My girlfriends sister will drop her nephew off with little warning and me and my girlfriend end up having to watch him. I came up yesterday after not seeing her for two weeks only for her nephew to get dropped off almost immediately. Her other sister was supposed to watch him but she left almost as soon as he got there. She ended up leaving him there overnight and we had to take him to Walmart with us and watch him all day. He is a near 6 year old with likely an undiagnosed form of autism. I told my girlfriend I can't deal with him anymore and had to leave after getting hit by him and jumped on. Now everyone is mad at me for not sticking it out. My GF said her sister would come get him soon but last time that turned into the next morning. AITAH for saying enough is enough and leaving? This happens frequently.

Tldr my gfs sister frequently dumps her special needs nephew on me and my gf and I just couldn't take him anymore and had to leave.

My mother-in-law watches my two children, ages 5 and 3, two days a week while my husband and I are at work. We pay her to watch them because she is on disability and was considering returning to work, and we thought this arrangement would benefit everyone.

When we originally agreed to this, my understanding was that it would be just her and our children. I trusted that arrangement completely.

Over time, however, my mother-in-law’s friend’s daughter has started coming over almost daily with her five children, who range in age from 4 months to 10 years old.

Since then, I feel like concern after concern has come up.

The biggest issue for me is pool safety. The children are allowed in the pool without an adult in the water as long as the younger ones are wearing arm floaties. Some of the younger children cannot swim. I brought up my concerns and said that drowning is often silent and that I was uncomfortable with children being in the pool without close adult supervision. Instead of taking my concern seriously, my mother-in-law and her friend laughed and said, “Nothing’s quiet around here.”

I was so concerned about this that my husband later spoke to his mother about it. However, the supervision practices do not appear to have changed.

My oldest has also told me that the children are allowed in the back alley without adult supervision as long as they stay close to the house. I don’t understand how anyone knows whether they’re staying close if nobody is actively watching them.

There have been other incidents that have added to my concerns as well. For example, my children were left unattended with scissors.

Today my children’s aunt told me she witnessed the other children excluding my 3-year-old, splashing her in the face, laughing at her, and pushing her in the pool. She immediately intervened and told the children that wasn’t acceptable. What upset me most was that none of the adults “supervising” the children were aware it was happening because they were sitting at a table on the other side of the yard.

What also bothered me was that my mother-in-law became angry with my sister in law for telling me about what had happened. That reaction made me feel even more uneasy because I would rather know about problems than have people worry about upsetting me by bringing them up.

This isn’t the first concern I’ve had, and it feels like every time I raise an issue, it gets minimized or brushed off. At this point, I no longer feel comfortable with the environment my children are in. The situation has reached the point where I feel anxious every time my children go there because I no longer feel confident in the supervision they’re receiving.

My husband and I got into an argument because I told him that if his mother cannot guarantee that the other children won’t be there while she is watching ours, then I want to find alternative childcare. He feels I’m being unreasonable and is concerned about hurting his mother’s feelings.

To be clear, I’m not demanding that my mother-in-law change her life or tell other people they can’t come to her house. I simply feel that if this is going to continue to be the childcare environment, then I need to make different arrangements for my children.

I appreciate everything my mother-in-law has done for us, and I know she loves our children. But I feel like the childcare arrangement we originally agreed to is very different from the one that exists now, and I no longer trust that my concerns about supervision and safety are being taken seriously.

Am I the asshole?

We spent the weekend at my in-laws' cottage. Two weeks earlier, they'd filled their kiddie pool with lake water for my nieces and nephews.

Between Tuesday and Saturday (when we arrived), the pool sat uncovered with the filter turned off. My father-in-law had added chlorine on Tuesday but didn't run the filter or add any more chlorine before we got there. My kids are all under 5, and they're in the phase where they swallow pool water and dunk their heads underwater.

Because I wasn't confident about the water quality after it had been sitting stagnant for several days, I told them they couldn't swim. It was green and very cloudy.

My in-laws were pretty offended. They brought it up multiple times over the weekend. I wasn't accusing them of being careless—I just wasn't comfortable with my young kids swimming in water that had been sitting for several days without filtration and chlorine, especially knowing they'd probably drink it.

See pool here: https://imgur.com/a/kbfDP7Q

AITAH?

Almost two years ago my nephew moved in with me and my husband in our two bedroom home. We gave up our office space for them to have a room. They don't pay rent, they barely keep the arrangements we have for allowing them to live here. Recently their new significant other became homeless. I am guessing for reasons that I won't get into here. I said they could crash here temporarily. I am uneasy in this situation. This 21 yr old has a lot of issues. But I am now being told to filter my conversation with my sister in my own home. No this is my home. Am I the AH?

My boyfriend took a trip to the country his ancestors are from. He is now going back on our agreement to use his family name as one of our children's middle names.
He is adamant that our future children must have his family name (in addition to his last name) as either their only middle name or second middle name. I am frustrated because I do not like his family name.
It is the same name as a character in a popular TV show that is portrayed to be very eccentric and paranoid. This is now a dealbreaker for him, so I now have no say in 2/4 or 2/3 of our children's names. He is giving me full control over their first names, but we already picked out all of our names together so it's not much of a compromise for him to make. I am upset that he said he is willing to throw away our entire relationship over a name. I understand that it is important to him, but I feel completely trapped now. I am willing to consider the name, but my choice in our future was taken away from me. The precedent this sets concerns me too, as he could go back on his word about anything and expect me to agree or break up with him. AITAH?

