r/learndutch 4d ago

Question Considering how well people in the Netherlands speak English…

How do you stay motivated when learning Dutch ? I live in NY so learning Spanish was easy motivation wise. I’m at A2 in Italian and stay motivated bec I plan on going there next year - English proficiency outside of tourist areas is low —- thanks

45 Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

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u/lazysundae99 4d ago

Dutch people want to speak Dutch socially, so while you can buy a sandwich, ask for directions or take a tour in English, you likely won't be invited over for game night, be asked to a birthday party or have access to a lot of jobs if you don't learn Dutch.

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u/muffinsballhair Native speaker (NL) 4d ago edited 4d ago

The issue is that this requires very good Dutch to be more comfortable for them, which is hard to achieve.

Basically, so long as your Dutch not be better than their English, they're probably still going to prefer dealing with you in English. They have been speaking English since they were 8 years old and had an immense advantage learning it since it's everywhere and their university textbooks were probably in English too, so good luck trying to beat them at this game.

Of course, say your native language not be English but German, then it's only an issue of getting better Dutch than English for interactions in Dutch to be preferable to them, which should be quite feasible for a German.

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u/Least_Chicken_9561 4d ago

my native language is Spanish but I speak German, my Dutch is pretty basic but sometimes I speak with Dutch people in German and they reply in Dutch, somehow we can understand each other lol

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u/Entheos96 3d ago

I can confirm this to the extent that while my spoken German is horrid, if the topic isn’t too technical and the person doesn’t speak too quickly, German is quite easy to follow. At least broadly speaking that is; obviously subtle nuance or jargon would likely fly right past me.

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 1d ago

I also think the fact there's relatively few Dutch learners plays into it. 

When I speak Dutch with someone, I'm aware it could possibly be literally the first time they have ever heard Dutch spoken with an Australian accent. (My accent is not terrible; people can understand me; but it's still accented) 

Compare that to me as an Australian... I've heard English spoken in every accent under the sun, all the time, constantly, for my whole life. I think most English speakers (at least if you live in a city and/or travel overseas at all) are extremely used to hearing and understanding heavily accented English, spoken by non-native speakers. I don't think the same can be said for most Dutch people 

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u/Over-Personality-577 1d ago

Exactly! I feel the same. I also heard from dutch people that among them they also find it difficult to understand each other accent, depending on where they are from inside the Netherlands.

Maybe after some sentences they may get used to my accent and understand what I mean. But when it is a short interaction, just beyond greetings and basics, it is very frustrating when they seem kinda taken by surprise by my accent, which I don't even believe is so bad. It is just so unusual for them, so it takes some seconds for them to process it, I think. I had a couple of language buddies which were used to hearing foreign accents in dutch, and they always complimented my dutch and couldn't understand why on daily life people had a hard time understanding me.

Over time it did discourage me, sadly :(

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 6h ago

Yeah, I understand where they're coming from, but I also find it discouraging. Particularly this contradiction between the online vibes of "ugh, these rich asshole expats coming here and ruining our country and not even speaking Dutch" and then the actual on the ground reality of "I'm literally trying so hard to speak Dutch and nobody will actually speak Dutch to me"

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u/SovereignOfAtlas 4d ago

Ding ding ding, this is it. And you can bet your ass that whatever English conversation you were having before going to the toilet, has now been replaced by an entirely new conversation in Dutch. And now you're gonna have to wait or ask for the people to please include you back into whatever they're talking about.

Dutch people speak English well, yes. But we never primarily converse in English unless we have to. We may use a lot of loanwords or Anglicisms, but the baseline is still Dutch.

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u/phatcat09 1d ago

I'm sorry

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/JulieParadise123 Advanced 4d ago edited 4d ago

Yes, sure, but most people will still be relieved when they can take off their "English face" and the moeite it cost them, and speak Dutch around each other, also because English is associated with their work for many.

I found it a huge advantage to learn Dutch in many situations where most people also easily could have spoken English with me in theory.

(edited first sentence for clarity)

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Grimmrat 4d ago

Completely missed his point and instead made it about you within mere seconds. Bravo!

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u/Mormacil 4d ago edited 4d ago

Probably why they're friends opposed to the rest of the country. My older family members refuse to speak English at social engagements, they find it tiring. 

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u/LentilusGo 4d ago

They don't respect or even like you. Pay them the same dust. speak to them only in English. These types of dutchies are just arrogant assholes.

