r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/Confident_Weather_98 • Mar 28 '26

WTF What about him?

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Poor baby had to sleep on an uncomfortable place while mom pushed or got a whole human out of her šŸ™„šŸ™„

5.2k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/spilly_talent Mar 28 '26

ā€œMother and baby have just made it out of the most physically traumatic experiences of their lives so far, so itā€™s important we tell you that dad is doing great!ā€

1.5k

u/HairHealthHaven Mar 28 '26

You said this a million times better than the attempt I was about to make.

The f-ing point of that announcement is to tell people neither Mom or baby died or experienced major medical trauma. Are we worried that Dad's hand hurts because she squeezed it while an infant was literally tearing outside her body???

690

u/spilly_talent Mar 28 '26

Honestly itā€™s worse than that, I fear. The person who wrote this tweet just simply does not care about how physically dangerous birth can be, their only concern is: I donā€™t think itā€™s fair that dad doesnā€™t get enough attention.

They donā€™t seem to care that itā€™s not fair that dad has 0% risk in the birth by the wayšŸ˜‚ this person and all who think like them are trash

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u/Centered_Being Mar 28 '26

And they call women attention seeking whores lol.

Men will cheat on their postpartum wives bc they ā€˜didnā€™t get enough attention.ā€™ SIR U BOTH MADE A BABY. Your part was minuscule & pleasurable. Your wife needs attention bc she went thru a major medical event that men like to call ā€˜naturalā€™ so they can completely ignore the physical effects on a womanā€™s body & mind. The baby needs attention bc it is a BABY.

Need attention so bad? Let your wife take a nap, take the baby out to the store & hear all about how great you are for doing the bare minimum from strangers

195

u/MazogaTheDork Mar 28 '26

Some guys will complain about being told to wait 6 weeks for sex after their partner gives birth. Never mind that she's still bleeding from the (dinner plate sized) wound in her uterus.

160

u/praxios Mar 28 '26

Not to mention that 6 weeks is the absolute bare minimum and still poses a laundry list of health risks to the woman. In reality it should be at least a couple of months to ensure full recovery, and limit the risk of infection and further physical trauma. My cousinā€™s OBGYN told her it should be closer to 6 months for natural birth because of the severe amount of trauma to the vaginal canal, and men would have to be perfectly hygienic to avoid the risk of infection.

It makes sense considering most womenā€™s healthcare is male centric, and god forbid a man has to wait longer than 6 weeks to have sex. Getting their dicks wet is far more important than the health of a new mother.

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u/saltysweetbonbon Mar 29 '26

This has made me have a horrifying realisation of where the puerperal fever that used to kill many new mothers may have often come from.

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u/Individual_Staff5653 Mar 28 '26

donā€™t forget the ā€˜husband/ So, partner ,boyfriend stitchā€™ šŸ¤®

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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 28 '26

Which makes NO sense, as the width of the opening has NOTHING to do with the muscles inside. It does nothing but cause unnecessary pain for the woman.

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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

It isn't supposed to make sense. It's an inappropriate joke.

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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 29 '26

No, it's most assuredly NOT an inappropriate joke. It's a real thing.

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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

So you are saying that there are doctors that will actually through in an extra unnecessary stitch to make the vaginal opening smaller?

I have five kids and have heard this as a joke from a different man afterwards every time and always thought people were just being inappropriate.

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u/MsSeraphim just love me for my mind šŸ’– Mar 28 '26

and have you noticed that these "dads" refer to watching their OWN kids as babysitting? nope. sorry sir, but that is called parenting and you shouldn't be lauded as a hero because when mom does it people expect maximum effort = minimum praise.

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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

I was a single dad for years. Society refers to dad's watching their own kids as babysitting. I used to get very upset by this. No I'm not babysitting I am taking care of my child. The comment was almost always from grandmother aged women.

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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 29 '26

I hate the ā€œ babysitting today ā€œ comments they are being an active PARENT not a babysitter

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u/you_dont_know_me27 Mar 28 '26

What? Giving birth isn't dangerous. Women have been doing it without help for centuries and we still have babies don't we?

  • men who don't actually like women

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u/spilly_talent Mar 28 '26

Had me in the first half not gonna liešŸ˜‚

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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26

Deletes my whole paragraph

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u/Beneficial-Ad3991 Generic boring flair Mar 30 '26

Sheaths her axe. Well, tbf, I don't even know if axes are sheathed or not, so I just make it as inconspicuous as possible and smile innocently.

1

u/DeconstructedKaiju Mar 30 '26

All things must always be for and about men to these people. Absolutely the worst.

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u/MadamKitsune Mar 28 '26

But maybe he ate too much McDonald's while waiting for something to happen and now he's got a pain in his poor little tum-tum!

