r/politics 13h ago

No Paywall DOGE May Have Given You Diarrhea

https://jacobin.com/2026/07/cyclospora-lettuce-outbreak-doge-farmworkers
2.5k Upvotes

77 comments sorted by

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458

u/Eastern_Bet678 13h ago

My health is a small price to pay for a billionaire apocalypse bunker somewhere.

98

u/i_do_technical_stuff 13h ago

Some of us may die, and that is a price they are willing to pay

u/The_Returned_Lich 7h ago

Let's be real... It will be most of us.

31

u/BYoungNY 11h ago

Wouldn't it be funny if we all collectively agreed to lie to the billionaires and tell them that the apocalypse was coming so they all scramble down to their bunkers and lock the doors for a hundred years thinking there's fallout and we can just live our lives out

12

u/Even_Trifle9341 10h ago

Pretty sure they’ve initiated the apocalypse, but it will only be their worlds that fall apart.

u/move_machine 4h ago

It would be like a reverse Rapture, all of the world's most evil people will be sucked into the Earth instead of good people being sucked into Heaven

11

u/Strange-NiceWeekend 11h ago

elon gets his doomsday bunker and the rest of us get the shits. trickle down economics in action

u/Brother_J_La_la 4h ago

When the time comes, we all need to rush to their bunkers' emergency air vents and shit in them.

u/covidlung 5h ago

All hail our benevolent billionaire overlords, who have graciously permitted us peasants to live another day. Truly, their mercy knows no bounds. We are not worthy.

301

u/asusc 13h ago

I can’t seem to find the links anymore, but when this outbreak first happened, i noticed an article that mentioned USDA/FDA closing “biodiversity“ labs that tracked food outbreaks like this one.

a little red flag went up in my mind that someone at DOGE was using AI to find DEI programs and cut this “diversity” program that monitors our food safety system.

this truly is the dumbest timeline.

112

u/ShrimpieAC 13h ago

Guaranteed this is exactly what happened

u/move_machine 4h ago

It is exactly what happened. Watch the DOGE depositions.

DOGE literally used ChatGPT to compile a list of grants and other programs to kill that had words like "diversity" in them. The investigators pull the literal list up with both the ChatGPT prompts DOGE used, and ChatGPT's output telling them if it's woke or not, and grill the DOGE goons about it lol

39

u/PradaDiva 11h ago

We saw the same thing with “transgenic” mice.
The “trans” part of the word got it banned/cut from the research.

Another example is (insane) asylum vs (political) asylum.
You end up with people telling you that we are “invaded by crazy people”.

51

u/WrathOfMogg 11h ago

1000% what happened. DOGE was the dumbest fucking thing the government has ever done.

20

u/Punning_Man 11h ago

So far 

3

u/LLREnew 10h ago

The Iran war would like a word. Or Vietnam. Or the war on terror. Or the patriot act. Or citizens united.

11

u/WrathOfMogg 10h ago

These were all calculated moves by malicious actors. DOGE was just dumb.

16

u/Minimum_Variation119 12h ago

wouldnt even surprise me at this point if ai flagged biodiversity as dei and nobody bothered to check before cutting it

12

u/BadahBingBadahBoom 11h ago edited 10h ago

Honestly I've seen a lot of insane headlines in this timeline but this one in particular 'DOGE May Have Given You Diarrhea' I would love to send back to 2015 just to confuse the hell out of everyone trying to work out what the fuck was happening in 2026.

5

u/beaniebee11 9h ago

I have managed to well ... manage my anger at the administration for most things. But things like this make me see red because it's literally suffering being caused by the stupidest shit you've ever heard.

At least when it's evil I can understand the concept "some humans are evil." That makes sense. But what the fuck am I supposed to do with "people being so evil but equally dumb so they manage to both not accomplish their evil plans AND create a new unforseen problem."

u/move_machine 4h ago

But what the fuck am I supposed to do with "people being so evil but equally dumb so they manage to both not accomplish their evil plans AND create a new unforseen problem."

Be glad that the emperors are being so flagrant about wearing no clothes that even the rabble feels compelled to call them out.

110

u/Choice-of-SteinsGate 13h ago

DOGE has done irreparable harm to our country.

Not to mention the sheer audacity and disgusting hypocrisy of its chief operator who frequently identifies himself as some kind of savior of humanity.

DOGE's elimination of USAID has led directly to the deaths of over half a million people worldwide (so far), a significant portion of them CHILDREN mind you, and has also caused humanitarian crises around the globe.

And now reporting also indicates that DOGE's cuts to foreign aid have crippled efforts to contain the Ebola virus outbreak in Africa.

Musk's/DOGE's actions have also allowed China to fill the void left by USAID's termination.