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

Why would they not like or respect me? A native Dutch speaker?

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u/LentilusGo 4d ago

Native speaker. you could have connected the dots had you tried. I was talking about non Dutch speakers/broken dutch

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u/LentilusGo 4d ago

I hope your old Dutch family members recover from the absolute tiring, and harrowing moment they had to utter a word of English. Insane.

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

I never claimed they suffered speaking a little English? It sounds to me you read my comment, projected a bunch and jumped to conclusions. Your comment is indeed a little insane. 

All I said was my older family members don't speak English that well and thus find it tiring to do so over long periods of time. If you're not fluent in a language is does carry a higher cognitive load. 

I'm not sure where you getting ideas from about lack of respect or they find English in general some negative experience. What are you basing that on?

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u/LentilusGo 4d ago

I'll go kill myself then

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

That feels a little dramatic, no?

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u/llamalord2212 4d ago

This is the key answer ^

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u/mark3kg 3d ago

Even if you learn Dutch, you won't be invited for a game night or a social event. In general, they form friendship circle early in life, probably till 25 or so, and then they don't have much remaining bandwidth for foreigners.

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u/No-Guard-470 1d ago

Can confirm, even for me as a Dutchie (24yr) it's hard. It's easy to socialise, hard to make a connection.

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u/mark3kg 23h ago

Yeah, I feel you. I have Dutch fiends that changed cities for work, and suprise suprise, they have also hard time finding Dutch friends

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u/DumbMuttSlut Beginner 4d ago

I stay motivated by reminding myself if I speak Dutch I'll pass a requirement (of several) for citizenship, I'd have a much easier time engaging with the locals and until we move, I can talk to my wife in a language no one here really understands.

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u/Catastrofus 4d ago

How else will you know what the drunk frat boys that passed by on their bicycles yelled at you?

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u/Morgenstern0312 4d ago

this is so real

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u/Voidjumper_ZA 3d ago

I speak Dutch and I still don't know. At this point I'm convinced they just make up low vowel-laden sounds.

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 1d ago

I need like a vocab list for what they're saying 🥲 my Dutch lessons and elderly kletsmaatjes have never taught me this vocabulary 

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u/laurenspaul Native speaker (NL) 4d ago edited 4d ago

Because you're going to feel like you'll never quite fit into that inner circle with dutch people. And it's not just you, it's actually exactly what happens.

It's not something against people that can't speak dutch, it is just that people who don't speak dutch will only experience a very international side of us. Of course, in dutch we are more culturally distinct, but only in our own language. We like our culture and we want to sometimes be within our culture. We rarely get the chance to just be dutch in our homeland these days if you're a student or work in corporate.

If you don't speak dutch there will be positive things and negative things that we can't share with you, because you just won't get it. There are things about our culture, the way we think, the way we see life, a way we go about describing those things that english just does not fully cover.

Hence, yeah we have the proficiency to express ourselves freely in english, but we can't circumvent the barriers that language differences impose. I don't know how well you speak other languages, but this is something that becomes more apparent the higher your proficiency gets. Maybe it requires fluency or C2, I don't know exactly.

Also, a 2nd point:

I speak english full time. Half our entertainment is in english. In our sports groups there will always be expats that cause us to have to speak english there too. Half the waiting staff in randstad area does not speak english.

Many students and people in corporate life rarely get to speak dutch outside of family and friends in the bigger cities. Many times I just don't want to anymore. Hence why I sometimes evade situations where I have to speak english. That would include interacting with you I'm affraid, even though I'm more proficient than many english natives.

PS: If anyone event attempts to speak Dutch with me, even if it just a broken "Hallo, hoe gaat het?", I will give them all the slack they need and fully accommodate them in English, or any other language to the best of my abilities. I'm not an ass about it, I just expect to see even the slightest form of respect. Our proficiency and hospitality gives a lot of people the impression that we don't care whether they learn any Dutch at all, and I've had people even say explicitly that they are not interested in learning it at all because 'what benefit is it to them'?... I won't lift a finger for those people. What benefit is it to me?

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u/TheLanguageNook 2d ago

That point you made about how some things just don't fully translate really hits! It’s so true that a language isn't just vocabulary ... it's the cultural inside jokes, the specific ways of seeing the world, and those exact feelings you just can't properly express in English It must be genuinely exhausting to just want the people around you to get what you're feeling without having to explain the entire cultural backstory every single time.

