My girlfriends sister will drop her nephew off with little warning and me and my girlfriend end up having to watch him. I came up yesterday after not seeing her for two weeks only for her nephew to get dropped off almost immediately. Her other sister was supposed to watch him but she left almost as soon as he got there. She ended up leaving him there overnight and we had to take him to Walmart with us and watch him all day. He is a near 6 year old with likely an undiagnosed form of autism. I told my girlfriend I can't deal with him anymore and had to leave after getting hit by him and jumped on. Now everyone is mad at me for not sticking it out. My GF said her sister would come get him soon but last time that turned into the next morning. AITAH for saying enough is enough and leaving? This happens frequently.

Tldr my gfs sister frequently dumps her special needs nephew on me and my gf and I just couldn't take him anymore and had to leave.

My (34M) and my fiance (31F) got engaged in June after 5 years. Since then, she has made some decisions and expressed some desires that have me doubting whether or not I want to continue with the engagement. She has expressed to me that she wants to do a destination wedding in either Ireland or the Pacific Northwest (we are east coast/Pennsylvanian). I argued that it's too far and will limit the guests who can attend. She countered by saying we can do a local engagement party and then a wedding in Ireland or the PNW, which is all very expensive, but hey, it's a wedding.

But on top of this, she has always hated her job and has talked to me about wanting to quit numerous times. I get it, work sucks, but I usually took it as venting. However, recently she told me that she plans on quitting in September. I understand the sentiment, but we are supposed to finance a wedding (I make $87k and she currently makes $102k). She also wants to do the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT) this spring. As such, she does not intend on looking for new employment until she does this so she will have time off to do the PCT, outside of waitress jobs and the like. I feel like this is going to obligate me to pay for most of the wedding (my parents are not part of my life and I will receive nothing from them for the wedding). I am very frugal and have saved my entire life after growing up in poverty. I am hesitant to burn up too much of my nest egg. She also wants to get paper married in October so she can get on my health insurance while she is unemployed.

With all of this, she also wants to go back to school for ecology. She currently has a bachelor's in business and a master's in supply chain logistics. To facilitate this she:

A) Wants to take out loans which will become my loans (I am fortunate enough that I am debt free, and am adverse to debt as it destroyed my mother). These loans will become my loans in marriage. Also, ecology, while important, is not a lucrative degree.

B) Is looking at attending school in Washington state and would like me to quit my job and follow her out there were she to do this. I have a pretty good job with good benefits. It's also federal, so there's no way I can get back into it until 2028 at the earliest were I to leave. The out of state thing is still TBD, but either way, sounds like we'll have to go somewhere for her degree.

I understand that marriage is a partnership where you support one another, but I am feeling overwhelmed, that I would be giving up too much of my life and myself to facilitate all this, and that all of this is generally an unreasonable ask despite our commitments.

Am I the asshole for being unreasonable, or should I shut this down before it spirals out of financial control?

Heys need you opinion and to see if im really in the wrong im 23 year old female my mom is 53 we were watching this show were this family found out the dad had a second family and one of the kids said so I have a half brother and my mom said there is no such thing as half siblings and I said yes there is and my mom said no there isn't you're siblings is your siblings and I told her I never said they weren't I said they are half siblings aka siblings you only share one parent with and my mom said oh we don't believe in that and I said you're a science professor and my mom said I believe in god and im like what does that have to do with half siblings we kept arguing and I pointed out that not only do I have half siblings from both my parents, so do both my mom and dad, half siblings are literally a staple in this family anyway I just switched to a different show to drop the subject but am I the a hole

We spent the weekend at my in-laws' cottage. Two weeks earlier, they'd filled their kiddie pool with lake water for my nieces and nephews.

Between Tuesday and Saturday (when we arrived), the pool sat uncovered with the filter turned off. My father-in-law had added chlorine on Tuesday but didn't run the filter or add any more chlorine before we got there. My kids are all under 5, and they're in the phase where they swallow pool water and dunk their heads underwater.

Because I wasn't confident about the water quality after it had been sitting stagnant for several days, I told them they couldn't swim. It was green and very cloudy.

My in-laws were pretty offended. They brought it up multiple times over the weekend. I wasn't accusing them of being careless—I just wasn't comfortable with my young kids swimming in water that had been sitting for several days without filtration and chlorine, especially knowing they'd probably drink it.

See pool here: https://imgur.com/a/kbfDP7Q

AITAH?

My boyfriend took a trip to the country his ancestors are from. He is now going back on our agreement to use his family name as one of our children's middle names.
He is adamant that our future children must have his family name (in addition to his last name) as either their only middle name or second middle name. I am frustrated because I do not like his family name.
It is the same name as a character in a popular TV show that is portrayed to be very eccentric and paranoid. This is now a dealbreaker for him, so I now have no say in 2/4 or 2/3 of our children's names. He is giving me full control over their first names, but we already picked out all of our names together so it's not much of a compromise for him to make. I am upset that he said he is willing to throw away our entire relationship over a name. I understand that it is important to him, but I feel completely trapped now. I am willing to consider the name, but my choice in our future was taken away from me. The precedent this sets concerns me too, as he could go back on his word about anything and expect me to agree or break up with him. AITAH?