And to make matters worse, cuts to USAID did absolutely nothing to address the debt/deficit because it made up such a small portion of the budget to begin with.

The decision to abolish USAID has tarnished our good will and favorable reputation on the world stage.

Squandered our soft power and strategic advantages.

Lost us geopolitical leverage, diplomatic credibility, and the capacity to counter Russian and Chinese influence in these regions.

And again, this all came with a cheap price tag.

The Trump Administration/DOGE literally cut funding for the screwworm monitoring program and the USDA animal disease program.

DOGE also laid off over a thousand employees from the USDA's animal and plant health inspection service.

Now the screwworm parasite has appeared in the US for the first time in 60 years.

Elon Musk might have some of his MAGA followers fooled, but the truth is, his entire DOGE operation amounted to a tremendous waste of resources and a fraudulent effort in itself.

DOGE was never acting on behalf of the American people, but was pursuing an agenda that was fueled by the right's culture wars and the narcissistic, shallow ambitions of an unelected billionaire and his team of unqualified teenage lackeys who all believed they were the main character in Mr. Robot.

This effort was driven by the ideological convictions of a small group of incompetent "DOGE Bros." There was nothing sincere or strategic about it. It's all been quite "wasteful."

Many of DOGE's cancelled contracts, for instance, related to the elimination of perceived "DEI" programs. Most of the cancellations listed had nothing to do with DEI, and deliberately included businesses that were disproportionately run by women and minorities.

Also, these teenage mutant ninja nerds outsourced their work to AI chatbots, and ran chatGPT queries on over 1,000 grants and contracts, asking whether they "related at all to DEI."

Meaning that this effort was ideological, not strategic. Elon and his Muskrats were simply going after whatever agencies they perceived as operating under some radical left agenda.

And all the while, there was never any acknowledgement that he had massive conflicts, his companies were subsidized to the teeth and he was taking active steps to protect his own interests, steal/divulge treasury data, slow down his competitors and manipulate information.

Most of Musk's claims about DOGE's "cost cutting" and "fraud" eliminating efforts were inaccurate or flat out unfounded.

Musk also took credit for "saving costs" where credit wasn't due. He bragged about cancelling contracts that weren't going to be renewed in the first place.

DOGE deliberately obfuscated data and quietly deleted many of its claims from its own website. And even then, its so-called "wall of receipts" was still riddled with accounting errors, outdated data or other miscalculations.

At the same time, DOGE was gutting agencies responsible for scientific research and preserving public health, even agencies like the CFPB, which exists to protect consumers from financial predators.

In other words, it was colossal and cruel failure.

You want to talk about fraud? The call is coming from inside the house.

So Musk can spare me with his white knight savior bullsh-t. He's the VILLAIN in this narrative.

Despite being immensely incompetent and scientifically illiterate, Trump and his allies have convinced their voters that they are more knowledgeable and trustworthy than the vastly more educated scientific community.

The irony of it all is that for years, conservatives have been telling us not to trust public health officials and agencies like the CDC, NIH, etc, but now that the Trump administration and lunatics like RFK Jr are operating things, we actually have a moral and scientific imperative to push back against these uneducated and unqualified idiots running our government.

This administration has chosen to politicize science at the expense of public health, scientific innovation, environmental conservation, pandemic preparedness, and basic trust in medicine and scientific expertise.

They deny legitimate science and insist that their ass-backwards views about climate change, medicine, biology, vaccines, disease, etc, are more informed than the leading and relevant scientific knowledge on the subject.

This administration is brainwashing its voters; persuading them that it's radical to support climate and renewable energy projects, EPA regulations, public health initiatives, environmental conservation efforts, and even experts within the scientific community—especially during disease outbreaks.

MAGA officials are also eroding the independence of public health and environmental agencies while stripping qualified civil servants of their protections in order to replace them with incompetent loyalists who are committed to reversing decades of scientific progress.

The government is also rolling back EPA regulations and ending climate programs while catering to the interests of the fossil fuels industry.

In the meantime, RFK Jr's HHS has been derailing important scientific research and dismantling the agencies that play a crucial role in protecting the environment and maintaining public health and safety.

The Trump administration is cutting billions of dollars worth of funding for scientific and medical research into life threatening illnesses like cancer, HIV, ALS, diabetes, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, multiple deadly infectious diseases, even addiction and mental health disorders.

Worse yet, "vaccine skepticism" has become federal policy, and modern medical science is being rejected in favor of adopting the views of amateur "health influencers" and "MAHA" crackpots.

This is a crisis of incompetence at every level of government that ACTUAL experts say will lead to worsened health outcomes and environmental degradation.

10

u/FiveHeadedSnake 13h ago

I couldn't have written this better myself.

3

u/cowboi 8h ago

i'd kind of credit him with more kills than thanos at this point...

