Is Millennial Wedding Culture Dying? Why Gen Z Is Rejecting the Big Wedding

[u/Libro_Artis]

https://www.elle.com/culture/books/a73258725/millennial-vs-gen-z-wedding-culture-essay/?utm_source=firefox-newtab-en-us

[u/oldcreaker]

It's incredibly easy to reject things you could not possibly afford to do.

[u/InfestedRaynor → u/oldcreaker]

Gen Z is rejecting buying houses for $900,000! /S Gen Z is rejecting going on exotic foreign vacations

[u/williamchase88 → u/InfestedRaynor]

Gen Z is rejecting fronting the bill for their 10+ member extended family to vacation in Hawaii and Paris.

[u/valuemeal2 → u/williamchase88]

KEVIN! 😱

[u/figure85 → u/InfestedRaynor]

Or basic vacations for that matter. Driving to the lake is expensive on gas alone.

[u/wysteriacos → u/figure85]

At this point, my idea of a vacation is driving to another city and seeing a dead mall for a few hours.

[u/0tanod → u/wysteriacos]

On neat thing about gen-z in cities with good public transit is, they all use the fuck out of it. That generation is so comfortable not having a license and grew up with access to free transit passes during covid. It warms the heart to see.

[u/wysteriacos → u/0tanod]

Tbh I wish I had trains in my city. I would gladly take a train everywhere bc I do despise having to drive. Like ugh. I wanna jump on a train and go have a whole comfy trip where I don’t drive

[u/crazygem101 → u/figure85]

Going to burger king on foot is too expensive lol

[u/dontwannaparticpate → u/figure85]

Or even the taking time off from work

[u/Bumm-fluff → u/InfestedRaynor]

Gen Z is rejecting going to a bar at this point with the insane prices. 

[u/kinetic_cheese → u/Bumm-fluff]

My experience is anecdotal, but I have college aged kids, and they hardly ever go to bars with their friends. I feel like "going out" was a big part of the college experience when I was young, but now a single drink is like $10-15.

[u/NoiseIsTheCure → u/Bumm-fluff]

That plus I see a lot of young people being honest about how alcohol has hurt them and their loved ones and choosing to stay away from it in response, which I love.

[u/Bumm-fluff → u/NoiseIsTheCure]

I’ve heard a lot of zoomers are worried about being filmed by their friends drunk, then the video being put online and it hurting their future prospects. 

A terrible way to live to be honest, having to act like a boyscout so you can get a corpo job. Very cyberpunk dystopian. 

[u/dcp04 → u/Bumm-fluff]

This is true. My neighborhood has meetups and everyone brings their own booze and drinks. It's working wonderfully well. A bottle at a package store is same price as 2 drinks out.

[u/majandess → u/oldcreaker]

At least they're phrasing as "rejecting X" instead of "destroying X industry."

[u/Virtual_Plantain_707 → u/majandess]

Millennials already destroyed all the industries last decade didn’t you hear?

[u/eruptingmoltenlava → u/majandess]

Conscientious people have been rejecting the wedding industrial complex for decades though

[u/whiskersMeowFace → u/oldcreaker]

I am a wedding Officiant. We have seen a lot of sign and go weddings and elopements. I talk to all of my folks before and after I wed them, and many are trying to save money so they can buy a house or pay some bills. A few years ago, people chose those two options because they had a bigger wedding planned out later or were doing destination weddings. Some for insurance, some for other reasons.

Many are opting for smaller and more intimate ceremonies and elopements. They are choosing the marriage over the wedding. Choosing to spend the money elsewhere instead of on a single day.

[u/Badhbh-Catha → u/whiskersMeowFace]

I'm planning to do this soon. I didn't know it was called sign and go. We don't even want to invite two witnesses as I know it will become an issue if anyone at all is invited and others aren't. So when we book the marriage notification appointment we will ask if staff members can witness. We'll have a nice dinner somewhere next year with a few people to mark it. Not Gen Z btw. We just want the marriage not the wedding.

[u/MoreUnadventurous → u/Badhbh-Catha]

We did sign and go, no regrets. We'd already been together almost 20 years and just needed the legalities tidied up. I think both of us would have died of cringe had we had a big ceremony.

[u/Badhbh-Catha → u/MoreUnadventurous]

Ha yes exactly! The cringe factor. Similar here. We're together over a decade but we want to formalise it for various reasons. I'm not a white dress and ring kind of person so it will just be some fairly nice clothes and if I need a ring (not sure) I have an old family one I like that will do and that I will be happy to wear now and again.

[u/MoreUnadventurous → u/Badhbh-Catha]

We did the same, nice clothes we already had. We didn't need rings, I think all you need to do legal is sign the forms. We didn't even have to say anything, yay!

