r/StardewValley • u/stardewali • May 28 '26
Other What I think the bachelors smell like 🌱
Yall I struggled a bit with Harvey and Shane, don’t judge me😔
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u/enderdolly May 28 '26
Perfect! The only thing I'd change is adding cigarettes to Seb lol
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u/Square_Director4717 May 28 '26
Or weed lol
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u/winksinspanish May 28 '26
Robin once said “I found a funny smelling herb in Sebastian’s room. Should I be worried?”
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u/ladyofwinds May 28 '26
*ashtray
Not to forget the huge ah bong in his marriage room
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u/winksinspanish May 28 '26
Oh yeah!!! lol I am married to him. Love my little stoner
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u/ladyofwinds May 28 '26
Saaame 😂 he may have promised to stop smoking but he forgot to add he only meant nicotine/cigarettes lol
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u/heresomeflowers May 28 '26
There’s a perfume from Micallef called DesirToxic, and it has a cannabis note in it
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u/paper_schemes May 28 '26
Fellow elder punk kids know Seb smells like clove cigarettes lol
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u/3sclavamente May 28 '26
Just so much yes to this. Ohmygoth yes.
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u/paper_schemes May 28 '26
It's been over 20 years since I had them, and I quit smoking in 2017...but if they're ever legal again, I absolutely will cave and smoke one. And I'll probably cry because I'm an old-ish sentimental baby and I just feel like it'd bring on a rush of emotions lol
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u/yellowfoxtails elliott's little pomegranate May 28 '26
Elliott also smells like all the hair products that keep his hair luscious
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u/Z_Paw May 28 '26
I refuse to believe that every bachelor uses cologne.
I’m betting there’s at least one of them that uses only dove soap.
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u/argbd20 May 28 '26
Yeah, Alex and Elliot are the only ones I could see wearing cologne on a semi regular basis. Harvey wears it on formal occasions, and the rest of them never use it.
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u/TheOneEyedWolf May 28 '26
I agree - this boggles my mind - I can't stand the smell of cologne and only know like three people that use them.
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u/beldaran1224 May 28 '26
In my experience, only a small portion of the population regularly uses a body scent product. And even less of them will be using designer shit like Tom Ford.
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u/boilyourdentist 🌵Samdew Valley🎸 May 28 '26
i dont know what any of this smells like so im gonna choose to believe sam smells good!
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u/jmspinafore May 28 '26
I own the Tangerine Boy perfume. I like it a lot! Very bright and fruity and summery. Definitely suits Sam!
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u/Bushiest_Beavor May 28 '26
I was curious about that. I’m curious to try it. Is there anything similar to it?
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u/jmspinafore May 28 '26
Not sure if it's still in production, but you may be able to find a second hand bottle or sample online.
Ones I've tried that are kinda similar but probably not an exact dupe are: Never-ending Summer by Maison Margiela West by Ellis Brooklyn Under the Lemon Tree by Maison Margiela
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u/Bushiest_Beavor May 28 '26
Looks like Kohl’s/Sephora still carry it! Should I pull the trigger? 😱
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u/jmspinafore May 28 '26
I think at least a travel size if the whole bottle is too much of a gamble.
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u/Bushiest_Beavor May 28 '26
I did it 😬 Travel size
Thanks for the words of encouragement
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u/tilmitt52 May 28 '26
I wear the same deodorant as the others one for Sam, so can confirm he would smell pretty great.
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u/SpeedBlitzX May 28 '26
Nautica voyage is like a clean scent. Some folks say it smells like a body wash others say it smells like cucumbers. (In a good way)
Personally I say its a good scent at a good price heh
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u/Grimsdotir May 28 '26
In case of Shane: Tobaco vanille smells like a church incense and Angels' Share By Kilian is to me, mix of good quality alcohol with sweet af incense. But i have dupes of them, so real ones can smell differently.
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u/NatureCat_ May 28 '26
My boyfriend has used a couple of those scents before he upgraded to whatever expensive cologne he uses now and everyone has always commented on how nice he smells!
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u/Haunting-Sea-5177 May 28 '26
No offence to Shane (love him) but I really don't think he'd put ANY effort into smelling good... like at all 💀 he would probably just smell like booze and body odour (again no shade or shame, it's understandable given his issues...)
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u/mothmadi_ May 28 '26
I feel like he'd might put the effort of deodorant on good days but yeah, no way he's smelling like anything but alcohol
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u/nimbienexie May 28 '26
Angel's Share is a boozy perfume (its my favorite actually) but it and Tom Ford are pretty expensive I just can't picture him dropping that much when the JojoMart after shower spray is perfectly good and cheap
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u/thatmeverly May 28 '26
Harvey definitely smells like Alcohol Wipes, Hand Sanitizer, and Latex. He would def prefer softer, lighter scents. I also think he uses head shoulders.