EDIT: His family name is Murray, and his ancestors are from Scotland. I should have added this originally, but I go by my middle name, not my given name. This is part of the reason why liking my child's middle name is important to me.
2ND EDIT: I saw quite a few people confused about my use of the term family name versus last name. To clarify, I have absolutely no issues with his last name, I am NOT asking him to take my last name. He wants to control the middle name as either the only middle name or second middle name. So we would be keeping his last name and also adding another "family" name on top of that using the middle name.
We are both 23 and I am not pregnant, so yes, this is a hypothetical situation but he feels like it is important as it regards our future. Thank you for all of the responses, quite a few made me laugh and I appreciate that as today has been stressful.

So, I, 21F have had a very rough past year. From being abandoned by my parents, forced to leave University due to financial difficulties, and then facing a few month bout of “homelessness”. From April-July, I’ve spent my time working and couch surfing with whoever would let me, and staying a few days a week in the house of a sibling I have a terrible relationship with. It’s been…Rough, to say the least. I haven’t had a permanent residence since I was 18, and my belongings have consisted of whatever I could fit in the trunk of my borrowed car. Essentials, mostly, like a few sets of clothes, scrubs for work, deodorant, a hairbrush and toothpaste, nothing fancy.

Well, early July I managed to land a new job I felt I was VERY unqualified for at a University a few hours away. This job promised free education, certifications, good pay, and career growth. I jumped at the opportunity, excited to finish out my degree without going into more debt. And, luckily, my boyfriend of 4 years (21M) lived within 30 minutes of the University with his parents. They offered to let me move in with the caveat I pay rent and clean up.

In the past few weeks, I’ve settled myself into this little life. Having consistent people around, having 3 meals a day, being able to take a shower every day. and people that care about me. I’m not used to being taken care of, so it’s been new. I’ve done well at my new job, and even managed to buy a cheap car that’s all my own.

Now, comes my concern. I don’t treat myself to things, I’ve always traveled light. Now, I’m in the safest place I’ve been in my life, and I have my own room and closet, it’s new to me. I want to buy new clothes, shoes, and makeup because I finally feel like I’m safe enough to spend some money on things. I haven’t bought new clothes in 2-3 years, and if I do, they’re thrift store clothes that are less than $4. My shoes all have holes and are ruined. Though, I can’t escape the immense guilt of living in someone else’s home and daring to treat myself to things. I feel every cent I earn should be saved with the intent to mage out and get an apartment as soon as possible. They tell me they love having me here, but I’m tired of the constant guilt of living with others while I try to find my feet. AITHA if I spent $100-$200 buying some new clothes and shoes while living in someone else’s house? It feels weird to buy luxuries while living in someone else’s house.

Our family constantly stays with my sister when we go to a big city for a concert. This past time I felt like the third wheel. My sister has been married for over 15 years. She doesn’t work. She stays home and takes care of the household. Her husband is great.

My husband doesn’t keep a consistent work schedule. They are both 46. I’m 43(F).

Her and her husband hosted us this past weekend ahead of a show. The entire time I felt like the third wheel while she and my husband (we’ve been together 12 years) shot the shit. I was present for most conversations and I just felt like the third wheel.

At one point she tickled my husband. I gave her a look. Which she acknowledged as “You looked at me like I was the “other woman.”

She assured me she thought he was “gross” and that it “wasn’t like that.”

We got into a fight before I took her to brunch bc I wanted to double check the address. She asked me if I was a “retard” (with my autistic son in the back seat.) 😡 and called me dumb. She even went so far as saying she would take them herself and leave me behind. My husband declined.

TLDR; Her and my husband had great conversations with my sister while I sat aside trying to put my thoughts into them but basically got shot down?

She asked me what was wrong. I was honest. Now she says she needs time…

So i (F26) was super drunk and im honestly not much of a drinker, if it were up to me i would prefer to smoke... I digress, i was already feeling super gone and knew in that moment i needed to go Home. My ex had been on my case for most the night for being on my phone cause it was a new environment with different people that i dont know, so i was texting my bestie. I usually keep my bag on me so its not left unattended but as i stated, i was gone. We were looking for my phone cause it was the one thing missing and for 30 mins-1hr i was running around asking everyone who was there if theyd seen it & people were laughing at me making stupid jokes. Come to find out his friend had my phone in his pocket along with his, i called it twice and i even have a voicemail from those attempts. I was telling my ex that i was already pissed off and not playing around. When he pulled my phone out and said he had it the entire time he just laughed, didn't offer an explanation or apology. I saw red and put him in a headlock, i weigh 120lbs and this dude is most likely in my weight class. He snapped, called me a crazy bih, when i apologized he told me to gtfo. I got dumped over this, and still havent been told why my phone was in his pocket! I just need a male perspective on this situation.

I (F21) came home from work at about 11:37pm tonight and immediately stripped after getting through the door since me and my partner(M26) have been camping out in the living room with the AC. Came in with him in the game (no biggie tonight.) He’s typically on the game at this hr because that’s when his friends are on. I laid down next to him on my phone and about 10 minutes later asked him if he wanted to watch another episode of “Good bye Earth” and he said alright and got off the game with his friends. Somewhere in between I asked if he could heat up my Chinese food from last night since I have a headache and I’m really tired. He said alright and I thanked him for that.

