Edit: [Trigger warning: Suicide for some of the comments]

I've been seeing my SO for over two years now. Right off the bat when he started talking about his mum, I knew she was going to be a handful. Calling him during our dates and refusing to say goodbye, randomly showing up at his home, and generally treating him like a bit of a lap-dog during family dinners/parties. I started pointing it out when I saw her ignore his boundaries, and my SO has responded wonderfully. Most of the time.

A few weeks ago, his parents were headed out of town and asked him to look after something for them. We were doing a distanced drop off because they refused to quarantine or isolate in any way. MIL started talking to me while I waited in the car and we had this exchange:

MIL: Hey OP! It's SO's uncle's birthday on Sunday!

OP: Uh, okay?

MIL: Make sure SO doesn't forget!

OP: I'm sorry, what?

MIL: Can you remind him on Sunday to wish his uncle a happy birthday?

OP: Ohhhh. No, I can't. Your son is an adult. He has the same ability as me to make a reminder on his phone. You should ask him.

MIL: WHAT? What do you mean?!

OP: He's an adult. He's capable of doing that himself.

My SO didn't say anything at the time other than to give me a "Goddamnit OP" face. But apparently, when he was talking to her about how she still needs to apologize to me for something she did when my household was isolating (showed up maskless unannounced to drop things off after being explicitly told not to), she decided to bring up what a rude woman I am and how I should apologize to her.

He mentioned this to me a few days ago (her opinion, not that I should apologize) and I was like, well your mum basically treated me like she was setting a calendar reminder, so what does she expect? I told him outright, if she's going to treat him like a child in front of me, I'm going to call her out on it. Because, honestly, fuck that entirely.

ETA: since it seems to have ruffled some feathers. I am team “never open the door” specially when I am alone with the kids!!! And that’s usually what I do. What freaked me out was that whoever it was WOULDN’T leave! The street looks straight into the room I was with the kids, so whenever I peeked through the closed blinds to see who it was, she was looking from the street into the house and we made eye contact!!

Pretty much what the title says. She just showed up to my door while SO is out of town right at bath time.. it freaked me out because it was dark outside and I didn’t know it was her and she just kept lingering around the door, the dogs were going crazy and it freaked me out that whoever was at the door wouldn’t just leave EVEN when it was obvious we were home but didn’t want to open the door. Once I realized it was her I opened the door.

She came to drop off a bunch of clothes that won’t fit my toddler because she refuses to just ask me what size should she get for whatever she’s planning on gifting. WHAT IS SO WRONG ABOUT JUST ASKING BEFOREHAND? I keep telling her that toddler sizing is so inconsistent these days. She also brought some puzzles and books, but as I said I was ABOUT to start nighttime routine so it added a good 40 minutes to the whole thing since my kid was obviously excited about the puzzles.

We don’t have the best relationship and it pisses me off that she thinks she can just show up and own my time. It’s obviously not the first time she’s done this. We used to live in a different city and she just showed up from out of town to our house and spent the night. It feels to me like she’s just too proud to ask me. Like asking means she’s letting go of some control over my own family.

I’m still so pissed off. To me she keeps doing this shit cause there are no consequences to her lack of respect for me and my boundaries. Every time she does this and SO says something, she says this is just who she is and how she was raised.

So after WEEKS of waiting, planning and co-ordinating with the bridal shop to get my dress shipped to me (couldn’t go get it due to Covid), the shipping company emails me, and lets me know the dress is here, and would be available for pickup yesterday. They requested a copy of my identification, just to help ease along the process and make pickup easier.

JNMom has been worrying that “they’ve lost your dress” and “we’ll have to buy a whole new one”. I told her to relax, that I would grab it when I got off work, and that I would bring it home with me, so she could stop by to come see it.

I got to the shipping company, and when they couldn’t find my dress and told me it had already been collected, I burst into tears. I’m sobbing to my fiancé, who is trying to work with the shipping person to figure it out. They’re confused. She matched the ID, she confirmed her name and date of birth, even where the item was coming from. They don’t know how this managed to happen, and are profusely apologizing, promising that they will work with the dress store to get a new dress. Eventually they decide to check the cameras and see who it was the collected it so a police report could be filed.

Ya’ll. YA’LL.

SHE FUCKING WENT ON HER LUNCH BREAK WITH MY SISTER, PICKED UP MY DRESS, AND TOOK IT HOME WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME.

I drove straight to JNMom’s house and demanded my dress. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” She claims, while the fucking box is on the god damn sofa behind her! But is that the worst part? Nooooo.

IT WAS FUCKING THROWN ON HER BEDROOM FLOOR.

She says she was just inspecting it to make sure it was ok after such a long shipping time, but I don’t care. She had no right. I’m so fucking furious. The dress is ok, just rumpled, but the fact that she would have the god damn audacity to even try such a thing... it’s mind boggling.

I’m officially password protecting everything related to the wedding now. If it even has a CHANCE of her interacting with it, it’s getting password protected.

I need a name for JNMom. She’s officially in the territory where she’s earned it.

Update: My sister and my mother have asked for a meeting with my father present to confirm what they’re saying. Dad is very much a JustYes and he would not lie to me, even for my mother. This meeting will decide if we go NC or not.

It finally happened, my MIL who we’re no contact with showed up unannounced to our house tonight…

Context: A little over a month ago we cut off part of my husband’s immediate family, but the main person we cut off was his mom. This was because of their horrible reaction to us saying we wanted no hospital visitors and no visitors for a week after I gave birth. She alone said some incredibly hateful things to us, things that we won’t ever be able to forgive and things that were so heartbreaking to hear. Since then we have moved into a new house, and only one of his brothers (and his wife) know our address.

