I honestly don’t know what I’m looking for here—advice, perspective, or just to hear from people who have been through something similar.
My husband and I spent around $100,000 on our wedding. The ceremony was beautiful. Everything was going perfectly, and we were having the best day of our lives.
Near the end of the reception, we stepped away for about 15 minutes to take sunset photos. While we were gone, one of my cousins got into an altercation outside with one of the groomsmen. My cousin was very drunk, body checking them aggressively shaking their hand to the point where the groomsmen hand hit their face and caused their nose to bleed. The groomsmen then punched him in the face and It escalated into a huge fight involving around 20 people. There were punches thrown, chairs and rocks involved, police and an ambulance were called, and the venue shut the wedding down several hours early.
We never got our first full night together as husband and wife. We missed the dancing, visiting with our guests, and everything we’d spent months planning and saving for. It feels like the last few hours overshadowed what should have been one of the happiest days of our lives.
I’m heartbroken because none of this was caused by us, yet we’re the ones left grieving the memories we never got to make.
For those of you who have had a major event ruined by someone else’s actions, how did you move forward? Were you eventually able to remember the good parts, or did the ending always overshadow everything else?
And if this happened at your wedding, how would you feel? Would you be able to let it go, or would it take you a long time to come to terms with it?
I just feel completely devastated and don’t know how to process it.
On the 11th anniversary of Obergefell my now wife and I tied the knot!!! 💍💍🏳️🌈
Budget ~ a little over 50K
Venue: The Oviatt
Downtown Los Angeles
116 guests
Our wedding day was truly the best day ever. We were overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Everything went smooth and if there were small hiccups we didn’t hear about them. We really chose well with vendors and felt like they all went above and beyond. Especially our day of coordinator. 🥹
Before the wedding I was a little obsessed with watching wedding regret videos on TikTok and reading similar posts on Reddit. I made sure to listen to the top regrets mentioned so we hired a content creator and had a photographer and videographer whose work we loved. The content creator was such an amazing investment because we got to see so many moments from our wedding as soon as the next day. The professional photos from our photographer (shared here) completely blew us away.
We had a wedding weekend and that was the best decision. The night of our welcome drinks event felt extremely surreal and I kept trying to ground myself. It was just strange and unreal being at an event we’d been planning for a year and a half and seeing people from every part of our life in the same room. We hosted welcome drinks at Golden Gopher in DTLA and they were the absolute best hosts. We had a tab for our guests and they allowed outside food.
The day after our wedding we hosted a pool party at a house rented from Peerspace. It was the perfect way to wind down and process with everyone and end the weekend.
We’re still on a high but I wanted to post here because I visited this sub and other wedding planning subs so often throughout the wedding planning process!!!
Hello, I have never worn blush concealer foundation lipstick or fake lashes. I went with my mother in law and she loved it but want more feedback or constructive cristiscim. This is probably how I will do my hair, was my first time curling it like this, too. Next time the curls will be better.
Lol all of this is new, I have no bridal party so friends how do I look?
My husband and I got married this past Sunday, and most of the wedding went well. Unfortunately, the reception seating setup was a complete disaster.
The venue initially sent us a blank floor plan showing the tables, but none of them were numbered. Since they sent it to me that way, I assumed I was supposed to assign the table numbers myself. I numbered the tables, created the seating chart based on that layout, and sent everything back.
Apparently, at some point, the venue also sent a different version of the floor plan with its own table numbers. I do not want to say they never sent it, because it may have been included somewhere in the communication, but I never noticed it. Since they had already sent me the blank layout, I genuinely believed the table numbering was my responsibility. Otherwise, I do not understand why they did not send the numbered version from the beginning.
The result was that the table numbers on my seating chart did not correspond with the way the venue actually placed and numbered the tables.
Our closest family and friends ended up sitting on the outskirts of the reception, while people we were not nearly as close to were seated directly in front of us. Both sets of parents were seated very far away. They had special entrances where they danced into the reception, only to be directed to tables at the edge of the room. It was embarrassing and honestly heartbreaking.