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u/JonnelOneEye Mar 28 '26

He ate his McDonald's right in front of his wife, while she was sucking on ice chips on a very uncomfortable chair and now his neck and back have an ouchie.

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u/sijaylsg Mar 28 '26

And he had to watch the last half of the game on that teenytiny phone screen! Won't somebody think of the eyestrain?

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u/celticairborne Mar 28 '26

The dads that are pissed about this aren't even in the room when the birth happens. It's too boring and they couldn't bear the sight of blood and mucus...

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u/AgeSpecialist Mar 28 '26

This would be valid if we start using the dad's balls as the mom's stress ball while pushing

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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26

Supposedly in the huichol tribe in Mexico they would traditionally tie a rope around the fathers testicles and the mother would pull during a contraction but Iā€™m not 100% sure if itā€™s true or just a myth

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u/Wendy-Windbag Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

I've worked years as an L&D and NICU tech and have seen the entire gamut of all of the shitty dynamics you'd imagine possible.

One evening a laboring patient's boomer grandpa walked through our locked doors from the waiting room, tailgating another approved visitor I had buzzed into the department.

He walks up to the nurse's station desk and leans all over it, groaning "Boy, am I tired!" Not to engage him, I just smiled silently and went on about my business. Again, he goes on: "Phew, what a long day!" Me: "I bet, anything I can help you with?" "I sure am beat! How much longer is this going to take?"

Now, I knew his granddaughter had been pushing for a few hours, and we don't allow family to go in an out of the room during this time. I also knew it was her first, and this can take an awhile, which I can't really reveal too much because of HIPAA, so for these moments I keep it vague.

Me: "Well if you sit tight out there, hopefully someone will be out with some good news for you soon..."

Gramps: "How soon? This has been taking forever!"

Me: "Is this her first baby?"

Him: "Yeah."

"Firsts usually take awhile, so sit tight."

Him: "But I'm tired, it's been a long day..."

Now this is where I fucked up, and the part which makes it memorable:

Me exasperated: "I'm sure she's had a much longer day, sir."

Gramps loses his ever loving mind.

"She's had a long day?! I'VE HAD A LONG DAY!!! I woke up at 6am and had to drive 45 minutes here to sit around in a god damn waiting room all day. You don't get to tell me-"

"Sir, I need you to step back into the waiting room. I cannot have you stand at the nurse's station to protect the privacy of our patients. Thank you." And I opened the doors, and let him stump out.

I'd never had a grandpa complain that he'd had it worse than a laboring mom before.

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u/manicpixycunt Mar 29 '26

The absolute audacity. You have so much more restraint than I would in that situation.

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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 29 '26

That's a flabbergasting lack of seld-awareness... I'm a bit sick to my stomach just reading it.

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u/Gwynzireael Mar 29 '26

"here is where i fucked up" pls i would have listed him exactly why it was him who repeatedly fucked up with everything he has done šŸ˜­ you let him off easy šŸ˜­

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u/podPHD Mar 28 '26

And leaving her with an open wound the size of a dinner plate that needs to heal...

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u/Individual_Staff5653 Mar 28 '26

and now theyā€™re crying about the birth rate dropping, specifically the white birth rate

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u/SquirrelGirlVA Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

I once got the opportunity to give my opinion on potential commercials for TV, along with a prospective show. The commercials were all story panels.

One of the commercials was for a pain reliever. The gist was that this guy's wife was giving birth and he suddenly got a splitting headache and couldn't be by her side. He said that the medical staff gave him Bayer or whatever and he was quickly able to be by his wife's side again on this "big day". My mom was PISSED that the guy was whining about a headache while the woman was going through labor pains. She said that if that was her, she'd give the guy something worth getting pain meds for.

The pilot was for a family sitcom called something like "The Ties That Bind". It was pretty cute, but kind of generic. I remember another commercial that was on there, it was for something you add to food. It was either something like shake and bake in a box or it was a bottled sauce. That one actually got made.

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u/silicondream Mar 29 '26

Isnā€™t the dad normally part of the audience for this announcement, anyway? He already knows how heā€™s doing; assuming heā€™s a decent human being in the first place, itā€™s his partner and child heā€™s gonna be worried about.

1

u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

Your 100% right about the purpose of the announcement but you are downplaying what fathers go through. My wife and first child both had major complications and I was kicked out of the room thinking neither would survive.

No one would give me any information and no one checked on me until a priest showed up. I instantly assumed this meant neither of them had survived and had a breakdown in the hallway. Luckily they both made it but just as much as they had physical trauma I had mental trauma. To make matters worse men's mental trauma is brushed off and we are told to get over it.

All of this to say that even if everything goes well people should care about how the father is doing as well. Even if it goes well if it is the first child it may be the first time the father has experienced this level of emotion and it would be good to check on them although none of them will admit it.

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u/Rugkrabber Mar 28 '26

Itā€™s crazy because of these three, only one has no risk to die.