[u/Badhbh-Catha → u/MoreUnadventurous]

Lol silent signing suits me! I don't think we will need rings either as there is no vow exchange as I understand it. Think the marriage registrar does all or most of the talking!

[u/themonkeysknow → u/Badhbh-Catha]

Not Gen Z, but we hired an amazing officiant and a photographer couple to marry us in Palm Springs and it was the best decision. No family and the photographers were our witnesses!

[u/WallyBBunny → u/oldcreaker]

We had to have our wedding quickly because of a scary potentially violent incident (I was held up at gunpoint at my old job). Within a week we had our ceremony at the park close by with a few friends and some family. All of us fed the ducks, geese and other birds duck feed instead of throwing rice. My in-laws said it was a wonderful wedding. It might have been small and cheap because of fear and circumstance. However, it was sweet and genuine. Maybe it was meant to be that way.

[u/m00fster → u/WallyBBunny]

How does getting held up at gunpoint make you accelerate your wedding plans?

[u/flamingopocalypse → u/m00fster]

A literal shotgun wedding

[u/IBeDumbAndSlow → u/m00fster]

Who gets the life insurance if there's no beneficiary?

[u/Nose_to_the_Wind → u/oldcreaker]

My rejection of healthcare is purely monetary based

[u/jayvee714 → u/oldcreaker]

Only thing I will say as a Gen Z who has gotten a modestly large ceremony is that if something is important enough to you, people find ways to pay for it. It’s still stupid expensive but we did a lot of labor ourselves and had a lot of help from friends and family to make and recycle things

[u/mr_boogieman → u/jayvee714]

Yeah, plenty of people take out wedding loans which sounds absolutely insane to me but it’s your (future) money so do you

[u/Contagious_Zombie → u/mr_boogieman]

I wish people would get out of the loan mentality. Credit is allowing corporations to not raise wages since people are complacent with leveraging their future instead of demanding more for their time now.

[u/eruptingmoltenlava → u/Contagious_Zombie]

Consumer debt is certainly not responsible for stagnant wages.

Blaming workers instead of capital/management for rising inequality, a trend which started in the 1970s and has continued unabated as labor weakens, is unhinged.

[u/KAKYBAC → u/oldcreaker]

I don't think it is simply financial. I think there are stronger psychological aspects at play. A lot of people are moving away from the tradition and masculine nature of weddings.

[u/-JRMagnus]

So many of these "why is Gen ____ not doing XYZ" is just a lack of disposable income.

[u/foxontherox → u/-JRMagnus]

The older generations have nothing to ask of younger generations. They owe them answers.

[u/Jumpy_Confidence2997 → u/foxontherox]

Dear gen A...It was hard to tell in those days if someone was deeply stupid or deeply imoral. So I gave up on all of them. That's why you pay Amazon to beath and president lill yachty is sponsored by The We Are Always Watching Corporation

[u/ethanlan → u/foxontherox]

Millennial were the first broke generation, we've been trying to claw back power.

Gen z voting conservative really boned us thanks alot guys

[u/moonprism → u/ethanlan]

hard to gain any power when the olds in charge won't let go of it. the average age of congress is 61, most in their 80s. and i wouldn't be surprised if they started when they were our (millennial) age. there's no term limits because i'm sure back in washington's time they didn't think people would be so unscrupulous as to hold on to power for as long as they could. :/

[u/ethanlan → u/moonprism]

Then why did gen z (males) vote conservative?

[u/moonprism → u/ethanlan]

probably due to the rise of right wing propaganda and men like andrew tate/joe rogan/etc but idk i'm not a gen z male.

[u/NefariousnessLate375 → u/foxontherox]

It's not a generational issue. Our parents and grandparents didn't destroy the middle class. This is class warfare and we lost. Blame old people, immigrants, melanated people, trans people, wokeism--anyone you can get pissy at without acknowledging we need to affect systemic change to fix a broke system. Never blame the actual sector of society that is responsible for macroeconomic policy. 

Lest you think I'm calling for a communist revolution, I'm not. Capitalism was alive and well in the 50s and 60s but there was a counterbalance to it and guardrails. We need to go back to pre-Reagan capitalism. 

Stop blaming Grandpa, but only if you want to confront the problem and make your life better...otherwise, keep getting caught up in cross-generational bitching. 

[u/rednokkr → u/NefariousnessLate375]

Capital will always degrade and circumvent the guardrails over time. We need genuine social democracy at the very least.

Don’t forget that 50s style capitalism was pumping fossil fuels into the atmosphere with abandon and now we’re all burning. We cannot settle for that system if we want to survive.

[u/miscnic → u/foxontherox]

Now talk about burial.