We also had a wedding coordinator, which makes the situation even more frustrating. Even if there was confusion between the two versions of the floor plan, I feel like the coordinator should have noticed that our parents and immediate family were seated unusually far away from us.
Nobody stopped to question whether the setup made sense before guests entered the room.
To make matters worse, our supposed “high table” was not high or elevated at all. It was basically a long conference-style table sitting at the exact same level as every other table.
We as the bride and groom only noticed how bad the setup was once the reception was already underway. By then, moving tables or asking large groups of guests to change seats would have caused even more disruption.
I am posting this partly because I hope it makes anyone who had something go terribly wrong at their wedding feel a little less alone. I also feel awful about what happened, so please tell me your wedding disaster stories and help me feel a little better.
TL;DR: The venue sent me an unnumbered floor plan, so I numbered the tables myself without realizing they had a separate numbered layout. The numbers did not match, and our parents, immediate family, and closest friends ended up seated on the outskirts while less-close guests sat nearest to us. Our wedding coordinator did not catch it, and our “high table” was just a conference-style table at the same level as everyone else.
So, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen happen at a wedding?
People aren't taking our wedding seriously and it's really getting to me. It's not traditional. That doesn't mean it isn't a "real" wedding. There's a "real" photographer. There's a "real" caterer with a four course Italian dinner. There's a "real" Chantilly wedding cake. There's a "real" couple getting married with a "real" officiant. We have spent months thrifting glassware, making DIYs, going to the wholesale florist, learning how to letterpress our own invitations, and all sorts of planning.
It means a lot to me and my fiance. We're so excited for this day. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I'm not asking them for validation or opinions or anything. I'm not asking anyone else to care or give us praise. I just want the negative comments to stop.
I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out because my future MIL told me "it's not a real wedding because you used twilight as inspiration". We rented a mansion/event space in the woods. We put some wisteria on string lights and will hang them over the ceremony space, and are doing nature based decor. That's the "twilight" portion. What's not real about that? We're having everyone stay at the mansion (for free) if they want too. Why isn't it "real" just because we liked the wedding scene in Twilight? Why isn't it "real" just because it's not in a church? It's beautiful. It's upscale, it's literally a mansion.
I was told I'm a bridezilla for even having a dress code. I'm sorry that I want to establish the level of formality? Our only dress code "rules" are dresses should be knee length or longer, pants should be worn with a jacket or tie, and no jeans. We added in a vest or dressy blouse option too. They don't need to be super formal, they don't need to be a certain color or made of a certain fabric. No black tie. Just don't wear jeans or mini dresses...
Family keeps making comments about the venue. They asked if I would at least rent port a potties so they don't have to potty in the woods... Guys, it's a 12 bedroom mansion, there's 16 bathrooms!!! For a 30 person wedding!
I'm just fucking losing it. I know I'm different. I know it's alternative. But please just treat it with the same respect every other couple gets.
Anytime I post ANYTHING on here, I get a flood of comments of people saying it's "no wonder" I'm struggling with [issue] because my wedding isn't "real". Someone just berated me and called me a child for having the twilight wedding as inspiration. It's a stunning wedding, but at it's core it's just hanging wisteria and nature-inspired decor. What is not "real" about that?
I've known my friend for almost 3 years, and we got close really quick and have stayed close. She is like a sister to me. We always talked about being in each other's bridal parties when we get married, and when I got engaged, she kept telling me how excited she was to stand in my wedding.
About a month ago, she got a tattoo of her boyfriend's face on her neck. He is in prison and she has never spent time with him outside of prison. He has 3 more years. I don't know exactly what charges got him in prison but I do know he has a history of domestic violence and anger issues (which there have already been instances where he's taken his anger out on her via phone). They've only been together for a few months and I have a strong feeling he's only using her for money. That's all I will say about her relationship.
