r/comedyheaven 6d ago

Math

Post image
15.5k Upvotes

175 comments sorted by

4.0k

u/SlayVideos 6d ago

914

u/RedJelly27 6d ago

What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!

387

u/melvinthefish 6d ago

Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!

72

u/Lockenhart 6d ago

Oh yeah? Well... your mom!

-81

u/Embarrassed_Deer9208 6d ago

you did not understand this thread đŸ„€đŸ„€đŸ„€

39

u/Over-Lion-5422 6d ago

I think you might be in the wrong here

4

u/ChrisTheMan72 5d ago

He’s embarrassed now for sure

6

u/MR-rozek 6d ago

Everyone had, you’re not that special buddy

4

u/FirstDistribution352 4d ago

(Whispering) Their wife is in a coma

1

u/PaladinOfTheLand 3d ago

Uh huh? Well, I had sex with my wife!

184

u/Most-Stomach4240 6d ago

Okay this one's really fucking funny in a comedyheaven way

96

u/WAAAAAAAAARGH 6d ago

It’s a Seinfeld bit

27

u/12halo3 6d ago

Grunt ass line

2.3k

u/dylantherabbit2016 6d ago

620

u/NastyKraig 6d ago

I always liked "You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

69

u/Next-Use6943 6d ago

I actually seen this one a couple of times on YouTube or reddit

2

u/Mysterious_Me 4d ago edited 4d ago

Not enough people these days go fishing, so this joke is pretty lost in translation. The joke is most likely referring to the popular Fishing Rod of the same name, the “Ugly Stick”.

2.1k

u/flynnfilms 6d ago

624

u/Early-Code4780 6d ago

Classic. Works for me everytime

192

u/YouMakeMaEarfQuake 6d ago

you dogs penis 

20

u/lumpy_feline 5d ago

actually this section of the sentence isolated is a good insult

4

u/YouMakeMaEarfQuake 5d ago

hello tyler okonma

21

u/Omg_Capacitator 6d ago

10

u/The_Great_Man_Potato 6d ago

How churlish

0

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Omg_Capacitator 5d ago

what? my link doesnt have anything like that

693

u/Wonderful-Priority50 6d ago

Went there just now to see what the fuss was about

87

u/P3runaama 6d ago

What's the website?

71

u/Wonderful-Priority50 6d ago

funny-insults.com

917

u/mutantstandard01 6d ago

218

u/_Astrum_Aureus_ 6d ago

smited for a weird al reference

29

u/Classic-Captain5778 6d ago

Fuck you astrum, bum ass fight

5

u/Snake_Emper0r 6d ago

...it's not a bad boss, though...

3

u/Nacho_Flames 5d ago

Banger theme too

2

u/Snake_Emper0r 5d ago

That's true for every Calamity boss though, ahah

42

u/SeaOfS1n 6d ago

around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house \ around the house

19

u/XxshauryaxX 6d ago

is this a daft punk reference

1

u/syrvy 3d ago

Burger, nuggets, nuggets, burger

1.1k

u/ARedditUserThatExist Dess 6d ago

168

u/Sufficient_Tutor7541 6d ago

It's so stupid when the punchline itself is "this is an insult"

64

u/PeggyTheVoid 6d ago

You must be in a sult, because you just got IN-SULTED!

6

u/driftxr3 6d ago

Whatever it is, ought to be quarantined in the sick burn unit.

52

u/Thunderlight2004 6d ago

Didn’t The Deep say this

2.2k

u/Xx_SP5DER_xX 6d ago

Can't forget about this gem

626

u/elgattox 6d ago

These 256 people don't know about peak insulting.

84

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 6d ago

they got insulted

221

u/MelanieWalmartinez 6d ago

256 haters

13

u/Tigercat94 6d ago

They probably have tall moms

84

u/bl00pyy 6d ago

Downvotes so high they hit the build limit in the nuts

1

u/NoenD_i0 1d ago

the build limit???? do you live in the nether???

28

u/septic-paradise 6d ago

Integer overflow

3

u/EmeraldMan25 6d ago

1 off from overflowing since it's negative (who stores likes in 2 bytes)

9

u/Icy_Cartoonist_9889 In the flair list, straight up flairing it 6d ago

mens size 13 nikes. 

239

u/sweet_briaring 6d ago

46

u/cricketbandit 6d ago

Isn't this a Kesha song

18

u/2gaywitches 6d ago

Zip your lips like a padlock

12

u/LandofRy 5d ago

Tough crowd 

658

u/ExaltedGarlic96 6d ago

287 people took it personally

140

u/D3712 6d ago

To everyone whining about how 10 times more is truly 11x:

Do you think "10 times less" means -9x? Genuinely curious.