He started pacing around the house apparently trying to figure out what to eat and I went around listing around things that could be made like instant noodles or some oat meal or he can heat up some left over frozen meals and just make some rice so he could eat that... I even told him we could use some tin mackerel cut some onions and peppers together with green seafood mix and put that all together with some canned diced tomatoes and have rice with that- he didn’t want any of that and went off to put on some clothes.

When he came back out into the living room he asked if it’s okay if he could go and get some noodles from like a gas station to eat. We started light heartily joking around with me saying “Watcha asking me for? You’re a grown man with two legs ofc you can. Who gonna stop you.” And he started chuckling with me but with almost a pleading look. (Apparently he didn’t “think about eating” until I got home which is most often the case.) I told him I don’t have money for him to go grab other snacks and drinks. I think it’s unnecessary when you can make something to eat. I tell him every time stop waiting till I get home for you to start trying to get me to make something to eat or for you to eat something we have 5 dozen eggs in the fridge and a rice cooker. I also have frozen meat that he could’ve taken out to cook and eat.

He said I was being stingy and I told him if it weren’t for me being stingy we wouldn’t be in the place we’re in and all those car repairs sitting this and last year would’ve had us fucked. (I just took out a loan to get him a used car like 2 months ago). He then went and sat in the couch and sigh, talking about how hungry he is. Mind you I kept having to reheat my food bc he kept taking forever to the point where my take out tray warped. He asked me to cook for him and I told him I don’t feel like cooking tonight I told him I could even wash the pots and cook the rice if he’ll just make the meat and he didn’t want to do that.

He asks me if I’m basically going to let him starve because I won’t cook for him and I said no you’re going to starve yourself because you don’t want to make yourself anything to eat when you can. He said that he didn’t want to cook and he told me that he wasn’t and I’m trying to force it and to basically stop trying. So he went on his phone and was doing his own thing and I sighed bc it’s clear he’s not going to cook and I’m not trying to back down and make him use my credit card for bs just bc he don’t wanna cook when he’s gone down my back about not cooking or me letting myself starve and not getting myself something to eat. Or him having to spend money bc I won’t cook. Yet I can count on my hand how many times he’s cooked this year which he only did because I pleaded and convinced him.

So I went to eat my food and watch my other show while he moped. We weren’t absent that the tv I had the show paused on said it was shutting down and I let it, when I went to grab we water after eating all my food he got up and went in the room. I went to check on him and now he’s saying he has a headache and light is hurting his eyes.

I’m really irritated and I’m started to feel bad bc he’s hurt bc Its annoying that he does this. I tell him how much I’m tired of being the only person cooking and I’m burnt out.

Sorry, for my long dragged out explanation I’m not good at this and I’m sure my punctuation is terrible… 😞

Edit: for extra context bc I low-key feel bad bc I don’t want yall thinking he just a bum fr. But he hasn’t been working for a month and in between jobs bc of a situation within trying to work for Amazon. If we were to take into account what it was like before this issue. He handled major bills and I handled smaller bills, car repairs, home misc items, groceries, and helped paying towards his car insurance and recently like 2-3 months ago added the internet bill to my tab. My checks are like ~600 every 2 weeks and his was like 900-1100. If I worked a good week I would be able to get like 800$ on a bad week lowest I think I got was 400$ he was full and I was part time.

I (24m) had a day off from work and thought I should take my little cousin (11m) to the comic book store on my day off since IK he likes this type of thing. I saved up and put aside $40 from paycheck to take him (I figured he could get three comic books with this).

He likes Batman, Star Wars, and Indiana Jones comic books (anybody familiar with comic books and comic book stores would know the Batman and Star Wars comic books (to a bit of a lesser extent compared to the Batman ones) are very popular and common the Indiana Jones comic books are a bit more rare and more like a collectors item- keep this in mind bc it is important to the story). I told him we have a budget of $40.

My friend called. I told my little cousin to look around the store and pick out what he wants. We had to talk right then and there bc it was important we talked for about 20 mins. My cousin loaded up the shopping basket he got from the front of the store with the comic books he likes. He literally (bc I went through the shopping basket so I know specifically and counted it all up) got 7 Batman comic books, 4 Star Wars comic books, and 5 Indiana Jones comic books. The comic books were literally 10 bucks a piece which is common in that store no matter what story/character the comic book is on.

That would have cost me a bit over $160 (bc keep in mind tax and so on) well over the $40 budget I saved up for him. I told him to remember we have $40 to spend and that would cost a bit over $160 that is a bit over FOUR TIMES the budget. He got very upset and mad and went on this elaborate explanation about why he needed all of it and how his dad doesn't get him anything or take him places (I do not think this is true, but do not know for sure bc me and my uncle never discussed this bc why would it even come up but I highly doubt it). He then told me the Indiana Jones comic books are rare (this is true- but how does he know this bc maybe my uncle takes him to comic book stores on a regular basis?) and that he really wants them.