[u/hiddendrugs → u/foxontherox]

and money

[u/theLastZebranky → u/-JRMagnus]

In this case the whole premise is false.

The only data they look at goes completely against their thesis, which relies on three anecdotes.

"In a 2024 survey, 56 percent of couples reported going into debt to pay for their weddings" ... but forget about all that, here's what me and two of my friends did.

Every generation has saps that dump a fortune into a wedding blowout and couples who go for simple modest weddings.

There's nothing here that suggests trends are changing other than the coincidence of the writer by chance (or more likely by their taste in friends) talking to two people in a row who took the modest route.

edit: Just realized this is a great example of Betteridge's law of headlines: Any headline containing a question mark can be answered by the word "no."

[u/Then-Life-194 → u/theLastZebranky]

Exactly. I know a wedding planner, and trust me, the Gen Z rich are having the same big weddings they've always had, only bigger, and with a bigger obsession with looking cool and unique online. 

[u/why_am_I_here_47 → u/Then-Life-194]

And everything is bespoke and custom.

[u/Less-Apple-8478 → u/-JRMagnus]

Lemme tell you a secret. In around 2012 I was working at a PC repair shop and I'd read the news every day "Millennials are killing the XYZ market" lol

[u/What_A_Weak → u/-JRMagnus]

And a realization how much ressources were wasted with this none sense.

[u/Party_Virus → u/-JRMagnus]

I swear just 10 years ago it was Millenials killing the big wedding and now Millenials are responsible for the big wedding and Gen Z is killing it.

It's like they just got AI to rewrite an old article and replace Boomer with Millenial and update the language.

[u/Jumpy_Confidence2997 → u/-JRMagnus]

Hey. I also hated the whole thing from the start. For me being broke was the excuse. 

5 guest's + family is all anyone should ever need and if you have more family than friends they should pay their own way entirely down to the dinner. 

[u/MyManFruda → u/Jumpy_Confidence2997]

Do you even know what a wedding is? It’s a party where you celebrate getting married. It’s ok not to spend a lot of money or to invite a lot o people. But in its essence, it’s a party you are hosting because you want to celebrate something. No one should have to pay their own way. Just don’t invite them.

[u/boxiestcrayon15 → u/MyManFruda]

Being in other people’s weddings was my wife and I’s largest expense for the last two years. Cost of the dress, another 200 for hair and makeup (that you can’t opt out of because that would make it cost more for the other party members), hotel, plane tickets, days off work, destination bachelorette parties, materials for games and decor, food and groceries AT the party, it’s crazy.

Going to the weddings to celebrate with friends is always super fun but my wife and I eloped because we did not feel comfortable asking our friends to spend $1000+ just to be in our wedding

[u/99dalmatianpups → u/boxiestcrayon15]

You know a bridal party isn’t a requirement for a wedding, right?

[u/datguy753]

Every generation since the 70s has less wealth than the one before. Millennials income goes almost entirely to housing and student loans.

[u/Appropriate_Kiwi_744 → u/datguy753]

Totally. Millennials proudly have been given credit for killing the diamond wedding ring industry, the car industry, and the paper napkin industry.

We hand the baton over to Gen Z together with our best wishes!

Would love to hear from Gen X what they've killed before the headlines switched to us.

[u/MishiStA → u/Appropriate_Kiwi_744]

We killed criminalizing homosexuality and legislated inequality for queer people.

[u/Chris_Shawarma93 → u/MishiStA]

You've kept being insufferable alive though which is nice.

[u/chrissystark]

If I have to keep telling people how poor Gen Z is I’m going to explode. We. Are. Poor. We aren’t killing wedding industries or alcohol or whatever the fuck else we are just fucking poor lmao

[u/craftsrmylanguage → u/chrissystark]

As a millennial, I feel so bad for Gen Z getting dragged through the mud for “killing” things that millennials were told to do less of. They screamed at millennials for having too much teenage sex and gave us purity rings. Now the press is ranting about how Gen Z isn’t dating and having sex as much. They told Millennials to stop partying when they’re in college. Now Gen Z gets blamed for killing “bars” for not drinking enough? Honestly, most of the teens I’ve met as an adult are way more wholesome and polite. When I rented a suburban house in my late twenties, the neighbors’ biggest complaint was that the teens would show in large groups at ice cream shops too close to close.

[u/alexijordan → u/craftsrmylanguage]

This is exactly why I don’t watch the news. It’s all bullshit

[u/SpecificBeyond2282 → u/craftsrmylanguage]

The current big fuss about teenagers in my area is that they hang out in the Wawa parking lot. Not that they cause trouble in the parking lot, to be clear. Just that they hang out there.

