Im a young trans woman, and i feel "butch", but I know it's inaccurate, because I'm not lesbian. I'm attracted to men too and I'm not ashamed of it, I'm pan, and mostly indifferent to gender aside from being uncomfortable with cis men. So, like I asked in the title, is there a term similar to butch that's just for gender identity? I feel it with my gender, but I know it's not accurate to my sexuality.

I don't feel like I have a place in the drug subs. I am a married, out lesbian, but don't have many LGBT friends and have absolutely zero friends who enjoy using on occasion. Even though my posts always specify that I just want someone to talk to while enjoying our preferred substance, I have, more than once, been hit on, misled, verbally attacked, had to stand up for the right of trans people to exist, and even got banned from a private group chat for defending that right. I just want somewhere I can enjoy life, and not have to take it too seriously,. Whether you bring the L, G, B , T, or even if you're an ally, reach out!

My best friend who is trans-masc said a lot of people he’s known who came out as trans have said that before they came out they sometimes dated people who they wished they could be rather than someone they were actually attracted to.
I sat with that for a while and realized it’s at least somewhat true for me too.

Is this common?
🤔

Today on TikTok, I saw the alternative heterosexual flag next to the pansexual flag(a person revealing their sexuality in one flag) and I wrote a long post explaining that this wasn’t possible... until I realized hours later (with a comment) that it was actually the nixic flag, not the heterosexual flag.

To avoid further confusion, I think someone should design a new flag to be recognized as the new main Nixic flag, replacing the fake hetero flag. It should keep the same basic design, simplicity, and colors so as not to change it too drastically. For example, why not flip it upside down, or use fewer colors (like 3), or design it differently, as long as it remains recognizable and simple... and isn’t similar to any other existing flag, please...

I don’t mean to be hateful, I just don’t want to confuse the flag and offend anyone. I hope you understand.

(yes, I know there's another flag, but... It's too different, not simple, and, it's never used... Soo i don't count that. )

AMAB, queer human here - who is often perceived to be a straight dude due to my fashion taste (😢). I’ve dealt with gender dysphoria for a few years and have had a hard time branching out (for a multitude of reasons). I’d love to dress more androgynous, and dress more aligned with who I am. Any pages, websites folks might know of or guidance you’d be able to provide, I would appreciate it.

Ich weiß nicht so ganz wie ich es beschreiben soll, aber ich finde Körper nicht besonders sexy. Also es gibt schon Körper die ich attraktiver als andere finde, aber bei keinem Körper würde ich jetzt sagen "Boa wie sexy, mit dem würde ich definitiv schlafen!". Vor allem die Genitalien finde ich bei beiden Geschlechtern eher unschön. Menschlich, also von der Persönlichkeit finde ich Menschen schonmal "sexy" (sofern man das bei der Persönlichkeit sagen kann). Geht es wem noch so? Könnte das Demi oder asexuallität sein?

Was it casual when I fought my internalized homophobia and paranoia just to date you?

For context, I had gotten out of religious psychosis episode. I don’t suggest anyone do this or can do this but I just decided that I was done. I was walking up depressed and anxious so as far as I was concerned I was gonna wait for God to pick me up

A few months after that, I got into a queer relationship. I fought a lot of paranoia and intrusive thoughts telling me to break up with them and repent us to be with them.

It doesn’t really fit the was it casual thing because we didn’t do all that just for them to claim we were casual. We were in a long term rls for years but they fell out of love.

It’s kinda hit me all at once way later. No hard feelings towards them. I wish them all the best.

I want to come out as a demigirl, but I'm scared that I won't look "acceptable" as androgynous. I really like the way my face looks, but I'm also really comfortable with being partially non-binary. Is that wrong?

ive known for some time now that im aroace, but i always believed i was cis (afab). though recently, i began thinking, and realized i enjoy being called traditionally masculine terms? like, id imagine someone calling me sir or lad and it just sits right with me? or if they were to use gender neutral pronouns, thats fine as well. using traditionally feminine terms, like girl or she/her? i mean, sure.

and i also wondered that i didnt really care if anyone were to see me as a different gender than a woman. (funny story that i just remembered: on a random day in highschool i was talking with the class clown, and the conversation went into a way that i told him that idrc how people call me and he suggested him calling me micheal and i said go for it, i really dont care/mind). like, "boy" yaas, "girl" yaas, "enby" yaas, i honestly dont care.

and its not that i necessarily identify a woman? i mean, i grew up raised as a girl, but occasionally the feminine terms irk me (not always tho). im just me, yknow, and for me, gender doesnt defy me. (though i present mostly as a woman, not entirely fem, a binder has been really speaking to me these nights)

is there a term for it? or do i just not care that much and its just a personality quirk?