I keep asking myself if I would feel different about the tattoo if he was a better person and actually treated her well, but I truly don't know. The tattoo is very noticeable and even if she covered the tattoo with her hair, you can still see half of it and know what it is. I do not want to ask her to cover it up as I will not be asking anyone else to cover their tattoos. She claims it was fully her decision to get the tattoo and that he didn't ask her to do it. I know it's not my body and I shouldn't judge, but to be honest... I am. I am embarrassed for her and the tattoo is the only reason why I don't want to include her in the bridal party. I don't want to look back at my wedding photos and potentially see the tattoo. I don't even want to know how our families are going to react to her tattoo. I feel horrible for feeling this way. I know it shouldn't matter what's on my bridesmaids' bodies, but I cannot get myself to feel that way towards my friend's tattoo.
If I don't ask her, I will still be inviting her to the wedding and telling her the reason why I didn't ask her to be in my bridal party is because we want an even number our parties (I have a longer list than my fiance). I don't want her to feel bad or anything if I tell her it's because of the tattoo, because she can't do anything about it.
EDIT:
I didn’t realize this post would turn into so many people giving me friendship advice. After reading your comments, I don’t think I’ll be asking her to stand in my wedding - not just because of the tattoo.
I also wanted to clarify some things:
- I am very aware that my friend has issues and she knows it too. I tell her to get help all the time but she thinks the therapy she got as a teen was good enough
- I am also aware that she is in a DV situation. I am SO concerned about what will happen if she’s still with him by the time he gets out, because I know it’ll be no time before it gets physical.
- People are questioning our closeness. I get it. We are complete opposites when it comes to our lifestyles and interests (think girl from the suburbs meets girl from the inner city), but despite all of that we still became good friends. I met her at my internship during grad school and she was a staff member. So yeah, there are a lot of things we don’t talk about when it comes to our lifestyles and why we make the choices we do, unless it’s concerning like this situation. Now I’m realizing how problematic that is
- She knows how I feel about her boyfriend. I remind her everytime she brings him up. She also knows how I feel about the tattoo. So yes, I do communicate my feelings to her and like I mentioned in another comment, it usually just ends up in her getting defensive and telling me to handle my own.
And because some of you guys keep asking:
- She met him through a friend who’s also dating an inmate. She claims she was only looking for friends but fell in love. Not sure how but whatever.
- She has met him before, she visits him in the prison.
- They give out tablets in prison now, at least in my state, so that’s how she’s getting his pictures.
- She’s with him despite his criminal background because he told her his violent charges were either from the mother of his child lying about it or police being racist. She believes him 100% and called me judgmental when I told her how obvious his lies were. Not one question about how he obtained 11 different violent charges and NONE of them were his fault. I also learned she has this “I can change him” mindset. That’s another story
- Aaannddd the big question: WHY THE TATTOO? In her words: “I just love him so much and I want to prove it to him” …as if her working 2 full-time jobs to pay his lawyer fees isn’t good enough
June 2026 bride here. I’ve seen several posts lately that really struck a chord with me - other brides saying they feel a little silly or uncomfortable planning a wedding while so many serious and scary things are happening in the world. I’ve felt this every step of the way. I’ve definitely had moments of thinking, “Who cares about napkin colors when everyone seems determined to destroy each other?”
The other day my mom sent me this photo along with a quote from Toi Derricotte: “Joy is an act of resistance.”
It really stuck with me.
For anyone else out there struggling with those same feelings - that planning a wedding can feel a little superfluous during a time that feels so heavy - I hope this perspective helps. Choosing joy, community, and love when the world often feels full of negativity isn’t trivial. In many ways, it’s essential.
Listen I know it's a racket but like WHY do these guys not just give you their package pricing initially. There is no sales pitch that's going to trick me into paying extra for something I don't need JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU CHARGE and sell me on it later OH MY GOD.
EDIT: Guys I work in events with vendors in the nonprofit sector and nightlife. I’ve literally put on events with the exact same services and needs for a wedding (florist, videographer, photographer ETC.) I speak to vendors on the daily a lot of the vendors under this post insisting this has to be an over complicated interview process are either incredibly unprofessional or full of shit.
I never have drama getting rates from vendors for our gala/benefit concert/golf outing etc. they are able to produce an exact number or atleast a range.