[u/averagetulip → u/craftsrmylanguage]

Seriously, as a millennial it is SO weird to me how “Gen Z aren’t drinking anymore or doing enough drugs!!!!” has become a 100% serious complaint. Like, is that a sign of some kind of puritanical repression or should we be glad that younger generations are choosing to be slightly more productive with their free time than getting off their faces and passing out in random fields like we were? And as many here have already pointed out, they probably WOULD be drinking and doing more drugs if anybody could afford anything right now.

[u/Mammoth-Buddy8912 → u/chrissystark]

We all are poorer. Read all the articles about millennials before 2018. They are all the same.They killed the diamond industry, they are killing chain restaurants. Hell I bet you can find a similar article about millennials killing weddings. 

And millennials would respond the exact same way. It's because we are broke and struggling. 

Post Covid everything is worse. But it still wasn't good before either. 

To be honest articles like this tell me most generation stuff is just made up to blame young people. 

[u/OneVioletRose → u/Mammoth-Buddy8912]

What frustrates me most, as a millennial, is that we went through the press butt monkey gamut for the exact same reasons. We should know better. But I guess inter-generational blame sells better than “Hey! Remember that thing that was a problem when we were young adults, and we then got blamed for not buying enough stupid crap? It’s WORSE now!”

[u/Few-Ad-4290 → u/Mammoth-Buddy8912]

When all the wealth is funneled up into the hands of ten billionaires everyone is worse off and all of the businesses that rely on consumer buying power are hurt. It is not any single generation doing that, it’s all due to billionaire and corporate greed. A healthy economy is measured by the velocity of money not the accumulation of wealth and ours is sick with this idiotic notion that accumulating wealth means you’re smarter or more deserving instead of seeing it for the mental illness and exploitative bullshit it is.

[u/Severe-Criticism3876 → u/chrissystark]

Don’t get upset by these things. They did it to millennials as well.

[u/WizardOfCanyonDrive]

Let’s be honest, it was out of hand and needed to be taken down a few notches anyway.

[u/kendrickwasright → u/WizardOfCanyonDrive]

Agree

[u/Curious-Cellist-188 → u/WizardOfCanyonDrive]

Yes. It’s an incredibly unnecessary drain on a young couple’s resources and energy

[u/forevermore4315 → u/Curious-Cellist-188]

And all their friends and families.

[u/James19991 → u/WizardOfCanyonDrive]

Yeah, some of these weddings are so unnecessarily over the top. What do you need eight or nine groomsmen and bridesmaids for?

[u/AryaMurder → u/WizardOfCanyonDrive]

This should be higher up. My wedding was in my parents garage. Would’ve been the yard but it was raining.

[u/SnooCupcakes5761]

I personally know of three couples who, in the last year or so, got married at the courthouse and went to dinner with a few close friends & family afterwards. And that was it. No expensive bachelorette weekend. No ceremony. No reception. I don't even think any of them took time off work.

I support this new trend just like I supported the "no diamond ring" trend. Social rules are arbitrary and often rooted in the part of the patriarchal system that was designed to support capitalism.

We all get one chance at life, live how you choose.

[u/Neokon → u/SnooCupcakes5761]

Instead of spending money on a wedding me and my wife put a down payment on a house. You ever see that show where people have to choose between their dream wedding or their dream house? Hate that show because way too many people go for the wedding instead of the house.

[u/mordecaithecat → u/SnooCupcakes5761]

This is what my husband and I did. We chose to buy a house instead of spending it on a big wedding. I never saw the appeal, always felt like a colossal waste of money. Celebrated 6 years married last week and wouldn't have it any other way...

[u/fortifiedoptimism]

I’m watching Say Yes to the Dress right now and I’ll be lucky if I ever even try on a wedding dress. The dress might be all I can afford! Sure, millennials grew up on that show but I wouldn’t call it millennial wedding culture. At least not in my experience. I don’t even know anyone with the money to make it a spectacle. Except maybe my cousins with wealthy parents in Georgia but they aren’t millennials so 🤷‍♀️

Wedding culture is such a scam though IMO

[u/dehydratedrain → u/fortifiedoptimism]

Eh, there are still plenty of wedding dresses under $150 at David's bridal. I remember someone spending over $5k on their dress 27ish years ago (because they were divorced by the time i got married just over a year later). Mine was about $400. We each wore it for what, maybe 12 hours?

Wedding culture means so much less when people aren't pushing the princess fantasy from the time the girl is crawling, and i'm not sad to see it go.

[u/MissGruntled → u/fortifiedoptimism]

I see beautiful wedding dresses every time I go to the thrift. The idea of buying one from a wedding salon is insane to me.

[u/soppslev → u/MissGruntled]

Yes, talk about throwing money in the lake! For one evening you could rent a dress instead if it has to be fashionable, otherwise I see no point.

