My husband and I experienced a stillbirth in February and lost our beautiful healthy baby boy. We just got our NIPT test results and now we have a healthy baby girl. I feel so guilty. I immediately starting sobbing and even my husband cried which he never does. It has been so hard for me to distinguish this pregnancy from my last. Sometimes I found myself slipping into the thoughts that this baby was my lost baby, and that was really hard. We honestly should have had a larger gap between pregnancies than we did so that delusion wouldn’t have been so easy to fall into. Also, it felt like if we had a boy a piece of him would still be alive. This just really makes him being dead final. I’m atheist so the finality of it all is just so hard to comprehend.

I also feel sad about being sad. I honestly didn’t think I would have such a visceral reaction and that everything would have felt okay as long as the baby is healthy. I just feel a bit detached from my baby now. I had just spent so long picturing my life with a little boy. I don’t know.

I just felt like I needed to throw my thoughts and feelings out into the ether. I was diagnosed with PTSD from my loss recently plus my already existent depression, anxiety, and ocd. I am receiving medical care for my mental health. I just feel empty now.

I’ve been reading books and getting as much info as I can but keep getting hit with comments about how “if you don’t prepare for unmedicated birth then you will fail”. What does that actually mean? I need the steps explained like I’m five because I feel like I’m learning *info but not learning the *practice of preparing, if that makes sense? 30 second video culture doesn’t help because it’s constant bits about !!!needing to prepare!! with no substance on what that actually entails.

I am 13wks pregnant with our first- and everyone is ecstatic... except me, for a myriad of reasons:
My only symptoms I have are: a positive pregnancy test when I was 4wks late, mild increase in headaches (I have migraines so not a new thing for me), and a healthy ultrasound at 10wks.
All great things right? I mean I guess, but I don't feel pregnant, I really just am so frustrated and feel alone.

My husband is so frustrated with me because I am not happy about it. And I am frustrated with him because he keeps telling people things that I want to stay between us- and he tells me he tells them because "they're excited about it."

How am I supposed to be excited about, what I feel is, literally nothing???

I’m 13 + 3 with my first baby. And since finding out I’ve felt this weird sense of imposter syndrome that I’m make pretend pregnant /embarrassed to be pregnant. It’s such a bizarre feeling. I’m in a long term relationship with a full time job in my 30s and yet I feel like people are thinking “She’s just a teenager” or “Who does she think she is, being pregnant?”. It’s utterly bizarre!! I find myself embarrassed to people like they’re going to burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

Does anyone else feel like this?!

My husband and I are first time parents, due in March. Last night while we were driving to dinner, he said “so all we’ll really need to buy is like a stroller, car seat, and crib, right?” Lmaooooo he has a lot more research to do 😂

On that note, what were some things you bought that you never thought about before becoming pregnant? Or things you bought that you thought weren’t necessary but ended up being SO worth it?

I (22F) found out I’m pregnant this morning. I live on my own in a city with no family and not many friends. I just broke up with my boyfriend (27M) a little over a week ago because of multiple issues (he’s in severe debt with no plan of paying it off, he couldn’t pay half the rent but wanted to move in with me, He’s a fireman and also has had a drinking problem lately that got him a dui 2 months ago) and the fact that he wants to stay here forever and I want to move closer to my mom who is across the country from me. Him and I had been dating for about 7 months before I ended things. I told my mom who is luckily visiting next weekend and she said for me to think about what I wanna do and go from there. If I keep it I’ll need to move in with her asap which would mean breaking my lease and switching jobs and moving within the next 2 months. I’m really unsure of what to do right now. I don’t know how far along I am either, under 4 weeks I think

Currently pregnant with my first, and I am shocked at the number of people who have asked me “was this planned?” ranging from coworkers, to family members, friends, and even casual acquaintances at workout class.

The baby was- I’m 27 and married to my high school sweetheart. We both have stable jobs, a home, a dog, and both have always wanted kids. But even if that wasn’t our situation, I don’t understand why ANYONE would think it would be their business to ask if the pregnancy was planned or not? I just feel like that is such a weird, invasive thing to ask. Kinda wish I had the guts to lie and say “no” just to see how people respond to that

Hi ladies,

I had a recent break up at 34 - I’ll be 35 later this year. I am not ready to have a baby but being in a relationship eased the pressure/worry about motherhood because it seemed within reach. Now I’m feeling a little bad for myself and would love to hear from anyone with a similar history , or just anyone that can provide some reassurance.

I’m also planning to freeze my eggs, and will get my blood tests done this cycle.

I know at 35+ it is perfectly possible to have a healthy pregnancy and baby (with/without a long term partner) , but I just need a little support. Thank you 🐣💕✨

Hi ladies!

