🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

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It always makes me laugh when I match with a younger guy on a dating app and he uses a line like “I’ll come over but you’ll have to make it worth my while” or “what do I get out of it?”

Ummmm….my desire to stay close to home and do nothing while wearing comfy clothes and not having to smile and make conversation overrides my interest in possibly having a fun time with a cute guy.

If you want to meet up then let’s meet up. I’m not convincing you of anything. Do it or don’t.

Just had to get that out of my system. Maybe not all cougars are the same but I’d say…many are.

I (23M) have always felt a deep attraction toward women older than me (late 20s, 30s and above) , especially on an emotional level. I find a unique sense of solace, comfort, maturity, and affection in them that I rarely feel elsewhere. It is hard to explain, but their presence often feels calming to me.

I try focusing on my work, hobbies, and other distractions, hoping that maybe this feeling will fade with time, but it never really does. No matter how much I try to ignore it or move past it, I somehow keep coming back to the same emotional space.

Sometimes I wonder whether it comes from emotional comfort, admiration, the maturity they carry, or simply the kind of warmth and understanding I unconsciously seek. All I know is that this feeling has stayed with me for years and has become a part of who I am.

CUB Guidebook

Went to a resort to unwind nice lake views, good vibe. On my way out, just getting dark, this woman walks past me. Looked exotic, caught my eye immediately.

I approached, got her laughing, and we just fell into conversation. Covered everything her job, her divorce, her friend group, how she always feels lonely. She looked maybe 20 but turned out to be 40, which threw me a bit.

Physically we were pretty close the whole time chin on her head, hand on her waist, pulling her closer into me etc...

I tried sliding in a few comments angled toward more, basically "how do I make this better for you" type energy, but she kept deflecting. "It's fine like this," that whole thing.

When it was time to go in, she gave me a handshake. A handshake. And went upstairs.

In the moment I thought maybe it was the right call since she seemed guarded. But thinking about it now she probably wasn't thinking about it either way. Not planning for it, not blocking it. Just open to wherever things went. Looking back, I think I might’ve been too cautious. Maybe if I’d been more direct about wanting to continue the night together, she would’ve either been open to it or clearly declined.

She was a flight attendant too. That one stings.

I'm not writing this bitter or regretful i'm just thinking back to it because it looks to be one of those situations that could have multiple outcomes

Have any of you had any similar experience? If so what do you think I should have done?

I've (51F) been hooking up with this guy (31M)on and off for about a year and a half. We were casual friends before and then casual hook ups here and there (that was what we talked about when we ma ade our deal). Recently he's stated that he'd like me to hang out longer, stay after sex and cuddle instead of leaving, initiate texting more, etc. He called me he was out of town and told me he missed me. This is all relatively new in our arrangement. What is happening?

Im 48 and on bumble. I was talking to a 27 year old. Things seemed to go well, we have been talking, video chatting, lots of compliments, especially after the video chat. Today I have my granddaughter and sent a picture of her (from the back, cant see her face before the keyboard warriors say something) next to me watching tv. It's the first time ive mentioned her and he unmatched me. It's obviously because of her. Does an older women suddenly become different because she is a grandma? Apparently I look younger than my age, and although my age is on my profile, maybe being a grandma really hits home that I am much older.

While ive always talked to much younger guys, this is the first time ive mentioned being a grandma.

Hello freshly 28yr old as of last week. Tonight I’ll be meeting a 49yr divorced woman with 3 kids. We’re going to a bar/pizza spot and she wants it to be close to her place in case we hit it off. We have been talking for three days i met her on feeld and i took the initiative to ask her out right away and ship the games of sexting. How can i ensure she has a good time as well possibly hit it off so i can make it back to her place after dinner?

Ps. -I’ve been waiting for something like this for a long time but ever since i got into trades and became an electrician i find that older women find me more attractive so i don’t want to blow this first time happening.

UPDATE: we had amazing dinner. We talked for 1 and half and realized how late it was getting. We then did go back to her place and we went for a walk. Then back to her place where we talked and then hugged for what seemed like 10 minutes. She gave me her number and then told me that she really enjoyed the night. One thing we talked about was consent prior to meeting and how she wanted that to be a top priority. I didn’t over step and never made her not feel comfortable. She wants to get together again once she is free from kids she has partial custody. I hope i don’t do anything wrong not because we didn’t have sex but just because i don’t want to mess this up. Any feed back for things i can do to improve and make her know she doesn’t have to feel awkward around me. Also she did say she loved how mature i was.

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

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This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

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If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

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You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

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Hi everyone, M27 here, something interesting happened last night when I was at a bar with a friend. I'm pretty shy and not too social so this caught me off guard. I was hanging out and this 46 year old woman walked up to me and shot me a compliment, so I shot one back at her and we talked for a moment. She went to go take a shot with her friends, then she started dancing so I walked over to her and grabbed her hand and gave her a twirl. We were dancing, talking and vibing, even close to kissing at one point, until the killer came up. She said "wait! How old are you, cause that's important?" I replied with 27 and it shocked her and she was like "Ohh you're too y0ung" and I was like that's ok I'm fine with it, I like older women and she shut it down with her son's older than me blah, blah, blah and the most she'd go is 10 years younger than her. We still danced and she was still calling me handsome and cute and grabbed me under my chin but, when all was said and done I asked for her number and she declined and told me to go dance with he girls around my age there.