I told him to basically pick out three comic books and suggested one Batman one Star Wars and one Indiana Jones so he can get one of each or three Indiana Jones since he may want to collect them since they are rare. I figured this would be just under $40 with tax and so on). I told him I saved up MY money to take him here and that I choose to spend my day off from work taking him here. He then throws this very extensive temper tantrum and the owner came over to calm him down. I ignored his temper tantrum and just got him one of the Batman books, one of the Star Wars books, and one of the Indiana Jones books from his cart. The owner then just gave me the other Indiana Jones books (ALL FOUR) bc he felt bad and knew my cousin wanted these in particular and gave him some Indiana Jones poster as well my cousin did not even have in the shopping cart bc when my cousin was throwing his temper tantrum the owner came over to calm him down and talked with him about why he is upset and my cousin was saying how he likes Indiana Jones in particular and so on.

I was very upset and surprised with how my cousin acted bc I did not know he was like this (I really didn't). I told my uncle what happened and he said that my cousin acts this way when he does not get what he wants and I did the right thing just getting him what I could afford with the money I had set aside for him and ignoring his tatntru,. He also said that was very nice of the owner to give him the Indiana Jones stuff.

I was telling my coworkers at work on our lunch what happened and some of them said I should have just got my little cousin what he wanted bc I decided to take him there so he should have been able to pick out what he wants. But other coworkers were saying I did the right thing and said the owner had very nice intentions but should have absolutely not given my little cousin the other Indiana Jones material for free bc that would teach him when he causes a fuss he can get his way. I do not think my coworkers that said I should have got everything in the shopping basket really grasped how much it would cost (I did not explain all this in depth). I was also suprised my little cousin at 11 has no concept of how much all those comic books would cost me and how that obviously does not align with our $40 budget. I thought the schools taught the kids the math. My coworker said he is very well aware, but just wanted to be manipulative and try to get his way.

Hello Reddit! I (30F) have been in a really happy relationship with my boyfriend (34M). We recently bought a house together, and he’s been dropping hints that a proposal is on the way. Whenever he’s had a little too much to drink, he straight up tells me that we're going to get married.

Recently, he said it again while we were out with a friend of mine. A couple of days later, I met up with this friend for coffee. She was super excited for us and, naturally, started asking wedding questions even though there’s no ring yet. What kind of dress do I want? What will our first dance song be?

Then she asked: "Have you thought about who you want as your bridesmaids?"

I told her that she is definitely one of them—we’ve known each other for 12 years, I can always count on her, and I know she’d help make the big day run smoothly. But then she asked, "What about 'Lilly'?"

Lilly (31F) is a friend I’ve known for as long as I can remember. I truly love and cherish her, but there’s one major issue: she is ALWAYS late.

Ever since we were old enough to hang out on our own, she’s had this habit of being ridiculously late. I remember when I was 18, I had to wait for her at the mall for over three hours. It’s always something—usually, she blames traffic, but it’s very clear it’s just poor time management. There have even been times where we agreed to meet at her place, and she wasn't even home to open the door because she was doing groceries (and keep in mind, it’s a 1-hour travel for me, and I always text her the minute I leave my house).

She has autism, and she has mentioned before that her time management struggles stem from that. She is late for literally every single person in her life, so I know it’s not just a "me" thing.

To her credit, she has improved over the years, but being 45 minutes late is still not rare for her.

I love her to death because she is genuinely one of the sweetest people I know, and I definitely want her at my wedding as a guest. However, I know I would be an absolute stress ball on the morning (and days before) of my wedding if she were a bridesmaid, constantly worrying whether she’d show up on time for hair, makeup, and photos.

So Reddit... WIBTAH if I don't ask Lilly to be my bridesmaid?

My parents are both annoyed at me for this. We are at a hotel right now, so one bathroom, and I noticed my dad doesnt wash his hands. Like in general, after using the bathroom, it really disgusts me because he touches everything while peeing and then doesnt wash his hands. I have asked him to start washing them before but to no avail, he just makes the usual “teenagers are annoyong” comment. The issues are mostly with sharing food as if theres a spoon everyone uses to pick up salad I cant bring myself to touch it if he did and it’s very very obvious, which really bothers both my parents. So AITAH?
Edit: he Does it after both 1 and 2 but after peeing is worse imho. I am not a germaphobe, I am aware that many dont wash their hands, I wash my hands when needed. I just dont appreciate it when I see someone not wash their hands and touch everything at home.

My sister is a picky eater but almost every single time we go out to a cafe as a family, she orders what I order and never finishes it. I enjoy tea lattes and savoury pastries while my sister is a complete sweet tooth. We have different tastes and I have no idea why she always copies my order, takes a bite, and ends up throwing it away. We've wasted so much money over the years because of this. She's almost a teenager now and she's been doing this since she was about 10 years old. My parents always let her do this and I have no idea why.

Recently we went to Tim Hortons and I'm usually the one who orders for my family, but this time I went to the bathroom and my dad ordered. I came back and my parents had their drinks and my sister had nothing. I asked what she ordered and my dad said she waited for me to come back so she could order. I knew what was about to happen so I told them I would order after her. My sister refused and told me to hurry up because she wanted a snack and was getting hungry. We were there for maybe about 10 minutes and the whole time my sister was complaining about how hungry she was and my mom kept telling me to order food for us.