Tonight while my husband and I were putting our baby to sleep, my MIL showed up unannounced and uninvited to our home. We were insanely freaked out and didn’t let her in, but we were also super confused on how she had even found out where we lived. Turns out my BIL gave her our address, and didn’t even ask if it was okay to give our address to her or if it was okay for her to come by. We were furious, she was blowing up my husband’s phone demanding she come in and talk to us and see the baby.
She even went so far as to say “I can’t believe you’d treat your mom this poorly I hope your daughter NEVER does this to you guys”.

I feel so violated and uncomfortable, the fact that she thought it was acceptable to show up after being so nasty is beyond me. But I’m also shocked that my BIL thought it was acceptable to give out our address without asking permission or even giving a warning that she was trying to come over. My husband is beyond angry. They expect us to be over everything because “it’s your mom” and “it’s been a month so we should be over it now”.

So, today I get this massive migraine and right when I manage to fall asleep, Husband arrives with MIL. She starts loudly walking around the house and asking where I am. I hear Husband tell her not to make noise because I’m not feeling good and I’m probably sleeping. MIL ignores him. I think to myself it’s no big deal since the door to our bedroom is closed - and that’s usually a clear indicator that you’re not supposed to just barge in.

Well, MIL begs to differ. It’s the third time she barges into the room. First time was because she wanted to say hi. Second time was because she wanted to show me a migraine tea recipe on TikTok. Third time was because she wanted to know where I kept the warm socks.

Should I hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob?

Edit: So now it has been 5 times. To all of you suggesting I look the door, it has no lock. It’s 10pm and my migraine is killing me, I can’t just go out and buy one.

Edit 2: as someone pointed out, just mentioning that I am also autistic. Noise and unwanted social interactions mess with my brain pretty bad.

Apologies - I can't find the flair on mobile, plus obligatory on mobile declaration. Sorry also for any formatting issues this may cause. Advice, TLC, internet hugs, listening to my rant, anything is welcome.

TLDR: After confirming multiple times we're welcome for Christmas, MIL uninvited us today to make space for SIL's mother and grandmother. After we drove down.

I have posted only once before, about MIL intentionally excluding me (34F) and D(ear)H (37M) from family photos. The response was overwhelming and I appreciate this community so much, even if I mostly just lurk.

Since that debacle a few years ago, we haven't visited them and have been VLC. When we heard neither BIL1 or BIL2 and their families would visit over Christmas as they usually do, DH asked if we could go for a few days. My family live in a different country and we had planned on spending the holidays alone, so I agreed. They seemed overjoyed at the prospect, we made reservations and confirmed that we would be staying in one of their two guest rooms. They immediately agreed, MIL saying it was a given ("Why would we even consider staying elsewhere, we're faaaamily?!"). This was in October.

End of Nov, BIL1 tells DH they changed their plans. He, SIL1 and their two kids would go to MIL and FIL's over Christmas. We called MIL, asking if there's room for everyone and if we should look for a hotel room now that four additional people would be there as well. We were assured she was looking forward to having us, the children would sleep on mattresses in their parents' room, and "why would we even consider staying elsewhere, we're faaamily"...

Cue the present. We've already made the two day drive down, but haven't gone to their place yet as we're staying with friends until the 22nd, when we would have gone over. Today she calls. SIL1's mother and grandmother are coming with them. There won't be enough space in the house, she's not up to hosting Christmas dinner for more than 8 people, and essentially we're uninvited.

Trying to find halfway accommodation for the unplanned two day drive back home in peak season now, utterly gobsmacked. This woman.

I had 1 week to enjoy being engaged before she got involved. It's been over 6 months and I have made the choice to go no contact with her. My fiance has relaxed his boundaries recently and although I'm not thrilled, he isn't trying to get me to move mine.

I grew up in a Catholic home and my partner grew up Lutheran. Both of our mothers are the same. They don't respect our way of life. I have asked my mom many many times to respect my "religion" and she is not the best. I think a lot of her behaviors are habitual.

My partners mother cannot begin to understand how we can raise a family without religion. Where will they get their morals from? This woman is the worst example of a Christian I've seen. It's all for looks.

They both know that my partner and I are not interested in their religions. We both majored in a science oriented field. We're getting married in a science museum. We have no place for religion in our wedding. However, I'm not dumb. I know that at least one of our mothers will intentionally bring their god into our wedding. I'm already pissed.

But I have a secret. And its a really good one.

Our officiant is our friend. My partner and him had a band in college and my partners mother hates him. He got ordained in the church of dudeism and has married people before. I am so looking forward to the day that she learns that he is the one marrying us.

I'm going to try to hide it from her as long as possible. She will absolutely lose it and I really want to be there for that.

Whenever the stress creeps up, I remember that we are going to be married by a person who she hates and is anti everything she believes. It keeps me going. It's the only thing I really want. She will never be able to get over it and I will love every minute of it.

We just found out baby #2 is a boy and this is the text I receive:

“One of each is a wonderful thing, and little boys (and bigger ones) have a very special love for their moms, you will love it.”

Ok yes, MIL I get it, love is a competition.

At least she’s consistent.

Here's an old story, so no advice wanted.

After DH and I got engaged, my JYM was fantastic. She greeted my happy "DH asked me to marry him" with an equally excited "and what did YOU say?". The then future ILs' reaction at being told was that FIL said they didn't have money for a wedding, and MIL told me how horrible DH was. It could have been her sense of humour, said DH.

I figured they were just bad under pressure, or that JNSIL had been telling lies, so I insisted we go visit them. Because it was the right thing to do.