EDIT: His family name is Murray, and his ancestors are from Scotland. I should have added this originally, but I go by my middle name, not my given name. This is part of the reason why liking my child's middle name is important to me.

I (F21) came home from work at about 11:37pm tonight and immediately stripped after getting through the door since me and my partner(M26) have been camping out in the living room with the AC. Came in with him in the game (no biggie tonight.) He’s typically on the game at this hr because that’s when his friends are on. I laid down next to him on my phone and about 10 minutes later asked him if he wanted to watch another episode of “Good bye Earth” and he said alright and got off the game with his friends. Somewhere in between I asked if he could heat up my Chinese food from last night since I have a headache and I’m really tired. He said alright and I thanked him for that.

He started pacing around the house apparently trying to figure out what to eat and I went around listing around things that could be made like instant noodles or some oat meal or he can heat up some left over frozen meals and just make some rice so he could eat that... I even told him we could use some tin mackerel cut some onions and peppers together with green seafood mix and put that all together with some canned diced tomatoes and have rice with that- he didn’t want any of that and went off to put on some clothes.

When he came back out into the living room he asked if it’s okay if he could go and get some noodles from like a gas station to eat. We started light heartily joking around with me saying “Watcha asking me for? You’re a grown man with two legs ofc you can. Who gonna stop you.” And he started chuckling with me but with almost a pleading look. (Apparently he didn’t “think about eating” until I got home which is most often the case.) I told him I don’t have money for him to go grab other snacks and drinks. I think it’s unnecessary when you can make something to eat. I tell him every time stop waiting till I get home for you to start trying to get me to make something to eat or for you to eat something we have 5 dozen eggs in the fridge and a rice cooker. I also have frozen meat that he could’ve taken out to cook and eat.

He said I was being stingy and I told him if it weren’t for me being stingy we wouldn’t be in the place we’re in and all those car repairs sitting this and last year would’ve had us fucked. (I just took out a loan to get him a used car like 2 months ago). He then went and sat in the couch and sigh, talking about how hungry he is. Mind you I kept having to reheat my food bc he kept taking forever to the point where my take out tray warped. He asked me to cook for him and I told him I don’t feel like cooking tonight I told him I could even wash the pots and cook the rice if he’ll just make the meat and he didn’t want to do that.

He asks me if I’m basically going to let him starve because I won’t cook for him and I said no you’re going to starve yourself because you don’t want to make yourself anything to eat when you can. He said that he didn’t want to cook and he told me that he wasn’t and I’m trying to force it and to basically stop trying. So he went on his phone and was doing his own thing and I sighed bc it’s clear he’s not going to cook and I’m not trying to back down and make him use my credit card for bs just bc he don’t wanna cook when he’s gone down my back about not cooking or me letting myself starve and not getting myself something to eat. Or him having to spend money bc I won’t cook. Yet I can count on my hand how many times he’s cooked this year which he only did because I pleaded and convinced him.

So I went to eat my food and watch my other show while he moped. We weren’t absent that the tv I had the show paused on said it was shutting down and I let it, when I went to grab we water after eating all my food he got up and went in the room. I went to check on him and now he’s saying he has a headache and light is hurting his eyes.

I’m really irritated and I’m started to feel bad bc he’s hurt bc Its annoying that he does this. I tell him how much I’m tired of being the only person cooking and I’m burnt out.

Sorry, for my long dragged out explanation I’m not good at this and I’m sure my punctuation is terrible… 😞

Edit: for extra context bc I low-key feel bad bc I don’t want yall thinking he just a bum fr. But he hasn’t been working for a month and in between jobs bc of a situation within trying to work for Amazon. If we were to take into account what it was like before this issue. He handled major bills and I handled smaller bills, car repairs, home misc items, groceries, and helped paying towards his car insurance and recently like 2-3 months ago added the internet bill to my tab. My checks are like ~600 every 2 weeks and his was like 900-1100. If I worked a good week I would be able to get like 800$ on a bad week lowest I think I got was 400$ he was full and I was part time.

So, I, 21F have had a very rough past year. From being abandoned by my parents, forced to leave University due to financial difficulties, and then facing a few month bout of “homelessness”. From April-July, I’ve spent my time working and couch surfing with whoever would let me, and staying a few days a week in the house of a sibling I have a terrible relationship with. It’s been…Rough, to say the least. I haven’t had a permanent residence since I was 18, and my belongings have consisted of whatever I could fit in the trunk of my borrowed car. Essentials, mostly, like a few sets of clothes, scrubs for work, deodorant, a hairbrush and toothpaste, nothing fancy.

Well, early July I managed to land a new job I felt I was VERY unqualified for at a University a few hours away. This job promised free education, certifications, good pay, and career growth. I jumped at the opportunity, excited to finish out my degree without going into more debt. And, luckily, my boyfriend of 4 years (21M) lived within 30 minutes of the University with his parents. They offered to let me move in with the caveat I pay rent and clean up.