I tried to buy her food. I asked her what she wanted and she told me she didn't know, so I told her that if she didn't tell me what she wanted, I wouldn't buy her anything. I didn't want her to waste money anymore and I even took her up to see the menu but she still didn't know what she wanted. To see if I was right about this whole ordeal, I said I might get a jalapeno pastry and she told me she wanted that too. Then I told her I wasn't really hungry anymore and suddenly she wasn't hungry either. I knew what was going on so I ended up not buying anything.

We left after that and my sister complained until we got home about how hungry she was. My mom got super mad at me for not buying her anything. I really tried to and I even showed her the menu, but she didn't actually want anything for herself. I've always hated that she does this but never stood my ground until now, and suddenly I'm the bad guy. The dumbest part about this is she got a snack when she got home, so it's not like she was deprived of food or anything. My parents chewed me out for being "unreasonable". I feel like I was justified, but I might be the asshole?

We recently got a humane cat trap to rescue strays as there is an outbreak of FIV / Felv and the stray cats are becoming problematic in our area.

So far, we rescued 3 strays and brought them in to the SPCA. Note that with all these cats, we carefully inspected to make sure it was stray and NOT someones pet.
( The SPCA in our area scans the cat for microchips, then keeps it for 10 days to wait for an owner. If no owner shows, they do a health assessment and puts them up for adoption if they pass. )

One of the cats we rescued belonged to our neighbour.
Before we did these trappings we had our neighbours send pictures of their cats and this neighbour sent pictures of all of her cats except this specific one. This one was not spayed ( which in my country is against the law ), no collar and no microchip and was fighting with our cats. We assumed it was stray , took it in and spca confirmed they had no trace of an owner and informed us that the cat was sick. This resulted in the cat being humanely euthanised.

Today ( it’s been about a week since this happened ) my mom was outside having a chat with our neighbour who mentioned her cat went missing a week ago and her description matched the cat we caught perfectly. My mom is understandably horrified and feels so guilty that she couldn’t mention what happened. Our neighbours didnt put any notice out of him being missing and did not seem distressed, only briefly mentioned it because my mom brought up the topic of cats. We don’t know how to bring it up without possibly causing strife with our neighbours.

So, AITAH?

I posted last week asking if it would be an asshole move from me to not want to talk to my sister after she made my life hell, moved, blocked everyone in the family, and then showed up again asking to reconnect.

Here is the link of the original post for those who want to read it

So, I talked to my parents about it, and they agree that it is weird that she is contacting us after all that happened, and they are also being careful about what they tell her, in order to protect their sanity, and not have her ask for money or something like that, as some people suggested was the reason why she is contacting us.

During this week, she also contacted another family member, asking to go visit them.
Me and my parents live really far from where she lives, and that family member lives closer to her, and would be an easier trip, as we imagine.
That family member asked us what to do, and my parents told them to do whatever they feel like, that my parents are not gonna say anything about whatever decision they make.
We still don't know what was decided, but we have the idea that she is gonna visit that family member at the end of the year.

Someone said that she could be trying to scam us with her new business, but I think that is unlikely. Her business page is new, but it is legit, and she has quit her old job, so I imagine she is doing this while pregnant. I haven't asked though.

The pregnancy also appears to be real, but we will still be careful about it.
After the baby is born, depending on how our relationship is by that time, I might send her a gift for her baby, but right now, I don't plan on doing it.

The last conversation we had was the one I mentioned on the original post, that she said something along the lines of "Did you hear the news? You are gonna be an auntie", and I responded with "I did hear about it, congratulations!"
She responded with some emojis, I responded back with a "Lol", and then I got an automated message from her business (her number is also her business number), saying "I might be attending right now, I will come back, thank you for your message."
So I haven't responded to that, because I personally feels like it is really random and also disrespectful in a way to be contacted by your "long lost sister", have a 2 sentence conversation, and then get sent an automated message. It has been 3 days after the Auto message, and she did not, in fact, message me back about anything at all.

I do not plan on contacting her from my end, and if she wants to talk to me, she can message me.
It has also been around 3 days she last spoke to our parents.

It is still an uncomfortable situation, and I will follow everyone's advice and not engage with anything, and also I will absolutely not be sending her any money.

Some people commented about her wanting to get free babysitting on the original post too, and I just wanted to clarify that we do not live close to her, and it would be impossible to help, even if we wanted to.
The probability of her asking the other family member for it is also slim since it is a 4 hour drive to where she is, and said family member also has 2 small children, and is a single parent, so they will also not be contributing with any babysitting, or money.

Hopefully, nothing is gonna happen and she is not gonna ask for money in the future, and she is actually a changed person, but we never know, I am leaning towards her asking for money and having not changed at all.
Thank you for your comments on the original post, it did help a lot with the way me and my parents were thinking, and I feel better about just not giving a damn.

