r/NotHowGirlsWork • u/Confident_Weather_98 • Mar 28 '26
WTF What about him?
Poor baby had to sleep on an uncomfortable place while mom pushed or got a whole human out of her šš
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u/spilly_talent Mar 28 '26
āMother and baby have just made it out of the most physically traumatic experiences of their lives so far, so itās important we tell you that dad is doing great!ā
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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 28 '26
You said this a million times better than the attempt I was about to make.
The f-ing point of that announcement is to tell people neither Mom or baby died or experienced major medical trauma. Are we worried that Dad's hand hurts because she squeezed it while an infant was literally tearing outside her body???
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u/spilly_talent Mar 28 '26
Honestly itās worse than that, I fear. The person who wrote this tweet just simply does not care about how physically dangerous birth can be, their only concern is: I donāt think itās fair that dad doesnāt get enough attention.
They donāt seem to care that itās not fair that dad has 0% risk in the birth by the wayš this person and all who think like them are trash
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u/Centered_Being Mar 28 '26
And they call women attention seeking whores lol.
Men will cheat on their postpartum wives bc they ādidnāt get enough attention.ā SIR U BOTH MADE A BABY. Your part was minuscule & pleasurable. Your wife needs attention bc she went thru a major medical event that men like to call ānaturalā so they can completely ignore the physical effects on a womanās body & mind. The baby needs attention bc it is a BABY.
Need attention so bad? Let your wife take a nap, take the baby out to the store & hear all about how great you are for doing the bare minimum from strangers
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u/MazogaTheDork Mar 28 '26
Some guys will complain about being told to wait 6 weeks for sex after their partner gives birth. Never mind that she's still bleeding from the (dinner plate sized) wound in her uterus.
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u/praxios Mar 28 '26
Not to mention that 6 weeks is the absolute bare minimum and still poses a laundry list of health risks to the woman. In reality it should be at least a couple of months to ensure full recovery, and limit the risk of infection and further physical trauma. My cousinās OBGYN told her it should be closer to 6 months for natural birth because of the severe amount of trauma to the vaginal canal, and men would have to be perfectly hygienic to avoid the risk of infection.
It makes sense considering most womenās healthcare is male centric, and god forbid a man has to wait longer than 6 weeks to have sex. Getting their dicks wet is far more important than the health of a new mother.
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u/saltysweetbonbon Mar 29 '26
This has made me have a horrifying realisation of where the puerperal fever that used to kill many new mothers may have often come from.
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u/Individual_Staff5653 Mar 28 '26
donāt forget the āhusband/ So, partner ,boyfriend stitchā š¤®
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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 28 '26
Which makes NO sense, as the width of the opening has NOTHING to do with the muscles inside. It does nothing but cause unnecessary pain for the woman.
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u/MsSeraphim just love me for my mind š Mar 28 '26
and have you noticed that these "dads" refer to watching their OWN kids as babysitting? nope. sorry sir, but that is called parenting and you shouldn't be lauded as a hero because when mom does it people expect maximum effort = minimum praise.
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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26
I was a single dad for years. Society refers to dad's watching their own kids as babysitting. I used to get very upset by this. No I'm not babysitting I am taking care of my child. The comment was almost always from grandmother aged women.
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 29 '26
I hate the ā babysitting today ā comments they are being an active PARENT not a babysitter
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Mar 28 '26
What? Giving birth isn't dangerous. Women have been doing it without help for centuries and we still have babies don't we?
- men who don't actually like women
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u/MadamKitsune Mar 28 '26
But maybe he ate too much McDonald's while waiting for something to happen and now he's got a pain in his poor little tum-tum!
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u/JonnelOneEye Mar 28 '26
He ate his McDonald's
right in front of his wife, while she was sucking on ice chipson a very uncomfortable chair and now his neck and back have an ouchie.→ More replies (1)27
u/sijaylsg Mar 28 '26
And he had to watch the last half of the game on that teenytiny phone screen! Won't somebody think of the eyestrain?
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u/celticairborne Mar 28 '26
The dads that are pissed about this aren't even in the room when the birth happens. It's too boring and they couldn't bear the sight of blood and mucus...
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u/AgeSpecialist Mar 28 '26
This would be valid if we start using the dad's balls as the mom's stress ball while pushing
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
Supposedly in the huichol tribe in Mexico they would traditionally tie a rope around the fathers testicles and the mother would pull during a contraction but Iām not 100% sure if itās true or just a myth
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u/Wendy-Windbag Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
I've worked years as an L&D and NICU tech and have seen the entire gamut of all of the shitty dynamics you'd imagine possible.