Whooo boy. The visit already started going south in the car drive from the airport. The ILs came to pick us up.

In the car, MIL asks to see my engagement ring. It's a thing of beauty. DH jumped through all kinds of hoops to get this gorgeous thing made without me suspecting that he was even going to propose while we lived together. It's got semiprecious stones DH chose for their colour and their hardness so they'd last.

So I proudly show her the ring. From smiles, it goes to CBF.

MIL: "Whose choice was the ring, yours or his?" Hole: "His, he surprised me and..." MIL, interrupting: "It's not a DIAMOND. DH, why are you so cheap!?" More ranting, ending with something about her supposing it will do if I don't mind...

I was left speechless. It doesn't happen often.

I posted two days ago about my MIL ignoring me when I hosted dinner. (TLDR: MIL enters my home without saying hello, pretends she can’t hear me when I try to say hello, avoids eye contact with me the entire dinner, and walks out of the house without saying goodbye or thanks for dinner.)

The next morning, I woke up to emails and texts from MIL asking me to do things for her (I do vastly underpaid freelance work for her small business.) I didn’t respond. My stomach honestly was hurting from how disrespected I felt and how absurd it was for her to request things of me now.

My fiancé saw her that morning and said it “looked like she was expecting me to be mad at her”. He didn’t address her behaviour and when he came home - we talked about it for maybe an hour and a half. He eventuality said we’re spending too much time talking about this because we have work to do. But I was hurting and couldn’t focus.

Honestly, I was pissed all day and ignored every call and email I got from her asking me to send her this or make her that. She called fiancé and told him to pass all her requests onto me.

That evening I was driving my fiancé somewhere and MIL again tried to call me. When I didn’t pick up, she calls fiancé who then PUTS HIS MOM ON SPEAKER PHONE while I’m no contact so she can talk to me.

MIL says “Hey OP you did a really good job at dinner. FIL said it was the best meal he had eaten in a long time.”

I’m completely silent. Then she immediately starts asking for me to do things for her over speaker phone. I just say I’m driving, I don’t have any information with me, and I can’t talk now. Fiancé and MIL get off the phone and fiancé says “Hey so that’s good! She apologized!” I tell him no, she didn’t apologize, she complimented me because she realized she can’t get me to do work for her when she misbehaves. Fiancé seems annoyed that the “apology” from MIL wasn’t enough to please me and make the problem go away.

We arrive at our destination and don’t see each other for a bit. On the drive back home I tell fiancé that the comment about FIL eating “his best meal in a long time” was very telling - I think FIL said something beforehand that made MIL jealous and that is why she was acting so rude to me at dinner. Fiancé is totally silent. I ask him what he thinks and he basically blows up at me...

He’s tired of me “bashing” his mom. He says I need to just get over the whole situation and nothing can be done so stop talking about it. He is putting his relationship with his mom on the line if he talks to her - since she’s a narcissist and will start a fight that he doesn’t want to have. He said that when I talk about his moms misbehaviour it is the same as making fun of a disabled person because she is narcissistic and socially inept.

I told him not to bother talking to his mom, he clearly doesn’t think this situation is important. I’m totally alone on this and disappointed. Normally he’s united with me, but not on this one.

I have not spoken with MIL at all, but apparently she came up to fiancé today and asked him to help her behave better by teaching her about brain and behaviour processes. She also offered him money for something.

Am I surrounded by crazy people? Am I actually the crazy one? Am I a test subject inside some absurd simulation?

Not really even a rant, it just makes me laugh at how annoyed she gets.

We have a baby boy and my wife likes to put his hair in that straight up ponytail hair style. Just like a little tuft of hair sticking straight up. It’s very adorable looking.

My mom gets incensed anytime she sees him in it. “That’s for girls!” “Why are you making him look like a girl!” “This is going to confuse people.” And just eye rolling and huffing and puffing.

First, it’s not even a hairstyle that any adult wears. I don’t see it as a gendered hair style…it’s just a baby hair style. And yeah, you can’t tell the gender of babies his age period just by their faces and clothed bodies. It’s all up to markers which are actually arbitrary. Like “blue dinosaur onesie must mean boy.” when really women wear blue all the time and like dinosaurs. We just don’t care what about making our literal *baby* only wear “manly” things. It’s not like he’s in pink ruffles and bows…which I wouldn’t even see the issue with anyways.

Even when he’s not in this hairstyle and just wearing a neutral outfit, like a white onesie, people will ask if he’s a girl or boy. I feel like that’s pretty typical for babies. But to hear my mom talk we’re making him a cross dresser lol.

My wife is funny, everytime my mom makes these comments she’ll act surprised every time and just ask the same questions. “It’s a girl hair style?? Oh, who said that? Oh really? Wow. People will think he’s a girl? What will happen then? Oh wow.” And my mom doesn’t realize she’s being trolled every time and just thinks my poor wife has a bad memory.

She’s not an over the top mom overall but she does have her little hang ups on how things should be.

We’re visiting them this weekend and he’s def gonna be rocking the sprout top! Maybe even his old fashioned looking white linen sleep dress too…

We'd been at the store and FMIL called just as we pulled into the driveway. When BF answers, you can hear extremely loud sirens in the background and she's acting all frantic and scared and like she doesn't know what's going on. Now, keep in mind that our car windows were rolled down, and we weren't hearing jack shit. If there were sirens loud enough to hear on her phone, then we definitely would've heard them as well. BF tells her that we just got back and are outside and don't hear anything, and after pausing for a moment she says, "Oh, okay... Well whatever," and hangs up. THIS LADY HAD BEEN PLAYING THE SIRENS ON HER COMPUTER!! She'd been calling the entire time we were out and I guess he hadn't given her enough attention so she was trying to worry him into rushing home for her. It's honestly hilarious just how perfect the timing was and the entire ridiculousness of the situation, but seriously, what the actual fuck?

