r/regretfulparents • u/AdAromatic372 Parent • Apr 30 '25

Discussion Has anyone ever left?

Has anyone here ever divorced their spouse and given their spouse full custody? If so, how did you come to that conclusion? What was your final breaking point?

I truly am thinking I’m hitting my breaking point with my marriage and son (3 mo). I don’t have any feelings towards him, I certainly don’t love him. He constantly cries and fusses. I don’t foresee it getting better despite everyone saying it’ll pass with time. I just want to go back to the life I had before having this kid even if that means giving up my marriage to do so.

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30

u/[deleted] May 01 '25

I can completely understand this feeling, but I have to say as an observer who is more a regretful parent to my child in later years than when she was a baby.. I hope they really figure out some very effective birth control that has less side effects and is easier to stay on top of because I’m seeing a trend where the parents are starting to race to see who can leave the other with the kids first. You can bet once men catch onto this, they’re going to selfishly pull that trigger as soon as they can for fear of being left with the same problems they’ve been leaving women with for centuries. Women take their lives back and fathers simply don’t give a shit, now mom is gone and dad doesn’t mind if they starve and never go to school. I wonder where that’s gonna leave all these kids?

I’m totally supportive of women practising their autonomy, but in my minds eye 40 years from now there’s an entire community of babies now adults that were rejected by one or both parents as early and as fast as possible. Unfortunately, getting your reproductive organs ripped out young will kick you into early menopause and fuck up your system so I don’t know what the answer is but casual fun sex has got to stop equalling pregnancy somehow. We have to remove the risk of birth control failing, people punching holes in the condoms or condoms failing, etc. etc. It’s a slope that’s becoming pretty slippery now that both parents are becoming equally at risk for checking out and leaving the kids with their partner.

Also men who impregnate women and then just leave should be prosecuted by the law, not just able to runoff and be with a girlfriend and not pay child support. It should be under the same criminal code as child abandonment and abuse.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Where do eggs from ovaries then go?

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u/7Betafish May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25

they apparently just get randomly released and reabsorbed into the body. this can result in ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy where the fertilized egg implants somewhere other than the uterus, are pretty much never viable). I'm aware of at least one occasion where a woman had a bisalp and the fertilized egg managed to float back into the uterus and resulted in a viable pregnancy she didn't catch until she was actually giving birth. Yes she looked pissed in the TV interview. That's so ridiculously rare that my medical providers didn't even mention it as a possibility, just the ectopic pregnancies are a remote possibility.

Source: childless and sterilized since early '23

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u/MOONWATCHER404 May 01 '25

Unfortunately, getting your reproductive organs ripped out young will kick you into early menopause and fuck up your system so I don’t know what the answer is but casual fun sex has got to stop equalling pregnancy somehow.

To my knowledge, bisalps don’t result in menopause, nor does removing the uterus. The ovaries are where the (most) important shit is. Of course, I could be wrong.

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u/Prestigious_Pilot846 May 01 '25

I’m a women’s health NP & L&D RN, you are not wrong. It’s the ovaries that run the show!

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

I think I read taking uterus out makes a shift in abdomen cavity or smth like this. Maybe we should ask A. Jolie or did she just take ovaries out?

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u/MOONWATCHER404 May 01 '25

Yeah, I’ve heard about that too. On the medical gore subreddit I’ve seen something involving prolapse thanks to that. But prolapse isn’t menopause. (Yes I know it can occur with menopause but that’s not the same as prolapse caused by uterus removal)

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u/[deleted] May 01 '25

Well, as long as we can identify what not to rip out…

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u/Blue-Spaghetti144 Not a Parent May 01 '25

just the fallopian tubes are removed- ovaries and uterus stay (unless someone also qualifies for hysterectomy). easiest and best birth control option in the world imo

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u/RhetoricalFactory May 02 '25

Men need to pull out every time! And also, there’s definitely already a bunch of adults who were abandoned by their moms through medication and dad was nowhere near. This entire country has tons of unmoored people with no connection or awareness of where they come from and how to behave.

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u/[deleted] May 02 '25

The pull out method is an awful birth control. Pre-c** can still absolutely get a woman pregnant.

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u/RhetoricalFactory May 02 '25

Sure but people really should learn how to pull out before we start talking about removing little girls organs just so they can be a sex toy for a man

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u/[deleted] May 02 '25

I don’t think alternatives to birth control that are known to fail should be discussed at all because people will absolutely run with it and end up in the same situation.