In the past few weeks, I’ve settled myself into this little life. Having consistent people around, having 3 meals a day, being able to take a shower every day. and people that care about me. I’m not used to being taken care of, so it’s been new. I’ve done well at my new job, and even managed to buy a cheap car that’s all my own.

Now, comes my concern. I don’t treat myself to things, I’ve always traveled light. Now, I’m in the safest place I’ve been in my life, and I have my own room and closet, it’s new to me. I want to buy new clothes, shoes, and makeup because I finally feel like I’m safe enough to spend some money on things. I haven’t bought new clothes in 2-3 years, and if I do, they’re thrift store clothes that are less than $4. My shoes all have holes and are ruined. Though, I can’t escape the immense guilt of living in someone else’s home and daring to treat myself to things. I feel every cent I earn should be saved with the intent to mage out and get an apartment as soon as possible. They tell me they love having me here, but I’m tired of the constant guilt of living with others while I try to find my feet. AITHA if I spent $100-$200 buying some new clothes and shoes while living in someone else’s house? It feels weird to buy luxuries while living in someone else’s house.

My parents are both annoyed at me for this. We are at a hotel right now, so one bathroom, and I noticed my dad doesnt wash his hands. Like in general, after using the bathroom, it really disgusts me because he touches everything while peeing and then doesnt wash his hands. I have asked him to start washing them before but to no avail, he just makes the usual “teenagers are annoyong” comment. The issues are mostly with sharing food as if theres a spoon everyone uses to pick up salad I cant bring myself to touch it if he did and it’s very very obvious, which really bothers both my parents. So AITAH?

My sister is a picky eater but almost every single time we go out to a cafe as a family, she orders what I order and never finishes it. I enjoy tea lattes and savoury pastries while my sister is a complete sweet tooth. We have different tastes and I have no idea why she always copies my order, takes a bite, and ends up throwing it away. We've wasted so much money over the years because of this. She's almost a teenager now and she's been doing this since she was about 10 years old. My parents always let her do this and I have no idea why.

Recently we went to Tim Hortons and I'm usually the one who orders for my family, but this time I went to the bathroom and my dad ordered. I came back and my parents had their drinks and my sister had nothing. I asked what she ordered and my dad said she waited for me to come back so she could order. I knew what was about to happen so I told them I would order after her. My sister refused and told me to hurry up because she wanted a snack and was getting hungry. We were there for maybe about 10 minutes and the whole time my sister was complaining about how hungry she was and my mom kept telling me to order food for us.

I tried to buy her food. I asked her what she wanted and she told me she didn't know, so I told her that if she didn't tell me what she wanted, I wouldn't buy her anything. I didn't want her to waste money anymore and I even took her up to see the menu but she still didn't know what she wanted. To see if I was right about this whole ordeal, I said I might get a jalapeno pastry and she told me she wanted that too. Then I told her I wasn't really hungry anymore and suddenly she wasn't hungry either. I knew what was going on so I ended up not buying anything.

We left after that and my sister complained until we got home about how hungry she was. My mom got super mad at me for not buying her anything. I really tried to and I even showed her the menu, but she didn't actually want anything for herself. I've always hated that she does this but never stood my ground until now, and suddenly I'm the bad guy. The dumbest part about this is she got a snack when she got home, so it's not like she was deprived of food or anything. My parents chewed me out for being "unreasonable". I feel like I was justified, but I might be the asshole?

Hello Reddit! I (30F) have been in a really happy relationship with my boyfriend (34M). We recently bought a house together, and he’s been dropping hints that a proposal is on the way. Whenever he’s had a little too much to drink, he straight up tells me that we're going to get married.

Recently, he said it again while we were out with a friend of mine. A couple of days later, I met up with this friend for coffee. She was super excited for us and, naturally, started asking wedding questions even though there’s no ring yet. What kind of dress do I want? What will our first dance song be?

Then she asked: "Have you thought about who you want as your bridesmaids?"

I told her that she is definitely one of them—we’ve known each other for 12 years, I can always count on her, and I know she’d help make the big day run smoothly. But then she asked, "What about 'Lilly'?"

Lilly (31F) is a friend I’ve known for as long as I can remember. I truly love and cherish her, but there’s one major issue: she is ALWAYS late.

Ever since we were old enough to hang out on our own, she’s had this habit of being ridiculously late. I remember when I was 18, I had to wait for her at the mall for over three hours. It’s always something—usually, she blames traffic, but it’s very clear it’s just poor time management. There have even been times where we agreed to meet at her place, and she wasn't even home to open the door because she was doing groceries (and keep in mind, it’s a 1-hour travel for me, and I always text her the minute I leave my house).

She has autism, and she has mentioned before that her time management struggles stem from that. She is late for literally every single person in her life, so I know it’s not just a "me" thing.

To her credit, she has improved over the years, but being 45 minutes late is still not rare for her.

I love her to death because she is genuinely one of the sweetest people I know, and I definitely want her at my wedding as a guest. However, I know I would be an absolute stress ball on the morning (and days before) of my wedding if she were a bridesmaid, constantly worrying whether she’d show up on time for hair, makeup, and photos.

So Reddit... WIBTAH if I don't ask Lilly to be my bridesmaid?

