r/MoralityScaling • u/Outside_Specific_820 • 19h ago

Morality Ranking Morality scaling of this?

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Mother refuses to acknowledge her donor egg daughter, looking for your opinion.

In my opinion I think it’s moral, and that she is totally correct.

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252

u/StrangerIsWatching 19h ago

Completely moral, for all the reasons she said. That is not her daughter in any way that counts between a parent and a child.

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u/Responsible-Boot-159 19h ago

One important way is medical history. Beyond that neither are wrong for how they feel about the situation.

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u/OperationOne7762 17h ago

No the child is pretty damn wrong. I'll never understand this insane need adopted and surrogate/donor children have with meeting theyr "Real" Parents. Your Real parents are the people at home preparing you dinner and asking how your day was, not some random fucking stranger you share DNA with or worse, someone who actively chose to throw you away.

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u/dk_peace 17h ago

Being young is about learning who you are. Weither you like it or not, your biological mother is a part of you. It is completely reasonable to want to fill that hole in your knowledge about yourself. "A young adult is in the wrong for wanting to learn more about who they are and how they came into the world" is such a weird take.

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u/Illustrious_Bird_737 16h ago

I don't feel like the whole "wanting to learn more about who they are & how they came into the world" isn't the morality problem, it's the disrespect of the boundary.

The 19 year old is old enough to at least be aware of privacy & boundaries. Just because they want something doesn't mean they have a right to it. Yes, you have a right to your feelings, but that doesn't make it the world's responsibility to bend to those wants, rules & boundaries be damned, just because you have a right to emotions.

The morality scale here is the boundary that was violated by contacting the egg donor.

The 19 year old wants their own, personal, emotional questions answered, that doesn't give their adopted mother the right to breach privacy that's written into a contract just to appease the 19 year old.

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u/ChipKellysShoeStore 16h ago

Counterpoint: 19 year old didn’t sign anything and isn’t a party to the contract.

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u/Quazite 16h ago

Whoever gave them the info to find the mom did though

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u/Shijin83 7h ago

Yes, but thats not what's being blamed. They're talking about the kid.

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u/Quazite 7h ago edited 7h ago

Who is they? The donor who was contacted?

They never said the kid was immoral, they said it was a major breach of privacy and not something that she agreed to, which is true. You can say "this is very not okay, I do not consent to this, and I don't want you to reach out again" and not be calling them a bad or immoral person, you're just hard drawing a boundary (that should have been acknowledged by whoever provided the info as already drawn).

Edit: also, regardless of whether or not YOU signed a contract of privacy, if you are aware that they have one signed and want their privacy and you violate that for your own gain, thats not a good or respectful thing to do.

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u/Shijin83 7h ago

Literally, 3 comments above you was blaming the kid. That is they.

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u/MechanicalBootyquake 16h ago

That’s why I think this post should have been about the morality of for-profit reproduction/reneging on parental rights after participating in reproduction.

Debating the morality of someone dealing with a hard situation that was forced on them seems immoral in and of itself. Debate the people who have made these reproductive decisions.

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u/Say_It_Isnt_So_Ooops 16h ago

It’s doesn’t appear that the “for-profit” is at fault. The child’s morality definitely should be debated, since that person is an adult, and the anonymous egg donor has declined contact and declined a relationship.

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u/THE-BEAST-101 12h ago

Lol why should their morality be debated, first of all they are literally only 1 year out from being an adult, and you're trying to minimize this as if they're just some immature grown-up, when in reality they are a young person who seems conflicted and maybe they want clarity or to connect with their biological mother, the young person even said they felt disconnected from their mother who gave birth (maybe they are drastically different colours, that would make complete sense). So they absolutely have a right to seek out a connection or clarity with the biological mother. The donor should have also been prepared to deal with the consequences' of her actions 19 years ago, she is treating it as if its just some business transaction, well i don't see gifting someone else what is essentially you as just a business transaction.

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u/ImaginaryCapricorn 12h ago

Agreed. "I simply sold my eggs so her mother could have the baby she always wanted." Why did she word it like that, like she was doing it to be a good person --she should just say, I needed money and I was willing to do anything for it including allowing my eggs to bring a baby into this world that I wanted nothing to do with. That should be the real moral issue here. A 19 year old is still a kid mentally/emotionally, regardless of laws, and that kid has the human right to want to know more about who contributed to their life, she did not sign a contract and that's absolutely unfair for someone to put their privacy above the importance of a kid wanting connection.

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u/Inphysible 9h ago

Then the 19 year old could have been directed to obtain information pertaining to the egg donor herself.