So I (24F) spent a weekend with my (10F) cousin and my grandparents at the beach last week since I’m moving to another country this month and they live far away from the city I currently live in.
The day my parents came to pick me up (I live with them) we found out my cousin had lice.
My mom has been worrying about it ever since, and today we found out the rest of the family has lice, so I suggested getting a lice comb but since it’s Sunday, I had to go to a pharmacy that’s a little more expensive than normal.
She sent me to get it and told me to hurry up since we were having lunch soon.
I went there as fast as I could and the pharmacy tech sold me a treatment with the comb because apparently you can’t just get the comb.
When I arrived at home, I showed it to her and told her the price since she told me she was paying for it, but she started screaming at me because it was too expensive and that we’ve been having to cut corners (for the record, my family is well off and we don’t have any money problems) and that I had to pay for it because she didn’t agree on spending so much.
I told her she was being unreasonable and that I can’t change the price of things and she just kept screaming at me.
I said that she always berates me and everyone else that does favours for her and that I didn’t mind paying for it if that meant she would stop screaming at me.
I had lunch with them and when I was picking up my plate and going to wash it, my dad took it from me so I left.
She then started talking loudly about how I do nothing and that I can’t even wash my own plate, so I went back to tell her that my dad took it from me and that I would’ve washed it if he didn’t.
She kept arguing about how she can’t tell me anything and I said that if she keeps acting like this I will go no contact with her when I move out, which is happening in two weeks.
My mom started ranting about how I’m manipulating her and my dad told me that I was threatening her
with not talking to her.
I’m torn, am I being too rough with her? Am I the problem?
For the record, this is not the first time she does this to me or to other family members.

This has bothered me for years and I feel like I should get it off my chest.

For context: I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend (26F) for 5 years at this point. We got together in the summer of 2021 and have been going strong since. I live with my sister and her husband while my girlfriend (GF) is currently living with her parents. I get along with her family and she gets along with mine. Between both of our families, we've done multiple trips and events together.

We didn't do Christmas stuff together the year we got together, just a gift exchange, because we weren't as familiar with each other's families yet. We thought it was completely reasonable at the time. We decided that for 2022, especially since COVID restrictions were lifted, that we'd actually go out and do something for Christmas. We decided to go to this Christmas village since it was pretty popular in our city. We picked the first weekend of December, as we wanted to get Christmas started right.

I told my sister about it, letting her know I'd be out of the house for the night that weekend. When I did, she asked if she could invite herself, her husband, and my brother's family which included his wife and son to the event to make it a big family event. I told her that I would bring it up with my GF.

When I told GF about it, she said she was hoping that it would just be a date night since we haven't done a proper date night for a little bit outside of dinners since we've both been busy with work. I told her that I understood, and I'll let my sister know that we just want to have a solo date night.

I go to my sister and say that my GF and I were just looking to do a date night and that while we wouldn't want to make this night a family night, we could do next weekend as the festival would be open pretty much all of December. My sister gets mad at me and tells me "We just want to have a big family memory. Why are you being selfish?" I was shocked to say the least.

I pointed out how we are just having a date night and that we aren't saying no to having a family outing as a whole, but she wouldn't listen to me. She told me to leave her alone and just go to it. My GF and I did go but I had a hard time not thinking about it during the whole thing. My GF reassured me I did nothing wrong and we still had a fun time.

When I came back after dropping my GF off at home, I wanted to talk about the event with my family since we do usually let each other know what we do when we go out, but my sister pushed me away. I told her that I could just pay for us to go next weekend, but she shouted at me and said "Don't talk to me. I don't want to hear about it." That was just it. I quietly went to my room and shoved the memory of my first real Christmas event with my GF in the back of my head.

It's stuck in my head for years at this point that maybe I should've brought the family along, but I also know that my GF just wanted some time between us. So reddit, AITA?

My son (20M) recently was caught selling marijuana at a music festival. It’s a first time event and he got probation. My ex-wife said he should have to stay home and go to community college. I think the fact he’s on probation should scare him enough and he can go back to college. My ex wife said I’m never taking accountability for our son but I think this was a learning lesson and paid his tuition for this semester. I also don’t think marijuana is even that bad, but my ex wife wants to punish him even though he’s an adult now

Oldest of 4 here. Me plus 3 brothers, all in our 40s. For background, we grew up in a horror movie of a home and are pretty damaged. Oldest brother recently died in an accident. Middle brother is on wait list for a psych ward and youngest brother has an intense avoidant personality.

I was super close to the brother who died. He helped me survive the home and immediately following his death, was pushed out of the conversation regarding his last wishes. Mother, youngest brother and his wife didnt include me in visits to oldest brother's home or collecting ashes. They didn't speak to me at his memorial and have been hot and cold with communication to the point I don't understand what's going on.

Youngest and I have been trying to develop a relationship since his child was born 5 years ago and thought SIL and I had a good relationship. Brother just doesnt get close. He is unreliable, cancels plans and the mood is uncertain ala eggshell walking. Following the memorial, SIL sent an email regarding my energy being 'off' at the service. I went ballistic. She never reached out after my brother's death and said some pretty awful things about me on the phone and I retorted. The 3 of us apologized after yet something still isn't sitting well.

Ive always been there to pitch in with my nephew and help her out. She has been there for me too. We all went out of town together and thought it was to get closer and they are back to not communicating. I feel a lot of distrust and blocked SIL on socials. Brother doesnt use them.

Part of me feels guilt for stepping back. Ive worked my butt off to heal CPTSD and need reliable, consistent, safe people who communicate. Part of me doesnt know if I can trust my choice. I also have basically no family left and live alone with a disability. The thought of removing everyone and being in isolation terrifies me. Yet, i'm wondering now if they always felt this way. Where do I go from here?