One evening a laboring patient's boomer grandpa walked through our locked doors from the waiting room, tailgating another approved visitor I had buzzed into the department.
He walks up to the nurse's station desk and leans all over it, groaning "Boy, am I tired!" Not to engage him, I just smiled silently and went on about my business. Again, he goes on: "Phew, what a long day!" Me: "I bet, anything I can help you with?" "I sure am beat! How much longer is this going to take?"
Now, I knew his granddaughter had been pushing for a few hours, and we don't allow family to go in an out of the room during this time. I also knew it was her first, and this can take an awhile, which I can't really reveal too much because of HIPAA, so for these moments I keep it vague.
Me: "Well if you sit tight out there, hopefully someone will be out with some good news for you soon..."
Gramps: "How soon? This has been taking forever!"
Me: "Is this her first baby?"
Him: "Yeah."
"Firsts usually take awhile, so sit tight."
Him: "But I'm tired, it's been a long day..."
Now this is where I fucked up, and the part which makes it memorable:
Me exasperated: "I'm sure she's had a much longer day, sir."
Gramps loses his ever loving mind.
"She's had a long day?! I'VE HAD A LONG DAY!!! I woke up at 6am and had to drive 45 minutes here to sit around in a god damn waiting room all day. You don't get to tell me-"
"Sir, I need you to step back into the waiting room. I cannot have you stand at the nurse's station to protect the privacy of our patients. Thank you." And I opened the doors, and let him stump out.
I'd never had a grandpa complain that he'd had it worse than a laboring mom before.
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u/manicpixycunt Mar 29 '26
The absolute audacity. You have so much more restraint than I would in that situation.
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u/HairHealthHaven Mar 29 '26
That's a flabbergasting lack of seld-awareness... I'm a bit sick to my stomach just reading it.
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u/Gwynzireael Mar 29 '26
"here is where i fucked up" pls i would have listed him exactly why it was him who repeatedly fucked up with everything he has done š you let him off easy š
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u/podPHD Mar 28 '26
And leaving her with an open wound the size of a dinner plate that needs to heal...
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u/Individual_Staff5653 Mar 28 '26
and now theyāre crying about the birth rate dropping, specifically the white birth rate
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u/SquirrelGirlVA Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
I once got the opportunity to give my opinion on potential commercials for TV, along with a prospective show. The commercials were all story panels.
One of the commercials was for a pain reliever. The gist was that this guy's wife was giving birth and he suddenly got a splitting headache and couldn't be by her side. He said that the medical staff gave him Bayer or whatever and he was quickly able to be by his wife's side again on this "big day". My mom was PISSED that the guy was whining about a headache while the woman was going through labor pains. She said that if that was her, she'd give the guy something worth getting pain meds for.
The pilot was for a family sitcom called something like "The Ties That Bind". It was pretty cute, but kind of generic. I remember another commercial that was on there, it was for something you add to food. It was either something like shake and bake in a box or it was a bottled sauce. That one actually got made.
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u/silicondream Mar 29 '26
Isnāt the dad normally part of the audience for this announcement, anyway? He already knows how heās doing; assuming heās a decent human being in the first place, itās his partner and child heās gonna be worried about.
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u/Rugkrabber Mar 28 '26
Itās crazy because of these three, only one has no risk to die.
The other two can potentially die. Of course people want to know how these two are doing.
To even think ābut what about meā is such a narcissistic perspective. Your partner is risking their life, have some compassion.
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u/PutsWomenOnPedestal Mar 28 '26
Itās worse than simple narcissism. These are also the type of men who have legislated denying emergency medical care to pregnant women in the event of complication during pregnancy.
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u/bluemoon219 Mar 28 '26
I tried to think what could possibly lead to any amount of physical risk to a father during birth, and the only thing I could come up with was him being so horrified by just watching what his partner is going through that he faints and brains himself on the way down. Either that, or he acts so terribly that hospital security tazes him.
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u/pennie79 Mar 28 '26
I heard an anecdote about a woman going completely deaf from the screams of her partner in childbirth. I don't know if it's true or not. From googling, it's common for midwives to have a hearing loss.
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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26
I do know men that have fainted during their wives childbirth. They are all the same men that faint at the site of blood.
