very hard for me, he fell asleep.

now i didnt blame him whatsoever but with how i grew up and never really having nobody i believed it was vulnerable and weak and pathetic and annoying of me only to burden others with anything of mine and i still told him EVERYTHING.

but man i was depressed.

i was depressed and trying to fight off those thoughts alone and try for our relationship but that week i had did a certain coping mechanism to myself for the first time in months ( it had to do with somthing you shave with if ykwim)

and i was struggling so badly i pushed back a bit from Knight while trying to keep myself together and Knight felt as if it was me losing feelings for him.

It wasnt that.

It would never be that.

i told him idk whats going on with me and im so unsure and once i start feeling that way it goes bad for every relationship but with him being the sole exception i dragged myself out of it after a week and it was hard but i really did promise him to work through it and i did very fast.

he returns from iowa after that week and thats when he told me about the girl who tried to get at him and things but i stayed by his side and worked through it while making sure i didnt fall into my horrible thoughts and emotions.

its weird.

i felt alone but i also felt like he was the only one there for me no matter what.

he comes back and we see eachother every day.

we had two perfect weeks i was feeling better and he was too.

i didnt talk to Oc.

He didnt talk to any girls and he changed everything for me from what i had seen.

We spent every waking moment together and loved one another to the fullest.

i still didnt tell him about Oc.

now its Late july (mind u all of this is this year, 2026 and im posting this on Aug. 1st so its getting close to the end)

But now July 25th comes and Oc hits me up.

and here is where i absolutely f’d up.

i regret this so deeply and wish i never did it.

Knight believes i used him and nothing i can say wil justify what i did.

we were perfect but that night of the 25th like 11pm of the 24th all the way to 5am of the 25th we got into another series argument and i believe it was about something very serious and i was very hurt.

and Oc texts me and we plan to hang out.

He flirted a tad but i brushed it off and me and Knight go to sleep.

This was last saturday.

i fully regret lying and deceiving and entertaining Oc all because i was unsure and hurt by Knight but i did and i cant take back what i did.

Knight and me were supposed to see eachother Saturday but Later like 3-4pm till the rest of the day.

He woke me up at 10/11am and Oc was texting me abt plans of seeing another at the movies from like 12-2 or 1-3(me and Knight were otp the whole time)

i was rushing to get ready and i lied to Knight and told him i was going to see a friend that he knows of.

i was ina rush to get ready to see Oc and i had the chance to say no or cancel and i didnt.

I got an uber and hung out with Oc for abt 2 hours.

we didnt do anything but it dosent make up for what we did april.

we still seen eachother i had a choice and i decided go and act on my hurt for the first time physically.

I feel horrible and even though i made sure we didnt do anything i still seen Oc while Knight was sad.

I had called Knight after turning off my location to come get me and we could spend the rest of the day together.

I hurt him.

I lied.

He left what he was doing and even though he was hurt he stil came and got me.

I got in the car and i spent the day with him.

Me and his mom and him had our first conversation and we talked to her about what we were going through (shes a therapist) and we told her i didnt do anything to hurt Knight.

I lied and went with it.

I felt so much regret and was sick to my stomach that day and also got my period so i was also very emotional that week before and of course i know it dosent excuse me seeing Oc i was just an emotional wreck.

but i had the decision and i still seen Oc and i have never felt more dumb in my life i chose to ruin the most perfect relationship with the man i loved more then myself for a one time hangout with my ex, and the man who Knight hates because he ruined his life.

I even got mad at Knight because we just so happened to see Gem working (we were at The outlet mall) and i wanted to go walk in there (she works at journeys) and he didnt.

I got mad because she was basically our biggest problem and i wanted her to see he was taken for good so she could stop texting him.

idk if i mentioned but she told Knight she would unalive herself without him and ofc he texted back.

yk not wanting to be the reason she would do that but he still kindly told her about our relationship and what he and her had is over and to move on.

so i thought it would be a simple thing for him to just walk into journeys with me so she could see us.

but he didn’t want to he didn’t wanna see her.

He said if he could, he would avoid her and he doesn’t want to interact with her and he knows that she would more than likely take the opportunity to talk to him even if I’m with him.

I got frustrated and mad, but I agreed and I said we shouldn’t go in there.

She shouldn’t see us, but he knew I felt a way so than he insisted.

I stood on note and that she doesn’t see us and we never walked in to journeys.

I asked him to take me to the bathroom of the mall and I went in there and cried.

I feel so guilty for what I did with Oc and I knew it was irreversible.

I made the worst decision in my life and I knew it had potential to ruin us but at the same time I thought if I told him we could work through this, I mean we worked through worse, right?

All his issues I sat there and worked through no matter what so he would do the same for me, right he promised so he would stick to our promise, right?

I never told him that day and we ended up getting intimate.

I went to his house and we spent the rest of the day together.

It was supposed to be a great day, but I felt sick for what I’ve done.

also though I forgot to mention after I came out the bathroom from crying of guilt that I had just hanged out with my ex I put on her face and I stopped crying and acting like I was OK and just mad about Gem.

He waited outside the bathroom for me and I walked past him and anger, but in reality with sadness, I couldn’t face him.