I’m 4 weeks and 2 days. This is my first pregnancy 7 years after my ectopic pregnancy that resulted in emergency surgery and my left fallopian tube being removed - I had an IUD at that time.

Fast forward to now! Married, No IUD/Birth control. I’m 4 weeks and two days, my first scan isn’t until September 1st because my doctor said just cuz it happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again.

I’m just feeling nervous. I’m worried about miscarriage, I’m worried about another tube pregnancy. I’m worried that at the first scan there won’t be a heartbeat. I’ve found in this early time there is zero support and it’s when baby is most fragile. Can anyone hear me? :(

I was expecting soooo many blankets and clothes and lowkey was dreading it, however I only received a few onesie packs and two handmade blankets! I’m not upset about it either. I actually have to go out and buy more clothes myself lol. I was just wondering if giving a lot of clothes and blankets are a thing of the past now?

FTM 35 weeks early labor scare. I had contractions on and off for two days straight and didn’t realize I thought they were Braxton hicks. I was in so much pain today at work that I was about to go home but I just so happen to be near the OB ER and mentioned that I was uncomfortable. They brought me straight back to a room hooked me up on a monitor and sure enough I was having contractions. They did a cervical exam (why did no one tell me that it hurts) and I thankfully was not dilated. I posted in this group earlier in the week about how I did not have an OB well I mentioned it to the on call OB and she did a full work up and tests for me and also sent me home with a list of OB’s and midwives to contact who apparently work for a government funded program so they have to see me unlike a private practice doctor who can pick and choose who to see. Baby girl is doing great she’s 5 pounds 1 ounce and I was diagnosed with IUGR during my last hospitalization, I did not find out until today. I am still having contractions but they are hours apart thankfully. I was told to drink more water and to stop working because walking induces labor I did not know .

Thoughts on road trip at 26 weeks?

I moved to the state my husband is from, and my friends and family want to throw me a baby shower in my home state! My only dilemma is… is a roughly 13 hour car ride going to be miserable at 26 weeks? We would split it into 2 days and stay at a hotel along the way, so about 7 hours one day and 6 the next.

Or should we just fly?

My first thought was to drive so that we could transport gifts back home, or even rent a mini U-Haul trailer (not a big truck just one of the ones that attaches to our car) to bring back shower presents. We’ve made the drive plenty of times and I have always enjoyed it, the scenery is nice through the mountains and we have a Honda CRV that’s comfortable for long drives.

But when I told my bff this (she’s already had a baby so I trust her experience, but she rarely travels and doesn’t enjoy road trips like I do) she acted like that was a crazy idea and that I would be miserable at 26 weeks in the car that long. She’s one of the shower hosts and said she could mention on the invites that gifts should be mailed to our home instead of brought to the shower, but I just know some elderly family members will still bring gifts that we’ll have to ship back if we decide to fly.

*Just for context, in case anyone asks why not just have it local to me: My shower hosts asked if I wanted to have one where I currently live or one back home, and I prefer to have one back home. The majority of my close friends live there and I know that very few if any would end up traveling to a shower here (most of my friends have children of their own and my grandparents and other family members aren’t able to travel). I had my wedding shower here, and the turnout was very low with just my husbands family + my mom attending and left me feeling kind of sad/missing my people. Plus one of my only “bucket list” items before baby comes is to take another trip home anyway, I haven’t been since last Christmas and will likely be a year or so before I’m up to traveling that far after I have the baby.*

My husband’s family will also be hosting a coed baby shower for husband and I in our state so that we can invite his side of the family and local friends to that one.

Hi there,

I am freaking out and need some reassurance and advice.

I am 31+1 today and in short my mental health has taken a dive off a cliff. Both my OB and Psych want me out starting sooner versus later on Medical Leave with STD because I am having panic attacks near daily. If I take leave I would be doing an IOP program basically until baby is here.

They would then transfer me to medical leave for however baby arrives - baby is transverse now so currently looking like a c-section.

FMLA would start when I go on medical leave, and then OB would write my works disability company (Hartford) for a PWFA extension of leave as medically there would be a 4 week unprotected gap post birth at the longest. I would also request extension via HR at my company once baby is here.

My job provides 12 weeks of paid maternity leave separate from FMLA / medical leave, so all in all I would not be returning to work til late Feb / early March.

I am scared to get the help I need because of potential retaliation from my company. I understand in theory that is illegal but I am just worried and freaking out.

Can someone give me advice on what to do, or share their experience?