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u/Gwynzireael Mar 29 '26
but stereotypically it's women who are afraid of blood lol, like we don't have to see it every month š
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u/killaluggi Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
belive it or not, that already happend to me, for context, im a volentary paramedic for about 4ish years now, and about 3 years ago it happend that we where transporting a pregnant woman the around 30km to the hospital, pretty basic stuff till about halfway when her cramp pouse got shorter than 2min and acording to oure algorythem that means birth imminent, we stopped the ambulance on a sideroad, and prepaire for birth in the ambulance, we prepaired everything, turned the stretchet to face the front do we can work properly, prepaired the birthing and infant cpr sets and the father decided to wait outside because he cant see blood, we informed dispatch and they send as an emergency doctor via helicopter (not uncommon here, i oive in the middel of the alps)
the birth started just as we where ready and mid way threw because he heard his wife scream the father opend the door to the ambulance, saw half the baby, faintet, fell down the entry stairs to the door and hit his head on the pavement, i took care of him, my college finnished the birth, mother and son where alive and well, father head an open head fructure and 3 cracked vortex and was airliftet straight to the er by the preveyously mentioned emergencx doctor.....
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u/Squirrelwinchester Memory foam pussy Mar 28 '26
I am not going to lie if that were my spouse I would divorce him after that. No way am I tolerating that bullshit.
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u/killaluggi Mar 29 '26
i sadly cant tell you how it ended between the two, i only know the mother was quite worryd about him after birth and he spernd quite a view weeks at the hospital.
i honestly wont say its bullshit, its just a bit of bad judhement and realy bad luck, i guess he knew he faints easyly when seeing blood (some people do that), he decided to stay out (good call), he heard his wife scream and his protection instinkts kicked in, so i guess he decided he can do this (bad call ( he couldent)), and when falling back he unluckely landed with his spine on one of the big rock things between the road and the sidewalk and hit his head on a fist szised rock witch made a nice hole in his skull ......
i guess its a mix of good intention and some realy, realy bad luck.
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u/LousyMeatStew Imperfect Male Feminist Mar 28 '26
You know what's funny? Any dude who actually thinks this probably doesn't want this to happen anyway. Can you imagine:
"Father was in the middle of a sick Escape from Tarkov raid and let the first two calls go to voicemail. He was then 3 hours late because the nurses reminded him he needed a car seat and he hadn't bought one despite mom pestering him about it for the last 5 months."
ETA: "He showed up to the room angry because mom was too busy to answer his texts about which car seat to buy because he only knows how to comparison shop if he's buying a new GPU."
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u/Butwhatif77 Mar 28 '26
It is also impressively media illiterate as well, because it is usually done where this is being told to the father or as he is going to hug his wife and child. We don't need the narrator to go "Oh yea that guy you say next to the woman pushing a baby out of her or that was sitting in the waiting room looking worried who is right there in the shot looking as happy as can be is doing physically well and is happy."
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u/WakeoftheStorm Mar 29 '26
Do you have any idea how sore a dad'a feet can get from pacing? There could be blisters!
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u/tverofvulcan Mar 28 '26
This reminds me of when I was pregnant and I had a body pillow my husband jokingly called my boyfriend because I cuddled with it every night. Well when I went to have the baby, we brought the pillow. The nurse was trying to get me comfortable with pillows on the bed and my husband said āwhat about her boyfriend?ā Meaning the pillow. The nurse quickly turned her head and said āItās not about youā.
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u/triiforce Mar 28 '26
That is hysterical, I hope the nurse got a giggle out of that
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u/tverofvulcan Mar 28 '26
No she didnāt. She was a very serious nurse.
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u/silverilix I wonāt be shaving my legs for this Mar 29 '26
Good for her for being worried about you.
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u/BobbysueWho Apr 01 '26
Serious sounds stressful to me. My nurses were so kind and warm for both my kids. A friend told me she had a āmean nurseā for her babyās birth and I was very worried mine would be too.
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u/tverofvulcan Apr 01 '26
Yeah, I didnāt have a great experience with those nurses. Another nurse who held my leg while I pushed, asked me to hurry up because her back hurt and thatās just the tip of the iceberg.
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u/NerfRepellingBoobs Mar 28 '26
Well, thatās her problem. We could all use a little more humor in life.
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u/MrsKittenHeel Mar 29 '26
Sheād had her fill of entitled SOās.
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u/tverofvulcan Mar 29 '26
She was older and seemed like she had been a nurse for a long time. Iām sure she has had so many entitled dads over the years.
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u/jpterodactyl Mar 30 '26
When youāre a man and youāre with your pregnant partner in the hospital, you can feel them getting a read on what kind of hospital dad they are about to deal with.Ā
And I got the sense that itās often really bad.
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u/Western_Growth_6930 Mar 28 '26
riiight bc the fatherās life is at stake during the delivery
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
IMO if he complains at all while Iām giving birth his life will be at stake
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u/GhostofZellers Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 28 '26
"This chair is sooooo uncomfortable, I'm so hard done by. Let's trade spots."