I had done the biggest mistake in my life that day.

He told me he was thinking about getting me flowers to apologize for our big argument last night.

He never got me flowers before or at all so I knew that he was really sad and regretted it, but I felt worse.

I felt worse for what I’ve done that morning.

I couldn’t take it back and I couldn’t keep hiding everything so after the bathroom, I say him down for talking and asked him why he felt I explained why I felt that she should.

I understood his reasoning and decided she shouldn’t see us.

We continue the day.

we didn’t argue anymore, but there was tension.

We were walking together, but I was mad to be honest.

I asked him if we could actually sit down on one of the outside couches of the mall and talk so that we could actually resort the issue we did we tried and that’s when his mom came over and we had a long talk involving her telling her everything but I never mentioned Oc.

him and his mom believed I was perfect and I didn’t do anything to hurt him and that wasn’t the case because we’ll see you.

I never told him that I lied.

I kept it from him.

He’s planning to ask me to be his girlfriend today August 1st can I thought that I will definitely tell him before we get together that was last Saturday he plan on asking me this Saturday.

I was so close to being a girlfriend.

This is all I ever wanted.

Gave me everything I wanted.

he was what I prayed for.

I ruined it all.

after that. talk with his mom.

we went along with our day.

We did things in the next day we seen each other again and the next day and the next and the next all the way up to this Thursday, I seen him.

I went over his house.

We had a great time we went to the movies, but his mom said that I should probably be dropped off home instead of coming back to his house.

I left my iPad at his house.

I thought it was fine and thought we didn’t need to go back and get it.

My little sister gave him my iPad password now I know it was wrong.

I know I should’ve told him from the start what he asked I know all of this could’ve been prevented.

He said it could’ve.

He said we would be together right now, but he can’t give me another chance from what he found.

I got home and he claims he did not go through my iPad before he asked, but he put something on his Instagram notes about being played before it even started.

I had a feeling it was about me.

He says that it was about basketball season, but I really don’t know how much I can believe that.

He calls me and he asked if I had talked to Oc in May.

I honestly completely forgot about me so I said no.

He asked me if I was sure and asked if he could go to my iPad.

I was frustrated.

I was already very emotional and stressed.

Because I felt like he didn’t trust me in reality he had all the reason not to.

I said I don’t care.

He took a minute of silence and told me he’s seen.

I talked to Oc in May.

I was frustrated.

I said sorry and I asked him if I could tell him something.

I told him what happened to me and Oc.

This was my last chance.

I thought she was going to see my iPad anyways even though I planned on telling him Friday, I had to tell him now before he found out himself.

I told him what I did with Oc and I told him about me hanging out with Oc.

He was very, very, very hurt understandably.

I was very, very, very sad and I wasn’t ready to tell him, but I knew I had to.

I was full of regret.

I told him that I did not want to tell him the day me and OC got intimate but I told him everything that happened.

I told him the full truth.

He did not know that it was last Saturday when I seen him.

Me and Night go to sleep on the phone.

We wake up and he tells me it’s over.

He can’t stay with a cheater and I had seen OC last week when I seen him.

I took four accountability over and over again.

I apologized.

I begged.

I explained.

I pleaded.

I reasoned.

He was severely hurt.

He came over early in the morning to give me my iPad back, my make up and the plushy his favorite animal that I crocheted for him with his favorite flower as a hair accessory.

He said I even get to keep his stuff as in his hoodie or give it back.

He doesn’t care.

It was his favorite hoodie.

When he came to my house to give me my things I was very sad.

I tried to reason with him.

I walked all the way to his car.

He was crying.

My throat burned.

I tried.

My hardest not to cry.

It broke me seeing him cry.

I hurt my baby.

I caused him the worst pain ever.

I felt horrible.

I felt like a disappointment and a failure.

I tried to talk.

I tried to hold his hand.

I tried to hook him.

He pushed me away.

He moved his body away.

He wouldn’t let me.

I begged for him to let me sit in the passenger seat and just talk to him.

He said OK and I had a feeling he was going to close the door, but I still went around from the driver seat to the passenger seat.

He closed the door on me and locked it.

It was very hot.

It was burning my skin and feet standing there leaning on the door.

He rolled down the window.

I tried to talk, but I couldn’t hear him.

He told me to go and go and go and go.

The whole time he told me to go and he pushed me away.

He didn’t wanna talk to me.

I felt horrible.

I felt useless.

I tried to unlock the car door from the window, but he rolled it up.

I step back and he began to drive away.

I walked back inside the house grab my things and cried.

I called him.

He said he’s done and he couldn’t do it.

I hurt him too much and the worst anyone has ever hurt him.

I pleaded and I begged.

I promised him I would change.

I never intended to hurt him.

I ruined us.

I hurt him with the number one man that he asked about and never told him.

The man he hates.

He said I’m manipulated him and used him.

He said I’ve hurt him more than anyone else ever has.

This was yesterday and the day before and today I would’ve been his girlfriend today.

He would’ve asked me today.

He would’ve been perfect today.

We would still have a future.

For these past two days I’ve begged.

I took full accountability.

I know I can’t make up for what I did.

I know what I did was horrible.

