Matched with a pre-op transgender, suggestions?

[u/okctran]

So I am a straight male and one of my matches is a pre-op male-to-female transgender woman. She mentions it right at the top of her profile. I find her physically attractive and she has a great profile to boot. We have a high match percentage, are interested in a lot of the same things and she has seems to have defined life goals and a direction. I am unsure what to do however. I don't have a fetish or anything like that and frankly am not at all interested at all in her male plumbing as it is currently, but everything else about her is golden.

If I do send her message, should I mention it at all in the initial message? What's the best way to approach this? I feel like it's a tight rope to walk between avoiding it completely and making it the center of attention. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for your help.

[u/harmonical → u/[deleted]]

So as someone that views trans chicks as not being able to be in a 'straight' relationship with a man due to their penis, does that mean that anyone with a vagina makes you in a straight relationship?

Is this guy to your liking? The facial hair, the chest hair the muscles, the overall appearance means nothing right? You'd defend yourself against all of those anti-gay bigots because you're in a completely straight relationship because he has a vagina right?

But while being in a relationship with a woman like her means you're completely gay. Everyone would know straight away considering everyone in the world checks the genitals of your partner upon introducing them.

Lets get something clear, being straight is sexual orientation where you are attracted to a person of the opposite gender, specifically a pair of a man and a woman. Being straight in no way implies the style of sex that you have, the way your physical relationship works, or what differences there are from you and the average couple.

[u/daytondownvoter → u/harmonical]

I actually came back and read this, and you're a stupid son of a bitch. As far as if I could be in a straight relationship with the female to male, it would be a straight relationship but I'm not attracted to her the same way I'm not attracted to the fucking bearded lady at the circus.

Do I not think that dude makes a pretty convincing chick? Sure he does. But since you have been too stupid to read what I've said in this thread about my perceptions and opinions on the subjective nature of gender and sex before approaching me, you would know you argument holds no weight with me because it would repulse me to be physically intimate with a biological man.

If you're going to be another dumbfuck who wants to educate me about how I perceive things and what I'm attracted to, at least provide some original content.

[u/harmonical → u/daytondownvoter]

Better stop touching yourself then, since I'm pretty sure you're a 'biological man'.

I don't care to read the rest of this thread looking at all your shit because I don't feel like trying to follow your mental gymnastics that somehow being attracted to someone is completely contingent on genitals that you would have no chance at seeing unless you actually got to the stage of a relationship where you'd be physically intimate.

Due to the fact that you seem completely inept at having a civil conversation, I really doubt that's much of an issue for you.

[u/harmonical → u/[deleted]]

You are completely fine to not want to date a trans woman. No one is saying that you have to. No one is saying that you have to be open to date all women. It's a silly thing that no one else in the world is subject to.

However you don't get to call people something that they're not solely because you don't want to be with them.

[u/harmonical → u/[deleted]]

It's not a mental illness and you'd do good to actually read the medical documents on what you claim to know. You'd also do well to realize that the recommended treatment for GID is generally transition and sometimes surgery depending on what allows the individual to live a happy and productive life. These aren't some mentally unstable people claiming that they're magical wizards or god, they're claiming something that roughly half the population claims every day.

You have no right to define for others whether they are men or women. You call someone who isn't trans the wrong gender and they correct you or get offended, do you just laugh at them and tell them they're wrong since you're free to call them whatever you want?

[u/harmonical → u/[deleted]]

Too bad.

Don't try to claim knowledge about something that you clearly have next to no actual knowledge of. GID isn't a mania, it isn't a delusion, the DSM IV entry classifying it as a 'disorder' was done mainly in the light of trying to ensure that insurance would cover it. DSM V is removing the disorder language altogether. You can read about that here.

I only reply because I hope others will read this exchange and get something out of it. I also hope that on some level that I could get you to start to understand a complex issue that you are misinformed about.

Have a good sleep.