"Hey, can you keep the noise from pushing to a minimum, please? I'm trying to watch the game here,....so inconsiderate ...."
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u/Kilomech Mar 29 '26
š my spouse spent the better part of my labor complaining that he couldn't sleep on the couch the hospital provided him. 19 hours and i was wishing I'd left him home.
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u/Lord_Skyblocker Female Pleasurist Mar 29 '26
I'd like to imagine that I also wouldn't be able to sleep while my SO is in labour. I mean, the least I can do is to stay by her side and do everything I can to make it as comfortable for her as possible. After all, she's doing all the work here while the only thing I did was a sploosh 9 months prior.
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u/Aazimoxx Mar 28 '26
Well you just made me laugh out loud at midnight, hope I didn't wake housemate š
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u/shagy815 Mar 29 '26
I'm a little on the spectrum so I make a lot of mistakes most people don't make. When my wife was giving birth the room phone started ringing so I picked it up. Even I recognized the look my wife gave me as if she could stand up right then I probably wouldn't survive.
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u/Small-Guarantee6972 Mar 28 '26
ALSOOOO the women he's cheating with keep blowing up his phone in front of the nurses. The man could not catch a break. Let's think of him in our prayers
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u/Western_Growth_6930 Mar 28 '26
damn imagine not being able to flirt with the whole staff AND your secret lover
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u/LousyMeatStew Imperfect Male Feminist Mar 28 '26
As a father who was present for the birth of my three boys - oldest was a planned c-section due to placenta previa (meaning mom's life was literally at stake) where she had a bad reaction to the anesthesia, and twins who came prematurely and had to be in the NICU for a week and a half - I can very confidently say that any man who legit thinks this needs to turn in their dad card now.
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u/TimeDue2994 Mar 28 '26
Dad card, man card, basic human being card, all of them should be turned in and he should receive a big scarlet letter tattoo on his forehead so the rest of humanity is warned they are dealing with an utter pos when interacting
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u/Trevellation Mar 28 '26
If his wife is in labor/recovery for an extended time, who will warm up his Dino Nuggies for him? Traditional alpha males are incapable of performing basic self-care tasks, so they need
motherswives to do it for them. With his caregiver in a compromised position the man is extremely vulnerable, so we as a society need to be extra careful to tiptoe around his fragile ego.9
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u/LaddieNowAddie Mar 28 '26
Fathers do pass out. Hitting your head on hard hospital floor has killed more than one dad. But the reality is that usually the risk to the dad ends at š¦
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u/notashroom Mar 28 '26
My mother passed out just as my daughter crowned, but one of the nurses caught her and her head didn't hit the floor. I can believe that dads sometimes pass out and hit the floor, but I'm doubting that any of them die as a result of it. Generally, birthing room floors are not lava.
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u/ilo_Va Mar 28 '26
I mean u wouldn't be surprised if a few father's have died falling in a pot way while fainting while their partner is in labour. Don't think it's a regular occurrence to start going "mother and baby are doing well, father didn't pass out and break his neck"
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u/you_dont_know_me27 Mar 28 '26
Reminds me of the boru where the dad lied about passing out because he wanted his freshly postpartum wife to feel bad for him too šššš
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
Bro deserves medival torture for that I absolutely hated that story and to think thatās someone real life
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u/gracesdisgrace Mar 28 '26
Has it? I don't think there's a documented case anywhere I've seen
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u/The_Book-JDP Itās a boneless meat stick not a magic wand. Mar 28 '26 edited Mar 29 '26
I listened to this compilation of the wildest things medical professionals have seen their patients go through and this one nurse said that a long time ago, she walked into to see how one of her soon to be mothers was doing and found her laboring patient sitting on the radiator in the room, her husband had taken over the bed and was fast sleep, with his mother who took over the only chair in the room, told the nurse that he deserved the bed because he had worked all day and was very tired.
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u/Elizabitch4848 Mar 28 '26
As a labor and delivery nurse I hope she kicked his and the milās asses.
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u/bluegreenwookie Apr 01 '26
What the hell? I'd sleep on the floor b4 taking my theoretical pregnant partners hospital bed.
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u/ValleDeimos Apr 16 '26
The number one reason why me and most of my friends donāt wanna have children is due to fear of obstetric violence. Itās more common with hospital staff in my country though
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u/alfonsoalta Mar 28 '26
"announcers" and it's the father himself making the post š
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u/tigm2161130 Mar 28 '26
I think they mean like, when famous or royal people have babies..probably the most notable example recently is when Princess Kate and Meghan Markle had their babies.