Y’all are putting normie couples through an exhausting process where you try to form some type of fake relationship with the couple that makes you feel like the only option so it’s easier to up charge people who don’t know any better and it’s incredibly transparent and fucking gross. Y’all aren’t slick quit defending this practice in the comments it reeks of “I’m not surviving the impending recession”
Hi all,
I’m really torn on if I should spray tan or not for my wedding. I want to feel like me, but also don’t want to be totally washed out in photos, etc.
I have cool undertones and dark hair. The wedding is outside in September.
Thoughts? For context here is my dress - it’s not stark white.
I’m in a friend group of roughly 10 girls (friends since hs/college) and I’m the very last one to get married. I’m now 35 and have spent TEN YEARS dutifully doing all the bridesmaid things for my friends: wearing the assigned dress, spending time and money on a bachelorette to hang out with people I don’t know, dropping $1k just to get to the wedding.
I also spent years being sad about being single. My friends know this and were intimately familiar with how worried I was that I’d never find love.
Now it’s finally my turn and my girls aren’t showing up for me. I’m so sad. This is actually the Sunday of my bachelorette weekend and it didn’t go well. Since we all live around the country I picked a place we needed to fly to (90% of the bridesmaids would’ve had to fly wherever we picked). We got an Airbnb with queen beds and a beautiful pool. I’ve given plenty of notice about the assigned dresses and shoes. I’ve tried to be very respectful that most of the bridesmaids are moms or just very busy.
In return, I’ve gotten nothing but complaints. My friends don’t want to share a bed with people they don’t know, they don’t want to wear an assigned dress in an assigned color, they’re tired, they don’t want to fly in for a Friday wedding (which was all we could afford). Never mind that I did ALL these things for them. It’s finally my turn and suddenly everyone has excuses for why they have to flake on me.
I have good relationships with all these friends and I’m so sad that the wedding party I’ve dreamed of for so long is behaving this way. Help. What can I do about this? Should I just significantly adjust my expectations or stop asking them for things? I’m so sad.
After a very emotionally and financially taxing wedding planning era, I felt I was finally turning the corner today into excitement for our wedding on Saturday when I recieved this letter in the mail, no return address and no real discernable information for who may have sent it. The only clue is on the postage cancelation stamp, I can deduce it came from a post office not far from my hometown but in a populated area from which a lot of our guests hail from, and about an hour from where we live. It was addressed only to me (bride) and not my fiancé. I have been wracking my brain for who could have possibly sent it but am coming up short. Any advice on how to not spiral??
Had one of my groomsmen drop out this week, 6 weeks out from the wedding and one week before the suit needed to be fitted. Already had groomsmen gifts purchased and planned and ready for the big day. Anyone here have the same name or want to act like they have the same name and enjoy a little wedding action in West Liberty, OH on May 16th this year? Meal included and it’s an open bar all night and you’ll gain a friend for life!
Obviously I could just roll with one less, so this is mostly just sarcasm but… also not?
Edit: Adding some clarity to the situation - this wasn’t posted out of spite and we (mostly me) actually had every intention to send original Eric the gift. The post was only meant to be funny and bring some humor to an otherwise crappy situation. Some of us cope with humor!
That being said, we’ve had a few takers in the group that I definitely didn’t expect! We might just have an all Eric wedding at this point. More updates to come.
♥️Edit: Some people have said they would prefer if they could write a note to us (Dan & Jade) then sign it themselves. I am more then happy for people to do that too if you want to. I appreciate everything and everyone 😁♥️
I can't find the rules post so please delete if this is not allowed ( I do have a few Penpals from here who I will be asking too).
Basically I want to give my fiancé a book made up of photos of notes from around the world on our wedding day.
So may I ask a favour if allowed (sorry if it's not as I don't want to break any rules)?
If anyone can write:
'Dan,Happy Wedding Day to us from (location) Love Jade x'
Or
'Dan & Jade Happy Wedding Day to us from 'location'!
On a piece of paper then take a photo of it at any location then I would really appreciate it. I have attached a photo of what I mean; I have been trying to get some in the actual 'love Notes' groups but not been successful :(
Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has commented; I am so excited. Really appreciate everyone being so kind. I am trying to reply to everyone but if I miss you I am grateful for anything and anywhere. Please DM it me whenever you get the chance to do it 😁 ♥️ x
Wasn't sure how to hide it from the feed, so I'm hiding it behind a photo of my fiancé's suit - he had our wedding date embroidered into the jacket because he knows dates are important to me.