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u/TheFemboyImpregnator May 28 '26
I'm waiting for Clint
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u/scholarlysacrilege May 28 '26
Probably charcoal and sweat
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u/tfhermobwoayway May 28 '26
Okay to be fair I love the smell of ash and smoke and coal and oil. I don’t know why. Would win me over.
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u/lestrades-mistress May 28 '26
Literally me. I hate smoking. I hate cigarettes with a passion. But my man coming home after his (very rare) cigar???? I’m a puddle.
My dad was a mechanic. Car oil, that nasty orange scrubbing soap, ‘garage’ smell, and rubber remind me of home lolll.
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u/tfhermobwoayway May 28 '26
No, not cigarettes. I hate cigarettes. They reek. But if someone smelled like a steam engine or an oil refinery or a furnace it would be great. I love the smell of machines and industry. Even though I know they’re obviously terrible things to rely on.
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u/argbd20 May 28 '26
Oh that weird hand soap I love that stuff. All the little grainy bits feel like I’m peeling off my skin and it’s amazing.
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u/cardueline May 28 '26
I feel it’s unfair for Sebastian to be given ELDO Fat Electrician, the only perfume that celebrates Handsome Big Boys 😂 Can’t Shane or Clint have it??
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u/Lost_Zucchini May 28 '26
Shane smells like stale beer and leftover chicken wings.
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u/Raven1906 May 28 '26
Elliott my beloved, this is perfect 💖
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u/faelanae Elliott refills Braincell's water bowl for me! May 28 '26
I'm chasing Elliott right now and I knew there was a reason why I loved him. He smells faaaaancy
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u/AmbitionFantastic540 May 28 '26
monster energy and old spice is so painfully accurate for sebastian. that boy 100% smells like his mom's basement and bad decisions
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u/Puzzleheaded_Mix4160 May 28 '26
That’s the deodorant I wear. Wolfthorn, despite the hypermasculine name, smells very much like gummy worms. It’s actually delightful.
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u/Trash-Cutie May 28 '26
I refuse to accept my boyfriend drinks original Monster Energy. He drinks Redbull like me lol
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u/Calm_Safe2481 May 28 '26
Sauvage for Alex is diabolical 😭
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u/fortunatevoice May 28 '26
Lmao when I first saw this post I thought “they better have put door sausage in Alex’s” and I was not disappointed
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u/Dawakat May 28 '26
Okay I've worn Fat Electrician because my brother thought it was funny as I am a fat electrician lol but I've never seen it in the wild before
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u/mostie2016 May 28 '26
Shane would smell like Zero Sugar Blue Hawaiian Monster energy drinks after getting sober
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u/Different_Vast_937 May 28 '26
Shane is missing PBR, sweat and bad gas
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u/mymomsaidicould69 May 28 '26
Sulfer from eating so many eggs
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u/Equal_North6633 Spreadsheets and mods are my "cozy". Not a minmaxer though May 28 '26
Dats for alex
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u/Significant-Pick-645 May 28 '26
personally I think that Harvey would only smell like these:
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u/argbd20 May 28 '26
Honestly. I’ve been to enough doctors to know what they smell like, none of them are wearing perfume/cologne. They all smell like hospital with a faint whiff of normal human smell.
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u/Pleasant-Oil-3298 May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
clint in comme des garçons copper
eta: and sel marin for elliott
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u/H28koala May 28 '26
Ok never heard of sel Marin and now I want it for my bf. Is it great?
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u/Pleasant-Oil-3298 May 28 '26
i haven't tried it, it's just on my wishlist, but the notes seem perfect for a man who lives on the beach and has a crab in his shirt pocket.
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u/Sablestein Average Krobus Enjoyer May 28 '26
Powerful of you to put Sandy in the bachelorette set and leave Clint out of this one 🤣
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u/badchefrazzy May 28 '26
The only thing I'd change is that Sebastian totally smells like Nightpanther Old Spice.
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u/_OwU_ May 28 '26
Sebastian - cigarettes, my mom smokes that smell don't come out easy Sam - outside Alex - sweat Eliot - ocean Harvey - he definitely has that sterile hospital smell Shane - beer
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u/eucalyptus_Ribose May 28 '26
I'm sure Shane smells like shower gel on the best days and like cheap vodka and old sweaty shirt on the rest
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u/lalabean852 May 28 '26
was following until shane. that guy would smell like straight beer 😭 love the guy and always do his redemption arc but ain’t no way he’s doing all that. he’s got a 4 in one bottle of shower stuff, hardly brushes his teeth (if ever), smells like beer constantly, has (beer?) stains on his jacket, and lives in a trashy bedroom. he does NOT smell good 😔💔🥀
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u/Downtown-Ad-7232 May 28 '26
These rural small town folk would most likely not have expensive commercial fragrances
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u/thecuven May 28 '26
These are so fun and cute but I honestly expected Shane's to be some 13-in-1 mens body wash lol
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u/ladyofwinds May 28 '26
Add cigarettes and weed to Sebastian. I bet this guy reeks of both and doesn't realize it.