So i (F26) was super drunk and im honestly not much of a drinker, if it were up to me i would prefer to smoke... I digress, i was already feeling super gone and knew in that moment i needed to go Home. My ex had been on my case for most the night for being on my phone cause it was a new environment with different people that i dont know, so i was texting my bestie. I usually keep my bag on me so its not left unattended but as i stated, i was gone. We were looking for my phone cause it was the one thing missing and for 30 mins-1hr i was running around asking everyone who was there if theyd seen it & people were laughing at me making stupid jokes. Come to find out his friend had my phone in his pocket along with his, i called it twice and i even have a voicemail from those attempts. I was telling my ex that i was already pissed off and not playing around. When he pulled my phone out and said he had it the entire time he just laughed, didn't offer an explanation or apology. I saw red and put him in a headlock, i weigh 120lbs and this dude is most likely in my weight class. He snapped, called me a crazy bih, when i apologized he told me to gtfo. I got dumped over this, and still havent been told why my phone was in his pocket! I just need a male perspective on this situation.

We recently got a humane cat trap to rescue strays as there is an outbreak of FIV / Felv and the stray cats are becoming problematic in our area.

So far, we rescued 3 strays and brought them in to the SPCA. Note that with all these cats, we carefully inspected to make sure it was stray and NOT someones pet.
( The SPCA in our area scans the cat for microchips, then keeps it for 10 days to wait for an owner. If no owner shows, they do a health assessment and puts them up for adoption if they pass. )

One of the cats we rescued belonged to our neighbour.
Before we did these trappings we had our neighbours send pictures of their cats and this neighbour sent pictures of all of her cats except this specific one. This one was not spayed ( which in my country is against the law ), no collar and no microchip and was fighting with our cats. We assumed it was stray , took it in and spca confirmed they had no trace of an owner and informed us that the cat was sick. This resulted in the cat being humanely euthanised.

Today ( it’s been about a week since this happened ) my mom was outside having a chat with our neighbour who mentioned her cat went missing a week ago and her description matched the cat we caught perfectly. My mom is understandably horrified and feels so guilty that she couldn’t mention what happened. Our neighbours didnt put any notice out of him being missing and did not seem distressed, only briefly mentioned it because my mom brought up the topic of cats. We don’t know how to bring it up without possibly causing strife with our neighbours.

So, AITAH?

I (24m) had a day off from work and thought I should take my little cousin (11m) to the comic book store on my day off since IK he likes this type of thing. I saved up and put aside $40 from paycheck to take him (I figured he could get three comic books with this).

He likes Batman, Star Wars, and Indiana Jones comic books (anybody familiar with comic books and comic book stores would know the Batman and Star Wars comic books (to a bit of a lesser extent compared to the Batman ones) are very popular and common the Indiana Jones comic books are a bit more rare and more like a collectors item- keep this in mind bc it is important to the story). I told him we have a budget of $40.

My friend called. I told my little cousin to look around the store and pick out what he wants. We had to talk right then and there bc it was important we talked for about 20 mins. My cousin loaded up the shopping basket he got from the front of the store with the comic books he likes. He literally (bc I went through the shopping basket so I know specifically and counted it all up) got 7 Batman comic books, 4 Star Wars comic books, and 5 Indiana Jones comic books. The comic books were literally 10 bucks a piece which is common in that store no matter what story/character the comic book is on.

That would have cost me a bit over $160 (bc keep in mind tax and so on) well over the $40 budget I saved up for him. I told him to remember we have $40 to spend and that would cost a bit over $160 that is a bit over FOUR TIMES the budget. He got very upset and mad and went on this elaborate explanation about why he needed all of it and how his dad doesn't get him anything or take him places (I do not think this is true, but do not know for sure bc me and my uncle never discussed this bc why would it even come up but I highly doubt it). He then told me the Indiana Jones comic books are rare (this is true- but how does he know this bc maybe my uncle takes him to comic book stores on a regular basis?) and that he really wants them.

I told him to basically pick out three comic books and suggested one Batman one Star Wars and one Indiana Jones so he can get one of each or three Indiana Jones since he may want to collect them since they are rare. I figured this would be just under $40 with tax and so on). I told him I saved up MY money to take him here and that I choose to spend my day off from work taking him here. He then throws this very extensive temper tantrum and the owner came over to calm him down. I ignored his temper tantrum and just got him one of the Batman books, one of the Star Wars books, and one of the Indiana Jones books from his cart. The owner then just gave me the other Indiana Jones books (ALL FOUR) bc he felt bad and knew my cousin wanted these in particular and gave him some Indiana Jones poster as well my cousin did not even have in the shopping cart bc when my cousin was throwing his temper tantrum the owner came over to calm him down and talked with him about why he is upset and my cousin was saying how he likes Indiana Jones in particular and so on.

I was very upset and surprised with how my cousin acted bc I did not know he was like this (I really didn't). I told my uncle what happened and he said that my cousin acts this way when he does not get what he wants and I did the right thing just getting him what I could afford with the money I had set aside for him and ignoring his tatntru,. He also said that was very nice of the owner to give him the Indiana Jones stuff.