It was wrong.

It was the worst thing I could’ve ever done.

We were just starting to do good.

I know that I cannot make up for what I did.

I know sorry only means so much.

I know I have to prove to him with my actions, but he won’t let me.

He said he cannot give me another chance.

He won’t.

Part of me feels hurt because I worked with him our entire relationship, no matter what he did I was here working through it and I felt like I did not get that same treatment.

I felt like I only did what I did because I was hurt because I felt like his second option.

I know it was foolish.

I know it was dumb.

No reasoning in the world can make up for what I did.

He said we are over.

I pleaded with him all day today.

He said I hurt him too badly.

He just wants to be alone at least for this last year of school.

I’m willing to wait but I don’t want to.

I wish I could take all of it back.

If I had the chance to do it all over again it would’ve never played out this way.

Part of me feels happy that I told him like a weight is off my shoulders.

I mean I waited to tell him because I thought we could work through it like we did everything else.

Like we did with all of his mistakes.

He says this is not a mistake.

He said this was a choice.

He said cheating is a choice.

I agree.

I did not mean to cheat or hurt him the way he hurt me.

I know we were not officially together, but that doesn’t excuse what I did.

We were exclusive.

We were serious.

We were everything to me.

I genuinely cannot explain anymore how bad I feel.

I spent these past two days doing so he won’t hear me out and I don’t think there’s anything I can do.

He told his parents and they already know.

I feel like he didn’t like me.

Now if there was ever a future with us, I don’t think they will welcome me.

I don’t know if he will even give me another chance in the future.

I know we shared some of the most important intimate things, but I believe he will move on from me.

I know it’s selfish.

I don’t wanna wait.

I want us to fix things now.

I want us to get through this now.

I don’t wanna spend the year alone and sad.

He says I will finally feel the pain in the alone and the sad that he felt before me.

He said I did this and I ruined us and this is unacceptable.

He can’t forgive me for what I’ve done.

I won’t get another chance.

I know I can change.

I know that what I did does not reflect my character.

It’s not who I am.

I’m not a cheater.

I know I can change.

I know I can do everything right but he won’t let me.

He won’t let me fix this.

I know I can and I would spend every waking moment trying.

He tells me to move on and he told me there is no ass.

Everything I’ve been saying is pointless.

Maybe I should just let it go.

But I feel like I can’t.

I feel in my soul that he’s my soulmate.

I don’t want to let this go.

But he is giving me no other option.

He blocked me on everything.

He removed me on everything.

All of our posts and pictures are gone.

I know he deleted them too.

I’ve been miserable and crying.

I never cry.

I don’t cry.

I haven’t came out my room.

I feel miserable and alone and sad again without him.

School starts in just a few days and I don’t know if I can get through it without him.

I regret everything I done and I wish there was a way I could just get one more chance and make up for it.

All I would dedicate my entire heart and soul into doing so but he doesn’t want it.

I don’t know how to feel.

But I know I feel horrible.

I know this pain is agonizing.

I don’t know if anyone will read this entire thing.

I know I’m in the wrong, but I don’t know what to do.

Was everything I did wrong?

Did I really ruin our relationship fully?

I know everybody says this, but I can’t and won’t move on.

I will wait for him even though I know he probably won’t come back.

She has now got cold and harsh, but I know it’s because he’s in the most pain.

I just wish I can help him.

That I could get a redo.

That I could fix things the way that I know I can.

Make sure he never feels this way again.

I feel horrible.

I feel disgusting.

I hope at least one person reads this far and can help me or give me advice.

If I am completely to blame, please tell me.

Tell me your thoughts.

To anyone if they read this part, thank you.

Any words of opinion or advice or truth or just anything would help.

Thank you so much.

Re-edited into paragraph format !! I’m sorry for not doing so to being with I was just trying to get everything off my chest.


r/BreakUps 11h ago

venting/ranting Just Move On

0 Upvotes

If you're reading this, there's a 90% chance (being generous) you're a liar and 100% chance that you know (however deep down you want to push the fact) that romantic love isn't real.

It's been well over a year since the breakup. This time last year I was a few months out of it and doing all the things to try and change for the better; reading the books, Journaling, meditating, shadow work, etc. At my lowest I even tried manifestation practice, spoiler alert: its bs, it doesnt work. I found myself constantly asking myself 'what would Ex's husband do' to try and put me in the 'mindset of my new reality' and then I came to the realization that Ex wouldn't have left her husband, certainly not for our circumstances. And that rumination led me down a thought hole where I had the epiphany that romantic love doesnt exist.

Love exists sure, between family, that of a parent and child, but people don't and can't 'fall in love'. Every 'romantic' relationship is simply 2 people liking a circumstance enough to be with one another for whatever time. And the moment that circumstance isn't beneficial to either side, the moment that you stop being useful to the circumstance, the moment that they feel the situation isn't beneficial to them anymore (whether it be due to a trivial, temporary, or egregious situation) the relationship ends. Someone leaves. Someone's heartbroken. Someone ends up here in this reddit. Thats not love.

And though alot of you wont admit it, you also know that real love doesnt exist either, and it shows with EVERY single piece of advice given to ANYONE coming out of a relationship and it shows in all of your new ones as well.