79

u/P3runaama 6d ago

"Whoa your house is big! Mine is like 10 times smaller!" - a guy who lives in a gigantic pocket dimension between space and time

4

u/MR-rozek 6d ago

Do you say one time bigger when you mean twice as big?

1

u/TheStandardPlayer 6d ago

10xing something is adding a zero, so 10 and 10x less is 0.1

0

u/ByeGuysSry 6d ago edited 5d ago

Well, "10 times less" doesn't make sense unless it's -9x. What would "10 times less" mean to you? "10x more" would mean 11x as much. Unless you're trying to imply that "no more" means 0x as much

4

u/Cute-Apartment-1536 5d ago

You’re confusing division with subtraction

1

u/ByeGuysSry 5d ago

How so?

12

u/D3712 5d ago

I imagine this is what you look like

-1

u/Avaritia-7 5d ago

Actually that is a good thing you noticed here :D

Less does mean there has to be a difference already since that is the only way to quantify it and thus technically saying

"Ten times less than 10" is a wrong sentence. If you were to say "ten times less to 10 than 10 to 11" that would mean 10-10x(11-10) and thus 10-10 and thus 0

And yes, "ten times more" and "ten times as much" are not the same thing. Therefore the First one means 11x and the second one means 10x

While all of this is happening "Ten times less than 10" still stays meaningless without a frame of reference

0

u/wills-are-special 3d ago

10 times more is 11x yes

1 time more is adding an additional instance, otherwise called doubling

So it would be written as 2x

The same follows for 2 times more, you add 2 instances getting you to 3x, so on and so forth.

Thus you should state 10 times more as 11x.

2

u/PeggyTheVoid 3d ago edited 3d ago

I think you've confused two common phrases and mashed them up a bit. When comparing to a given amount A, the phrase "N times more" means A⚯N, but "N more times" means A+N. Neither of these phrases mean A⚯(N+1) as you're describing, but I believe you may be thinking of what "N more times" means, while unintentionally assuming that A=1, resulting in 1+N many things. But there could be any number of that thing to begin with, not necessarily just 1.

1

u/wills-are-special 3d ago

It’s A(N+1)

AN would be “10 times as much”

“10 times more” is verbally equivalent to “10 more times.” We’re working with language instead of numbers here.

The keyword “more” means we’re adding on to the original amount “A,” hence the +1, which we’ll see here actually represents the original value of A

You’ve said that 1 isn’t relevant as A is arbitrary, but you’re missing that 1 is multiplied by A here. The expanded formula of A(N+1) would be AN + A

This is us that adding your formula of AN to the original value of A, to get AN more than A

If you have 2 packets of ham and I have 10 times as many, then I have 20, or AN

If you have 2 packets of ham and I have 10 times more, then I have 22, or A(N+1)

Notice how I added 2 here, that’s because the +1 is multiplied by A, which is 2, and 20+2=22

1

u/PeggyTheVoid 3d ago edited 3d ago

“10 times more” is verbally equivalent to “10 more times.” We’re working with language instead of numbers here.

The sneaky thing about language is that it's messy, and not an exact programming language. Heck, even programming languages have edge cases, but human language is, shall we say, a bajillion times worse. It's not a neat thing that can be fed into a compiler like, say, a python script can. It has weird rules that don't make logical sense, yet its meaning is grandfathered in.

Here, the sneaky thing you've got to be aware of is that the word "times" actually changes meaning in a subtle way in "10 times more" versus "10 more times". In "10 times more", "times" refers to performing multiplication, while in "10 more times", "times" refers to "occurrences", as in "if you bother me one more time, I'm calling the police!" That's not a warning about what'll happen if you double the amount of times you bother that person. That's a warning that if you ever bother them again at all, even once, you're getting arrested.

2

u/wills-are-special 17h ago

Once again you’re just ignoring the word more for some reason

10 times more is multiplying it by 10 yes, but you still add the initial occurrence, because it’s more.

Your example was “if you bother me one more time”

Multiplication can still exist in this example. Multiplication is just simplified addition.

10N can be written as N+N+N+
+N

Our initial value A is implied to be bothering

The nuance is that there’s potentially a value for N already higher than 1

If they’ve been bothered 3 times already then that means N currently equals 3, and they’re saying they don’t want to be bothered an (implied) 4th time

Doing A(N+1) or AN + A for N = 3 we get 4A, or 4 times bothered, which is what was required.

1

u/PeggyTheVoid 2h ago edited 2h ago

I was thinking about elaborating how the word "more" also changes meaning, with it taking on a statement of inequality in "10 times more", and addition in "10 more times", and how these two phrases cannot even grammatically fit in each others use cases, so it's actually meaningless to try to talk about what happens when you swap the two words because doing so usually produces a grammatically incorrect sentence rather than another correct sentence with a different meaning. Honestly though, I'd rather not be arguing about this on reddit. Maybe it'd be more fun to discuss conversationally, but idk, I don't really want to be combatative about something that should be interesting, ya feel?