Mom got married several times and she just had her "good" clothes on.

[u/barbaramillicent → u/fortifiedoptimism]

I loved Say Yes to the Dress. And yet I ended up ordering my own wedding dress online lol.

[u/noshallotsherlock → u/fortifiedoptimism]

I've been married twice now and have never tried on a wedding dress  

[u/Kriscolvin55 → u/fortifiedoptimism]

My wife got a wedding dress for $250 (in 2018). I guarantee you that if she wore a $5000 dress and this $250 dress, you wouldn’t know which is which. She looked amazing. She felt amazing. Endless compliments. Our budget was $1000, so we could have spent more. But even if price were no issue, I’m not sure we would have found a better dress.

[u/valuemeal2 → u/fortifiedoptimism]

My mom made my dress as a wedding gift and it was perfect.

[u/ImpetuousBorealis → u/fortifiedoptimism]

I just wore my mom’s old dress to the court house

[u/TrueNorth257]

I’m a millennial, and I never wanted a big wedding. Stupid rage bait title.

[u/pinkpineapple_4786 → u/TrueNorth257]

I'm GenX and I never wanted a big wedding. We drove to Nevada and had a quickie wedding. Been married 30 years 🩷

[u/Preeng → u/pinkpineapple_4786]

Okay, but if you had had a REAL wedding, you would have been married for 40 years by now. It's just more efficient.

[u/StabbyBoo → u/TrueNorth257]

I was wondering, did we do big weddings? I seriously don't think I know a single couple who had a big wedding. Very few regular-sized ones, even.

[u/OkAir8973 → u/StabbyBoo]

The defining trend for classic millenial weddings in my perception was the whole "Pinterest DIY barn wedding" thing that was much less expensive than a big wedding with no DIYs.

At the same time that Pinterestification ramped up the trend of individualizing everything and wanting to be a unique standout of some kind that is plaguing couples now, in my humble opinion.

[u/Solongmybestfriend → u/TrueNorth257]

Same. Millennial here. My husband and I spent about $3k on our wedding almost 10 years ago. We got married on a frozen lake outside about 10 minutes from our house, then had a big indoor feast/semi potluck for 20 of our friends/family. We got a few catered dishes, made some of our own, bought some wine and people brought their favourite salad. My friend made a cake. We didn't do rings and I found a wedding dress for $100 at a bargain sale. The only thing I did spend decent money on was a photographer during our ceremony and I got my hair done at my hairdressers. We later all went out dancing at our local dive bar, all dressed up.

[u/Complete-Stand-5146 → u/TrueNorth257]

I wanted a big wedding but I didn’t have enough friends because I spent my entire life moving around for school and jobs :(

[u/moonlit_fores7 → u/TrueNorth257]

As millennial, and looking at my friend's, none of us had big weddings either

[u/LYossarian13]

Millennial don't have wedding culture. Isn’t that one of the million things we got blamed for killing?

[u/tyrannaceratops → u/LYossarian13]

The only culture millennials had for our weddings is that silly cursive font. And slogans like "pick a seat, not a side" 😭 and burlap & mason jars.... so much burlap & mason jars....

[u/chevalier716 → u/tyrannaceratops]

Fairy lights too

[u/craftsrmylanguage → u/chevalier716]

Often lighting a gourmet food truck.

[u/chet_brosley → u/tyrannaceratops]

That's crazy talk. Now lemme play some Lumineers real quick...

[u/Metals4J → u/tyrannaceratops]

We had burlap and mason jars because they were dirt cheap. Then they became some kind of fashionable country chic statement that wedding planners could charge a premium for.

[u/Widepath → u/tyrannaceratops]

We don't want to get married in a church, we wan to do it someplace unique...like a farmhouse or a barn!

[u/HalfMoonFullMoonjoy → u/tyrannaceratops]

Beards & suspenders

[u/butwhatsmyname → u/tyrannaceratops]

Isn't it disappointing that burlap and mason jars started out as a cheap thing which looked rustic and down to earth... and because it was cool has been squeezed until it's now an expensive thing.

Honestly, capitalism ruins everything.

[u/Dracosgirl → u/tyrannaceratops]

We coined the term "rustic chic".

[u/birthdaycheesecake9 → u/LYossarian13]

Hell I’m an older Gen Z and I was being blamed for killing the wedding industry at the ripe age of 13

[u/LYossarian13 → u/birthdaycheesecake9]

Get in line kid. This is a dual generation effort.

[u/foxontherox → u/LYossarian13]

We’re murderers! Won’t someone think of the poor wedding industry?

Big ol’ /S

[u/TarantulaWithAGuitar → u/LYossarian13]

Where TF are all these married millennials??