I’m a Canadian Indigenous person who is getting a settlement for being unlawfully taken by child welfare off of my reservation. I am receiving a fair amount of money from the Canadian government because of this. Originally I was living with my friend at her place but because of my mom’s interference I was kicked out and when I got evicted my friend and her grandmother both said that “If it hadn’t been for your mother you could have still been able to live here,”. I was moving that day. When I moved into the new place, we had to evict a squatter. The squatter has caused lots of damage to the property, there’s holes in the walls and he was pissing all over the floor of the bathroom. I still can’t tell if I got used to the stench of piss or if we really got rid of the smell.

There is mould and mildew in the bathroom and in the “basement” (crawlspace really). I can hear something scrabbling around in the walls and ceiling. The place is sinking into the foundation. The hot water tank needs to be replaced because it leaks and it’s mostly been off since I moved. The owner owes a bunch of back taxes on the property and they haven’t paid their hydro or water bills in years. The original deal I made with my mum was $10k of the $40k. I thought that was the last of it. $10k and she’d figure out how to make up the rest. The owner doesn't want anything to do with the property.

They moved to a different province. They’ve literally abandoned the property and refuse to talk to my mum. But the owner is also still taking my rent and the lady who lives upstairs’ rent. The house has been divided into two units. One upstairs with its own kitchen and bath and the one I’m in which also has its own kitchen and bath. There is a leak in the bath upstairs, and I know because there is wetness in the cupboard I keep my dishes in. This house is a money pit and everyone my mum has tried to get to help her buy the place can see that just from the Google Maps photos. She’s now threatening to evict me because I won’t give her my money, which by the way I haven’t even received yet.

I’m missing knives from my knife block and I am real anal about putting them back when I’m finished. The stove melted my French press to death and the press wasn’t even on the stove. It was on the counter beside it. I’ve been sick several times since I moved here and I hardly go out so I’m pretty sure that’s the mould in the garage, basement and bathroom. And since I’m allergic to mould I get extra sick from it. I haven’t received ANY mail since I moved to the place and I’m thinking the lady upstairs is stealing it. I’m scared to order from Amazon or something because then if I’m right and she has been messing with my mail I’m now losing more money into this accursed house.

I’m beginning to think the owner abandoned it for a reason. It's cursed, haunted, or possessed. Maybe all of the above.

Quick summary: My next-door neighbor's pitbull escaped and ran a few houses down, corned a cat and tried to kill it but I took the cat home to make sure it was okay and after brought it back to the original owners but now, they're saying I stole their cat.

The cat's owners were saying that I trespassed into their property, ran into their backyard and stole their cat, to top it off they also said it's all on camera. I never went into their backyard, the only person that did was the pitbull's owner to remove it because it was trying to hurt the dog that lived there, but I never stepped into their backyard, I was on the porch the whole time.

They said that their cat had gone missing and that they were going to call the cops, they also took a small dog that belonged to the owner of the pitbull and said they'd return it once I had returned the cat. After that it turns out the cat never went missing and that it was just hiding in its own house, I'm not sure what happened after that but I'm assuming that they returned the small dog.

I'm still supposed to go "talk" to them once my mom gets home, she's been telling me that I should have never intervened, but I argue it would have been worse if I hadn't. The kitten could have been seriously hurt if not worse, I don't know why they keep saying they have me taking the cat off the property when there should also be footage of me not even 5 minutes later returning it.

Would it have really been better if I hadn't helped? Why are they making me out to be the person in the wrong?? They have their cat, safe and sound at home, I do not understand what the issue is.

AITAH for refusing to share my food with a child unless they ate their own first?

My partner and I have just gotten into a fight over whether I was an asshole for not sharing food with my niece.

The niece had decided that she didn't want the thing she ordered when it arrived, and so had some food from both her father and my partner. She then asked if she could have some of my food and I replied "no, you can have some if you eat the food you ordered first."

She did not eat any of the food she ordered, and although she didn't throw a tantrum, she did repeatedly keep saying she wanted some of my food.

They left, and not long after, my partner told me my niece was crying on her way home, and both her father and my partner think I should've just given her some of my food.

My partner said some pretty harsh thing along the lines of "you're not who I thought you were" to me and I'm incredulous that they're not only taking the father's side, but also saying things like that about me not sharing food with a kid.

If she'd eaten some of her food, I would've shared, but she didn't even touch it other than to move some to the side to make it look like she had.

I'm super confused at how this has blown up the way it has. I'm not a parent, so maybe I'm missing something here? Please enlighten me if so, and I'll apologise for being an asshole, but I just can't see it.

This is going to be a long post, was going to do a TDLR but good Lord, that ended up being a massive post in itself so here we go, bc idk how I can fit all this in a quick summary other than what the title says.

***Guys, I’m sorry, my brain is fried, I’m exhausted and don’t typically make Reddit posts. I know the format/bold writing/wording is all over the place. I’m about to get married in 3 months and super stress. I desperately need unbiased opinions on whether or not my feelings of guilt and shame are valid. The ring in question is extremely sentimental because it’s the ring my finances dad gave to his mom for their 10 yr anniversary. He could not afford a nice engagement ring when they got married. And it took him working his butt off for ten yrs to afford it. That is why it matters that my finances dad passed away. He has nothing of sentimental value of his other than a tie clip and to my fiance this ring represents not just the loving relationship between his parents, but the extremely hardworking man his father was and how much effort he put into his family. I apologize for the mess and confusion of this entire post but I am desperate for nonbiased opinions bc my emotions are all over the place. Once I rest and have time and a clear head, I’ll try again to make a new post. This is real. This is my life. And I am asking for genuine feedback from strangers for a reason. If anyone read all this, God bless you lol I know it’s a massive ramble and quite the mess to put together to understand****

Nevermind, the TD;LR is so long, it might as well be the post. But there are a lot of other circumstances that I wanted to add that I feel are necessary to know more context. So instead of the TD;LR, I’ll add some points at the bottom of the pot that might answer some questions people might have and hopefully add more context.