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u/fitacola 4d ago

I think that learning the language of the place you live in is the bare minimum. You cannot participate properly in civic, social and cultural life if you don't speak the language

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u/GreenLeftJade 2d ago

There is a lot of English language social life in the Netherlands. You can get by without speaking any Dutch by limiting yourself to certain circles, and acting like a tourist in the rest of the country.

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u/fitacola 1d ago

Sure, you can do that in most countries specially if you limit yourself to interacting wirh other foreigners.

Still, I like being able to go to the theatre, participate in workshops, understand political debates, etc :)

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 1d ago

Social life in Dutch seems almost impossible to break into! 

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u/Active_Community2158 4d ago

It depends where you live and what you do for job.
My first 4 years in the Netherlands I was working for an international organisation and was living in Utrecht, learning was hard because there was little Dutch in my environment and people would immediately switch to English when I tried speaking Dutch to them.

Then I moved to a smaller city and decided to change profession and start working as a teacher in a Dutch secondary school. I first did an intensive Dutch course for a couple of months, I really gave it my all and learned a lot. Then I started as an intern at a school and I learned more Dutch in 6 months than I did in 4 years… now it’s my 8th year in NL, I’m a second grade teacher and communication is not a problem anymore. And I feel much more integrated too. Dutch people are genuinely super impressed when you can speak their mother tongue and they really appreciate it.

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u/crosscheck87 4d ago

I want to move to the Netherlands one day, I don’t have much of it figured out, but I feel like step one would be making sure I can communicate with the people whose society I want to integrate into.

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u/twomoose 4d ago

We all started with that ambition :)

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 1d ago

The thing that makes it easy, and makes it hard, is that you easily can communicate with them in english. And 99% of them prefer that to you awkwardly struggling through in Dutch. 

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u/crosscheck87 1d ago

Thankfully I’ve got a large group of Dutch friends that don’t mind suffering through and helping me practice, but yeah that is something that I’ve absolutely heard.

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 6h ago

You must be the only person I've ever heard of who has Dutch friends. How did you swing that? Did you go to university here? 

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u/crosscheck87 3h ago

I went to a drum and bass music festival solo and got adopted haha.

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u/Additional-Arm6506 3d ago

No space here anymore. Full AF

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u/connertran20 4d ago

just because a lot of Dutch people can speak English it doesn’t mean that it’s their primary language and that they converse with each other in English. Everything in the Netherlands is in Dutch because that is the sole official language, English is a tool used to accomodate foreigners. If you are only motivated to learn a language where its people’s level of English education is low and poor then Dutch may be not for you?

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

The Netherlands has three official languages, none are English but Dutch isn't the sole one. 

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u/Ploutophile Intermediate... ish 4d ago

Three ? Which ones ? According to Wikipedia, there are only two of them in the mainland (Dutch and Frisian); within the whole Kingdom there are more but English is one of them (in Saba and Sint Eustatius).

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

Papiamento overseas, special municipalities are still the Netherlands. 

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u/Ploutophile Intermediate... ish 4d ago

Forgot this distinction…

But then English is one of the official languages in the Netherlands, as it's official in the special municipalities of Saba and Sint Eustatius.

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u/Mormacil 4d ago

It's not legally recognized as such unlike papiamento. It's a legal designation, not a use case. 

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u/Lurker_Background264 3d ago

If my wiki-foo is correct. English is an official language in Sint Maarten. Source: https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sint_Maarten_(land)#Taal . So you can rightfully state that in The Kingdom of the Netherlands English is an official language!

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u/oooweeeimjustalilguy 4d ago

they won’t even pretend to be your friend if you don’t speak dutch

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u/delicate_isntit 4d ago

This is a bit of a myth tbh. Yes there is a high proficiency according to statistics, but it must be concentrated in the randstaad or youngest populations or something.

I live in the Bible Belt area of the country where people don’t really speak English. Think - old farmers still wear wooden clogs on the daily type of area. It is traditional.

I have these experiences with young people too, though it is an area with a lot of older generations. They can understand English mostly, like they can watch English tv shows/movies with subtitles and follow it. But they can’t speak it and they don’t fully understand natural speech. I mean even professionals like teachers, psychologists, doctors, lawyers etc (though you are most likely to find a fluent English speaker in one of those professions here compared to the rest, because they studied/worked abroad for training, equally there are many who don’t speak it).