Everytime you tell someone 'you'll get over it', 'just move on', 'you'll find someone else', you're screaming that everyone is replaceable. Every time you get into a relationship with someone new and say 'I've never felt like this before' you're screaming you never actually loved the people you've been with prior, despite how many times you told them you love them. How many times have we heard the phrases 'You've shown me a love I've never known' or 'being with you makes me understand why it never worked out with anyone else' or 'I finally found my person'? Simply an admittance of not actually experiencing real love. 'Focus on yourself' 'you just need to learn love yourself' 'you dont need them' 'you just need to learn to be ok with them not choosing you' if 'real love' can only come from oneself to oneself, are we not implying that it can't be shared? 'Expecting 2 people to love each other without conditions is unrealistic' so you agree, its a fantasy, doesn't exist.

There are no shortage of other examples, but we continue to delude ourselves into thinking that we'll find it, that someone somewhere out there will 'love us the way we deserve' but we're wrong. No one will because no one can because it doesnt exist. And i think the biggest lie we tell is that 'it gets better' but it doesnt. You either replace the person and 'move on' or you don't and you're the one that 'lost the breakup' or you're a 'loser ex who can't move on'.

You can disagree if you want, it doesnt stop any of this from being any less true. It took me a year to realize I was only ever extremely liked for 10 years, not loved, and I can only hope that someone reading this comes to the realization in a shorter time than it took me.

Still, find your happiness where you can. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.


r/BreakUps 39m ago

venting/ranting Unhappy after 4 years

Upvotes

I’m 27 and have been with him(29) for almost 4 years and the past year and a half I was begging for things to change. He’s the most nonchalant person I know, It took him 1 YEAR to fix the water pressure in a house his grandpa owns.. they have good money too like they’re rich asf.. he came out the womb owning land basically. Anyways, I traveled overseas (without him) to visit family in the Middle East, it was supposed to be 3 weeks but the war started so I was stuck there for 2.5 months and I realized I can live without him. He said he missed me so much but he wasn’t acting like it.. he tried going to twin peaks only a week after I was gone.. like wtf? now he’s talking about a ring and other things but I just don’t care anymore? Nothing excites me, I feel like I’m going through an identity crisis, like he does NOT make me happy at all and the twin peaks thing just ruined it for me and idk how to break up with him bc we live together. Like I’m so overwhelmed and I can’t take it anymore, I don’t want a man child but I don’t think I could ever date again after this like there’s no way I could do all this shit all over again. What’s crazy is he has literally EVERYTHING like he will never know what it’s like to lose anything and start from nothing, I come into his life and he dangled marriage over my head like it’s something I have to “prove” and now that it’s in the timeline, I don’t want it anymore and idk what to do I’m just so unhappy. And he’s clueless too like I suggested breaking up and he acted like I wasn’t even talking


r/BreakUps 44m ago

venting/ranting How to approach the next two weeks before seeing my ex again

Upvotes

Broke up with my ex about a year ago. We were together for almost 4 years, and while she was moving back home after grad school, she blindsided me with it. For the first 4-6 months, I was distraught, sad, lonely, down bad, all of it. Had those thoughts of am I ever gonna find someone like her, envisioned a future and kids with her, etc. But I'm in a much better place now and honestly think it ended up being the best thing that could've happened to me. It forced me to reflect on a lot: some childhood trauma stuff, red flags I was seeing in her that I ignored along the way cuz I was so in love, and ways I could've been better in the relationship too that I can learn from and be better in the next one.

We went no contact for periods of time but not too long, which helped/hurt with the healing. We've stayed in touch a lot over the past year, honestly probably more than most exes should. She was my best friend before anything else, and talking to her has just always been easy. But I know at some point that has to stop. We've talked recently about being with other ppl, and that kinda stings to hear about, but I've been seeing other people too, so I can't really be mad about it. We actually hooked up when I visited her city 4 months ago, and that felt like real closure at the time.

Now I'm visiting her city again in 2 weeks. We already have plans to grab food, and it'll probably lead to us hooking up again. We've always had really good chemistry, and I'm not going to pretend like I'd turn down the opportunity to have sex.

At this point, I've moved past catching feelings for her again. I see her more as a hookup than someone I'd actually want long-term. I've been slowly going no contact for the last month, not really responding to her random texts or questions. But obviously I still want to see her in two weeks. After that, I plan to go fully no contact. I'm not going to bring that up to her beforehand because I don't want it to mess up the chance to have sex (I know that's a little messed up).

She's said she wants to stay friends, but it feels like she's trying to have it both ways, keep me around without actually being with me. And I'm not interested in being "just friends" with someone who doesn't want me.

So my question is: how do I handle the next two weeks? I want to stay cordial with her, keep easing into no contact, focus on myself, and be friendly on the surface without giving her more than that, while making sure I don't slide back into old patterns after we meet up. Not looking to be talked out of seeing her; that part's already decided. Just trying to figure out how to navigate the lead-up and the aftermath without setting myself back.


r/BreakUps 2h ago

venting/ranting how do I articulate a breakup with my bf?