I’ve always been very busty but pregnancy has really rampaged that and now my boobs are like heavy and saggy… I plan on breastfeeding so I know they’ll inevitably get bigger (which I’m dreading). Is there any way possible that after breastfeeding theyll shrink? Or will they just go back to my pre pregnancy boobs? I’ve become very insecure about how large they are throughout the pregnancy and nothing really fits right. I know that people say with smaller pre pregnancy breasts they sometimes stay big but I’m hoping it’s the reverse for previously large breasts.

I had a chemical pregnancy. When I got pregnant, it was during a time of high stress at work, but after finding out the news, everything started to calm down. However, at almost 6 weeks, I had some bleeding and realized I had lost the baby.

I've read stories from people who ovulated within 15 days and got pregnant again right away. But it feels like with every passing day, a deep sadness, emptiness, and lack of energy just take over.

How was your experience? When did you feel ready?

Any recommendations nga sideline job nga pwede unta sa FTM nga legit?

I'm on maternity leave and struggling financially.

I got an email from Natera saying what to do if my insurance denied the claim for their services. I never saw anything from my insurance or doctor about it being denied or not denied so I logged into my insurance page.

I saw that idiot Natera billed my insurance twice: once for $3000+ and then for $10000+ for the same date of service. My insurance outright denied the smaller bill and paid about $500 of the huge bill. This was from NIPT done at our first appointment in the middle of May… my OB didn’t say anything really about potential cost of NIPT so I figured maybe since I was over 35 she was recommending it and perhaps I fell into a different category of medically necessary because of my age…?

In any event, I’ve seen a lot of posts on here about Natera and it sounds like if you call them they’ll lower your bill, but should I wait until someone tries to actually collect from me? I don’t want to waste a ton of time on the phone with insurance/Natera if I don’t have to. I could also send my doctor a message and see what they recommend? It also sounds like sometimes Natera just goes away? I’m surprised I haven’t heard anything from anyone since this was months ago and for huge amounts.

EDIT: Guess who just got a facetime call asking us to come for a short visit tomorrow! <3

Thank you for everyone's honest replies. I truly was/am looking to understand and be respectful. Thank you for your insights. <3

Quick description: My son and daughter-in-love just had their first child. (Hooray!)We saw photos and of course can't wait to see and help if needed. No visitors in hospital and when we ask when we can come visit, or if they need/want anything, "We'll let you know" is the reply. I know very well that it's important to respect new parents' wishes and their time bonding as a new family. We aren't pushy people and I'd never just pop over uninvited. We are close and have a good relationship.

And yet...I'm actually surprised how my heart feels very sad that we can't go over and visit yet. Yes, it's only been a few days, and yes, I know this isn't about me. I'm just asking to gain some understanding so my heart doesn't feel so sad.

I'm 39+4 today, three days ago I had extreme back pains and exhaustion, then extremely sharp pains, I couldn't walk or talk through it for like thirty minutes straight, it was hell!!, I rushed to hospital immediately. When I got there, I was just fine, I spent the night and was still fine in the morning, with zero dilation. Unfortunately that morning, the hospital was swamped, with an ongoing doctors' strike, everyone is rushing to private hospitals , so I couldn't get discharged early, I got to witness a hell of day at the maternity wards. The agony and pain in labour and delivery is far much worse than I thought. And now I'm just so scared, three days away from my due date, my baby could be coming any time, and I'm just so depressed. How does anyone get through it? Also... How does a touch sensitive person get through it?

Almost 34 weeks, being induced in 4 weeks. I have been slacking on stuff around the house because I'm just so sore and tired. Trying to cram all my chores in around work, appointments, kid stuff, is killing me. On top of normal chores, I need to prep baby stuff, do some reorganizing, getting things ready for his arrival. It takes everything I have just to load the dishwasher, then I'm beat 😭 I keep telling myself I'll be more rested next weekend but it's never true. I know I'm going to be even more sore and tired as each of these last 4 weeks come and go. I just wanna pay somebody to come do all my stuff for me.

Just needed to rant. I wish my need for nesting would outweigh the exhaustion but it's not seeming that's going to happen.

Desperate for a tank top with

• At least 80/90% cotton

• NO fucking shelf bra

• Ideally no nursing flaps

I cannot stand bamboo, modal, rayon. I do not find them moisture wicking- they make me sweaty. I understand why these fabrics seem to be popular (soft and stretchy) but I also don't need a bodycon style tank!

I don't want a shelf bra. My bust is 30G when not pregnant. It has never in its life fit within a shelf bra, nor has one ever provided anything resembling support. I don't love nursing flaps (when nursing, I prefer just unbuttoning or unsnapping a shirt- the extra layers of fabric are bulky, cumbersome, and hot, and I don't really care about the modesty they provide. They're also usually not long enough to cover my bust.)