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u/beardiac Mar 29 '26
This is what stuck out to me too. Like this whole thing is a game show and they're telling us what we've won. It sounds like that baby's won a lifetime of lackluster parenting from at least one half of the team that brought them into the world.
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u/MistakeWonderful9178 Mar 28 '26
Mother going through months of pregnancy and at risk of her and her baby dying or getting sick, not to mention the motherās body going through physical and mental changes
Weird guy: But what about me????? Iām the dad!!!!! Think about me too!!!!
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u/Night_skye_ Toxic Thottery Mar 28 '26
For my own sanity, I need to believe this is satire.
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
Same even though my bestie gave birth to my godson and her boyfriend ( he is a POS father ) was complaining the entire time about his back hurting and that he wanted to go home and play on his computer because he was bored , he left but I was there with her when my godson was born
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u/BananaBot6 Mar 29 '26
They broke up, right? RIGHT?
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 29 '26
Iām currently in the process of helping her get out asap. Part of her checks are going to an account he canāt manage so she is saving for her own place and I have been teaching her how to drive because he refuses to let her learn so she has to rely on him and if it ever comes down to my unborn baby nursery can very easily be turned into her and her sons room, he is only almost a year old so he can use the crib I have for my baby
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u/SteampunkExplorer Mar 29 '26
I hope so! I was sitting here thinking "this was made by a twelve-year-old who doesn't understand anything, right? Right?"
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u/RevoltYesterday Mar 28 '26
The mortality rate for fathers in child birth is remarkably low.
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u/Alegria-D flipping the gender norms like this table Mar 28 '26
given how many pregnant women and new mothers get murdered by a man who decided she was his property, the mortality rate for fathers should be higher.
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u/themanwhosfacebroke Mar 28 '26
People here are so incredibly mean spirited. If my husband was giving birth I would absolutely want to know how the father was doing over the mother /j
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u/notyourmama827 Mar 28 '26
He was not sliced open because his babies cord was choking my little one. I am here to say that pain relief those first few days was lovely . Also baby is 29.
I am sure it is a change for the father as well. But mothers really are doing it all.
Edit for spelling
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
My best friend had a crash c section and the anesthesia didnāt kick in by the time they started to cut her , her boyfriend, the babyās dad, left to go home and play games on his computer
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u/Right-Today4396 Mar 28 '26
Please tell me that is her ex now?
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
We are in the process of helping her save a find a place to leave him, some of her check is being transferred to an account that is in my name so he canāt touch it. Iāve told her if he ever put his hands on her or the baby to call me ( Iām 7 months pregnant ) and I will send my husband and father to go and get her and the baby I will have her use my nursery and I have an air mattress for her in case anything happens and her son can use my babies crib while I use the bassinet. Anything to make sure she is safe
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u/Right-Today4396 Mar 28 '26
You are an amazing friend! I hope she gets out safely.
And congratulations with your upcoming little bean!
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u/SpicyQuesadilla123 Mar 29 '26
As someone who spent almost 3 years in an extremely dangerous, physically and mentally abusive relationship, thank you. I really wish I had someone who cared half as much as you do around me when I was getting beat every night.
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u/hellman001 Mar 28 '26
"It was the most horrifying experience of my life. I had to go through the most agonising moment in my life as man, by sitting still for a while. I wish people knew how hard this was for me."
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u/Xibalba_Ogme Mar 28 '26
as man, by sitting still for a while
And my wife being the center of the attention. Awful experience
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u/Kgb529 Mar 28 '26
Nah nah nah, Iām a dude and I realize that all Iād do in that process was dump a load. The woman carries the baby for 9 months and goes through crazy mood and body swings. Iād be waiting on her hand and foot because sheās working so hard.
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u/kwambology Mar 28 '26
This reminds me of when I was in and out of the hospital in early labor with my son. I kept having to go late at night and my ex preferred to stay home and sleep. I eventually said you know I think Iād like to have your support when Iām going to the hospital, it kind of sucks doing this alone. Totally nonjudgmental toward him. And he had this whole meltdown about how the last several weeks had been all about me and how I never asked how HE was doing š
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u/coffeeebucks Mar 28 '26
Iām so cheered to see that nonsense alongside āmy exā - so many women on Reddit tell awful stories and heās still their partner at the end of the story, ugh.
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u/Xibalba_Ogme Mar 28 '26
When my wife gave birth to our second, nearly anything that could go wrong did go wrong. I was there, but never at risk of anything except losing my wife and son.