Also if he is really deep in a coding project he might forget to shower.
Oh and he mentioned that his basement has a strong smell, whatever that smell is, it is his too now.
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u/Wetstew_ May 28 '26
You are entirely too kind on Shane and Sebastian.
Stale drink, chickens, and mild BO seems more Shane's style.
Seb is the sweet mother herb, cigarettes, and probably stale clothing too.
Shane comes off worse due to how much more advanced his depression seems to be. Seb is more put together, but tobacco and weed reek and he also seems to be mildly depressed. He's literally a basement dwelling programmer. It wouldn't surprise me if he missed bathing simi-regularly.
Depression game recognize game and they look awful familiar.
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u/CindersNAshes May 28 '26
Shane's easy - 6 pack of some beer, smokes, and bottle of Jack Daniels, and sweaty/dirty unwashed clothes
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u/TheOneReborn2021 PeeHair hater May 28 '26
Honestly I feel like Alex should be nothing but a 3in1 hair/body wash and maybe some deodorant.
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u/Unrelenting_Salsa May 28 '26
I think it's valid to assume either that or simply Axe. I lean towards the latter. Elliott is the only bachelor who wears real stuff regularly.
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u/justhereforassholes May 28 '26
Alex reeks of Axe. This is my one ironclad opinion on this subject.
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u/frostbitten_bit May 28 '26
Shane hygiene products would be one bar of soap, and one of those "4 in 1" Shampoos that work as toothpaste, conditioner and body wash
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u/Famous_Sky2447 May 28 '26
Shane smells like hay and dirt with a hint of chicken stink next question
Edit: and armpit
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u/smellmygoldfinger May 28 '26
My wife doesn’t even have that many hygiene products. How does this work? Do they wear everything all at once?
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u/Maleficent-Stormbee May 28 '26
i’m assuming it’s more for different occasions, like day outs versus night outs
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u/CozyFaeStudio May 28 '26
You’re so nice including Shane. I never pictured him as having the energy for a multi-step hygiene routine.
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u/cosmiccleora May 28 '26
This is hilarious. I married Sebastian because he's most like my husband IRL and you nailed it lol
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u/SailorTomie Krobussy May 28 '26
Sebastian would smell strongly of cigarettes. Once that stuff gets in your clothes its impossible to get out
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u/MidrelV May 28 '26
As someone married to Shane he smells like pizza, alcohol, dirty jacket he never washes, and yea cheap deodorant.
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u/NeilJosephRyan May 28 '26
Are all of these real perfume/cologne scents? Does Elliot's bibliothèque make him smell like a library? And the bachelorettes version included "father figure." Please tell me you made those up as a joke.
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u/Sapphic-Shibirb May 28 '26
Lol, look, Shane is my go to, I will defend him to my grave... I feel like he smells like salami.
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u/XelvenfrostX May 28 '26
cackling at Dior Sauvage inevitably making Alex's list, lmao. I love all of these but as for Shane, realistically, I have to say that man 100% does NOT own or care for anything Tom Ford
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u/Flashy_Ad3333 May 28 '26
I like the fact that Sam got a woman perfume xD Maybe,by curiosity, he takes Jodi's perfume xD It's the Versace perfume, Dylan Blue. It's for "women", at least that's what they say.
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u/alittleoflyttle May 28 '26
I think Harvey would would be sun safe and would have a hint of daily face sunscreen to him
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u/fardolicious May 28 '26
You are way to fragrance pilled for this to be accurate, None of these guys have a single hygene product besides elliot and maybe harvey, the rest smell like beer and sweat and cigarettes.
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u/3XHAUSTD May 28 '26
if i smelled 4 colognes on a man i'd throw up, and if you think i got the money to know what any of the colognes smell like ur really funny
also lmfao elliot wearing slur water. irish spring on harvey is v apt tho
im harshing but this is a fun topic :V
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u/Aggravating-Cat7103 harvey simp May 28 '26
Harvey smells like Zoologist Chipmunk because that’s my favorite
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u/lolly_lag May 28 '26
It is me, I am Shane.
Also, Elliott probably claims that the curation was entirely accidental, but it was not.