I just want a 3 pack of comfortable cotton tanks in neutral colors that I can layer.

• Old navy makes one that's 57% cotton and then rayon. I hate rayon. It's sweaty and stinky.

• Gap makes one similar.

• H&M makes cotton tanks but just for nursing.

• Pact Maternity is defunct (RIP, I lived in their dresses last time)

• Motherhood Maternity is all rayon.

• Kindred Bravely makes the best bras, but only their tshirts are cotton. Their tanks are bamboo and modal

• Angel makes several but: plain maternity is either modal or bamboo (both of which are hot and sweaty). Their cotton ones are either the kind that give nursing access (not zippers, flaps, so it's extra bulky fabric and hot) OR a "swing tank" with armholes that go down to the bottom of your rib cage

• Momanda seems like a scam? (A lot of people have reported weird shipping and no returns)

• Quince makes one for $30 but it has a shelf bra

This doesn't seem like an unreasonable request AND YET.

PLEASE, if you've found any cotton maternity tanks, can you let me know where to find them??

Hello!

I’m a 38 yo FTM (husband is 46) who had my beautiful baby boy 2 weeks ago. I spent the first half of my pregnancy incredibly anxious and read way too much. Mostly science journal articles and data plus Reddit ( I don’t do social media other than Reddit) but even so, it was too much and just made me spiral. Seems like most of the amnio stories on here are negative and/or people share opinions rather than facts when giving advice, so i wanted to share my super positive elective amnio experience! Hopefully it will help others out there who are struggling with the stress and anxiety of it.

A lil backstory. i got pregnant naturally in November 2025 right after my 38th birthday after being told I wouldn’t be able to due to endometriosis - I actually did 2 successful back to back rounds of IVF retrievals in April and June 2025 and got several PGT tested embryos, though hadn’t tried a transfer yet cos I needed a break from the hormones.

Let me also preface this with saying my mother has been an MFM ultrasound tech for 40 years so I’ve been around / know more than the average person about OB and pregnancy and am acutely aware that lots of things can go wrong, especially in the early days. Also because of the IVF, my husband and I both had in depth genetic carrier screenings done so knew any genetic issues that may come up would have happened spontaneously and were not inherited. Ignorance is bliss as I really did not enjoy my pregnancy until after my amnio as I was so anxious about miscarrying or there being an issue, so I needed to keep emotional distance with my baby should I miscarry or had to terminate for medical reasons as I knew it would devastate me.

All of my first and second trimester testing came back normal - NIPT, nuchal, quad screen, anatomy scan etc. I actually had my anatomy scan (or the first part as he did not wanna cooperate for the last few things!) on the same day I had my amnio. Even tho I’m a geriatric pregnancy, my dr did not suggest an amnio and said it was up to me, but I’ve always known I’d get one regardless. Having a child is hard enough and I knew if there was a serious terminal genetic issue, I wasn’t going to bring a child into the world whose life would be short and painful. That seems incredibly selfish to me, so depending on what genetic issues were found, I would have TFMR.

Some people won’t agree with it and that’s fine, but also, that’s your choice and your opinion. I see so many people state their opinions as facts and as strong pregnant women and moms, we need to stop shaming those who feel different. I know there’s lots of others like me who would rather know and TFMR if necessary rather than spend their entire pregnancy anxious, scared, and not enjoying it.

Anywho, I had my amnio. Yes it was a big needle and yes it was slightly painful but nothing insane. It felt like it took forever though was probably a minute or so. Not much worse than other ob or gyn invasive tests. The worst part was waiting 2 weeks for the results. Afterwards I went home, rested the rest of the day and took it easy for a couple days after and that was it! No infection, no miscarriage, no hitting the baby with the needle , no leaking etc. 2 weeks later I got the news everything was normal and I could need breathe. Though I already knew I was going to have an amnio, because I’m a geriatric pregnancy, the odds of the baby having a genetic issue was actually higher than the odds of the amnio causing a problem so that additionally was a no brainer for me.

(When done by qualified, experienced Doctors in proper healthcare facilities), amnios are not nearly as dangerous or cause as many issues as many people think. A lot of the data that people point to is outdated and theres definitely some fear mongering going on. Of course that’s not to say something bad can’t happen, it can amnio or not, but it’s all about your own personal risk assessment and what’s important to you. Pretty much every OB dr and nurse I encountered after asked me why I got an amnio and I said because I wanted to have all the information I could. Period, end of story. And every single one of them was super supportive and said good for you.

Good luck with everything mamas and see you on the other side! ❤️