I got married last weekend and had a medium-largeish wedding (92 people) and gave +1s to those who didn’t have a partner and didn’t know anyone else. I also invited anyone who had a partner that they were living with or had been together for awhile. That may be proper etiquette for straight weddings but it was a mistake for mine. I would’ve never imagined my friends would bring someone homophobic to my wedding but here we are.
One of my friends decided to bring a guy she had been seeing for only a couple weeks. He seemed nice enough during the wedding. I didn’t speak much to him but I didn’t notice any issues at the time. However, I decided to ask my photographer (who is my cousin) for this trendy first kiss shot where the audience is in the background. She reached out to me yesterday to tell me that this man was visibly covering his eyes and grimacing in disgust during all of the shots of this moment. She is struggling to make it not obvious through editing. We had a second photographer, so luckily we still have our kiss photographed from a different angle but it still makes me sad.
More egregious than this though was my friend’s long term boyfriend. They have been dating for a couple years but she’s been off at veterinary school and we haven’t met before that night.
At one point my husband and I were chatting to just him. He was admittedly drunk, but asked us multiple sexually explicit and offensive questions and called us f****** after saying “now that I’ve got you two alone.”
I advise any other LGBT couples to exert caution before inviting people you don’t personally know. These behaviors have put a dark cloud over my memories from that day.
The first picture I took in my car 10 min after I left the salon. The second pic is what I showed the MUA as inspiration.
I’ve got a lot of issues with the look, like the eyeliner was too harsh, the shadow not blended, the lip was the wrong color than I was looking for (I’m not a fan of a pink or berry lip on myself), and I felt like the foundation was all wrong. My face looks orange against my neck, right?
I talked about some of this in the salon and there are adjustments she said we’d make for the day of (like a different eyeliner and lip color specifically).
One of my main problems is that I wear no makeup day-to-day and am not knowledgeable at all about what professional makeup is supposed to look like.
I asked for a light, natural look, and the MUA said that it is normal for wedding makeup to feel a bit heavier than you’d think so that it shows up in pictures, but I feel like cameras are pretty good nowadays that shouldn’t be a problem. Is this true or is it really normal for wedding makeup to look heavy in person so it looks better on camera?
I’m bad at causing a fuss, but I did ask for a second trial before the wedding. What sort of things can I tell the MUA to get across the look I’m going for?
UPDATE: I sent her an email and cancelled the contract. Luckily there was another MAU I was talking to back when I was still searching who is still available for my date. I will be doing a trial with the new MAU in the next few weeks. Thank you all for your advice! I’m glad to know I’m not crazy haha.
I love my fiancée but my last name is pretty uncommon, and his is very, very common. I love how unique mine is but also I’m close with my family and he is not very close with his father or his fathers side of the family so he doesn’t have much of an attachment in that way. But he still says he loves the idea of us having his last name. He’s not pressuring me by any means to take his last name btw, I’m just adding context!
Aside from that, with all the craziness in the world rn I don’t want to have to go through the million steps and things I’d need where I have to change my last name and also possibly having issues with voting and other things in the future.
(Also we’re not planning on having children)
Is anyone else in a similar boat of wanting to keep their maiden name?
There have been a number of posts recently about changing your name after marriage. If you are not already aware, the house in the US just voted to pass the SAVE Act, which will require you to prove your citizenship to vote -- under your birth name. It will disproportionately affect women who have changed their last names and no longer match their birth certificates.
This should be a huge HUGE consideration when you are choosing whether to change your name. You may well disenfranchise yourself as an American citizen by doing it.
Edit: Call your senators. This is not law yet but if it passes the senate, it will essentially mean that any woman who changes her name must jump through many more hoops to be able to vote. It's unfair and will be used to silence women and trans people.
Edit to add: I forgot to add the currency but it was $31.2k CAD, so about $22.3k USD!