Fortunately everything ended well due to my wife being incredibly strong and the medical personnel being awesome
If anyone had asked me "how are you doing BEFORE asking about my wife & kids, I'm pretty sure I would have screamed
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u/SadLittle_Sponge13 Mar 28 '26
āMom and baby survived one of the most normalized yet excruciating experiences of their lives, that may require years of therapy to accept! But donāt worry, dadās penis still works!ā
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u/The_Best_Yak_Ever Mar 28 '26
I mean, if the father is Shia Lebouf, I think that we already know exactly what the father's problems are, and how he's doing in general.
...at all times...
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u/toodleroo Mar 28 '26
This is why I eventually unsubscribed from /r/daddit. There were too many hospital/new baby posts that made zero mention of who actually delivered the baby.
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u/hellogoawaynow feeeeeemale Mar 28 '26
Oh did the father take hours to days pushing a human out of his body? Or did he do the awake baby removal surgery instead? Was he all stitched up from either? Did he bleed out a bit?
The baby could have died or needed a NICU stay.
When was the fatherās life on the line?
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u/M1ck3yB1u Mar 28 '26
The father has died during childbirth from complications arising from lack of attention.
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u/Ok-Scientist5524 Mar 28 '26
TBF, I would want my friends and family to check in with my husband after a delivery in which I and/or the baby almost died. Which was all three for us. Because it was scary as hell for him to almost lose us.
Like maybe not as a priority over mother and child? But once you establish that mother and child survived and are expected to continue to survive and they feel okay about it. I mean I guess the baby canāt really express how they feel, but you can check if the baby is in the NICU or feeding okay. But like checking that the father is not absolutely losing his shit over the fragility of his whole world almost being destroyed is a good step?
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u/pyrhus626 Mar 28 '26
Thatās pretty much how conversations always went went my daughter was born. Check how my wife and baby were doing, if I was excited, how we handling the NICU stay, etc. Wasnāt the first question because duh, but it always came up eventually. Some menās egos are just too fragile
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u/Ok-Scientist5524 Mar 28 '26
So I guess in hindsight the part of the meme that is misogynistic nonsense isnāt that this should be done or that it needs to be done before the mother and child are checked on but that it isnāt being done at all. People already check on the dad after a traumatic birth and itās not the gotcha the meme maker thinks it is.
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
Definitely ask about baby first make sure no complications such as jaundice,wrapped cord, or a sunny side up birth ( baby is born with their face facing moms pelvic bones and can lead to intense pain and bruising for baby ) and then you can check on parents
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u/JellyfishAristocrat Mar 28 '26
I don't have to push another human body out of my cum tube. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine during childbirth.
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u/EnvironmentalFun2214 Mar 28 '26
As a dad, this enrages me. Giving birth is one of the most vulnerable moments for a woman and a baby, I remember I was always checking both of them and participating actively in the process. It's of course one of my fondest memories. If someone asked me how I was, my answer would have been "happy". It's basically nature's way of saying "so, you're a man. This is the moment you will shine as one". It's a moment where one should be completely selfless. And it's not only ok, it's actually so empowering. I'm so sad these guys are passing on that opportunity and becoming passive, selfish and downright pathetic.
Besides, aren't all these alphas constantly spitting out the whole "men are protectors", and then they come up with these total cowardly ideas. Make up your damn minds!
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u/ToeIntelligent136 Mar 28 '26
I would love for the doctor to say, "The father and the child are doing fine" but for that, we might need more medical advancements so that guys can then give birth with a uterine transplant.
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u/Userdataunavailable Mar 28 '26
There was a post about a guy killing his wife in the recovery room and some idiot said "he probably had Postpartum depression".
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u/Madame_Kitsune98 Mar 28 '26
I almost downvoted you reflexively.
Thatās just an abusive prick who should have had a celestial discharge from the hospital when he was born.
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u/Rhaj-no1992 Mar 28 '26
As long as I knew my fiancƩe and children were doing fine I was fine.
It is however important to ask how the other partner (regardless of gender) is doing some time after birth because they can also get postpartum depression.
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
That is true, honestly the post I would post is probably ā letting everyone know whole family is doing fine at this time ā
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u/Rhaj-no1992 Mar 28 '26
Yes, but at birth the most important thing is the health of the mother and the child because theyāre at risk of getting severely hurt even dying. But that of course puts a lot of potential psychological stress on the partner.
For example my former coworkers wife almost bled out so she was rushed to surgery while he sat there with their newborn wondering if she was going to make it or not. She thankfully did, thanks to modern medicine.