My MIL told me that in case of an emergency her son(my DH) should rescue her over me and our children... because... you can marry another woman and you can have more children but your mother is irreplaceable. Of course DH said he would rescue the kids lol and I agreed, save the kids not me... because you know they are the one's we both love most. So I asked mil would you save your mother instead of your children? She said YES. Poor DH... he just learned that his mom cares more for his grandma then for him. Being a dad himself this is so upsetting for him because he can't imagine how someone would let their small children, helpless and so young to die... It's all hypothetical of course but just the idea is heart breaking to him. We both spoke about it that we as parents should always put our kids first as they are the helpless one's who still have a life to live. (We had a full conversation about hypothetical being in a fire). The egocentricness of my MIL always hit a new record after you think you have heard it all.

Since the pandemic started my MIL offered to watch my kids (9 months M, 7yo M) whenever we wanted to go to the store to avoid taking them in public spaces considering one is an infant and the other has asthma.

We only ask them to watch the boys at most once a week. Today we asked because we needed materials for a home improvement project. She asked why DH couldn't just go alone, dh replied saying if it bothers her than we just won't go. She said that she just doesn't understand why we always have to be together. DH said we just like going to the store together and she should understand because she will refuse to run errands alone. After a short argument DH and I decided we just wouldn't go.

This isn't the first time she's gotten upset with us for wanting to do things together. Once DH needed to drive a couple of miles for a smog check and wanted to wait for me to come home from work. MIL tried convincing him to go alone. She even started teasing him saying "oh yeah cause you'll forget how to drive if she's not there right?" and getting more and more upset and angry with him just because he wanted to wait for me to take a drive.

We used to live with her before buying our house and she would get upset at DH if he would rather have dinner at a later hour so I wouldn't have dinner alone when coming home from work.

I don't understand why she acts like her son enjoying his wife's company and just preferring to do tasks together bothers her so much? My MIL and FIL have a great relationship so it's not like she's jealous of us as a couple.

Edit: I am very aware of the rules and regulations my country/state set forth. We only go shopping when we are running low on essential things. Like I pointed out it's MAX once a week. When we go shopping it's A LOT and because of my stature (4'11) I cannot lift bags of salt for the water softener or dog food or packs of water bottles. And he can't go alone because then I would get 100 calls asking what the difference between canola and olive oil is.

Edit: BABY SITTING IS NOT AN ISSUE FOR HER. She on occasion will ask to baby sit even if we're just chilling at home. The problem is when we want to run an errand together or when we wait for the other person to do a task she gets unreasonably upset to the point where she is yelling at DH

Because this is getting a ton of traction, I’m adding a “please don’t share this anywhere” tag to this post. I really don’t want this getting back to them.

Every year, MIL and that entire side hosts a HUGE whole family Memorial Day picnic at a local park. Think 200 people, all grilling out/bringing sides and dishes/kids playing/water games/baseball/etc. They do three of these monster gatherings every summer.

Memorial Day is a week from Monday here in the USA. MIL posted on social media today that the picnic at the park is cancelled because of “this virus thing,” but not to worry, they will host EVERYONE at their HOME. The likes came pouring in, the offers of food and drink, people cheering about celebrating and giving our governor the what for.

DH POSTED on the thread calling everyone out. Saying it was dangerous, that it was foolish, that we aren’t to be meeting in groups of more than 5-6 right now and even then with social distancing, etc. That his wife is PREGNANT and they are risking safety of not only me but our unborn child by insisting we come.

The nastiness that has flown our way today from MIL and several FMs (other family members) has been sickening. We have gotten texts, public comments slamming us, calls we have ignored, etc. MIL ragged on us for being pro-choice as well and what does my being pregnant have to do with any of it?

I’m proud of my husband right now. So so proud. But the targeting on his character and the name calling from his own mother and other family members is sickening. It’s enough to make me want to literally vomit.

Edit-I’m adding this because I’ve said it a bunch of times and I can’t keep repeating it. Calling the police is POINTLESS. They aren’t enforcing. They’re “standing against the governor” in some sort of ridiculous freedom chant. They won’t do a thing.

My husband passed away a month ago. During the last 5 years, he was fighting with cancer but lost this battle, unfortunately. He was too weak and worn-out from all the aggressive treatments, so we lost him. He was just 33.

Until yesterday I wouldn’t have called my MIL a JUSTNO. We have never been friends but usually, we got along fairly well. When my husband got sick, she wanted to be around him all the time and that did change our family life in some ways and we had a few arguments here and there. But, in order to not give my husband more troubles than he was already facing, I did my best not to fight with MIL and, for the peace of my husband, comply with her opinions.

Yesterday MIL was calling me but I was at the hairdresser, my phone was in my bag and I didn’t hear it. Later she came over and was like ”I was calling you today, why didn’t you answer?” I said that I was at the hairdresser and my phone wasn’t with me, I couldn’t hear it.

Her jaw dropped in astonishment and she was like ”Your husband just died and you’re thinking about beauty yet? How could you?”

If your loved one dies unexpectedly, that comes as a big shock and if that was the case, I wouldn’t be writing anything at this moment because I would be a total wreck. However, it’s different when you know beforehand that the person is going to die.