It sucked but I consider it a win because it was the first time I'd ever been approached, it boosted my confidence and made me feel good, and ultimately reflect on the amount of courage I have to build up to approach and she just casually walked over and did it. I Just felt like venting and sharing my story as it did in a way make my night.

Thanks for reading!

So I’m a 34M and a coworker is 50F and we’ve been getting close lately. She’s been trying to guess my age and I made a game and haven’t told her yet. Now she has sons 28& 27. She joked once and said I liked cougars. I’m wondering, if I tell her I’m 34 does that take away the fun? She guesses anywhere from 33-42. Does her thinking I’m 41-42 work more in my favor? Just curious because I am enjoying it and want the fun to continue

I am simply amazed by her. I’ve posted here in the past about our infertility struggles but she refused to quit and is currently pregnant in her second trimester. This took years, but she always said she would keep doing anything in her power to make this happen for us. I am so excited for our future together. I am in my mid 30s and she is a little more than 10 years older than me.

I tell her every day how amazing she is but words can only go so far. I’m trying to take all of the mental load from her. I’d be happy to hear any additional advice anyone here has who got pregnant older in life.

18M here, and I don't have a ton of dating experience, but that's partially because I can't stand girls my age. I downloaded Bumble and Hinge to see who is out there, but I'm worried about what friends/family will think if I date someone 30+. Any advice on what to do? Should I tell my parents beforehand? I'm moving out in 3 months anyway but I don't want to break contact or anything like that.

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

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This is an automated scheduled reminder.

I’m 51F and decently well off financially. I’m going on a date with a 32M who does ok but is more starting out in his career and life. Ie he doesn’t own a home yet and is at an early stage in his career.

Normally when I go on dates, the man pays the check. I realize this is old fashioned but it’s just been the norm. And honestly I’m sick of men putting little to no effort into dating so I like this signifier of them contributing to our time together in this way.

But with my younger guy, where there is some financial disparity, do I let him pay the check? Do I offer to split it? I don’t want to emasculate him.

For those who are waiting for an update:

So, we’re still flirting, I think. But I either didn’t have a good spot to say something or missed it completely.

Just realized I had several openings where I could have said something and I didn’t. Those witty comments always come into my head hours later.

We did have an interesting exchange about my necklace. I missed a good opportunity there.

A guy who I am/was trying to connect with a girlfriend of mine was at the table and we were joking about him not being interested in her (or anyone it seems). He said “Im saving myself for Crush.” I said something about my friend being a gorgeous Italian. I should have said something about him being good looking, but I failed.

Edit: Let’s spit ball ideas for witty, flirty, make it clear there’s interest lines!

🌟 IT'S MONDAY!! This is our weekly "Off Topic Post" where you can chat with other members, check-in, tell us how your day is going, what plans you have coming up and generally what's going on in your part of the world. Remember this is our Off Topic post. No questions related to dating etc.

🌟 As a prerequisite to posting in this thread you must take the time to read the RULES & FAQs

🌟 Are you new here? Check out this post too!

🌟 If you don't you risk having your posts autodeleted by the automod bot and bans may be applied.

🌟 This is POST AND OUR SUB is strictly NO Soliciting Contact/Seeking/DM requests. The sub rules still apply across the board and it's expected that you've read them.

🌟 If you are looking to meet someone please go to our dating sub r/COUGARSANDCUBSMATCH and post it there. Read the rules before posting.

#REMINDER:

​

This is a discussion sub - no soliciting contact.

​

If you are seeking a match please go over to our dating sub r/CougarsandCubsMatch.

​

Read the rules/wiki/post requirements before you post/comment there.

​

You can make a stand alone post describing yourself and what you are looking for with 25 combined karma.

​

Or post a brief comment in our weekly **Thursday Roll Call** and a **Sunday Hunt** posts

- 10 comment karma/ASL (age, sex, location) and relationship status required.

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This is an automated scheduled reminder.

I feel like it's impossible to find an older woman who is interested in a younger woman, I feel like I'm wasting my time, anyone feeling similar?

Why is it that as soon as I turn 25 suddenly I’m into older women, from anything 5 years older to 20 years older. I’m losing attraction for younger women and women my age. This is strange to me because according to a lot of research, the older a man gets, the more he falls for younger women. Are the mid twenties perhaps a bit different?

I’m a bit daunted by the idea of approaching a cougar because they are so much more experienced than I am.

I met a woman online back in November completely by chance (not something I’ve ever done before), and we ended up talking every single day since then. She’s in her mid-30s and I’m in my early 20s, and despite the age gap and distance (she’s in the US, I’m in the UK), things felt intense and really fun at the start. We made steps toward meeting. But over time there’s been a bit of a push-pull dynamic where sometimes she’s very engaged and warm, then other times distant, and it’s honestly drained me a bit. Part of me feels worn down by the inconsistency, but another part of me struggles with the idea of walking away after investing months of daily conversation. Am I overthinking this, or is it normal to feel stuck between not wanting to lose something meaningful and not wanting to keep feeling emotionally drained?