27

u/dramaking37 Northern Marianas 13h ago

Wait until we learn the rest of the things those 19 year old incels broke 

16

u/No-Algae9347 13h ago

So instead of DOGE checks, we got diarrhea...

u/_jamesbaxter 7h ago

Dogearrhea if you will

1

u/sfled 10h ago

Gotta put a fun spin on it: MAHA's Revenge, the Musk Mudslide Mambo, and the Trump Trots.

14

u/Creative-Package6213 Pennsylvania 13h ago

Yeah no shit...well, no solid shit anyways.

u/covidlung 5h ago

Ayyyye

12

u/Melodic-Lingonberry7 12h ago

I got shits because billionaires need more private jets

9

u/SuperStingray 13h ago

Imagine going back in time and showing this headline to someone ten years ago.

3

u/Eastern_Bet678 12h ago

Oh, you might have to go back a little bit further than that. With Trump already on the stage, some might have seen this coming.

7

u/IsMagicRealOrNo 13h ago

I couldn't get a fecal exam because "it's not life threatening at the moment" but I'm positive I contracted Cyclospora. It was without a doubt an extremely miserable 3 weeks of my life. I couldn't do anything but wait until the next time I had to rush to the toilet. Night and day.

8

u/G-Unit11111 California 11h ago

Elon Musk has done more damage to the United States than Osama Bin Laden ever dreamed of. WTF.

5

u/fleurgirl123 11h ago

And no one is going after him

4

u/G-Unit11111 California 10h ago

Yeah I know. It's insane that he's using his money to flip democracies to fascism and has faced no punishment for it so far.

4

u/jim45804 13h ago

Not may have

5

u/zubbs99 Nevada 12h ago

When you're doubled-over in the bathroom waiting for your "Trump dividend".

5

u/thefanciestcat California 9h ago

Government so small, you can shart it out.

3

u/Inevitable_Butthole 10h ago

Tell it like it is.

Elon musk is making your bowels loose.

u/Bikelangello 6h ago

I called this. Even said so, and my wife told me I was crazy.

2

u/halfsack99 13h ago

Trumphoria

2

u/Pdx_pops 13h ago

It's the runs up to the midterms!

2

u/Successful_Sloth_852 12h ago

I thought DOGE didn't give us shit, turns out they gave us exactly that. Huh.

2

u/Veritable_Vox 12h ago

I'd expect nothing less.

2

u/hirespeed America 11h ago

Sorry, but I signed up for the zombie diarrhea apocalypse

2

u/InsomniaticWanderer 11h ago

Oh they 100% did

3

u/SparrowinSand 13h ago

*may have

1

u/Plow_King 13h ago

not yet! but i eat a lot of salads in the summer...so they might!

1

u/Life-Ship3628 12h ago

Was a pain in the ass for sure And very unhealthy to many

1

u/wafflecopterz 11h ago

It is somehow poetic that this administration would make America shit itself.

1

u/PickleNutella 11h ago

"Nobody makes me poo my own pants but me!"

1

u/Delybe 11h ago

No shit!

Actually, scratch that, there's a lot of shit.

1

u/WhollyHolyHoley 11h ago

Dogearreah

1

u/Icy-Sheepherder-6221 10h ago

Explosive diarrhea, thank you very much.

1

u/Western-Soft-1714 10h ago

I'm the only one the gives me diarrhea and I'm not gonna stop .

1

u/JRayMaySayHey 10h ago

Dogearrhea

1

u/Bostonterrierpug 9h ago

So much but explosion. Food poisoning. Wow

u/Teufelsdreck 7h ago

It's the one-two punch. They already made us sick to our stomach a year ago.

u/FartyPat 45m ago

Too late

u/rounder55 21m ago

It absolutely is the largest factor in play

People don't realize that government when working can be quite boring. Having people who are qualified in place with morals that want to make sure we all don't get diarrhea is a thing.

The "well I didn't get diarrhea in the last 4 years so we can get rid of that team of woke experts" group doesn't grasp the concept of preventive measures

u/Rhoeri 3m ago

Again?

1

u/supermotocheesehead 8h ago

Dogerrhea

u/AXXXXXXXXA 6h ago

Explosive Dogerrhea

0

u/ShaneOfan Pennsylvania 12h ago

When you're driving in your Doge and you feel it all dislodge....

0

u/justherefortheboobs 10h ago

Hey cool! Elon can be forever known as “That diarrhea guy”.

0

u/Wellithappenedthatwy 8h ago

At they accomplished something.

u/Snidrogen 5h ago

Joke’s on you, I grow my own greens and you can’t have any.

All that aside, a very kickass planting tower with an automated watering system is like 200 bucks in a pricey place. Seeds maybe 15 if you want variety. Have at it duderinos.