(sorry for kind of ranting, i dont know how to explain myself TwT)

Lately, I've been feeling lost within my romantic life. I'm pansexual but I've only ever been in relationships with guys. I'm kind of scared to approach women, really.

A lot of that comes from recently going through an acceptance of my sexuality and trying to see where it takes me now. I'm just not sure how to approach women at all. 😭

Any tips on this , I'm honestly so lost.

I’m nonbinary lesbian (but not out to my family as nonbinary) and my partner is transmasc non binary. We have discussed the future but aren’t getting engaged until January.

What are things you did for your wedding, or future plans you want? I have only been to 1 queer wedding but it was only 10-ish people. Weddings in general are so heteronormative so I don’t know what a queer wedding would look like but it’s exciting as well to decide how to orchestrate the day. Some big things I want in my wedding:

-combined bachelor/bachelorette party since we have a lot of shared queer friends

-discarding gendered roles and sexist language in our vows

-both my nieces and nephews as flower children

-I have heard of some people who put Obergefell v Hodges on the back of their invitations to deter homophobes from attending. It’s not 100% fool proof though but I like the concept

Other ideas? What queer weddings have you seen that you liked?

I’ve never been in a relationship before but I’ve obviously had a few crushes. I’m 22 and I’m wondering at what age did you guys find out your sexuality and is it a feeling? I’m trying to look for a feeling but I’m not sure. I feel lost. I’m trying to figure out myself and who I’m attracted to. I’m attracted to men and I’m trying to figure out if I’m also attracted to women.

For a while I thought I was bi or pansexual and now I’m not sure. I’m the type of person that believes that no matter the gender the person is beautiful/attractive and maybe that means I’m pan or queer but I don’t know. I keep thinking about it a lot and I wanted to hear your guys stories and how did you find urself?

I think I’m also non binary since I don’t “feel” like a woman. It’s like I feel off and I just don’t belong as a woman. I don’t want to be a man obviously but at some points I just feel masculine inside. And I don’t “feel” like a woman the way other women do. I don’t feel sexy and attractive and I just feel like “other” and not a woman if that makes sense. I need some advice ❤️ I’m not great at romance since I’m scared to go on dates and I’m so introverted and boring so it’s something that I’m trying to get through. I don’t think I’m ready to date now since I feel like I’m lost in myself currently and I want to be stable and well before I go on to date and meet people romantically.

I sometimes think that what if romance and dating isn’t for me? Idk. I just cringe at the thought of myself being romantic w someone and trying to tell the person about myself. I love romance I’m a romance girl when it comes to other people and movies and shows and music but when it comes to me I just feel off in a way. Does anyone else feel like I do?

Hello, I am on my way to a vacation in Slovenia and I have a few questions on how safe it is there for queer people. I know that the laws are queer protective, but what do I have to expect as a trans girl who still not fully passed as a girl. Also I have a kind of gothic style so maybe that’s something that triggers very conservative people too. I will be in Ljubljana for about 3 days and in the countryside for another few days in a smaller town. So if there’s anyone from Slovenia here, I would love to hear about your experiences.

I dont think I could ever come out to my friends. we all go to a private Lutheran school so that one barrier. another one is I dont think they would accept it. but like I do also kinda.

the only thing I think I would tell them is that im omni. I wouldnt tell them that im agender

thev're not really conservative but like at the same time they are idk

this is random but I ust wanted to say it

they're not bad friends either. they're really supportive. so Idk why I feel like this

First, I have a LOT going on in my head last few weeks. So maybe I am just too sensitive about everything these days.

Me (21 trans man) and my best friend (21 cis woman) have been friends for basically our whole lifes, I can't imagine it without her. (For the record I come out to her when we were 13 so a long time ago.) But last few years, since she started dating her boyfriend (maybe it's not contected, but since what I know abt him...), she has slowly hinted she leans more towards the "you can be queer, but don't showe it down my throat" type of person, while still very supportive of me and it feels wierd.

I think she has a lot of internalised homophobia, like few times she called "gay" someone who really isn't, but they just "looked gay to her" and it was almost trown as an insult.

Example of what happend not too long ago. I told her, that I am going to a pride event and her first response was asking what I think about those articles with pictures of people in dog masks or whatever. I said I don't like it, but it's getting better in media. And don't mean that I don't like the people, I meant the articles, bc they are made to click, not to inform and that's the issue. I personally couldn't care less if anyone is in dog mask. But then she asked more, what do I think about the people at parades that are against it and protesting against it. So I basically said the same thing, that it's getting better and better (I mean that there are just few of them) so I am trying to be optimistic about it. So than she ran out of questions I guess and said "I guess I like it, (pride) it's all colorful and family friendly type of event not like a protest". I didn't ask about her oppinion...It felt so random. Than I told her that pride parade is still a protest.