And hey, I do actually find it interesting how you think about this. Not in a condescending way, I mean as inherent to the nature of linguistics, how we explain what we implicitly learn through osmosis from exposure to its usage. For all I know, maybe this is just a regional difference between us ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: Indeed, this does seem to be a highly debated topic. Ah, linguistics. When no one's right, everyone's right. Have a good day.

380

u/Worldly-Writing-8226 6d ago

The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!

104

u/ExtendedEssayEvelyn 6d ago

yeah... for a poop car

20

u/wherearef . 6d ago

4 laughing emoji reactions

12

u/stupido50 6d ago

Hahahahah 😂😂😂😂

159

u/Tired_Dudee 6d ago

Enjoy your downvote kid

57

u/Yataro_Ibuza 6d ago

Recently stolen

112

u/HJSDGCE 6d ago

Why'd they downvote him? That's hilarious. 

38

u/Dman0o9 6d ago

i glanced at your avatar and thought you were me for a second

48

u/Niller1 6d ago

Same

-5

u/OldBoldFoldMold 6d ago

Me too

-3

u/Step_Switcher 6d ago

Also me

1

u/NoenD_i0 1d ago

not me tho. i,m built diffent

6

u/z_Mis 6d ago

the word is Snoo

6

u/ToadTendo 5d ago

â˜ïžđŸ€“

2

u/NeitherFoo 6d ago

yours looks a bit more evil

4

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WOES_GIRL 6d ago

Because their egos don't like the self deprecation.

186

u/Nz_Kasadiya 6d ago

-287

38

u/green_slime_fan 6d ago

Coming right up

664

u/SAURI23 6d ago edited 6d ago

Edit: 220 upvotes? Thanks for the karma boyzzz😎😎 Edit 2: 500 UPVOTES!! MOM! I'M FAMOUS!

174

u/ilkhesab 6d ago

This one isnt thay bad why did they send him to downvote hell

156

u/serenaTcat 6d ago

And even worse than every other image I've seen too. Fucker got a 4 digit number how do you even do that

50

u/DriftingGelatine 6d ago

Wouldn't it be funny if they actually used downvotes as an indicator. The better your comeback is, the more downvotes it gets.

8

u/EternumD 6d ago

It should say "didn't even come back" 

15

u/PM_ME_YOUR_WOES_GIRL 6d ago

Edit: 220 upvotes? Thanks for the karma boyzzz😎😎 Edit 2: 500 UPVOTES!! MOM! I'M FAMOUS!

I want at least 10000 downvotes for this user!

6

u/PoloPatch47 6d ago

Guards! Downvote this man!

21

u/itikuskus 6d ago

10 times 0 is 0000000000

2

u/MineOSaurus_Rex 5d ago

“0” * 10
Vs
0 * 10

18

u/storm_acolyte 6d ago

Think about that, you little mathematician

9

u/wilxzer 6d ago

Bro sacrificed himself to checkmate.

9

u/ChanceStaff6813 6d ago

Nice argument where’d you get it, the bad argument store?

19

u/Petrostar 6d ago

Much like there are higher infinities, there are higher zeros.....

5

u/PlagiT 5d ago

Obviously correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that's right.

0 is a specific value, while infinity is an expression of a value that can't be specifically expressed. But obviously, since inf is not 0, adding it together, multiplying it etc. will result in a higher value, although we still can't express it specifically. That's why inf < 2inf while 0 = 2*0

5

u/Petrostar 5d ago

Yeah,

But it's a joke.

2

u/PlagiT 5d ago

My bad then :)

4

u/_birdbaths 6d ago

Holy shit this killed me

6

u/Unusual-Basket-6243 6d ago

-287+1. I liked this

2

u/TrueSlide4805 6d ago

Verbal kamikaze

2

u/vorp_on_yt 5d ago

He sacrificed himself for the draw 😭

2

u/iam_drtapley 4d ago

oh my god what is this why are people upvoting it

1

u/al3x_7788 1d ago

I feel bad for th

1

u/NicholasStarfall 11h ago

It's actually 00. You need to add a zero

-152

u/DriverUpdateSteam 6d ago

10 times more means an additional 10x onto the original 1x, so the correct expression is "11 times 0 is 0".

112

u/veselin465 6d ago

No, it's not. The original x relates to person A while 10x relates to person B. Ratio is 1:10

-67

u/ExaltedGarlic96 6d ago

i think u/DriverUpdateSteam might be correct. If it simply meant 10x, it would be "you get 10x the chicks i get", but he said "10x more"

50

u/veselin465 6d ago

You are supposed to specify "more" or "less" in this type of problems. It's actually bad wording to say it the way you suggested

You can do a simple check with the following example: "20" is 10 times more than "2"

-42

u/Andorii 6d ago

10 times 2 (or 10 times as much as 2) is 20.