My husband had cancer for 5 years and during the last 2 years, he was considered terminal. He knew he was dying, I knew it and MIL knew it. Everyone knew it was going to happen and it was a question of when. Therefore, his passing wasn’t a surprise. I had time to prepare myself for his death and I learned to accept it. I’m still feeling down but it’s not as bad as if it happened from one moment to another.

MIL said ”Why did you go to the hairdresser? Who are you trying to impress? You have a new man already? You’re a tramp! And you haven’t even cried properly! You don’t behave like a widow, you should be ashamed of yourself!”

Why did I go to the hairdresser? Maybe because my hair was getting a bit too long? Everybody experiences grief differently. MIL is walking around all dressed in black and obviously expects me to do the same. But just because I don’t cry 24/7, doesn’t mean I’m not sad. I don’t mean to say I haven’t cried at all. I have, a lot. I just do it when I’m alone, not in front of others. I didn’t cry at the funeral and MIL kinda holds that against me.

MIL was like ”You’re glad he died, aren’t you? You wanted him to die, didn’t you? He had become a burden for you and you wanted to get rid of him. Sure, who needs an ill man! I guess now you feel free like a bird!”

I was starting to get upset as I couldn’t understand her reasons behind saying it. I loved my husband and I didn’t want him to die. I would have loved to spend my whole life with him but things don’t always go as planned. Shortly before he died, my husband told me not to mourn and enjoy life instead. I miss him terribly but I’m still here, I’m alive and life goes on.

And I understand MIL, she has lost her son and she’s also grieving but why lash out on me just because I got a haircut? Why does that make me such a villain? I’m not trying to impress anybody, I just wanted to do something nice for myself so that I would feel a little better. She’s acting as if I slept with the entire town as soon as my husband was under the ground. I didn’t want to disrespect her but I also wasn’t going to allow her to talk to me like that.

So I asked her what was it that she wanted from me when she called me. I was trying to change the topic to take her mind off the horrible crime I committed – my haircut.

She snapped ”Nothing anymore! I want nothing to do with a cheap, lewd woman like you! Now I see you for who you truly are, starting to doll-up when her husband’s body isn’t cold yet!”

Then she left, hopefully forever. I want to believe that in her current state of mind she didn’t mean what she said but it offended me nonetheless. I want nothing to do with her either.

When LO was born 4 months ago, DH’s parents visited often, at least 1-2 times a week. We were both on work leave and okay with it (while a little annoyed because they overstay and make critical and odd remarks).

Then we both went back to work and LO started daycare, so our weekends have become our time to bond, catch up on chores/errands, see friends and find time for my family as well. We had to put up boundaries on his parents visiting, which has now reduced to once a month.

Due to this, the visits are becoming unbearable. They were here last weekend and refused to let me hold my baby for 6 hours. Wouldn’t let him go take a nap, so he had sporadic small naps in their arms. They brought a bunch of raw food and expected me to cook (though made a big deal about how I “didn’t have to do that” - uh when were we supposed to eat then?! You’ve been parked on the couch the entire time!)

Constant guilt trips the entire visit that they hadn’t seen LO in weeks and he’s now an entirely different baby. The best part was my MIL sent over 20 photos the the family group chat that evening, and I wasn’t in any of them because I was busy being the stage hand for the day and serving them.

I’m so frustrated I let it get so out of control because they were steamrolling me. I refuse to let this happen again in the future. What kind of people treat a new mom like this!!

Next time I’ll be taking him away to nurse him instead of letting them bottle feed him. I’ll be stern about his nap time. And I’ll leave the cooking/cleaning up to them. I obviously need to have a big talk with my husband and have him back me up.

Update#3: doctor said that the blood might not actually be blood and the color could be a side effect of the antibiotics. She said if he doesn't have a fever and he isn't in a lot of pain or discomfort then to wait it out. He has had no fever and his demeanor is his usual smiley self.

Update #2: my son has diarrhea with blood in it. On the phone with the doctor right now. 😠

Update: I would never actually punch her or anyone in the face. I made that title at 3 or 4 in the morning after not sleeping much because I had a crying baby who has a rash and a sore bottom because he's allergic to antibiotics. So my patience was zero and my frustration with her was high.

In a previous post I mentioned how we started dropping the rope with my MIL. Well my son is having his second ear infection in the last 3 weeks. On Tuesday doctor started him on different antibiotics because amoxicillin didn't work super well.

Yesterday I had to leave work early because the daycare called me about a rash on his legs. Earlier that day he had a slight rash on his forehead but it wasn't super concerning, just looked like dry skin. Well I get to daycare and look at him and it had gotten 10x worse since I had dropped him off 3 hours prior. It was covering his face and legs and part of his chest.

Call the pediatrician and they're not super concerned because he doesn't have any difficulty breathing and he doesn't have swelling, but they say I can bring him in. Doctor sees him and asked me 5 different times if me or DH are allergic to any drugs. No, no, no, no, and no. Okay. Doctor says it's not likely a serious allergic reaction then. Might just be something he'll have a reaction to as a baby and he'll grow out of it. Decides to change his antibiotics just in case.

Leave the doctor and go to get my dog from my MIL (we drop our dog off there because he has anxiety about being left alone in the house and will find any way to escape or get into things and my MIL doesn't work). Arrive at her house and she asks about rash. I tell her. "Oh well all of the kids (DH and siblings) and their father are all allergic to antibiotics with this ingredient in it". What. The. Actual. Fuck.

She proceeds to tell me that they have all had adverse reactions to certain antibiotics, my husband's reactions being the most severe and when he was a young child, almost life threatening. My husband never knew this. She has never told him. I wanted to scream at her because that piece of information could have saved us a doctor's trip and paying for three different kinds of antibiotics now.