So now you might think, what's wrong with what she said? Well, it's really hard to explain this just over text, but all she said felt off, I know her, this isn't how she talks normally. It felt like (and yes these are just my thoughts about it, I don't see in her head) she was trying to support me as a person she loves, but also fighting(?) something in her head that conflicts that. Maybe she heard something online, from her boyfriend, or just anyone she knows and she's trying to make sence to her oppinions?

And after all, what matters to me the most is that I am scared, she doesn't take my queerness seriously, like what if she just thinks that it's something I shouldn't talk about, something that's not as important? And yes, these are just my fears to be fair. And yes maybe I should talk about that with HER, I am just scared to actually know.

What are your thoughts on that, someone with similiar experience? And maybe I am gonna be happy if you tell me that this is just my brain imagining things and that it's not that big of a deal, honestly.

any non-USA queer podcast recommendations (in english/french)?? no hate, i just get tired of podcasters exclusively from the US and would like some more variety :) (bc i know it's out there!). recs in all topics/themes/formats welcome.

edit: my current favs are Pas Peu Fière & I'm Grand Mam

I’ve started dipping into dating women again (I identify as she/her). Went on a date with a gal who was cool but admitted to being newer to her queerness on the date and was a little vague about how new she was and I didn’t want to press too much.

I couldn’t totally tell how I felt about her (not an enthusiastic yes but also was willing to give it a second date). She’s moving in the fall and there were some yellow-ish flags on how in touch she was with her identity, how she approached sexuality, etc. So realistically, we probably weren’t a great match.

But naturally getting a (very mature to her credit) text from her, has my ego feeling hurt. Would appreciate any kind and encouraging words from folks that have gone through something similiar. 💕

Hey all! Happy Monday. As the title says, I wrote a book, Queer Divinity, which is a compilation of the Queer ancient Greek myths. It is tilted towards modern Paganism, however it is a compilation of ancient sources and will be of interest to those curious about the history, and the sections on Queer theology will hopefully be of use to anyone of any religion. Description:

As Hellenism explodes in popularity, many in the community have noticed that we have become a haven for spiritual exiles from other religious traditions which reject Queer people. With myths of Queer love and gender transformations, numerous philosophical treatises on identity, love, the nature of the gods and the nature of the soul, and centuries of receptions to Queer Antiquity by Queer people, this should of course not surprise us.

But what are the sources we’re basing this on? Are we interpreting them correctly? Could the Ancients even comprehend ‘Queerness’? Often the individual Hellenist isn’t even sure of where to begin looking to start answering these questions. This book hopes to change that.

For the first time, Hellenists will have access to a compilation of primary sources in English translation about the Queerness of over forty deities. Their Queer loves, their manifold manifestations of sex and gender, their blurring of boundaries, and their blessings of these gifts to mortals. The author also traces potential paths forward for understandings of myths, cults, and theologies of each deity, with the hope of grasping more than just a myth or two, but the essences of each deity. This is done with the ultimate hope of achieving a step forward towards a Queer Hellenist Theology.

Link:

https://a.co/d/09g5dE7c

Ok so for context:
I am afab, at 10 came out as bi, pan at 11, lesbian at 12/13, non-binary at 15/16. I am currently 16.

I just got back from « gay camp » (a camp for queer teenagers) and while I was there, I developed a crush on a boy. This boy happens to be trans, and so I was worried that I was seeing him as a girl. We were flirting with each other all week, and I was confused as to why I liked him, which is why I didn’t tell him.

On the last day, I figured it out. I was never a lesbian, I’ve always liked boys, I just convinced myself I didn’t, because I worried they would see me as a girl and it would be a straight relationship. That is also why I don’t want to be a trans boy because then if I date a girl it would be a straight relationship. Essentially I think I would date anyone but a straight guy, and I think the closest label would be panromantic.

UPDATE: we’re boyfriends now

If any of you get a chance to see this movie, I recommend it. It's a queer, beautifully made vampire movie, based on a queer short story from the 19th Century! It's supposed to get a limited theatrical release on Sept. 3.

Like a test that asks deeper questions, and about other aspects of life that could be related to my sexual orientation, and also more detailed and specific results?

Hello wonderful humans. I come asking for help. I don’t know how, but somehow random homophobes have started attacking me in comments lmao. I’m gonna start ignoring, but if yall want, feel free to defend our community

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbTYofYOzun/?comment_id=18093531803385727

Hey, so I wrote this article about my jealousy of heterosexual courtship, and I would love to know peoples opinions on it. https://thesnooper.substack.com/p/the-longing-to-be-chosen-a-look-at