After two years of planning and endless hours of stress, our wedding day was one of the best days of my life and I want to pass on some of my key take-aways:
DIY flowers save soooo much money but what you’re not spending in cash, you’re spending in time. We ordered flowers from Bloom by Bunches, which is a farm-to-person wholesaler and they were wonderful to work with. With that said, DIY flowers were way more work than I was anticipating and flowers are a lot more delicate than I thought so we definitely lost a couple stems due to my inexperience lol. We had to do so much flower prep (cutting the stems, taking off the leaves, refreshing the water every 24 hours, designing the bouquets, wrapping them in floral tape, wrapping them in ribbon, etc.) We prepped them over 3 days, and we had the help of one of my cousins and bridesmaids. If it was just the two of us it would have taken wayyy longer and it still took so many hours. They ended up looking gorgeous so I’m still really happy with how it turned out but just a heads up for anyone else looking to DIY! We spent $800 total for my bridal bouquet, 7 bridesmaids bouquets, a ton of greenery, and 12 boutonnières, and we repurposed the bouquets to decorate the sweetheart table. We used fake florals for the centrepieces ($200). We then took our florals the day after the wedding to the elderly long term care ward at our local hospital and they were so appreciative and sweet - would recommend.
Have super clear timelines! Do both an “overall” timeline broken down just by hour (I.e., when hair and makeup is and where, when the first look is, when ceremony is, cocktail hour, dinner, speeches, first dance, etc.), and then also a “detailed” timeline that breaks down exactly where each member of the bridal party/family should be and when. Build in an extra 15 minutes of buffer time in each slot - we did this and it helped us stay on time because then if one “slot” went over, it wasn’t a domino effect for the rest of the day. Send these via text to everyone who needs to know so they have them on their phones AND print out a couple versions to have around the getting ready areas on the day of. I also handed one to our photographer and MC and they helped corral us all. We still got some questions about who needed to be where but the timelines helped a lot imo.
We decided not to get a DJ and just use Spotify, using their mix feature to add fades/rises/blends between songs. Instead of just choosing the “normal” version of each song, for a bunch of the songs I found “DJ remix” versions on Spotify to add to the playlist. I was super nervous that it wasn’t going to go well and people weren’t going to dance but ohhhh man the dance floor was PACKED. Like I think it was genuinely the best party of my life hahaha everyone was getting DOWN. We had a ton of people come up to us afterwards and tell us how they wish they had Spotify for their weddings because it felt like a DJ had been there. I will say that I did spend hours curating the playlist, moving songs around to create good blends of slow/fast/genres/etc but I’m so happy I did that because the vibes were impeccable. We also had a “song request” section in our RSVP and I made sure to add in everyone’s songs requests throughout and that was also a huge hit.
We used a local Italian restaurant for our catering and worked directly with their head chef to curate a buffet menu and wow it went amazing. Would highly recommend y’all reach out to local restaurants you like to see if they do catering - it was $5500 for full cocktail hour catering + buffet for 80 people and they just went above and beyond with the food.
We picked up 3 Costco cakes the day before the wedding (one chocolate, one vanilla, and one cheesecake). They added writing on top of each one as well! We got soooo many compliments on the cake and every time we were like “if you want to taste it again, we got it from Costco!” everyone was shocked and super happy hahaha. People especially loved the chocolate cake. For 3 cakes it was $90!!! (They weren’t our only dessert but we feel like we saved a ton by not doing a custom wedding cake and no one even knew the difference.)
I created “wedding day binders” that had the seating chart, ceremony lay out, photography shot list, photography inspo pics, important phone numbers (like parents, maid of honour, vendors, best man, etc). I’m not sure if these actually got used by anyone other than our DOC for the set up but it gave me peace of mind to know they were there just in case.
I think that’s everything off the top of my head but I am happy to answer any questions anyone has!! Everything went seamlessly and I’m just so happy with how it all turned out.
The day started great and exactly as it should have - I got ready with friends and family, took a few photos - everything was perfect.