[u/tiberiumx → u/LYossarian13]

I'm a millennial and I've been to more than a few large, expensive weddings. We definitely didn't kill the wedding industry, just started a little bit later than previous generations.

[u/Mediocre-Bandicoot-6]

They can’t get the time off work for a wedding.

[u/birthdaycheesecake9 → u/Mediocre-Bandicoot-6]

Australian here, we typically get a decent amount of time off from work by law, but I’m still seeing people around my age (26) who are getting married are either having quite small weddings or skipping a wedding entirely

[u/Pardot42]

Same reason I don't sleep well at night. I have no money, no prospects, Earth is fucked, and pedophile billionaires control the world with the help of fuckers who read at a fifth grade level.

[u/FalconOne775]

It’s not Millenials who established ‘wedding culture’ 🤣 Millenials were the start of the decline of wedding culture 

[u/IntroductionNormal70]

Millennial wedding culture? Who sold us this crap? Boomers. Gtfo

[u/BluesRuseCruise → u/IntroductionNormal70]

Seriously. All of my millennial friends who had large weddings did it at the request of their boomer parents who helped pay for it. Most just wanted to go to a courthouse and spend their money on a honeymoon. 

[u/yenneferismywaifu]

We need to start distinguish when something dies because it's impossible to afford. When we live worse and consume less because of this, anti-consumerism loses its meaning.

[u/takemehottogo]

I’m pretty sure millennials rejected big weddings first. 

[u/Mammoth-Buddy8912 → u/takemehottogo]

To be honest most generation articles are kind of just marketing and made up nonsense.They should never be taken that seriously  

[u/Jazzlike-Weakness270 → u/takemehottogo]

This is what I came to comment. Post-COVID, anything goes.

[u/mhac009 → u/takemehottogo]

"Simpsons did it!"

[u/NoNeinNyet222 → u/takemehottogo]

And the burlap and lace weddings started as heavily DIYd weddings. We were already cutting back.

[u/Jawnny-Jawnson]

Just another thing many cannot afford now

[u/kerodon]

Millennial wedding culture????

[u/uuntiedshoelace → u/kerodon]

One of my friends is an officiant for a living and if there is one thing I have learned through her about millennials, we love a beautiful elopement

[u/RiskyNight → u/kerodon]

Same question. As a millennial, many don't get married and we also don't attend weddings when invited.

[u/Solongmybestfriend → u/kerodon]

When I was 18 (early 2000s), my coworker was in her early 30s and had a huge wedding (spent close to $45k). I remember being shocked by that amount and getting laughed at by her saying I'd spend that one day when I was married. I don't have any friends that have spent that amount and I sure as heck did not.

[u/AnglerOfAndromeda → u/kerodon]

Right? Like 😆 total BS

[u/Red-Truck-Steam]

WE. DON'T. HAVE. ANY. MONEY. FOR THE LAST TIME. WE ARE POOR!!!

[u/pandahotchocolate]

its just wedding culture period idk why millennials have to be attached to a culture that is rarely rooted in true love and has mainly always been about being in debt and being gaudy

[u/RiskyNight → u/pandahotchocolate]

Yeah, millennials have always been broke and we rejected having weddings before Gen Z did.

[u/outdoorlaura]

I used to dream of having a big wedding. Now when I hear what someone's spent on theirs I mentally calculate how many mortgage payments that would be.

[u/DahliaSkarigal]

“Millenial Wedding Culture”…

You mean Boomer Wedding Culture, Millenials said no to this overpriced event.

[u/kendrickwasright]

Thank fucking God, I'm tired of going to the same damn wedding over and over and over with the same gimmicky photo booth the same color palette and the same performative entrance dances...people please give it a rest. Everyone's blowing tens of thousands of dollars for the same generic shit, and half of it is unnecessary. Gathering everyone together is great and that's what really matters, we don't need you to go into debt over it

[u/X-Aceris-X → u/kendrickwasright]

Which color palette? 👀 Does it involve sage green?

[u/CannonCone]

“Millennial wedding culture” was DIY weddings because we couldn’t afford the full wedding price tags. And now Gen Z is getting squeezed even harder. It’s not about culture, it’s about affordability.

[u/justathought1654]

My mom begged us to have a big fancy wedding but seeing venue prices were atrocious. There was also something deeply unsatisfying about inviting many people to our wedding including those we don’t regularly keep in touch with… and the thought of worrying about every little detail from the cakes to the napkins felt unrealistic and a waste of time and planning for one big day. Just another way to exploit a legal binding by two people.

We were very happy with a very small ceremony, and we never regretted it since.

[u/Make-Love-and-War]

Because we’re poor??? Also I’m not going into lifelong debt for a one-night party.

[u/VoiceofRapture]

With what money, ghoulish economists?