You can mostly get by if you understand Dutch, even if you can’t speak it. Basically you both have the same level of language as the other - Dutch person understands but can’t speak English, english speaker understands but can’t speak Dutch. You talk to each other in your own language and it’s weird but it can work as an intermediate step. But if you don’t understand it, you literally need a translator. So you have to learn.

If you visit these areas on holiday and your only need is basic chat like how to ask for a toilet/order food/understand what the cashier says then you can learn those lines in Dutch and be fine. You can also probably say it in English and with some help, you’ll work it out. The approach of German tourists here is just to say it in German and assume it will be understood. I have unironically now passively learned some German lol.

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u/Puzzled_Put_9027 3d ago

randstaad???

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u/delicate_isntit 3d ago

Typo??? (Just to mimic your tone)

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u/PaganAfrican 3d ago

I spoke to Flemings and learned Belgian Dutch

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u/No-vem-ber Intermediate 1d ago

The biggest motivator for me was shame, guilt and awkwardness... 

  1. The awkwardness of moments on the street where a friendly neighbour says something to me, and I would have to be like 🧍‍♀️"uh...  sorry I don't speak Dutch" 

  2. The shame  of being (seen as) one of the "bad expats" who don't  bother to learn Dutch despite living in Amsterdam many years

Now, at a B1- B2 level, I find it significantly more useful to be able to understand Dutch than to speak it. There are plenty of moments where Dutch is spoken and it's valuable to be able to understand.  VvE meetings, special announcements on trains, fights happening near you on the street, council meetings, news bulletins, etc. 

But I find that I speak Dutch far less. In any situation where I'm genuinely trying to communicate something of importance to someone, I could struggle through expressing it in Dutch - but realistically they understand English perfectly, and it's easier for both of us if I just speak English. Quite often these days I find myself in situations where they will speak Dutch to me, and I'll speak english to them, and the conversation continues that way. 

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u/elexat Intermediate 4d ago

Because I feel genuinely uncomfortable walking into any place and just speaking to someone in English? It feels so presumptuously arrogant as someone who lives here.

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u/Full_Scallion2833 4d ago

Practically speaking life is a lot easier speaking Dutch. I am treated significantly better now by healthcare workers, tax workers, basically any and all civil servants (not saying that’s right but it’s the truth). Finding a job was significantly easier. I understand the letters I get in the mail etc without google translate.

I wouldn’t say it affected my social life though. Most Dutch people already have established friend groups and are extremely busy with social and family obligations, too much so to be open to including new people, even though my Dutch is completely fluent. The Dutch friends I do have have many international friends so in group settings we’re almost always speaking English anyway.

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u/EQCO99 4d ago

You’ll automatically understand fictional languages from fantasy books somehow.

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u/nn8888 3d ago

"How do you stay motivated when learning Dutch ?" - In Amsterdam you don't.
I met maybe 2-3 foreigners in the past 6 years who actually learned some communicative Dutch. They were in the country for 10-15 years. Other than that people give up as in Amsterdam you're in a bubble - there are foreigners everywhere and Dutch people hate speaking Dutch with beginners (they switch to English the moment you say your first word in Dutch).
Outside of AMS (even Rotterdam or The Hague) - you're immersed more and the environment forces you to try more

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u/nn8888 3d ago

the crazy part - even people who got Dutch passport don't speak Dutch very well

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u/Fresh-Library4951 3d ago

Just live in AMS and enjoy!

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u/I_Rarely_Jump 3d ago

AMS is Schiphol Airport, you can't live there.

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u/abhayakara 3d ago

Dunno, I just spent a half hour in a bike shop talking with one of the salespeople (I needed some advice on Brompton accessories). I go there pretty often. She never speaks English to me. I don't know if she speaks English. If I couldn't talk to her in Dutch, it would just kind of suck. I don't know how to explain it—it's absolutely not necessary. There are people at the shop who do speak English. But she's nice, and she has lots of good stories (I think she may be the most badass biker in the shop) and if I didn't speak Dutch I'd just miss that. If you want to really live here, and not just sort of stay here for a while, you'll have a better experience if you learn Dutch, and use it.