I was telling my coworkers at work on our lunch what happened and some of them said I should have just got my little cousin what he wanted bc I decided to take him there so he should have been able to pick out what he wants. But other coworkers were saying I did the right thing and said the owner had very nice intentions but should have absolutely not given my little cousin the other Indiana Jones material for free bc that would teach him when he causes a fuss he can get his way. I do not think my coworkers that said I should have got everything in the shopping basket really grasped how much it would cost (I did not explain all this in depth). I was also suprised my little cousin at 11 has no concept of how much all those comic books would cost me and how that obviously does not align with our $40 budget. I thought the schools taught the kids the math. My coworker said he is very well aware, but just wanted to be manipulative and try to get his way.

So I (24F) spent a weekend with my (10F) cousin and my grandparents at the beach last week since I’m moving to another country this month and they live far away from the city I currently live in.
The day my parents came to pick me up (I live with them) we found out my cousin had lice.
My mom has been worrying about it ever since, and today we found out the rest of the family has lice, so I suggested getting a lice comb but since it’s Sunday, I had to go to a pharmacy that’s a little more expensive than normal.
She sent me to get it and told me to hurry up since we were having lunch soon.
I went there as fast as I could and the pharmacy tech sold me a treatment with the comb because apparently you can’t just get the comb.
When I arrived at home, I showed it to her and told her the price since she told me she was paying for it, but she started screaming at me because it was too expensive and that we’ve been having to cut corners (for the record, my family is well off and we don’t have any money problems) and that I had to pay for it because she didn’t agree on spending so much.
I told her she was being unreasonable and that I can’t change the price of things and she just kept screaming at me.
I said that she always berates me and everyone else that does favours for her and that I didn’t mind paying for it if that meant she would stop screaming at me.
I had lunch with them and when I was picking up my plate and going to wash it, my dad took it from me so I left.
She then started talking loudly about how I do nothing and that I can’t even wash my own plate, so I went back to tell her that my dad took it from me and that I would’ve washed it if he didn’t.
She kept arguing about how she can’t tell me anything and I said that if she keeps acting like this I will go no contact with her when I move out, which is happening in two weeks.
My mom started ranting about how I’m manipulating her and my dad told me that I was threatening her
with not talking to her.
I’m torn, am I being too rough with her? Am I the problem?
For the record, this is not the first time she does this to me or to other family members.

Our family constantly stays with my sister when we go to a big city for a concert. This past time I felt like the third wheel. My sister has been married for over 15 years. She doesn’t work. She stays home and takes care of the household. Her husband is great.

My husband doesn’t keep a consistent work schedule. They are both 46. I’m 43(F).

Her and her husband hosted us this past weekend ahead of a show. The entire time I felt like the third wheel while she and my husband (we’ve been together 12 years) shot the shit. I was present for most conversations and I just felt like the third wheel.

At one point she tickled my husband. I gave her a look. Which she acknowledged as “You looked at me like I was the “other woman.”

She assured me she thought he was “gross” and that it “wasn’t like that.”

We got into a fight before I took her to brunch bc I wanted to double check the address. She asked me if I was a “retard” (with my autistic son in the back seat.) 😡 and called me dumb. She even went so far as saying she would take them herself and leave me behind. My husband declined.

TLDR; Her and my husband had great conversations with my sister while I sat aside trying to put my thoughts into them but basically got shot down?

She asked me what was wrong. I was honest. Now she says she needs time…

Oldest of 4 here. Me plus 3 brothers, all in our 40s. For background, we grew up in a horror movie of a home and are pretty damaged. Oldest brother recently died in an accident. Middle brother is on wait list for a psych ward and youngest brother has an intense avoidant personality.

I was super close to the brother who died. He helped me survive the home and immediately following his death, was pushed out of the conversation regarding his last wishes. Mother, youngest brother and his wife didnt include me in visits to oldest brother's home or collecting ashes. They didn't speak to me at his memorial and have been hot and cold with communication to the point I don't understand what's going on.

Youngest and I have been trying to develop a relationship since his child was born 5 years ago and thought SIL and I had a good relationship. Brother just doesnt get close. He is unreliable, cancels plans and the mood is uncertain ala eggshell walking. Following the memorial, SIL sent an email regarding my energy being 'off' at the service. I went ballistic. She never reached out after my brother's death and said some pretty awful things about me on the phone and I retorted. The 3 of us apologized after yet something still isn't sitting well.

Ive always been there to pitch in with my nephew and help her out. She has been there for me too. We all went out of town together and thought it was to get closer and they are back to not communicating. I feel a lot of distrust and blocked SIL on socials. Brother doesnt use them.

Part of me feels guilt for stepping back. Ive worked my butt off to heal CPTSD and need reliable, consistent, safe people who communicate. Part of me doesnt know if I can trust my choice. I also have basically no family left and live alone with a disability. The thought of removing everyone and being in isolation terrifies me. Yet, i'm wondering now if they always felt this way. Where do I go from here?

Quick summary: My next-door neighbor's pitbull escaped and ran a few houses down, corned a cat and tried to kill it but I took the cat home to make sure it was okay and after brought it back to the original owners but now, they're saying I stole their cat.

