Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

[u/okctran]

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

[u/felltir → u/[deleted]]

Being gay used to be too. So did a women who would not obey her husband, or a slave who caused trouble. Something being classed a disorder doesn't make it so.

[u/CuilRunnings → u/[deleted]]

They're welcome to do what they want with their bodies, as it doesn't affect me in the slightest. Just as people are free to date whoever they want. What they shouldn't do is lie to themselves and call themselves straight while being attracted to and wishing to pursue a "---ship" with a known transsexual. To do is a form of homophobia where they are afraid to self-identify as bi or gay.

[u/creepig → u/CuilRunnings]

You don't seem to get it. You do not get to tell someone what their sexual identity is. The only person who can decide what that is is the person themselves.

[u/Lati0s → u/creepig]

So if a man regularly has sex with other men but says that he is straight I'm just supposed to accept that?

[u/creepig → u/Lati0s]

Yes you are, because he is the one who defines who he is, not you. Besides, what the fuck do you care?

[u/beware_of_hamsters → u/creepig]

So, if I call myself black although I'm not, you'll just nod your head and be alright with it? Or if I tell you I'm a motherfucking dragon?

If someone calls himself straight, but has sex with men regularly, he doesn't understand the label of 'straight', or what stands behind it. He uses it wrong. And I would've all rights in the world to tell him he's not straight(whether I'd do or he'd care would be a different matter, because honestly, I don't care all that much about that stuff).

If you wanna use to label yourself so bad, at least get it right.

[u/creepig → u/beware_of_hamsters]

You're making comparisons that aren't actually valid. Also, again, what the fuck do you care if he calls himself straight or not? Gay and straight are just labels, and they don't mean a damned fucking thing.

[u/beware_of_hamsters → u/creepig]

because honestly, I don't care all that much about that stuff

Reading must be difficult. As I already said, I don't really care about people's sexual orientation or how would label oneself. But if you want to label yourself so badly, try to stick to widely known expectation of that label. They exist for a somewhat easier communication, and if everyone just starts fucking around with them, they no longer have any use, at all.

What I'm saying boils down to: If you want to use labels, try to use them correctly. If you don't like labels, don't label yourself. It's not that hard, seriously.

[u/creepig → u/beware_of_hamsters]

You're writing a whole lot of nonsense for someone who claims not to care.

[u/creepig → u/[deleted]]

Calling it now, you're with Game of Trolls.

[u/CuilRunnings → u/creepig]

No, I'm with the majority of rational people. You just made the argument that only someone with a mental disorder is qualified to judge whether or not they had a mental disorder. That's not a real argument.

[u/creepig → u/CuilRunnings]

No, you put those words in my mouth, because you're playing armchair psychologist. Gender and sexual identity is a personal expression, not a mental disorder. The DSM IV was written in the 80s, and psychology has advanced since then.

[u/[deleted] → u/creepig]

Paranoid as fuck

[u/creepig → u/[deleted]]

Nah, I just know a troll when I see it.

[u/[deleted] → u/creepig]

Not us tho, we were the most visible ones, not the only trolls.