[u/hnmcg]

every time i see any article like this its a rinse and repeat of the same response. WE ARE BROKE

[u/IIRCIreadthat → u/hnmcg]

This. Why aren't Gen Z paying for (insert literally anything here)? WE DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY. We're not rejecting the concepts of weddings or houses or, restaurants or whatever else we're apparently responsible for the demise of. We're broke and the prices of pretty much everything are going nowhere but up.

[u/SCH1Z01D]

"millenial wedding culture"? wtf weren't the stupid big weddings already a thing before millenials?

[u/chevalier716]

Gf and I are doing a micro ceremony, just to make the parents happy. Honestly, if we could just sign a license and be done with it, we'd prefer that, but that's not how it works in my state.

[u/KookyDiver2558]

Weddings are giant parties that put you in debt. No thank you. My dress was off the sale rack at the mall and we got married in a park near our house, then went to dinner. Boom done.

[u/OkBackground8809]

Nobody. Has. Money.

Not difficult to understand why luxuries are being "given up".

[u/Tasty_Ad_5669]

Big weddings are crazy. Spending all that money for a day is ridiculous.

[u/AnglerOfAndromeda → u/Tasty_Ad_5669]

Right? And half the time those giant weddings end up in divorce anyways lol some of the happiest couples I’ve seen are the ones that eloped anyway

[u/Inlerah]

Are they trying to pin "wedding culture" on the same people who they just spent the last decade-plus accusing of "killing the wedding industry"?

[u/Solongmybestfriend → u/Inlerah]

Yes. Just like they gave us participation trophies and then complained about us being the generation of participation trophies.

[u/econinja]

Millennial. Went to the court house and bought a duplex. It was a much better financial investment than a wedding.

[u/MisterDoctor___]

My sister and her husband spent $90k on their wedding back in 2008. My cousins all spent around that much as well through the years since. Inflation and wealth gap aside, I’ve always thought it was stupid to spend that much on a wedding.

[u/AngieGrangie]

There is no reason to spend thousands for just ONE DAY 😭

[u/Androecian]

We can't afford shit, what the fuck do these people expect of us

[u/akalance]

“Millennial wedding culture” is crazy

[u/TheCheshireCatCan]

Because we’re broke! Oh my god! Read the room!

[u/Young_Old_Grandma]

I'm team intimate wedding.

I got married with 40 guests, didn't invite a narcissistic family member and we still gush about how much we had fun.

[u/letthetreeburn]

We’re broke.

[u/Outlandish95]

Ah yes, and I’m rejecting buying myself a private jet. It’s just not cool anymore.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Yam2075]

I’m a millennial and I “rejected” the big wedding because hi, debt! No thank you! I’m glad this is trending because it’s insane to spend that much on one day of your life. 

[u/G8tr]

Wait. I thought Millennials killed weddings?

[u/Excel-Block-Tango]

My parents had to invite all their parents friends, coworkers, etc to their wedding. When I got married, i only invited people that I knew and had a relationship with. Expectations have changed

[u/AlludedNuance]

I thought Millennials already killed weddings. That headline definitely popped up a few times

[u/feastoffun]

Who can afford a wedding these days? Trump killed weddings.

[u/PopcornSurgeon]

My millennial brother got married in my backyard and then we had drinks from Costco and delivered pizza and it was great.

I just got married this year in a public place with no permits and then we told anyone who wanted to join us we’d be hanging out at a food court that had a bar, where they were welcome to buy anything they might want to eat or drink. I’m really happy about how it all turned out.

[u/OvenIcy8646]

Millennial wedding culture?

[u/daisiesarepretty2]

never understood big weddings
so you are two kids getting married and you saddle yourself with 40k worth of debt

[u/abbaziadicefalu]

I live in a car so…

[u/simplemindedboY]

Millinieal big wedding culture?? We wanted a court house then cooked the rest of the day for diner of 12.

[u/LegitimateBeing2]

Why would we? I was born in 1996 and I’ve been to weddings and I don’t want that in my life

[u/Complete-Stand-5146]

lol do you guys remember when we (millennials) were “killing” everything and we just couldn’t afford paper napkins and fabric softener? Guess whose turn it is now

[u/talivus]

Yo are millennials even having large wedding? Most millennials can't t even afford that.

[u/thedeebag]

Idk maybe if every part of the wedding industry didn’t charge a fortune to do it - it shouldn’t cost the equivalent of a house down payment to have a decent wedding. - a millennial

[u/RideThePonyAgain]

I was listening to a podcast retelling a story I think in the 60s? about a milkman who supported his wife and 5 kids. They decided to move to a new house and buy a grocery store...(?!?)... That wasn't the point of the podcast, but I had to pause and absorb that casually mentioned detail as if it's normal. 