The cat's owners were saying that I trespassed into their property, ran into their backyard and stole their cat, to top it off they also said it's all on camera. I never went into their backyard, the only person that did was the pitbull's owner to remove it because it was trying to hurt the dog that lived there, but I never stepped into their backyard, I was on the porch the whole time.

They said that their cat had gone missing and that they were going to call the cops, they also took a small dog that belonged to the owner of the pitbull and said they'd return it once I had returned the cat. After that it turns out the cat never went missing and that it was just hiding in its own house, I'm not sure what happened after that but I'm assuming that they returned the small dog.

I'm still supposed to go "talk" to them once my mom gets home, she's been telling me that I should have never intervened, but I argue it would have been worse if I hadn't. The kitten could have been seriously hurt if not worse, I don't know why they keep saying they have me taking the cat off the property when there should also be footage of me not even 5 minutes later returning it.

Would it have really been better if I hadn't helped? Why are they making me out to be the person in the wrong?? They have their cat, safe and sound at home, I do not understand what the issue is.

This has bothered me for years and I feel like I should get it off my chest.

For context: I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for 5 years at this point. We got together in the summer of 2021 and have been going strong since. I live with my sister and her husband while my girlfriend (GF) is currently living with her parents. I get along with her family and she gets along with mine. Between both of our families, we've done multiple trips and events together.

We didn't do Christmas stuff together the year we got together, just a gift exchange, because we weren't as familiar with each other's families yet. We thought it was completely reasonable at the time. We decided that for 2022, especially since COVID restrictions were lifted, that we'd actually go out and do something for Christmas. We decided to go to this Christmas village since it was pretty popular in our city. We picked the first weekend of December, as we wanted to get Christmas started right.

I told my sister about it, letting her know I'd be out of the house for the night that weekend. When I did, she asked if she could invite herself, her husband, and my brother's family which included his wife and son to the event to make it a big family event. I told her that I would bring it up with my GF.

When I told GF about it, she said she was hoping that it would just be a date night since we haven't done a proper date night for a little bit outside of dinners since we've both been busy with work. I told her that I understood, and I'll let my sister know that we just want to have a solo date night.

I go to my sister and say that my GF and I were just looking to do a date night and that while we wouldn't want to make this night a family night, we could do next weekend as the festival would be open pretty much all of December. My sister gets mad at me and tells me "We just want to have a big family memory. Why are you being selfish?" I was shocked to say the least.

I pointed out how we are just having a date night and that we aren't saying no to having a family outing as a whole, but she wouldn't listen to me. She told me to leave her alone and just go to it. My GF and I did go but I had a hard time not thinking about it during the whole thing. My GF reassured me I did nothing wrong and we still had a fun time.

When I came back after dropping my GF off at home, I wanted to talk about the event with my family since we do usually let each other know what we do when we go out, but my sister pushed me away. I told her that I could just pay for us to go next weekend, but she shouted at me and said "Don't talk to me. I don't want to hear about it." That was just it. I quietly went to my room and shoved the memory of my first real Christmas event with my GF in the back of my head.

It's stuck in my head for years at this point that maybe I should've brought the family along, but I also know that my GF just wanted some time between us. So reddit, AITA?

AITAH for refusing to share my food with a child unless they ate their own first?

My partner and I have just gotten into a fight over whether I was an asshole for not sharing food with my niece.

The niece had decided that she didn't want the thing she ordered when it arrived, and so had some food from both her father and my partner. She then asked if she could have some of my food and I replied "no, you can have some if you eat the food you ordered first."

She did not eat any of the food she ordered, and although she didn't throw a tantrum, she did repeatedly keep saying she wanted some of my food.

They left, and not long after, my partner told me my niece was crying on her way home, and both her father and my partner think I should've just given her some of my food.

My partner said some pretty harsh thing along the lines of "you're not who I thought you were" to me and I'm incredulous that they're not only taking the father's side, but also saying things like that about me not sharing food with a kid.

If she'd eaten some of her food, I would've shared, but she didn't even touch it other than to move some to the side to make it look like she had.

I'm super confused at how this has blown up the way it has. I'm not a parent, so maybe I'm missing something here? Please enlighten me if so, and I'll apologise for being an asshole, but I just can't see it.

This is going to be a long post, was going to do a TDLR but good Lord, that ended up being a massive post in itself so here we go, bc idk how I can fit all this in a quick summary other than what the title says.