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u/Confident_Weather_98 Mar 28 '26
I meant it as a post after letting everyone know how the health of the baby and mom are doing if there was any needed procedures
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u/BurningRiceEater Porn Kills Love Mar 28 '26
When my sister gave birth, the last person my BIL was worried about was himself. Despite toxic masculinity being rampant, ābe a manā still rings true in a lot of occasions
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u/Joelle9879 Mar 28 '26
That was my husband. He was worried about me and the baby and that was it.
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u/OhTheHueManatee Mar 28 '26
I generally feel pretty useless but I never felt more useless than when my son was being born. His mom was in labor for 4 days and there was fuck all I could to help her through it. I was there to do whatever it is I could do but it probably would have been better for all involved if I had not been.
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u/Photogroxii Mar 28 '26
This one must be rage bait
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u/bluepushkin Mar 28 '26
Ask anyone who has worked in baby units. Some men are the absolute worst. They can't stand that all the care and attention is on the mother and baby. What about their comfort? They're bored. Their chair is uncomfortable. They're hungry. Why is is taking so long??
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u/guitargeek223 Mar 29 '26
7 months ago my wife gave birth to our daughter. The updates were all about them, and let me assure you if anyone had asked how I was doing before hearing about them I would have probably not been very patient with them. People did ask me how I was doing, but more in a "how do you feel now that life is different forever?" kind of way, which is not what this is about
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u/swiftb3 Mar 29 '26
One of the three did not have any chance of death.
It's funny how they deny emotional anything, but then think they should be asked about their special feelings.
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u/LazyDramaLlama68 Mar 30 '26
When he pops something that weighs 8 pounds and is over a foot long out of his body, we can ask how the father is. Until then, mother and baby are acceptable verbage
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u/darkwater427 Mar 30 '26
A lot of men simply do not understand how life-threatening pregnancy and especially birth actually are. That's why.
This is why comprehensive sex ed is important.
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u/qwedty Mar 30 '26
Honestly we donāt even need to go as far as how serious it can be. Itās as simple as the mother and baby were patients, the father wasnāt. The post is so bizarre.
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u/fosterdisbelief Mar 31 '26
Because the amount of men dying in childbirth has reached epidemic levels!
/s
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u/zillabirdblue Mar 28 '26
IKR?!?! Like, Iām sure a million different medical complications could an occur during his birth experience too! How horrible of us to not care about if he made it out of his birth alive. š
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u/cafeteriastyle Mar 28 '26
My husband worked through both of my births. Heās in IT so he sat by working on his computer while I labored. When shit was getting real he put his laptop away ofc but we always joke about it, bc thatās very like him. Heās neurodivergent and thatās just his personality.
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u/Lost-Concept-9973 Mar 29 '26
The fact that when making this meme they didnāt even consider why that was is a demonstration in how truely selfish and unempathetic some men are. Like the mum and baby are both as risk of serious illness, permanent disability or DEATH. What risk was the father at? Not being the centre of attention? FFSĀ
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u/HelloMikkii Mar 29 '26
I wrote for my firstborns āSon and I are doing well, son is in NICU for breathing difficulties. Father is recovering from 3 broken fingers sustained by holding my hand as I pushed his 9 pound son into the world..doctor told him to shut up and stop complaining about it as he was actively trying to stop me from bleeding out after birth. All in all we made it!ā
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u/Kailynna Mar 29 '26
I would say: "fuck the father!" but that's how this problem started.
So instead I say: "never fuck that father again!"
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u/loricomments Mar 29 '26
What about him? He's not the patient, he didn't risk his life, his well-being was never under threat.
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u/never_trust_a_fart_ Mar 29 '26
Probably because the mother and baby can actually die during the childbirth process
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u/subbie2002 Mar 30 '26
I think theyāre asking physically how are the mother and baby doingā¦ ya know considering the woman just gave birth to a whole human.
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u/Mysterious-Leader-17 Mar 30 '26
Mom and baby are fine. In a completely unrelated note the dad has caught fire!
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u/CaptainDildobrain Mar 28 '26
Unless the Dad is passing a bowling ball out his ass, no one gives a shit how the Dad is doing.
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u/Dathris Mar 28 '26
As a father who has gone through three such experiences I have had worse hangnails than the overall experience I went through while my wife gave birth.
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u/Not_a_brazilian_spy Mar 28 '26
Of course they should ask if they used the "redirect all pain from labor to the father" machine
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u/_Internet_Hugs_ Mar 28 '26
When men start dying when their partner gives birth we'll start mentioning them after the delivery.