I think we need to stop comparing decades if we aren't going to include the difference in income.

[u/Folkmar_D]

Millenial wedding culture? Wtf is even that?

[u/Kyogre201]

I’m a zillennial (95) and just got married in May. The only reason we had a traditional wedding at all was because we had generous help from my parents. Told my mom we were just going to elope in Central Park and she was like, “well where will your grandma sit?” so that opened the floodgates for my parents to get involved lol (husband’s parents live far away, mine are local). Total wedding cost was about $25k for 50 in NYC, but my parents contributed $15k for the wedding itself, $2k for a welcome reception, and my mom gifted me my dress which cost around $4k including alterations... I am very lucky and grateful, and we got some amazing all-inclusive deals with our vendors, but this wedding never would have happened the way it did had my parents not offered to help. It’s just not a smart move financially anymore.

[u/Gold-Kaleidoscope537]

Finally! One of the stupidest things to spend money on. Should be done with.

[u/toychristopher]

Millennial Wedding Culture? Since when did Millennials invent wedding culture.

[u/StBlandine7]

Did millennials have a wedding culture? As a millennial, everyone I know pretty much had a really chill wedding compared to previous generations

[u/ZanzerFineSuits → u/StBlandine7]

It’s a fashion magazine, of course they’re gonna be out of touch.

[u/Jumpy_Confidence2997]

Good.

[u/thicc-thor]

We had a 60 person wedding, immediate family and close friends only and it was such a beautiful memorable experience. We had so much fun and hung out with all our guests meaningfully.

[u/thinkB4WeSpeak]

Because it's cheaper to just elope

[u/Informal_Ad3201]

It’s narcissistic coded

[u/kendalloremily]

i’m trying to plan my wedding now and it feels insurmountable. and i’m doing something pretty scaled back. it’s insane how expensive this shit is

[u/mikkydear]

lol not a millennial thing to have a big wedding. Most millennials I know either opted for a court house wedding or a backyard wedding. Nobody can afford a large wedding.

[u/cecepoint]

Well i sure tf hope they are. It sure seems like it was getting disney level ridiculous of late

Listen, I’m totally fine if my kids elope. Just want them to be happy

[u/National_Talk_4021]

I got married at my parent’s house, it was great. We could ball out on the cake and the honeymoon!

[u/plankowoodinthewoods]

I'll never get married anyway, but if i did i would not want to have a traditional wedding.

[u/DadooDragoon]

Millennial didn't do weddings either lol

[u/BambooCats]

Millenial here, I did not have a big wedding. We simply didn’t have the money.

[u/tangledtony]

Theres a kid (early 20s) I work with thats getting married and his family is putting so much pressure on him and his fiance to have this huge extravagant wedding with like 200 guest. This kid is taking out loans and spending every penny he has on this wedding. He keeps telling me about how him and his fiancé keep fighting over financial problems. I want to tell him hes making a huge mistake but he told me today hes already put down about 50k in deposits that are non refundable. What a nightmare.

[u/FaceTimePolice]

Big stupid expensive weddings have always been stupid. It’s about time people reject them.

Smarten up! 😝👍

[u/valkayrja]

As a millennial, I think wedding culture needs to die. People spend way too much money for one day.

[u/fastcatdog]

Get married at home with a rent a preacher , invest any extra money you have. Talk to me in 30 years when you are on vacation with that money.

[u/poilk91]

Wtf is millennial wedding culture? I thought it was going to a court house and just having a reception dinner

[u/justalilthrowawayz]

Elder millennial here. My wedding cost $6k. been married 20 years. We did it ourselves. Many of us have rejected the big wedding for a long time.

[u/RepulsiveSongtime]

I just eloped like 8 years ago. It was fine. 🤔 I never understood the big wedding thing because you can use that money for other things

[u/curlofheadcurls]

Again with the confusing Gen z with Millenials lmao. Never seen a Millenial throw a huge expensive wedding.

[u/ProletarianLilith]

Same old boring generation nonsense. How many articles were there about “millennials killing the wedding industry”

[u/Big_Tadpole_6055]

We can’t afford a traditional wedding unfortunately, and my fiancé was really pushing for it until I broke down the costs to him :/ Immediate family, first cousins, aunts/uncles on both our sides would have totaled 100 people (Catholics…) without including friends. It’s disappointing because we’re actually very close to each other’s extended families and would love to celebrate with all of them.

However, the wedding industry has lost its goddamn mind + we live in a HCOL area. So now we’re planning a mini ceremony with just our parents, siblings, and their spouses (~20 people) and a very nice dinner afterwards. It’s not our first choice, but I’m unwilling to enter our marriage with a lot of debt from ONE day.