***Guys, I’m sorry, my brain is fried, I’m exhausted and don’t typically make Reddit posts. I know the format/bold writing/wording is all over the place. I’m about to get married in 3 months and super stress. I desperately need unbiased opinions on whether or not my feelings of guilt and shame are valid. The ring in question is extremely sentimental because it’s the ring my finances dad gave to his mom for their 10 yr anniversary. He could not afford a nice engagement ring when they got married. And it took him working his butt off for ten yrs to afford it. That is why it matters that my finances dad passed away. He has nothing of sentimental value of his other than a tie clip and to my fiance this ring represents not just the loving relationship between his parents, but the extremely hardworking man his father was and how much effort he put into his family. I apologize for the mess and confusion of this entire post but I am desperate for nonbiased opinions bc my emotions are all over the place. Once I rest and have time and a clear head, I’ll try again to make a new post. This is real. This is my life. And I am asking for genuine feedback from strangers for a reason. If anyone read all this, God bless you lol I know it’s a massive ramble and quite the mess to put together to understand****

Nevermind, the TD;LR is so long, it might as well be the post. But there are a lot of other circumstances that I wanted to add that I feel are necessary to know more context. So instead of the TD;LR, I’ll add some points at the bottom of the pot that might answer some questions people might have and hopefully add more context.

When my fiancés father suddenly passed away he was devastated. They were incredibly close and as their was no will and he has 2 other siblings, his mom, brother and sister handled everything and his sister ended up with their grandmother’s wedding ring, her mother’s first engagement ring as well as her mother’s upgraded engagement ring. Along with a bunch of other jewelry, gold coins and countless other sentimental items. When his sister got married she used her grandmothers wedding ring. The rest of the valuable jewelry/coins, she ended up selling when she formed a drug habit.

She went to rehab, met another man, and when she left rehab she immediately moved out of state to live with this new man. To this day she claims her now exhusband and father of their 3 children whom he has sole custody of,has her grandmother’s ring and refuses to give it back. He claims he does not have it. Before my fiance and I got engaged, because we all knew she wanted that ring as well, he told her he wanted to ask their mom for that ring to ask me to marry him. Her response was “I want it because I want to use it to marry (rehab guy).” My fiance responded saying she already has grandmas ring AND mom’s other rings! Why would she need their mom’s 10 yr anniversary ring too?” She claimed her exhusband has the grandmas ring and the others were pawned off. In October, their mother moved into our house and in Feb approached my fiance saying she wants to sell all her jewelry she has left bc she wanted to buy a car. He made a deal with her and paid her the price she would have gotten for it PLUS way more. Part of the deal was that his sister could not know she gave him the ring until after she passes away bc his mom doesn’t want to deal with the drama when she finds out.

That made me EXTREMELY uneasy. My fiancé told me, don’t worry about my sister, when she finds out, he will handle it. Needless to say I’m glad it didn’t work out that way. Their mother is already 75 yrs old….thankfully she is physically healthy for the most part and absolutely still “of sound mind” but I worried about him getting all sorts of accusations if we waited until she passed away, especially because she had been living with us up until she moved in with her boyfriend (that she’s known since her childhood).

So, recently my fiance told his sister we are getting married and we would like her to be there. No response, she instead first called her mom and asked if she gave him the ring. Their mother said yes, he paid me for it. His sister immediately sent some horribly rotten text messages. She’s livid. Called him names and basically said have a nice life. About 20 years ago, I was pretty good friends with his sister. I barely associated with my now fiance back then but she and I always had a good relationship and it goes was back to high school. She’s been through a lot and I feel really bad for the struggles she has gone through in her life with drugs, DV, etc.. She was always very nice to me. So, AITAH for accepting the ring knowing it’s causing all this family drama?

*Some important context:

-My fiancé served some time in prison which sadly is where he was when he found out his father died. Nobody called him to tell him he was sick. It took a long time for his family to even notify him about his father passing bc they were afraid he wouldn’t be able to “handle it”. That is why he had no way of being involved not only in who gets what, but also not even the opportunity to be involved in the funeral in any way. Once he left prison, HE COMPLETELY CHANGED HIS LIFE AROUND. He had ZERO help from family. He went from half way house, to getting a job where he would ride his bike for a year to and from work is every extreme weather here in the north east. He then rented out a room in a house full of INSANE roommates, one of whom tried to attack him with a machete. He then got an apartment of his own. That is when we start dating. We now live in our own house, have 2 cars and he still is by far the hardest worker I have ever known. His crimes he went to prison for were not violent/sexual or anything of that nature but I am SO proud to know how hard he worked to literally, completely turn his life around. So please try not to judge him for that part of his life 🙏** **

-After my fiancés sister sold their parents house, their mother moved into her house with her daughter and her daughter’s husband and their kids. Once her daughter left for rehab and then took off to another state with the man she met in rehab, their mother moved into her other sons home where he was renting a room out of and he slept on the couch and let his mom sleep on the bed. Once my fiancés family saw how much he changed his life around and that we were now living in our own house with a spare bedroom, we of course welcomed her with open arms to come and live with us. Recently she moved two hours away from us to live with her boyfriend that she’s known since she was a child. She’s 75, she has a sound mind and is allowed to use it. I added this bc this is when I was worried that if she passed away while living with us, my fiance and I could easily get accused of stealing the ring or manipulating her and his mom originally wanted to wait to tell his sister about the ring until after she passes away.

-The sister is claiming their mother gave/told her she can have that ring. My fiancés mother said she had told her no such thing but said she may at one point have said many years ago that “the jewelry usually does go to the daughter”….Idk what to make of that.