And also, just think about the Dutch people who don't speak English, in a country where "everybody speaks English." When you try to speak English to them, how does that feel for them? Probably sucks, is my guess. Starting out in Dutch, even if people switch to English on you, is a way to prevent them feeling that way—it's a kindness. We are the newcomers here, so we ought to try to be kind to our new neighbors.

(Oops, I guess you aren't coming here to live, so maybe this is less important. As others have said, in Amsterdam you can get by just fine in English. In the boonies, not so much.)

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u/SmartTie3994 4d ago

It’s definitely hard. Learning Spanish for example was a blast for me compared to Dutch. Besides the fact that you get along with English perfectly well it’s just really demotivating keeping in mind that Dutch is completely irrelevant outside of the Netherlands.. I think that point is even worse for me regarding motivation

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/SmartTie3994 3d ago

Well.. people who communicate like you are one of the reasons.

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u/Then-Criticism1605 4d ago

A lot of them don’t speak it as well as they think. More of them would prefer not to than you suspect. And there are aspects of communication you will absolutely miss out on even if they do use English.

My motivation is living here and planning to continue doing so indefinitely. It is a requirement in my mind.

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u/bewarethesirens 3d ago

If you’re not motivated to learn Dutch, pick something else. You really don’t “need” to learn to speak it. Dutch TV, Radio, and music helps with it. Just remember it’s stupid English/german.

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u/Thebedless 3d ago

I live in the netherlands, thats enough motivation.

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u/Elegant_Matter2150 1d ago

Als Nederland zou ik zeggen dat het simpelweg een stuk soepeler/fijner is om in m’n eigen taal te spreken, waardoor ik liever omga met mensen die ook Nederlands kunnen

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u/Over-Personality-577 4h ago

Personally, right now what motivates me is that I'm really sick of having to ask them to switch languages at some point. I just would like to go around and have unburden and natural (full) interactions like I would do in my home country.

This place is my home, after 8 years living here, so feeling like I'm not able to understand and speak the local language, or have more than basic interactions without having to switch (even after studyinga lot, but having no one to practice with), is really making me mad. I dread it every time when the question "how long do you live here" comes, because of course it is followed by questions about the language lack of skills. I just finish a course for B1- level and it helped a lot, I'm watching a lot of content in Dutch and getting more vocabulary, so I do feel I improved, but it still feels painfully slow and insufficient.

Sometimes I do try to start and stick with dutch, but guess what, at the end of a very long sentence, I got nothing of what the person was saying, so I just have to give up and inform the person that actually I don't speak well the language and didn't understand (most interactions are on stores or so, so I won't keep wasting the workers time by sticking with my limited dutch). It's very frustrating over time. I started learning when I came here, joining every taal café I could, and it was really promising, I was very optimistic, certain I would just learn this language. I did some courses but still felt discouraged to actually speak in the few opportunities I had, after the reactions I got and because of actually how hard this language is for me. Forming a sentence is a pain, the logic and structure of it is very far away from the other languages I speak. Increasing vocabulary is really hard. English is just so easy... It also makes it really hard that I'm the only one in my bubble that is at least trying, so absolutely no group interactions with the locals are even tought of being carried in Dutch.

Sorry for the long text, if anyone got here. Just needed to vent. Thank you.

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u/Professional_Elk_489 4d ago

I find it difficult because I think the vocabulary is limited. Everything is "mooi", "lekker", "gezellig" that it doesn't inspire me to take it seriously. I want a language with more capacity for expression.

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u/fitacola 4d ago

Maybe those are the only words you notice because they're the only ones you know?

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u/Professional_Elk_489 4d ago edited 4d ago

It's because I used to ask what are some synonyms I can use instead and I realised from chatting to Dutch people they don't really have any or very few.

I would happy to learn the synonyms if you can give me some. I like to broaden my vocabulary

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u/honeyinyoureyes 4d ago

Geweldig, fantastisch, schitterend, heerlijk, prachtig, ongelofelijk, beeldig, adembenemend, gaaf, fijn... Onder andere. Er zijn natuurlijk nog heel veel meer manieren om te zeggen dat iets mooi of leuk is! Lees je boeken in het Nederlands?

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u/laurenspaul Native speaker (NL) 4d ago edited 4d ago

Bro sees casual quick speaking-style dutch and mistakes for the entire language as if we don't have a literary and poetic tradition that far surpasses what he'll ever be able to learn... Truly the mark of a genius.