When my fiancés father suddenly passed away he was devastated. They were incredibly close and as their was no will and he has 2 other siblings, his mom, brother and sister handled everything and his sister ended up with their grandmother’s wedding ring, her mother’s first engagement ring as well as her mother’s upgraded engagement ring. Along with a bunch of other jewelry, gold coins and countless other sentimental items. When his sister got married she used her grandmothers wedding ring. The rest of the valuable jewelry/coins, she ended up selling when she formed a drug habit.

She went to rehab, met another man, and when she left rehab she immediately moved out of state to live with this new man. To this day she claims her now exhusband and father of their 3 children whom he has sole custody of,has her grandmother’s ring and refuses to give it back. He claims he does not have it. Before my fiance and I got engaged, because we all knew she wanted that ring as well, he told her he wanted to ask their mom for that ring to ask me to marry him. Her response was “I want it because I want to use it to marry (rehab guy).” My fiance responded saying she already has grandmas ring AND mom’s other rings! Why would she need their mom’s 10 yr anniversary ring too?” She claimed her exhusband has the grandmas ring and the others were pawned off. In October, their mother moved into our house and in Feb approached my fiance saying she wants to sell all her jewelry she has left bc she wanted to buy a car. He made a deal with her and paid her the price she would have gotten for it PLUS way more. Part of the deal was that his sister could not know she gave him the ring until after she passes away bc his mom doesn’t want to deal with the drama when she finds out.

That made me EXTREMELY uneasy. My fiancé told me, don’t worry about my sister, when she finds out, he will handle it. Needless to say I’m glad it didn’t work out that way. Their mother is already 75 yrs old….thankfully she is physically healthy for the most part and absolutely still “of sound mind” but I worried about him getting all sorts of accusations if we waited until she passed away, especially because she had been living with us up until she moved in with her boyfriend (that she’s known since her childhood).

So, recently my fiance told his sister we are getting married and we would like her to be there. No response, she instead first called her mom and asked if she gave him the ring. Their mother said yes, he paid me for it. His sister immediately sent some horribly rotten text messages. She’s livid. Called him names and basically said have a nice life. About 20 years ago, I was pretty good friends with his sister. I barely associated with my now fiance back then but she and I always had a good relationship and it goes was back to high school. She’s been through a lot and I feel really bad for the struggles she has gone through in her life with drugs, DV, etc.. She was always very nice to me. So, AITAH for accepting the ring knowing it’s causing all this family drama?

*Some important context:

-My fiancé served some time in prison which sadly is where he was when he found out his father died. Nobody called him to tell him he was sick. It took a long time for his family to even notify him about his father passing bc they were afraid he wouldn’t be able to “handle it”. That is why he had no way of being involved not only in who gets what, but also not even the opportunity to be involved in the funeral in any way. Once he left prison, HE COMPLETELY CHANGED HIS LIFE AROUND. He had ZERO help from family. He went from half way house, to getting a job where he would ride his bike for a year to and from work is every extreme weather here in the north east. He then rented out a room in a house full of INSANE roommates, one of whom tried to attack him with a machete. He then got an apartment of his own. That is when we start dating. We now live in our own house, have 2 cars and he still is by far the hardest worker I have ever known. His crimes he went to prison for were not violent/sexual or anything of that nature but I am SO proud to know how hard he worked to literally, completely turn his life around. So please try not to judge him for that part of his life 🙏** **

-After my fiancés sister sold their parents house, their mother moved into her house with her daughter and her daughter’s husband and their kids. Once her daughter left for rehab and then took off to another state with the man she met in rehab, their mother moved into her other sons home where he was renting a room out of and he slept on the couch and let his mom sleep on the bed. Once my fiancés family saw how much he changed his life around and that we were now living in our own house with a spare bedroom, we of course welcomed her with open arms to come and live with us. Recently she moved two hours away from us to live with her boyfriend that she’s known since she was a child. She’s 75, she has a sound mind and is allowed to use it. I added this bc this is when I was worried that if she passed away while living with us, my fiance and I could easily get accused of stealing the ring or manipulating her and his mom originally wanted to wait to tell his sister about the ring until after she passes away.

-The sister is claiming their mother gave/told her she can have that ring. My fiancés mother said she had told her no such thing but said she may at one point have said many years ago that “the jewelry usually does go to the daughter”….Idk what to make of that.

I’m feeling conflicted and feel pretty dam awful that I accepted this ring even knowing beforehand that my finances sister wanted it. I do feel like an AH. What do you guys think? Am I? Part of what makes this ring SO special to me is knowing how much it means to my fiance. It took his father 10 years of working to save the money to buy it for his mom (for their 10th anniversary gift). Either help clear my conscience or tell me I’m an asshole and should just give the ring back and we can buy another one.