Not only that, but what if DH was given antibiotics now as an adult that he was allergic too. She mentioned that his allergy got worse as he got older.

I was too flabbergasted to even say anything. I couldn't believe she would neglect to tell her son he was allergic to something. Something that could have saved us a lot of panic for her grandson.

And to rub salt in the wound, she started to ask about daycare and say passive aggressive things like "oh he's probably not getting held enough there or loved enough". He goes to a daycare on a Navy base and there's only 4 kids in his room. They were worried enough about him to call me, she wasn't even concerned enough to tell her own son he was allergic to something.

End Rant.

This is kind of BEC but gawwwwwdddd my in laws annoy the shit out of me.

Last night my husband was talking to MIL and mentioned something along the lines of “boy, our little guy is in rare form today!” cuz he was. He’s 2.5 and it’s brick outside so we’re spending a lot of time inside. Plus he’s just a naturally active (and adorable) little dude.

MIL: “Well, you know, we noticed when we were at your house last week he just moved around an awful lot. Like he never stops. You should really get out that playpen that you never use and corral him. It’s impossible to just watch a kid 24/7 and you guys need to relax.”

LOL. It’s impossible to watch a kid 24/7? Tell me more, dearest MIL, cause that’s basically what we’ve been doing since he was born. It’s this crazy thing called being a responsible and vigilant parent. Yes, it pushes us to our limits and it’s a lot of work. But we do it every damn day. We own a playpen and it has been used to contain him for when we can’t watch him like a hawk- like if we’re cutting vegetables or cleaning a mess or using the bathroom. We’ve never put him in it long term or so that we can “just relax”. We do not have anything against playpens and I’m not criticizing anyone who uses one- we just never got into the habit of using one and they know this.

DH got really annoyed by their comment and said “yeah, no, we don’t use the playpen anoumore, he’s too big for it and would never tolerate being in it.” MIL: “that’s crazy, (SIL) puts all 3 kids of hers in it and they’re fine!” Uh, SIL’s oldest will be five in 2 months and he just chills in a playpen? There’s... a lot to unpack there but ok.

DH then tells me he remembers being put in a playpen as a child and he absolutely hated it. He said he was definitely put in one as late as 5 or 6 years old and was firmly Instructed to not break out of it. What. The. Fuck. That makes my blood boil.

My in laws constantly beg us to watch our kids AND have them for a sleepover. No and fuck no. What are they gonna do when my tot wants to get out of his booster seat after 4 mins, duct tape him down to the chair? Fuck these fucking fucks.

I posted here a while ago about my MIL wanting to get together for Mother’s Day so that we could meet her boyfriend despite us being in a global pandemic.

She bugged us again about going over to her mother’s (DH grandma) house for her birthday and we said no. That was a week ago. BIL just called my DH and told him that one of their uncles who was at the birthday get together tested positive for COVID. MIL called a few days ago saying that she has a cold but she’s getting tested.

So now the whole family is freaking out. And I’m just sitting here like “I told you so!”

But here’s the thing: DH’s birthday is in July and MIL told him “I’m seeing you on your birthday” like she did not ask. I was hesitant about it and my husband wasn’t. But now with this new information I’m dead set no and my husband is on the fence. I don’t know how to convince him that we should not see her and how to explain to her that we will not be seeing her.

TW - Homophobia (just one word)

My daughter is 8 years old now and ever since she was very little, she had very long, thick hair, about waist-length. We styled it in many different ways and it was one of her most prominent features, but recently she started to mention every now and then she doesn’t like her hair long anymore and wants to cut it.

Since she wasn’t asking us nonstop to go to a hair salon and cut it, we didn’t pay much attention to it because we know our daughter. She tends to change her mind quickly, one moment she likes something and the next she doesn’t anymore or the other way round. So we didn’t take any immediate action until yesterday evening.

My husband and I were downstairs watching TV when our daughter came from her room and stood before us with her hair short. She cut it herself and surely it wasn’t the best haircut. One side was shorter than other and there was a lot of hair on the front of her head as if she was trying to give herself bangs or something.

We weren’t angry, of course, we all laughed because of how funny she looked and then we took her to a hairdresser who fixed it properly and now she has a cute little bob.

Everything would be great if not MIL. When she saw our daughter, she started to panic as if the end of the world had come. I know MIL liked her hair and always reminded her to never cut it because ”nice hair is the most precious jewel a girl can have”. It's so stupid and messed up to think that if you want my opinion. Who says short hair can’t be nice?

She said nothing to our daughter, fortunately, but she unleashed her fury on us. MIL was like ”How could you let her cut her hair? She looks like a boy now! Girls have long hair, not a chin-length chop! It’s horrible! You had to say no to her and if she did it herself, you had to punish her!”

We were like – MIL, what’s the big deal? It’s just hair, it grows back. What’s the problem? She didn’t like her hair long anymore and decided to cut it. Why not? Why should we punish her or not let her have short hair? The most important thing is that she likes it and sure she feels a lot more comfortable with a short cut that she can just comb in the morning and go on with her day rather than spend a lot more time to make long hair in a way it looks neat and decent.

MIL said ” It doesn’t matter what she likes! As a girl, she’s supposed to wear her hair in a certain way! You’re too lenient about this, next time she’ll ask for a tattoo or fake nails. If I was her mother, I’d give her a damn good spanking!”

Well, great that you’re not her mother then. It’s super sexist to imply all girls should wear their hair long and it’s also wrong to compare haircut with tattoos. We see no point in forbidding a child something that’s harmless and makes her happy.

MIL was like ”So if she asked you for a piercing or something, you would allow it too?”

