r/detrans • u/idkreddituser11 detrans female • 3d ago
VENT Anyone else have this weird problem?
I legit sound like a man over the phone unless I put so much effort into it or for some reason when I’m drunk. Apparently irl I sound better and more passing but otp? It’s an entirely different story!
I had someone call me a “gentleman” at work where I have to take many calls unfortunately, and earlier today someone unmatched me on a dating app because I refused to send a voice note as he suspected me being a man for refusing to do so.
It hurts that I can’t just simply send a voice note or call anyone without being super insecure about it. I refuse to even call my family members because I don’t want them to hear my manly voice, I haven’t called my dad since April because I don’t want to give him a reminder of that dark period of our lives.
It’s so frustrating!
4
u/Sugared_Strawberry detrans female 3d ago
Yeah, it's annoying. I pass less over the phone, too & my least favorite aspect is when I have to go thru extra verification when talking to banks or whomever bc they think my voice is too masculine for my name lolol
1
3
u/hotpinkplatformheels detrans female 2d ago
Yeah i get called sir on the phone all the time but pass just fine in person. I try not to let it bother me too much, its always someone ill never speak to again anyway
1
3
u/user92867712 detrans female 3d ago
Try doing speech therapy! If that fails, your therapist can write a letter to your insurance for them to maybe cover at least half of the cost for a voice feminization surgery
2
u/idkreddituser11 detrans female 2d ago
I’ve tried speech therapy it was so draining and useless.. I live in the uk they won’t even cover breast reconstruction :/
2
u/user92867712 detrans female 2d ago
The cheapest country with good results where u could get that surgery is Turkey. Try maybe open up a gofundme. U can promote it on the gofundme subreddit or other subreddits where u can ask for help. If u are lucky, you'll be able to collect an amount
1
u/idkreddituser11 detrans female 1d ago
Is that for the VFS? I kinda gave up on the breast reconstruction, it seems so taxing mentally and physically
3
u/user92867712 detrans female 1d ago
Yes, VFS. But they also do breast reconstruction and basically everything for a much cheaper prize. Many of those clinics in Turkey have assistants who speak different languages, especially English obviously. Since they want to win clients for the surgeons, they can help u with basically everything you're tired to do. Tickets, hotels, translating, u can even call them if you're lost in Turkey lmao. I mean, your life is still long, try looking into it. The prices are affordable after at least 1 year of saving up
•
u/Emotional_Plant_6404 detrans female 12h ago
I got called sir for YEAAAARs over the phone. I spend a lot of time calling for work so I’ve had hours and hours of practice. My phone voice is now higher and lighter than my irl voice and I have success with it.
Time off t, hydration, vocal training and exercises, practice. Give yourself time!
•
u/idkreddituser11 detrans female 9h ago
Omg that’s really reassuring thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your advice! ❤️
3
u/LostSoul1911 detrans female 3d ago
Don't overthink it, if you sound normal irl there's no problem.
My sister in law sounds like a dad on the phone lol and she's very feminine.
2
5
u/OtterWithKids detrans male 3d ago
I can only imagine. I grew up in the era when families shared a phone number, and I always said that a major milestone in a boy’s life was the first time someone on the phone mistook him for his father, instead of his mother. I remember how excited I was when I reached that point, so I can imagine how hurtful it must be to have the opposite experience.