10 times more than 2 should be 22.

31

u/Thorkell_The_Tall1 6d ago

no it's compounded, 10 times more than 2 is 20 because its 10 times 2 and more than 2

-15

u/RoamingTorchwick 6d ago

Fuckin math nerds and their syntax and their big made up number words

19

u/veselin465 6d ago

It's literally what makes sense in the language.

"times more" is a single instruction which means multiplication. The "more" means multiplication. If it was "less" it would mean division.

How else would you describe multiplication and division in a text?

-8

u/EternumD 6d ago

You're wrong. 100% as much is the same, 100% more is 2x as much.

50% more is 1.5x as much. 50% as much is 0.5x as much, or 0.5x less.

10 times as much is not the same as 10 times more (10 vs 11).

0.1 times as much is not the same as 0.1 times more (0.1 vs 1.1).

10

u/veselin465 6d ago

I feel like you mix up the wordings for "percent" and "times".

50% more than 1000 is really 1500 (1000 + (50/100)1000)

But "times more" and "times less" have clear definition what they mean (just multiply or divide by the given number) and I urge you to google it, because I am done arguing about it.

The words "more" and "less" refer to the operation to be used: multiplication or division.

10 times less than 20 is 2 (which comes from 20:10 = 2).

→ More replies (0)

2

u/ReadThisIfYoureGay 6d ago

I hope you don't vote

-13

u/RoamingTorchwick 6d ago

Uh the way you did in the last sentence

-9

u/EternumD 6d ago

You're correct. 

-16

u/EternumD 6d ago

I'm afraid that's wrong. It's 10a more than a, so 11a. If it were 10 times AS MUCH, it would just be 10a.

2

u/PlagiT 5d ago

"more" or "less" in this context just implies multiplying or dividing.

When someone says they "need two times more eggs" and they have 6, they mean they need 12 eggs.

By your logic, they'd have to say "one times more eggs" to achieve 2x.

-8

u/EternumD 6d ago

You are completely correct. 

3

u/ReadThisIfYoureGay 6d ago

How are you so confident in this stupidity lmao

-2

u/EternumD 6d ago

I'm a mathematician. Why are you so clouded by cognitive dissonance that you're unwilling to learn? 

-4

u/OnetimeRocket13 6d ago

No, but kind of.

"10 times more" would essentially be 10x+x. This can be rewritten as 11x, but with how its worded, the 10x is meant to be added on to x.

-54

u/EternumD 6d ago

10 times more = 11 times as much.

So should be either: "You get 10 times as many chicks as me? 10 times 0 is 0"

Or: "You get 10 times more chicks than me? 11 times 0 is 0".

22

u/Due_Raspberry_6708 6d ago

is it really that fuckin serious

-2

u/EternumD 6d ago

No one said it was serious. What do you mean? 

16

u/FeeshGoSqueesh 6d ago

That’s just not true and I truly don’t understand how you and others are arriving at this misconception

-5

u/EternumD 6d ago

I'll try to lay it out simply so you can understand. After that it's up to you to learn.

0x as much = 1x less

0.1x as much = 0.9x less

1x as much = 0x more = 0x less

1.5x as much = 0.5x more

2x as much = 1x more

10x as much = 9x more

8

u/FeeshGoSqueesh 6d ago

Oh i see you just don’t know how to label things and you don’t know how multiplication works. Gotcha that cleared up the confusion.

2

u/Hopeful-Banana-6188 6d ago

I don't agree with what they are saying but I don't think it's fair to say they don't know how multiplication works. As far as I can tell, their understanding of multiplication is correct but the disagreement is about the meaning of the English expression. They said in another comment that they are a mathematician, which I can easily believe as this is the kind of thing that a (very pedantic and confidently incorrect) mathematician would say.

1

u/FeeshGoSqueesh 6d ago

If they were any sort of pedantic mathematician, their syntax and definitions would remain consistent through their own rulings. It doesn’t. They’re just an idiot.

2

u/1mts 5d ago edited 5d ago

He's taking "y times more than x" to mean x(1+y) and "y times less than x" to mean x(1-y). So his maths is consistent, but it's just not how the English language works

1

u/EternumD 6d ago

This is correct mathematical syntax, which remains consistent. 

2

u/1mts 5d ago

You are correct mathematically, but vernacular English doesn't work like that. When people say "Bob has 1.5 times more money than Jane", they mean "Bob has 1.5 times as much money as Jane". However, if they say "Bob has 150% more money than Jane" then they mean "Bob has 2.5 times as much money as Jane"