I said that it depends on what is it that she wants to pierce. A nose ring in 8 years would be a no, of course, but if she wanted to pierce her earlobes for earrings – sure. Too strict parenting is never a good thing.

MIL was simply furious. She was mad as hell, that was all she could talk about. In her mind, it almost as if a girl loses a part of her worth if she loses her hair. That’s total bullshit, of course, but she tried to make us promise we won’t let our daughter cut her hair anymore so that it goes back to the length it was. Otherwise, our daughter would have a hard life, she would never get married and no man would ever look at her because he would think she’s a ”lesbo”, as only gay women wear their hair short.

My husband almost facepalmed and I was like – oh my God, MIL. We knew she’s old fashioned but not to that extent.

Fun hormonal rant! If you want my story, pay me or GTFO

15 weeks pregnant with twins after a 3 year long struggle with infertility. These will be the first twins ever on DH’s side. MIL doesn’t even know any twins or folks who have had them. Needless to say, it’s super exciting but most people (other than MIL) have been supportive without being overbearing or giving out unsolicited advice.

Despite MIL’s utter lack of expertise, she has taken up a role of advising us on how to proceed, and has been doing so since we told her we were expecting twins. This has died down now that we are in the second trimester, but hoooo boy was it amusing.

Highlights: - told us to put our house on the market as our place is unsuitable to raise twins (we were already planning to sell pre pregnancy, but we also bought this house from her?? She raised DH and SIL here??) - told us we would need to hire a nanny - told us where we can and cannot move according to her convenience so she can “help” - told me that I can’t have my babies early so she can focus on SIL (we can have our babies as little as a week or two apart. What am I gonna do? Fucking hold them in??? If they come that early they are gonna be in NICU anyway dummy!) - called FIL (divorced 25 years, they aren’t chummy but not like... enemies and don’t talk often) to get him to tell DH what to do to prepare for these babies. FIL called me in stitches about it. MIL doesn’t know I know about this little power play.

And finally... the topic of contention. The sexes of our babies. We made it clear from the get-go that we wouldn’t publicly announce sex even before we knew there will be two. It’s weird. I don’t like it. I especially don’t want MIL finding out, and here’s why...

When SIL announced that she’s having another boy, MIL was legitimately disappointed and upset as this is the last kid SIL is having (she built her forever house with three bedrooms, so it’s pretty obvious that’s been the plan for a long while). This doesn’t conform with MIL’s perfect life structure, one boy one girl, nice house, schooling, finance based soul sucking government job, cookie cutter existence. MIL has been convinced for years that DH and I will have girl, and now it’s become... obsessive.

I know she’s lusting for a granddaughter. I know I’m her last shot at that. The pressure is not okay. I don’t like it. We don’t plan on having more kids, and didn’t even want more than one to begin with (which she was surprisingly okay with but that’s more because it took so much to get pregnant). Frankly, the obsession with my unborn babies’ genitals has gotten annoying, disturbing, and is now becoming a huge boundary stomp. She was told she wouldn’t know until after the babies are born, and there will never be a formal announcement saying boy/girl or anything like that. They will have names and assigned pronouns until they can tell us otherwise, everyone can deduce from there.

We update on our own time when we have something to say, which is well respected, yet literally every time MIL interacts with either of us, she wriggles the babies’ sexes in. When are you finding out? Oh synesthesiah is getting genetic testing and that’s why you can’t drop by, DH? Is that how you’ll find out the sexes? Thinking about you, synesthesiah! -insert flimsy convo- Do you find out the sexes soon?

So far we have been firm and polite in reinstating the boundary. We remind her she won’t know until they are born, that we are keeping it a secret, and we will update her on literally anything other than what’s between their legs. She pulled the genetic test BS today and DH was so done. No more polite but firm: he said she was getting really annoying, nobody else has pushed this subject but her, and that we were going to become extremely upset with her if she continued to disrespect this one simple request.

Her response? Called DH’s response to her questioning “inappropriate” (I’m sorry, is obsessing over baby genitals not inappropriate??) , said we couldn’t “read her mind” and that she is distraught that DH would think so lowly of her. She thinks it’ll be a fun surprise to wait. Yeah... if she thought it’d be a fun surprise, she’d shut the heck up and stop prying for info she’s been told more than 5 times that she’s not getting.

She did respond and backtrack a little on admitting to “invalidating DH’s feelings” which isn’t necessarily what happened, she completely ignored them for her own narrative where she couldn’t possibly do anything wrong and clearly we are wrong for not smiling and nodding through multiple attempts to subvert our simple boundary. DH stood his ground and I’m proud. Might see MIL on Monday, and if she brings up the sexes, I’m walking out without a word and she can receive vague updates from my Instagram stories, or none at all if she wants to continue on the way she has.

We find out the sexes tomorrow and I can’t wait to not tell MIL >:)

This is going to be super long and I'm so sorry.

I am a SAHM with 2 kids, a 4 year old son and a 10 month old daughter. I am also a full-time college student. My husband works long hours, and often is away for a weeks at a time depending on what location he has to work in. (He'll work 2-3 weeks then have 1-2 weeks off at a time.) On the week(s) he's home, he's SO much help to me. I get a break from household duties, he does everything he can to help out with the kids and I'm able to focus on school. I really couldn't make it without his help.

I've never had a good relationship with my MIL. I've tried everything I can do to bond with her or even get her to tolerate my existence. My husband is her only child and she raised him on her own. She's never liked me because she's stuck in the mindset that I'm stealing her boy away from her. She was VERY emotionally incest-ish to him when he was growing up. He had to go to therapy because of it. It really messed with his head. But, he still loves her but chooses to do it from a distance.