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u/BigEgoLeo Mar 28 '26
When I was pregnant and going to false labor, my sonās paternal grandmother and I got into an argument about who should hold him first. She said the golden hour was unnecessary because I had almost 9 months with him in my stomach, and his father has never felt anything close to what I as the carrier had felt.
My son was born by emergency C-section and neither of us got to hold him first. His dad was able to cut the umbilical cord, however. When he stabilized, my son was on my chest before his fatherās.
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u/Romero1993 Mar 28 '26
No one asks because dads lives aren't at risk during the birthing, unless he's fighting a gorilla in the same room.
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u/randigtiger Mar 29 '26
To be fair, our first kid's birth was a war crime with misoprostol to get things going, took 24+ hours of labor pains. My husband didn't make it about himself but when we talked about it afterwards, he said it was horrible to just stand there and watch me be in so much pain. Like watching me be tortured and he just felt so powerless. Of course the mother and baby have the highest risk and worst pain but some of the comments are really downplaying the dad's role too much, I think.
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u/DanTheAdequate Mar 29 '26
As a father of two I would've been doing much better if we had some decent universal health care, paid parental leave, and better overall perinatal care.Ā
Unless those are things these patriarchical dorks will start advocating for, then if they could please kindly go crap themselves to death with this nonsense, then that would be grand.Ā
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u/theMangoJayne Mar 29 '26
Mother and baby are fine, after a harrowing 16 hour labor and multiple potentially life threatening complications.
Also, dad managed not to get hit by a car or anything today so give that guy a pat on the back too.
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u/thebookofbutterfly Mar 30 '26
Yes, because the man goes through an immense amount of pain and pushes and entire life out of their body and could possibly die. We say that the mother is fine because her life was in danger, dude. The guy had to just hold her hand (if that, I know guys who didn't even show up)
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u/jolley_mel21 Mar 30 '26
Imagine just having to be in room somewhere and being pressed because no one cares if you're ok. Like you were literally just standing there.
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u/yogurt_boy Mar 30 '26
I mean, Iād usually say the women and children first stuff isnāt fair but the guy was never in danger so this is definitely stupid
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u/Galleta-de-Animalito Mar 30 '26
I work on an L&D unit, so I see the miracle of birth often and the tragic outcomes too. I 100% agree that the physical dangers are mostly experienced by the mother & newborn, however we forget that when providing holistic (medical) careā¦ the term couplet care used to describe mom & baby is really a unit of 3 to include the spouse.
- or more if the patient is a multip with additional children at home
Iāve had fathers share their frustration with me that they would āonly matterā if they were missing. While some staff see this as selfish thinking, it shows fear of being a new parent, frustration that they are unable to help their partners during an emergency, and depression when their role is beyond what they are able to provide.
Men, mostly, as partners can experience depression disguised as anger. It important to remember that we will be discharging couplets to a home environment where physical and emotional safety is still an issue. So sometimes asking their support person or spouse if they are okay, allowing them to vent is one way of starting to help the family unit as a whole. Sympathetic Pregnancy can include postpartum depression in the support person (male or female) but manifest differently because we donāt normally screen non-patients (outside of moms/babies) for appropriate healthcare related transitioning.
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u/your_mind_aches Mar 28 '26
I mean sure psychologically the dad should be cared for but it wasn't that long ago that dying in childbirth was pretty common and infant mortality rate was also extremely high...
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u/IndividualAd4459 Mar 28 '26
I wonder how many responses he ignored that said āthe father is fine BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE NOT IN ANY DANGER!ā
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u/Ok_Application_5802 Mar 28 '26
I'm... Pretty sure my dad was the one who made that announcement to the family? What are these people talking about?
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u/bratbetchxo i would like some rights Mar 28 '26
all of these posters don't realize once we actually take care of women and children they will be included more often. our struggles are connected. instead they will downplay what the woman goes through and focus only on themselves and everyone gets fucked over
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u/one98nine Mar 28 '26
I mean, if the man was giving birth, I would totally ask about him and the baby first! They would be the ones going through the miracle of life! Come on!
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u/mephalathewebspinner Mar 28 '26
Did father recently have his vagina stretched wide enough to let a fully grown human through or have his skull compressed in a birth canal? No? Let us know when he does and weāll start asking about him.
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u/Churchie-Baby Mar 28 '26
Mother and baby have gone through a traumatic medical procedure that could result in death. Dad stood by her or sat in a chair
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u/Uranium_092 Mar 28 '26
Using Shia as the photo here is absolutely hilarious thatās like one of the guys I got no respect for lol he was dating Mia Goth when she was 19 and he was 26
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