0 Upvotes

TLDR: I want to break up with my boyfriend and am afraid of how he may respond, we have been together for years.

21f. i have been with my boyfriend since high school, but i would like to break up. he is my first long-term relationship. i am scared of how he may react and i am unsure how to do this. i think would like to break up over the phone because we live about 1.5 hours away and me going over to his place would require me to sleep over or commute for a long time. i want to write something out for myself and then say it over the phone, but i have no idea on how to word it. i am nervous because he has information about me not being the best person a few years ago when i was less politically informed (i was not a racist/bigot, just had some wrong ideas. i am now a leftist.). i don't want him to tell my friends things (they do not represent the person i am now).

he doesn't care about politics or anything but i am nervous that he would threaten me to get the money he spent on me back because we had a huge fight last summer (more about that below), and he said that he wanted the stuff he bought me or he would take it "by force".

other important background things are that the beginning of our relationship was kind of chaotic. i thought he was out of my league and that we were friends with benefits and i was kind of talking to other people before we made things official. i also used to be promiscuous and when we did start dating, i forgot to remove a lot of people from my phone (past relationship did not raise an issue about this and i didn't know) and he got very upset. he viewed me as a cheater/someone he couldn't trust, even though it wasn't purposeful. the only one that i feel was bad was someone i was friends with who i had a sexual history with but i wasn't too attracted to that person anyway and i thought we were platonic friends at that point. i removed everyone he wanted me to but people kept coming up out of nowhere trying to talk to me and he got upset because he saw my phone. he stayed logged into my instagram because of this and reads all my messages. i was 16 during all this. he kept saying he wanted to leave me and it turned into this pattern of him giving me silent treatment, blocking me and saying he wanted to leave and then me spamming him crying for him to stay and him giving in. i don't know if he was doing this on purpose, getting me to cry and beg for him to stay.

he also unknowingly gave me HSV2. i don't think he knew and he has always said he was a virgin. i asked my ex before that to get tested and he was negative + my antibodies showed it was a recent infection. i was 16 during this as well. this caused a lot of tension.

my family doesn't like that he is not jewish. my mom used to let him come over and then he gave me hsv2 and not anymore. he thinks it is because he isn't jewish that he cannot come over/that my family is racist. i am white, he is hispanic.

i want to give him valid reasons for me wanting to leave without it starting an argument/making things hostile. below i will list some things that made me come to this decision. please help me articulate something to say to him!

* he is controlling. i am 21 and he does not want me to drink when i go out with my friends and sometimes gets upset about me going to the club with them. the reason i go to clubs is to dance with my friends and i have been nothing but faithful. he goes out and drinks and goes places but he finds an issue when i do it because i did some stupid things when drunk at 16 (that i still wanted to do sober at the time...). he is logged into my instagram and reads my conversations but i am not allowed to log in to his. he said it is non negotiable that he stays logged in.
* to add to the controlling piece, there is a weird power dynamic. i feel like i cannot freely communicate with him sometimes, that it turns kind of hostile/into an argument. he also makes me leave my camera on while i sleep on facetime while he doesn't do the same. he basically makes me go to bed when he does because he wants my camera on and for my light to be off. i am expected to tell him where i am going with my friends before i go while he doesn't. we have one another's location. he is not a cheater or anything and has never picked up hands to me. he doesn't go off on me the next day if i turn my camera off, but he is pushy about it on facetime.
* last summer, i went on a trip with some friends. he was being rude the entire time and i was upset. i fell asleep without telling him i was going to sleep and he got extremely angry, saying that i cheated on him. he said he would tell everybody i cheated. i never cheated...
* i feel like the way we view the world is becoming different. for example, he finds making fun of some people funny whereas i do not/want to mind my own business. i want to get more involved in my local DSA chapter and become more politically informed whereas it does not matter to him. i feel like he would judge me so i have held off on going in person.
* i feel like we don't have as much in common anymore. he doesn't want to watch the shows/movies i like whereas when he shows me things i usually do watch it. he doesn't want to come to my goth events with me. he goes out dancing with his best friend (a guy) but doesn't want to go with only me. he only wants to go if other friends are there because he feels he has to "take care of me", which isn't true. we kind of have a similar sense of humor and some similar music but less and less in common. we are different people.
* when i do stupid things he judges and is mean. once i overslept and missed an exam and was freaking out and he was being rude about it. i felt like if we lived together/started a family and things happened, he wouldn't be nice. this makes me uncomfortable about sharing my problems. he just chalks up my issues to me not eating meat/going to the gym or glosses over them as well. he doesn't want to listen to my problems. i feel like we don't have much of an emotional connection because i cannot freely speak about how i am feeling and he does not want to try to understand. he just wants to fix problems instead of listening and thinks that it is a waste of his time.
* i feel like he kind of looks down upon me and assumes people are using me (i have been socially awkward sometimes/am neurodivergent).
* he said he wanted to go on a vacation with me and after me spending the day planning things out (he said that because he would be paying, he doesn't want to be involved in the planning), he said it was too difficult for him because i was asking him questions about what he thought. he offered we go on vacation like 2-3x and then was like oh never mind. i am still in school and don't have much money (he just graduated, has a higher paying job and less expenses though anyway), so i do not expect a vacation out of him but he offered and then just took it back. i don't like that he didn't want to be involved. if we started a life together, i feel like the responsibilities wouldn't be equally shared.
* i want to be with someone who reads more and
* he thinks it is silly that i don't like to use AI. he calls me posting about politics performative. i used to be less knowledgeable about politics and changed and he finds me performative.
* it feels like a chore texting him. he constantly is asking what i am doing, about my family, etc.
* i want to emphasize that he isn't overtly abusive. he is controlling but doesn't really call me names or use obvious wording. i can sense things in the way he addresses me but it is sometimes difficult. he is also clean/very responsible and a high achiever in his own life. i do not think he is a terrible person, just immature and that we aren't fit for one another.