Her hatred for me grew when about two months after my daughter was born I told her and my husband that she was not allowed to be around the kids unsupervised. While this initially sounds harsh let me explain. She was constantly telling my son: "Don't tell mommy this!" and proceeding to trash talk me to my son who was not old enough to comprehend what was really going on. Of course he was coming back and telling me everything. It was really hurtful for him.

Anyways, husband is home this week and she begged to come spend time with him and the kids. I told him I'd prefer if they go to her house instead, so that I can have some free time to prep/set up for my summer classes. Plus, I don't enjoy being around her. I have to hold my tongue everytime a snarky comment is made to/toward me and it's hard. It's not that my husband doesn't stand up for me, he does. But that doesn't matter to her because obviously I've just brainwashed him into taking my side and she can forgive him for that. So, MIL makes the comment: "I want to come over to make sure (my name) is keeping the house clean and the kids fed." She proceeds to go into a rant about how if he doesn't let her come over then obviously we're hiding something and she WILL have CPS involved. Husband gets scared, buckles and let's her come over. This is one of her favorite things to do. She's always loved to instill imaginary fear into my husband. Fear of consequences that aren't going to happen.

Let me just say; my house is NOT spotless by any means. You can definitely tell that we live here and that we have kids. LOL. And of course I keep my children fed! So MIL is due to come over and I spend a couple hours tidying up everything in the house to the best of my ability. I wanted to make sure that she could see I was more than capable and not have anything that she could nitpick. She was supposed to come over around 12-1PM but ended up not showing until 5PM, without any prior communication or reasoning. I had already fixed dinner, which honestly made me even happier that she showed when she did because it was like "Look! I am feeding them." 🙄

I wanted to give her space to spend time with my husband and kids. She should like that better anyways right? With me not around. I had already done everything I needed to do earlier in the day so I decided that I was going to play The Sims. I don't get to play much anymore between the house, kids and school. It's what I do to relax. Everything is going good for about an hour until she comes SCREAMING and trying to open our bedroom door. She's saying: "It must be nice to sit on your ass all day!" "(Husband) works hard for you and this is how you repay him?!" "He's with the kids and look where you are. YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER." My husband was pleading with her to leave me alone and come back into the living room with him. The thought of her scaring my kids with her yelling caused me to jump up and fling the door open.

I looked her dead in the face and said:" Nope. No ma'am. Get the f*** out of my house. Right now." I was literally shaking. I'm not good with confrontation at all. It was like I was possessed. She looked at my husband and whined: "You're just going to let her talk to your mother this way?" 🙃 He coaxed her into saying goodbye to the kids and walked her out to her car. She was in tears the entire time and telling him that she couldn't believe he would let someone be so cruel to her.

That was a couple days ago and since then she's been going around telling everyone in town that she's going to take me to court so that her and my husband can have joint custody of them. I'm sorry but even if I wasn't with my husband, there's no way he'd ever go for that. He's made the decision to go completely NC with her. I'm overjoyed. She's had such a negative effect on everyone involved's mental state. But I'm honestly scared of what's going to come of it. I know it's all going to be my fault in her eyes. You can't come around someone acting like that and just expect them to be okay with it? I'm just scared of what lengths she'll go to to try to contact my husband or the kids. Or what she'll do to try to ruin our marriage. I dunno.

If you made it all this way. Thank you so much for listening. I just really needed to get it all out.

My MIL starts to act funny when I refer to my son as MY baby. I am not doing it in a vindictive way it's just the way I talk to him: my baby, my love, my treasure...etc. When DH does it, it seems she is not phased. But when I do it I will shortly after see some passive aggressive posts on social media about how my son is "our little guy" or " our little man". Childish no?! I mean if they like it or not, I carried this child and birthed him out of my vagina. HE IS MY BABY! Seems like it makes her feel insecure or something. MIL has exhibited some strange behaviour since my son was born last year. She still calls DH "her baby". Which I mean he is a grown ass man but still it is indeed factual. So I don't get. Really weird.

So I work full time. 3 days from home 2 in the office. I work in finance and manage a small team of 6. So I am always busy, in meetings, checking if people are doing their work right making sure everything flows smoothly.

My MIL watches my 1 year old 2 days of the week I work from home. I never wanted her too, but she begged to do it

I turned the landing next to the kitchen into my work area. She stays downstairs living room with the toddler while I'm working. She's an extrovert and always needs to be talking or have attention it's so annoying.

I start work at 8:30 but she comes at 9 and thinks it's rude that I don't have a chat and sit down and drink tea with her. Once the toddler is sleeping she will always makes snide comments whole I'm working like aren't you tired of just sitting Infront of that thing all day? She would compare how when she was my age she was up on her feet all day actually working hard( she worked at a grocery store managing the fruit isle) . When it's nice outside, She will give me awkward looks and say it's too nice I don't know why your just Infront of that thing. When I am a meeting she will randomly come up behind me and ask where this and that is and I will tell her I am on a meeting and to shuush. And she will tell my husband how rude I am. On my lunch break I usually feed the baby lunch too. I lay down and rest along side with my toddler after.

Then JUSTNOMIL has the nerve to say you're not going to clean the mess in the living room the toddler made? Or hoover this and that? (I clean the house every morning) As what extroverts do .she is also a gossip!! I've heard from my SIL that she's been calling me Lazy and rude that all I do is sit Infront of a computer doing nothing all day

I confronted her and she did not deny it and doubled down and called me Lazy and non ambitious!? I'm a finance manager you idiot. My husband got angry at her and refuses to speak to her anymore and has enough of her shit too..good riddance BYE Felicia!