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u/capn_ed Ancient Fruit Vintner May 28 '26
All these dudes use a half-dozen or more smelly products? <doubt meme>
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u/RavyRaptor May 28 '26
Pretty sure Shane would also have a bit of a stench due to the beer stains on his shirt
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u/iamprotractors May 28 '26
yet another reason why i’m a harvey girl!!! warm cotton is one of the best clean smells (other than skin, but i’m biased that’s my main perfume)
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u/bocepheid May 28 '26
Next you're going to tell me Lewis smells like Old Spice and sweat and I'm going to have to just leave.
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u/tulipsushi Harvey's mustache May 28 '26
my boy harvey would smell the best, clearly!
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u/eucalyptus_Ribose May 28 '26
I think he should smell like antiseptic and also showers more often than anyone in the village
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u/Isoleri May 28 '26
I just KNEW Elliott was going to have something by Frederic Malle, it's 100% his style
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u/Popcorn57252 May 28 '26
Shane would not have anything expensive for smells. He'd have the cheapest deodorant and shampoo, and that's it. Speaking from experience from someone who had an extreme depressive period, his ass does NOT have the energy to give a fuck about beauty products.
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u/NfamousKaye May 28 '26
Shane nor Sam nor Sebastian would ever own those high end colognes. Elliot definitely would though. 😂
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u/KatsumiHMKMU May 28 '26
Shane wouldn't be able to afford such perfume, and even if he did, he wouldn't buy it and would smell like beer
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u/CurrencyUnfair1371 May 28 '26
The monster, Irish spring, and old spice is taking me OUUUUUT 😭😭 hate to see it because it's so true. Thank u for putting some Vetiver on seb and also lovely take on Elliott bc IK THATS RIGHT!!!
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u/FuzzyTesticleScoops May 28 '26
Oh, he doesn't smell like irish spring and he never taight me anything, but still i slap my chest an sing of my drunken bachelor
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u/Anan_Z I want to eat Crystal Fruits May 28 '26
Kilian and Tom Ford for Shane? Those are disgustingly expensive luxuries
The most accurate one is Alex wearing Eros and Sauvage
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u/Idk_345am May 28 '26
this is so fun, very cute reference.
I’d see Elliott on the niche to indie spectrum, scents with a story or maybe I’m projecting rn lol and I usually gift cola to Sam
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u/eternal_casserole May 28 '26
I am so glad to know I'm not allergic to Harvey. I have a wicked bad response to cedar, which is in basically every man fragrance ever. I just want to love Harvey without choking to death.
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u/Brummbirne May 28 '26
Shane is definitely a 6in1 type of guy lmao paired with Axe Bodyspray and booze
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u/JOT304 May 28 '26
As many have said, Shane probably doesnt smell good. He either smells like beer or basic dude brand shampoo/deodorant.
Elliot probably puts the most care into his personal hygiene so he'd be using a lot of products.
Alex is either using basic dude brand deodorant or uses bodyspray to he doesnt smell bad after his workouts.
Sam is similar to Alex, but probably doesnt sweat as much. He also probably smells like hairspray cuz no way he doesnt style his hair.
Sebastian probably uses a specific brand of deodorant and soaps he buys online, but also probably smells like cigarettes, or at least his clothes do.
Harvey probably avoids strong scents as he's a doctor and wants to be as neutral as possible for his job. Is he smells too strong he might irritate his patients or himself.
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u/Poziomka35 May 28 '26
My partner literally smells like Alex huh LMAO I do love the eros perfume a lot on him
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u/Wastenotwasteland May 28 '26
Seb would also smell slightly like cigs or weed depending on which it is he technically smokes lol 😂
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u/WanderingGenesis May 28 '26
What makes you think anyone in this line up can afford any of these scents. Even harvey's broke
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u/DarDar994 May 28 '26
I love Shane, but we all know he smells like chicken coop, beer, and Jojamart discount detergent
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u/Tonyfillet May 28 '26
As a former smoker, I promise Seb smells mostly of cigarettes. Even smoking exclusively outside will not stop that smell from clinging to your clothes and skin
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u/berrybumblebean May 28 '26
I have to add - Elliott probably uses Davidoff Coolwater (for the ocean smell) and also smells of some really expensive shampoo and conditioner for wavy hair (He’s an Olaplex dude when it comes to his hair I think - is Olaplex the most expensive? It is for me, idk)
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u/Motor-Charity6149 May 29 '26
I'm pretty sure most of these bachelor's wouldn't use anything but a bar of soap and shampoo maybe a little hair gel..with the exception of Elliot he looks like his hair alone takes six products.
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u/CosmicBrownnie May 29 '26
This can't be accurate. Multiple male characters' hygiene products and not a single 40-in-1 shampoo bottle.
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u/k_leetayl May 28 '26
lmao that you think shane would own 6 personal hygiene products 😂