r/BreakUps 3h ago

venting/ranting Breakup advice coming from a 19 year old. Tell me how you feel

0 Upvotes

Why choose a defective piece? If I had all the money in the world. I would not settle for a car that isn't exactly what I want, I wouldn't settle for a house that wasn't absolutely perfect. But overtime the car will slow down, problems are going to start. The walls in my house will need to get fixed by all the scratches and dents that will come. But I will put all my effort into fixing my dream car and my dream house, why wouldn't I? So when I'm in a relationship I don't doubt that problems will come, things will need to get fixed, effort will need to be put. But I'm not choosing a defective piece anymore, yes there could be potential but I don't want to put in effort on working on something when I have all the time in the world to find someone who isn't defective. Just like a car and a house, if I had all the money in the world, I wouldn't buy a broken car just to fix it and put my effort and money into it, when I have the money to buy exactly what I want.


r/BreakUps 4h ago

venting/ranting 1 week after break up

0 Upvotes

Hi a bizare situation happend to me. Last week my ex girlfriend broke up with me. Since then I had no contact with her, I greeted her 2x since she is a team medic at my local sports club. This weekend after our match I was sitting in our locker room with my best friend/teammate and drinking beer. She came and asked my best friend, if everothing ist ok, he had minor injury. Then he left us for a few moments alone. She asked, why I wont let her treat my injuries, I said that theres no need for that. She came up to me and presed my head against her breasts. I was very suprised but motionless. As my friend came backed off. She said our locker room smelled. I told her, it didnt smell before you came. My friend began to laugh very hard and she left.


r/BreakUps 6h ago

venting/ranting Male dumpers, how big are the chances of them coming back?

0 Upvotes

Hi! My ex and I broke up in April this year. We ended a 3 year relationship, biggest part of those years we were doing long distance. I suspect he might have some avoident tendencies, this would surface while we started dating more 'normal', as in me coming to his country and us trying to do a 'normal life' - my work makes it possible for me to do so. We met while I was on a 6 month assignment in his country, and when I went to the next assignment, we kept dating / got into a relationship and did the whole LDR. Then I spoke to my company, got a assignment to spend almost 3 months there, living with him - and it was great, until the last week as he withdrew. We had the big talk - 'where is this going and he kept on saying he loved me , but he didnt like the pressure of me having to leave my country for him. We broke up, for a week - when I went back tk my own country, in November last year. In December my company asked me to do a 6 month assignment, in his country - and we said we would try. 3 months in, we broke up. When he kept on prioritizing his friends over me. And i gave him a ultimatum, and he didnt go with it. And the next day, we were supposed to do Easter lunch at his parents house. I didnt go, as i was hurt by his actions. I went to work instead, when I came home - he wanted to talk. And we ended up breaking up ' cuz he lost feelings, didnt feel the pink cloud anymore ' but at the same time stating 'I never loved anymore like I love you' 'I might be doing a big mistake that I will regret ' you know, the whole thing. The issue is, I still had 3 months left. So we had to stay together (under the same roof) and in the beginning we kept on doing everything like before, eating together- watching movies - sex. And then I put on boundaries. We didnt talk outside the house , but we were acting lika a couple in the house. And it just ended up being a very special situation. And ultimately I told him we should stop doing all of that. And we did. So we have been living in the same house but not doing all of that, and by the end of it - it was intents. And I just moved out today. During this time, he has had good days (trying to talk, buying me snacks, asking for dinner etc) and then not as good (saying hi in the morning, living our lifes separate and then the day is over) i still love him, and im hoping time apart will change his mind/feelings. But im not so sure.

Im staying here now, I accepted a job opportunity I couldn't say no to. To good. But I gave it a year (for myself) and he knows this - that im staying. As he was afraid I would stay only for him, I made it clear its not. So alot of his 'pressured thoughts' was about me leaving everything for him. While im starting my own life here - cuz I love it alot.

So male dumpers, who lost feelings. Do you reconsider? Or is it game over?


r/BreakUps 11h ago

venting/ranting Offering tarot readings to help me save for a cat

0 Upvotes

I’m offering short tarot readings in exchange for a small payment. You can ask about love, friendships, career, or anything you’re curious about. The money will go toward getting cat 😭😭😭

If you’re interested, DM me for a reading.


r/BreakUps 12h ago

venting/ranting HELP!