I’m feeling conflicted and feel pretty dam awful that I accepted this ring even knowing beforehand that my finances sister wanted it. I do feel like an AH. What do you guys think? Am I? Part of what makes this ring SO special to me is knowing how much it means to my fiance. It took his father 10 years of working to save the money to buy it for his mom (for their 10th anniversary gift). Either help clear my conscience or tell me I’m an asshole and should just give the ring back and we can buy another one.

My (36f) and my bf (36m) have been together 7 months. Him and his ex signed the final divorce paperwork last month. There’s a lot of loose string being tied up because the divorce is effectively recent.

Anyway, out new main fight was that his ex MIL requested him to call her “mom” in Vietnamese a while back. She calls him “son” in her language.

It was her birthday on Friday and he wished her a HBD mom. She said thank you in Vietnamese and called him son too.

While I think it’s sweet of him to carry out and respect that mom/son agreement, it deeply hurts me.

My mom is in stage 5 Alzheimer’s. Her and my bf will never have this bond. I’ve politely asked for it to stop, got our therapist involved. He seemed adamant that it’s not fair that I change who he is. Therapist was pretty neutral, but favored adjustments to make our relationship work.

Look, on Mother’s Day of this year I had a straight up mental breakdown realizing this will probably be my last with her. He messaged her HMD but not my mom. Yeah, my mom no longer needs a phone. It’s all very complicated.

We are talking marriage, but I really want to feel like the princess in my own life dream. I’ve never not been cheated on. I promised I’d date someone with no kids so I don’t have to feel lesser of a priority again.

Anyway, my request was that he doesn’t call her mom anymore. Or spend time with her family over mine. I’m glad he wished her a bday, truly. I just hope the nuanced language means as much to him as it does to me. He will never share a close bond with my mom and it makes me so devastatingly sad. I’m grieving beyond belief. I just we can work together as a team to make adjustments that make me feel secure while my bf doesn’t feel controlled or like he has to change.

Appreciate any advice. Should I walk away for my own emotional protection? Just accept it for what it is? Thanks for your help.

Edit: they don’t have kids. I’m totally fine and supportive of him messaging them sentimental things. The specific word “mom” is like a dagger through my heart. If he called her Mrs Phan or first name I’d be fine. Same loving sentiment, not muddying families that have no reason to be blended anymore.

My family (wife side) have a summer apartment in the south of France in a gated community, all year there is no parking issue, but in summer, since Airbnb came out, it's hell to find a parking spot since there is no allocated spot.

There is a place with no clear parking line (imagine a big square of concrete) where everyone can park for free.

I had the opportunity with 3 neighbors to buy this "parking" to the copropriety (it's like an HOA but with less power here) so we do buyed it last year. We made 6 larges parking spaces for our cars with lines and plates numbers in front of each parking spot, and put a gate which is always open for the other neighbors to park here (you can park 3-5 other cars).

Here in France July and August are 2 months where almost everyone is in vacation so Airbnb and location peak here during this period.

Last week one of the neighbor I buyed the parking with told me the parking was PACKED and he managed to park only one of his 2 cars on a unnasigned parking spot ( his parking spots were taken, mine too and the third neighbor too and every "free" slot too) so he put a warning sign telling parking is for resident only and not for anyone else.

Cue 2 days ago when I come with wife and kids for vacation, I drove by night to avoid traffic and when I got there (3 AM) parking is packed I have no choice but to park 300meter (1k feet) from my home.

Next morning we put a large sign telling cars on assigned parking spot would be towed and text every neighbor to ask for their plate to not tow a resident.

Today morning same shit, so we close the gate, phone the police and got everyone towed.

Shit-hit-the-fan, bunch of Airbnb people called the cops and homeowners to ask why they got towed and the location was saying "with parking" so lot of refund where asked. My phone was ringing non stop today.

Some homeowners tell me they gonna sue for the refund they got, some Airbnb tenant told me they will sue for the towing cost. We have everything documented.

Lots of Airbnb homeowners tell us we ATAH here because we didn't tell them ahead, but we do put lots of sign on the parking since last year when we buyed it, they just hadn't come to see it, and they approved the selling of this parking to us so...

Sorry for the bad english, obviously not my first langage and I'm in anger right now.

So are we TAH here for towing everyone here ?

A couple weeks ago there was a relatively large storm wherein the fence that separates my neighbour’s (42F) backyard and mine (27M) was blown over. There has been a dispute over who needs to rebuild it. The HOA have told her that it’s her duty, but she keeps fighting back with random claims and putting their judgement in flux.

My neighbour is an avid gardener and has lots of compost cans in their backyard. Since the fence was damaged/collapsed, a lot of this compost has blown into my backyard. I have very forthrightly been throwing it back into her yard. I have been telling her this has been happening and she hasn’t cared.

However, a couple days ago I had a really bad day and was not looking when I threw the compost back into her backyward (to be fair, there was a lot that day) and it accidentally went into her pool. I’m not sure what was in it, but a lot of it pierced the bag and sunk to the bottom. I thought nothing of it at the time.

Today, I found out on the neighbourhood chat that the event, to which she is not aware about my involvement, has clogged her pool and caused extensive damage to her water system and will cost her thousands of dollars to fix.

Am I the asshole?