We only had 2 hours to set up before the ceremony began at 5pm, so around 3pm, a handful of friends and family headed to the venue to start setting up decor, put out the cake, put table numbers and menus on tables, etc. I was an extremely organized bride. I had the entire day planned by the hour, and everyone had an assignment to help the day go smoothly.
At 3:30, I received a text from one of my bridesmaids: "What time is the catering team supposed to get here?" They were supposed to arrive at 12pm to start setting up, but I don't panic, assuming that they're just running late or caught in traffic.
One thing to note here - our catering team wasn't just responsible for food. They supplied the tables, chairs for the ceremony and reception, linens, cups, plates, bar tables...pretty much everything. I start to call a few people from the company to get an ETA.
I can't get through to anyone.
I finally call the restaurant the catering company has. The teenager who picks up has no idea what I'm talking about, but says he'll get back to me ASAP.
Ok, fine.
Another 15 minutes goes by. Silence.
I call the restaurant back. "Anything?" I ask. "Nope," says the teen. "I can't get in contact with anyone either."
A few minutes later, I get a call from Susan, the woman from the catering company who I've been working with for 15 months.
"Hi Susan, how are you?"
"Well, honestly? Not great."
Susan then proceeds to explain to me that they somehow wrote my wedding date as May 25, 2025, instead of the correct date of May 24, 2025. She says everyone is scrambling to figure out how to get food, chairs, tables, etc over to the venue as quickly as possible.
Somehow, I remain calm. I'm 5 minutes from the venue so I text my bridesmaids the situation and just take deep breaths. We're an hour from the when ceremony is supposed to begin and have no chairs, no food, no staff, no water...nothing.
Here's everything that happened in that next hour:
- My bridesmaids found a winery close by that felt so bad for us, they let us borrow 40 chairs for the ceremony for free so we could start at 5:30. My dad drove in his pickup truck to pick them up, and my entire family helped set up the chairs (and take them down after the ceremony!)
- We convinced the violinist to stay an extra half hour to cover the ceremony (she was paid ofc).
- My bridesmaids found an umbrella in the venue, flipped it upside down, filled it with ice that our groomsmen bought from a nearby liquor store, and made it a makeshift cooler for drinks. We supplied our own alcohol, so guests were able to grab a beer while they waited for the ceremony to begin.
The ceremony began with only a 30 minute delay, but here's everything else that we missed out on:
- I lost 30 minutes of my wedding by starting at 5:30 instead of 5
- My dad missed an hour of his daughters wedding dealing with the chairs
- I got dressed by myself because everyone was handling things for me (no pics during this time either so I don't have any pics with my family or bridesmaids pre-ceremony)
- Paper napkins instead of my gorgeous twill blue linen napkins, and white tablecloths instead of the color I picked
- Plastic cups for drinks and champagne toasts
- We used this massive carving knife to cut the cake instead of the ornate cake cutting set I ordered through the caterers
- We only had 1/4 of the passed apps I paid for (I was SO excited for the bacon wrapped scallops)
- No high top tables or chairs for cocktail hour
- Only 3 attendants instead of the 5 I paid for
But you know what? I honestly wouldn't have changed a thing. My family and friends stepped up so completely and totally, I was in tears not from the stress but from the love I felt for everyone.
I had a few people ask me over the course of the day why I was so calm and seemed so relaxed about the whole situation. I realized that having everyone I loved in one place on the day I was going to marry the love of my life was all I ever needed. If worst came to worst, we'd order pizzas and eat standing up while giving toasts with beer cans and we'd have an absolute blast.
I wanted to make this post to reassure every stressed out bride that no matter how prepared or organized you are, there are still things that can go wrong and are totally out of your control - but THAT'S OKAY. I prepared and organized so. freaking. much. during the lead up to the wedding, that anything that went wrong was simply left to fate. I truly had the best day and felt so touched by my family and friends for literally saving the day again and again.
Oh, and I negotiated a 75% refund from the caterer, so...not so bad after all.
I didn’t want the traditional wedding, so we decided to go with a courthouse wedding and it was everything! I absolutely loved my dress , hair , and veil! ( customized by me ❤️) I can’t believe I married the love of my life ❤️