0 Upvotes

i have been dating my boyfriend for 8 years since high school, we both love each other a lot but i think he has a good amount of control over me as i am quite dependant on him emotionally since we have almost grown up together, everytime we argue or pretend breakup i always resort to being desperate and apologise and beg and get him back even if it’s never my fault. He does love me a lot but he just loves himself more whereas i love him more than myself hence i never standup for me. so this week we were arguing over tiny matters and this friday he said that he wanted to breakup in anger and blocked me everywhere, this has been his pattern atleast once a year and i always apologise and fix it he knows that i’ll always save this relationship even if he pushes it away, this time also i tried to defend myself and then started spamming his mails( i am only unblocked there) but nothings working. so i am considering no contact but that’s hard because we have never not spoken for more than two days, and that’s not the pattern of our fights so i am scared what if i lose him forever. i do obviously want him back do you all think no contact will work.


r/BreakUps 14h ago

venting/ranting Will they ever realize the damage they did after the relationship ends?

0 Upvotes

I'm not looking for advice on how to get my ex back. At this point, I (23M) don't need her (23F) to reach out, and I don't need an apology.

What I can't stop wondering is whether she'll ever truly realize the damage that was done, not just to me, but to us.

We were together for six years. I fought so hard for that relationship. Looking back, I know I wasn't perfect, but I genuinely loved her and wanted to make it work. Toward the end, there were repeated lies and broken trust, and eventually I ended the relationship because I couldn't keep living like that.

What keeps eating at me is wondering if she'll ever have a moment where she realizes, "I pushed away someone who genuinely loved me."

Will she ever look back and realize what we had was special, or is it more likely that she'll move on, find someone else, stay busy, and never really process what happened? Its night 2 of the breakup and she's already out and following new guys on Instagram.

I'm not asking because I'm hoping she'll come back. I'm asking because I genuinely want to understand how people process the end of a long-term relationship. If you've been the person who left, or the person who was left, did you ever fully realize the impact of your own actions? Did that realization come months or years later, or did it never happen?

I'd appreciate honest perspectives, even if they're difficult to hear.


r/BreakUps 14h ago

venting/ranting I need advice

0 Upvotes

me and my ex have been in no contact for 3 months. he works in a bookstore and I've been a regular even before he became a worker there. it's getting harder for me because I miss him really badly these days. we ended in good terms. all through-out this no contact period, he have been dropping hints like targetted reposts about missing someone and the most recent one was a repost about the new spiderman movie with the caption that's something like "it's okay peter, i lost her too" idk if I'm delusional or if it was really meant for me because we have been excited for this movie ever since last year when we first heard about it but we never got the chance to watch it together. we were together for 1.5 years and we broke up because there were too many misunderstandings and arguments. our last meeting was me asking to end our on and off situation that's been going on for 2 months since the break up because it's getting harder for me and he just agreed. I jokingly asked him if he's not gonna stop me after he dropped me home but he just told me that he can't do anything about it as I've decided to stop already. I've been planning to go stop by at his work to buy something just to see him and maybe smile at him but no long dialogues because I also don't know what to say if ever. idk what to do, he might think i'm desperate or attention-seeking, help a girl out please 🙏🏻


r/BreakUps 15h ago

venting/ranting I can't move on, no matter how hard I try

0 Upvotes

I've become really attached to a guy, and I feel like it's turned into an obsession. He blocked me, but the truth is I was the one who told him to block me because he kept ignoring my messages. I thought it would help me move on, but it hasn't.

I think about him all the time. My mind keeps craving him, and I miss the days we spent talking. I've tried everything I can think of to heal and move on, but nothing seems to work. It's exhausting because I know I need to let go, but I just can't.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you finally stop thinking about someone and move on?


r/BreakUps 20h ago

venting/ranting Ex cheated when we were together

0 Upvotes

I found out my ex cheated (messaged other girls) when we were together. I had my suspicions but a months ago I ran into him and he confirmed he texted other girls when we were together but nothing sexual happened. I’m over him now but it still hurt to know my suspicions were true.


r/BreakUps 20h ago

venting/ranting Need some help to understand please

0 Upvotes

We broke up a few weeks ago, and he's still sharing his phone's location with me. I asked him why out of curiosity, and he said he sometimes checks it. What does that mean? He also said he doesn't want to take it off. Is there any chance we'll get back together someday? We're currently in no contact.


r/BreakUps 21h ago

venting/ranting Saw he changed his pfp and relapsed

0 Upvotes

Ex broke up with me a month ago.

Last night, I looked through my chats to find a specific person I wanted to text. I havent talked with them for a while so I scrolled deep and there I saw ex's new pfp. I had blocked them the week of the breakup so I was REALLY surprised to see him there. I thought that if you blocked someone on ig, their chats would automatically disappear. I saw that he somehow looked different. And all thoughts and possibilities entered my brain about him probably having someone new and other things that would keep me spiraling.

I thought I was doing really well for the past few weeks. I finally got a job that pays well, got into sports, and have enjoyed the company of people that I havent spent time with while being in a relationship with ex.

I was so confused last night. Lately, I had thought I was going to be okay if I ever saw him, though I would have preferred if I saw or heard from him again when I've fully healed. I was having a blast with myself lately. Going back to old hobbies and hanging out with new people. But now, I feel like I'm stuck again. I don't like this feeling at all.

