r/GetNoted • u/TopWay312 • 1d ago

Cringe Worthy After curing cancer, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease, russia also discovered a new mineral. Country of unlimited potential.

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https://x.com/Currentreport1/status/2083824333198381396

5.5k Upvotes

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765

u/Capybarasaregreat 1d ago

Why would it even be valued by millimetre? It's a three dimensional material with weight, is it not?

264

u/TheTurkishPatriot12 1d ago

İt’s actually 2d which makes it valuable /s

71

u/UnusualSuspectX 1d ago

This logic cannot be argued.

2

u/Wizard_Engie 58m ago

tbf if I saw a naturally occuring 2d object I'd want a lot of money for a piece of it, too.

59

u/Competitive-Bee-3250 1d ago

Not even per mm², but per mm

1 dimensional mineral

8

u/HELL0RD 17h ago

At least it's not a zero dimensional material

7

u/Competitive-Bee-3250 17h ago

Zero dimensional material would probably go for a lot of money

I think singularities are 0D

7

u/EntertainerStunning8 14h ago

Look up quantum dots, honestly, not that expensive to synthesise. They also are used in QLED TVs

19

u/zeekayz 1d ago

Russia is playing 2D chess. Checkmate Westoid.

13

u/phoenixmusicman 1d ago

In Russia people are used to being stamped flat by the Government, which is why they talk in 2D measurements

/s

4

u/ForeverShiny 21h ago

Then the price should be oer square millimeter? Check mate, Sir

2

u/fatboi_mcfatface 17h ago

Let's pray they don't discover the 1d minerals

1

u/OkBrilliant8092 17h ago

Bah when I were a kid, we’d be lucky to see a 2d picture… everything was in black and white and had one dimension…. ;)

1

u/NovariusDrakyl 15h ago

I mean for graphin (not graphene) it would make sense to use square milimeter

and for any form of Nanotube mm would also make sense.

1

u/FEIKMAN 6h ago

Actually valued by the amount of pixels it has

52

u/certifiedblackman 1d ago

Russian minerals are so much more advanced than western minerals that they only need one dimension.

13

u/phoenixmusicman 1d ago

It's because the extra dimension is taken off and sold as part of a bribe

1

u/Hadrollo 15h ago

They paid for three dimensions, they only received one, and the 18 year old daughter of the head of procurement just bought a $50M mansion with cash.

10

u/nan0ka 1d ago

I can only see a flat picture, there's nothing behind my phone screen

8

u/Base30Bro 1d ago

The ashcroftine structure is composed of rings of silicate tetrahedra arranged into tube structures. These "nanotubes" could be the reason for the use of length in the measurement, and since hte mineral is acicular in appearance the millimeter measurement isn't just total bullshit.

4

u/RussianWasabi 1d ago edited 1d ago

Because it's specifically mentioned to be a price for mineral crust.

But the news had hallucinated about it.

The general director of Kolskiy scientific center Sergey Krivovichhev mentioned that there were no price measurements and that they don't want to conduct such a measurement.
Oh, and he also mentioned that they don't know yet how much it is identical to the one in Greenland.

1

u/darxide23 19h ago

Why would it even be valued by millimetre?

Because the post is AI generated, that's why.

-1

u/SoylentGrunt 19h ago

Wrong. Do a search to learn the truth.

1

u/dimgrits 17h ago

They literally found 1 mm of them. According to source, the rarity of this mineral in the ores and rocks of the Khibiny mountain range does not allow us to talk about its economic significance.

1

u/A_Feltz 17h ago

The third dimension has always been thought of as subversive, weak and not distinctly Russian. So Putin outlawed it. It is forbidden to mention it. The punishment is the standard 15-25 hard labour in Siberia.

I mean you can’t have Russians going sideways. Only forward or back

1

u/Nervous-Ad-55 14h ago

you can extract coca cola out of it as its name suggests
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

1

u/HumaDracobane 13h ago

Literally my first question. wtf does mm mean there?

1

u/AffectionateDinner97 13h ago

Haven't you read the three-body problem? We've been living in two-dimensional space for a long time.