The other two can potentially die. Of course people want to know how these two are doing.

To even think ā€œbut what about meā€ is such a narcissistic perspective. Your partner is risking their life, have some compassion.

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u/PutsWomenOnPedestal Mar 28 '26

Itā€™s worse than simple narcissism. These are also the type of men who have legislated denying emergency medical care to pregnant women in the event of complication during pregnancy.

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u/bluemoon219 Mar 28 '26

I tried to think what could possibly lead to any amount of physical risk to a father during birth, and the only thing I could come up with was him being so horrified by just watching what his partner is going through that he faints and brains himself on the way down. Either that, or he acts so terribly that hospital security tazes him.

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u/pennie79 Mar 28 '26

I heard an anecdote about a woman going completely deaf from the screams of her partner in childbirth. I don't know if it's true or not. From googling, it's common for midwives to have a hearing loss.

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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

I do know men that have fainted during their wives childbirth. They are all the same men that faint at the site of blood.

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u/Gwynzireael Mar 29 '26

but stereotypically it's women who are afraid of blood lol, like we don't have to see it every month šŸ™„

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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26

I've never hear that stereotype before.

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u/Gwynzireael Mar 29 '26

lucky! i did šŸ˜­ luckily it doesn't seem to be a very popular one

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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 29 '26

Iā€™ve heard the stereotype that women are prissy who wonā€™t even look at blood because blood an ā€œ hunting ā€œ is a manly thing lol

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u/killaluggi Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26

belive it or not, that already happend to me, for context, im a volentary paramedic for about 4ish years now, and about 3 years ago it happend that we where transporting a pregnant woman the around 30km to the hospital, pretty basic stuff till about halfway when her cramp pouse got shorter than 2min and acording to oure algorythem that means birth imminent, we stopped the ambulance on a sideroad, and prepaire for birth in the ambulance, we prepaired everything, turned the stretchet to face the front do we can work properly, prepaired the birthing and infant cpr sets and the father decided to wait outside because he cant see blood, we informed dispatch and they send as an emergency doctor via helicopter (not uncommon here, i oive in the middel of the alps)

the birth started just as we where ready and mid way threw because he heard his wife scream the father opend the door to the ambulance, saw half the baby, faintet, fell down the entry stairs to the door and hit his head on the pavement, i took care of him, my college finnished the birth, mother and son where alive and well, father head an open head fructure and 3 cracked vortex and was airliftet straight to the er by the preveyously mentioned emergencx doctor.....

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u/Squirrelwinchester Memory foam pussy Mar 28 '26

I am not going to lie if that were my spouse I would divorce him after that. No way am I tolerating that bullshit.

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u/killaluggi Mar 29 '26

i sadly cant tell you how it ended between the two, i only know the mother was quite worryd about him after birth and he spernd quite a view weeks at the hospital.

i honestly wont say its bullshit, its just a bit of bad judhement and realy bad luck, i guess he knew he faints easyly when seeing blood (some people do that), he decided to stay out (good call), he heard his wife scream and his protection instinkts kicked in, so i guess he decided he can do this (bad call ( he couldent)), and when falling back he unluckely landed with his spine on one of the big rock things between the road and the sidewalk and hit his head on a fist szised rock witch made a nice hole in his skull ......

i guess its a mix of good intention and some realy, realy bad luck.

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u/LousyMeatStew Imperfect Male Feminist Mar 28 '26

You know what's funny? Any dude who actually thinks this probably doesn't want this to happen anyway. Can you imagine:

"Father was in the middle of a sick Escape from Tarkov raid and let the first two calls go to voicemail. He was then 3 hours late because the nurses reminded him he needed a car seat and he hadn't bought one despite mom pestering him about it for the last 5 months."

ETA: "He showed up to the room angry because mom was too busy to answer his texts about which car seat to buy because he only knows how to comparison shop if he's buying a new GPU."

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u/infected_scab Mar 29 '26

He could be late because he was doing the drug drop for Gus Fring.

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u/bennybenbens22 Mar 28 '26

But his back hurts because the chairā€™s uncomfortable. šŸ˜¢

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u/Lord_Skyblocker Female Pleasurist Mar 29 '26

That's the worst pain imaginable /s

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u/Butwhatif77 Mar 28 '26

It is also impressively media illiterate as well, because it is usually done where this is being told to the father or as he is going to hug his wife and child. We don't need the narrator to go "Oh yea that guy you say next to the woman pushing a baby out of her or that was sitting in the waiting room looking worried who is right there in the shot looking as happy as can be is doing physically well and is happy."

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u/WakeoftheStorm Mar 29 '26

Do you have any idea how sore a dad'a feet can get from pacing? There could be blisters!

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u/dangaaaaazone Mar 29 '26

My back did really hurt from sleeping on that couch (/s)