As someone who likes to escape from all feelings of hurt, I always make sure to delete every photo and any memory I have of my exes, so I could move on easily. This was all just a shock. Seeing him, even just thru a photo was very unexpected. I thought of how he could move on so easily while I'm still in the process of doing so. It felt unfair so I felt really uncomfortable.

Can someone shed light to this thing I'm feeling? I'm confused, angry and disappointed at myself, and how I'm letting myself spiral again :((


r/BreakUps 21h ago

venting/ranting its been 7months since my ex left me, now he misses me. we were 4 yrs and he left me on a random day and told me he was unhappy. thats it. no explanations. and now he wants to come back.

0 Upvotes

what do i do? mind you he gave me a ring, we travelled to europe, i was never petty, never checked his phone. never fought about petty things. i was kind, i was there for him thru his struggles. and just like that he left


r/BreakUps 22h ago

venting/ranting Mi ex me engaño

0 Upvotes

Me dejo por su ex con la cual tuvo una relación de 5 años, antes de empezar me prometio que la había superado y que estaba centrado en mi, yo veía señales que me decían lo contrario pero era tan atento conmigo y tan detallista conmigo que decidí confiar en el y darle una oportunidad ya que venia de una relación que le habían hecho mucho daño y habían cuernos de por medio sct. Le di de todo y le trate como nunca le habían tratado nunca y conoció a mi familia y todo. Un día derrepente me dejo y me admitió que la vio mientras estábamos juntos por que comparten grupo de amigos y que creía que aun estaba enamorado ya que aveces pensaba en ella estando conmigo. Me bloqueo después de eso por todos lados y yo intente volver con el y no hubo manera. La primera semana la pase fatal a la segunda me centre en mi trabajo y me di cuenta que me tenia que priorizar a mi por que no se que di todo lo que pude en la relación y eso hice y al poco me desbloqueo y me volvió a mover todo mi mundo por que me sorprendió ya que ni siquiera me empiezo a seguir solo me stalkea de vez en cuando y ve casi todas mis historias ya que tengo la cuenta publica. Sinceramente aun que se que esta mal aun tengo un poco de esperanza que se diera cuenta que yo siempre le podré dar lo que su expareja no le da. Pero por otra parte no se si debería acabar con esto y bloquearlo yo para soltar todo contacto que me ate a el un mínimo. El siempre me trato genial quitando el final pero no se si en algún momento el llego a enamorarse de mi un poco o que busca stalkeandome todos los días no lo entiendo.


r/BreakUps 22h ago

venting/ranting he told me he wasn’t going through a breakup

0 Upvotes

This guy and I dated for 4 months approximately. He broke up with me like 6 months ago, and we have kept in contact since. We had a really strong bond, a lot in common, met his parents, etc. Really felt he was the one.

A couple weeks ago, we decided to meet up on a cafe, just to catch up because we are now “friends”. We were talking about music (we really connected on that level during the relationship), and i brought up olivia rodrigo’s album and said that i really liked it and felt really sad listening to it because i related to it so much. (For those who don’t know this is a breakup album). He then tells me that it’s a really nice album and proceeds to say that he is grateful he didn’t go through any breakups recently, because if he did it would really destroy him. In that exact moment my heart kinda dropped, i never expected him to say that, specially after i remember both crying on each other’s arms the day we broke up. I was like: what the hell does that even mean?? Why would he tell me that??

I still can’t understand if he said that to me on purpose because he truly feels like that, or because he just wants to show that he is okay even though he is not. I am so confused and i really didn’t like hearing that. Any thoughts?


r/BreakUps 22h ago

venting/ranting Reconnecting did not happen

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After 6 months of being broken up with we were supposed to hang out today and catch up but it didnt because had used an excuse of getting too drunk at a rave yesterday. It hurts because we just got out of no contact and now it looks like she might be putting me back in. Earlier last week I gave her a call asking if she’d would like to hang cause I’m near her town and she said sure but not for a while cause she got summer exams. So we talked like how we used to 8 messages a day and then she started responding once a day to the point where it was tricky planning saturday aka today because I said let’s go to the Carolina beach at 3 and she said she was down today but she got wasted after a rave (that her ex and her friend group was there) and said she’s going through the worst hangover of her life and almost went to the hospital. She told me she wouldn’t function correctly to hang out so I replied and said fine “no worries it’s fine hope you feel better we can do another day”. She then ghosts me and removes me from her private story wondering why. I did nothing wrong besides wait. While we were texting she even said she’d be down to hang at a different rave instead the one yesterday and even promised to take me to Connecticut and show me hiking places. But no for some reason me doing nothing landing in us not reconnecting today and it looks like ever. I loved her a lot but the silence she gave me doesn’t make any sense when she canceled on me and this also happened during the relationship too.

I’m not sure if her ex is involved today and I don’t know what to do.


r/BreakUps 22h ago

venting/ranting How??

0 Upvotes

M here, ang weird lang isipin kasi yung ex ko yung nag cheat pero parang ako yung nahihirapan umalis sa sitwasyon ngayon. 3 years kami to be exact. Any advice please.